Fuck you, shitty Kaneki. I-Just fuck you, ok? I don't know what to say.
When you came into my life, you were all soft underbelly. And I just looked at you, and I saw my past. I remembered what happens to those who are nice. They get killed or worse, broken.
Dead like my mom and dad. Or broken, like Ayato. And I couldn't have that.
So I pushed you. A lot more than I should have sometimes. Cause if you broke… I don't know what I'd have done. You were probably my first real friend. I taught you and in the process, you rubbed off on me.
I think… If you gave me more time, I might have grown to love you, I think. I wouldn't know.
But that point's just useless shit now isn't it? Cause everything happened just like I feared, and perhaps knew, would happen. You broke. And because of your niceness, I was too soft to save you. I was useless, just like I was with my brother.
You don't know how many times I laid in bed at night, hoping, praying, for another chance to save Ayato. To save Mom and Dad. To save myself. And then this damn story swings back again, and what happens? I fail. Again.
I'm so sorry, Kaneki Ken. I couldn't save you. I couldn't even help you. And I don't think I ever will. After all, there's no way someone who can't even protect themself can protect anyone else, is there?