"More Bloopers and Outtakes"
SchizoAuthoress has reviewed her stolen "trash reel" and found a few more scenes of interest.
She also thanks God that there were "Harry Potter" purists who reviewed the movie and
kept it in line with the book.
1. [INT. The main dining hall. Prof. Quirrell runs in.]
QUIRRELL: Troll! Troll! Troll in the castle!
[He stops in the middle of the room.]
QUIRRELL: Thought you ought know. (he faints.)
[The students panic and stampede out of the main dining room.]
QUIRRELL: (from floor) Ow! You bloody idiots, I'm still down here! Dammit, that's my
spleen!
****
2. [INT. The dungeons, Snape's Potions classroom.]
SNAPE: I expect very few of you to appreciate the beauty of potions...there will be no
silly wand-waving or chanting of incantations in this class. However, if you pay attention,
I can teach you to brew fame, bottle glory, and even...even...crap, what was that last one?
****
3. [INT. Hogwarts castle, the staircases. Harry, Ron, and Hermoine are standing on one
of them as it starts to move.]
RON: Oh, crap!!!
[Ron loses his balance and falls off.]
****
4. [INT. The main dining hall. The first-year Gryffindors are talking to the House ghost.]
RON: Fred and George told me about you! You're Nearly-Headless Nick!
NICK: I prefer Sir Nicholas--
HERMOINE: *Nearly* headless? How can you be nearly headless?
NICK: Like this.
[Nearly-Headles Nick pulls on his head, which swings on his neck as though attached to a
hinge.]
HARRY: Gross.
NEVILLE: Excuse me, some of us are *eating* over here.
****
5. [INT. Fluffy's Room.]
FLUFFY HEAD A: Grrr...
FLUFFY HEAD B: Gggrrrowww...
FLUFFY HEAD C: (snarls)
[Harry, Ron, and Hermoine are frozen with fear against the door, eyes huge.]
RON: Holy shit.
HARRY: Holy shit.
HERMOINE: Holy shit.
[Suddenly, Ron grins and whips out a rubber chew toy. He waves it around
and squeaks it.]
HERMOINE: Are you insane?!
RON: Shut up and run. On three...
HARRY: One...
HERMOINE: Two...
RON: THREE!
[Ron chucks the toy at Fluffy Head B. Heads A and C attack B and the three
children run like hell.]
****
6. [EXT. The Dark Woods. Harry, Draco, and Fang enter onscreen from the left.
Harry holds the lantern.]
DRACO: I can't believe they're making us do this! This is servants' work! Wait
until I tell my father!
HARRY: Scared, Malfoy?
DRACO: No! (pause. snidely.) You, Potter?
HARRY: No.
[A loud, threatening noise come from offscreen. Draco shreiks and jumps into
Harry's arms.]
HARRY: (grin.) So you're not scared.
DRACO: Dammit, Potter! Put me down!!
HARRY: Fine by me.
[Harry drops Draco on his cute li'l butt and picks up the lantern again.]
DRACO: (pout.) (voice-over of his thoughts.) Stupid, stupid Draco! That was you're
big chance!
****
END REEL
AN: Just imagine Draqco going chibi right as he jumps into Harry's arms. Makes the
scene 10x better!! ::thinks of chibi-Draco:: Ooh...pretty...
I tried to remain as close to the script as possible, with certain parts changed for comedic effect. I don't own Harry Potter.
This is a work of fiction.
If you think this is true...then I'm extremely impressed at my influence over your tiny mind...
SchizoAuthoress has reviewed her stolen "trash reel" and found a few more scenes of interest.
She also thanks God that there were "Harry Potter" purists who reviewed the movie and
kept it in line with the book.
1. [INT. The main dining hall. Prof. Quirrell runs in.]
QUIRRELL: Troll! Troll! Troll in the castle!
[He stops in the middle of the room.]
QUIRRELL: Thought you ought know. (he faints.)
[The students panic and stampede out of the main dining room.]
QUIRRELL: (from floor) Ow! You bloody idiots, I'm still down here! Dammit, that's my
spleen!
****
2. [INT. The dungeons, Snape's Potions classroom.]
SNAPE: I expect very few of you to appreciate the beauty of potions...there will be no
silly wand-waving or chanting of incantations in this class. However, if you pay attention,
I can teach you to brew fame, bottle glory, and even...even...crap, what was that last one?
****
3. [INT. Hogwarts castle, the staircases. Harry, Ron, and Hermoine are standing on one
of them as it starts to move.]
RON: Oh, crap!!!
[Ron loses his balance and falls off.]
****
4. [INT. The main dining hall. The first-year Gryffindors are talking to the House ghost.]
RON: Fred and George told me about you! You're Nearly-Headless Nick!
NICK: I prefer Sir Nicholas--
HERMOINE: *Nearly* headless? How can you be nearly headless?
NICK: Like this.
[Nearly-Headles Nick pulls on his head, which swings on his neck as though attached to a
hinge.]
HARRY: Gross.
NEVILLE: Excuse me, some of us are *eating* over here.
****
5. [INT. Fluffy's Room.]
FLUFFY HEAD A: Grrr...
FLUFFY HEAD B: Gggrrrowww...
FLUFFY HEAD C: (snarls)
[Harry, Ron, and Hermoine are frozen with fear against the door, eyes huge.]
RON: Holy shit.
HARRY: Holy shit.
HERMOINE: Holy shit.
[Suddenly, Ron grins and whips out a rubber chew toy. He waves it around
and squeaks it.]
HERMOINE: Are you insane?!
RON: Shut up and run. On three...
HARRY: One...
HERMOINE: Two...
RON: THREE!
[Ron chucks the toy at Fluffy Head B. Heads A and C attack B and the three
children run like hell.]
****
6. [EXT. The Dark Woods. Harry, Draco, and Fang enter onscreen from the left.
Harry holds the lantern.]
DRACO: I can't believe they're making us do this! This is servants' work! Wait
until I tell my father!
HARRY: Scared, Malfoy?
DRACO: No! (pause. snidely.) You, Potter?
HARRY: No.
[A loud, threatening noise come from offscreen. Draco shreiks and jumps into
Harry's arms.]
HARRY: (grin.) So you're not scared.
DRACO: Dammit, Potter! Put me down!!
HARRY: Fine by me.
[Harry drops Draco on his cute li'l butt and picks up the lantern again.]
DRACO: (pout.) (voice-over of his thoughts.) Stupid, stupid Draco! That was you're
big chance!
****
END REEL
AN: Just imagine Draqco going chibi right as he jumps into Harry's arms. Makes the
scene 10x better!! ::thinks of chibi-Draco:: Ooh...pretty...
I tried to remain as close to the script as possible, with certain parts changed for comedic effect. I don't own Harry Potter.
This is a work of fiction.
If you think this is true...then I'm extremely impressed at my influence over your tiny mind...