Hi there everyone! This chapter is one of those 'five times they didn't and the one time they did' type of ones except a lot shorter and they actually don't do the 'did' aspect. The first one is when Sam meets his future father in law for the first time "..and that kids, is how I met your Grandpa!", the second one is a possible spoiler thingy for the 'Old Dog, New Tricks' episode. We know Samcedes get a dog, this is just our take on it. Our idea is that McConaughey is this demented Jack Russell with a torn ear and will bark at anything that even moves, which does have a huge effect on their sex life. The third one was just a fun one I thought of sometime last week and the same goes for the last one. We're back at college this week so I wouldn't expect an update for a while but who knows? Peace Out! TG101 :-D x

"...'Cede..." Sam panted,closing his mouth around every bit of flesh that he could get hold of. All he wanted to do was rip Mercedes' clothes off and fuck her senseless but he seeing as how he was brought up to be a gentleman to the ladies, he'd carefully take her clothes off then fuck her senseless.

"S-Sam." Mercedes mumbled,squirming as she got more aroused. She could already feel her stomach slowly uncoiling and they hadn't even done much yet."W-wait..." she suddenly announced, pushing him off. "I..have to tell you something."

Sam paused, looking confused. What was there to say? She wasn't pregnant since they hadn't had sex unless she cheated on him. Is that what she wanted to say? Because if it was that would break his heart.

Mercedes took a deep breath. "I'm a virgin." she finally confessed, looking up to Sam to see if there was any reaction. There wasn't except a sigh of relief.

"You're not pregnant!" he grinned, letting out another sigh,followed by a laugh.

"What made you think that in the first place?" the young woman questioned, confused as to where he got that idea in the first place.

Sam shook his head "Never mind. But what made you think that would bother me?"

Mercedes shrugged, letting out a soft sigh as Sam placed his hand on her back. "Look, I love you and I don't care if you're a virgin. I'm always going to love you, virgin or not." he said, kissing her full lips as they emerged into a smile.

"Thanks for this, Sam." she finally whispered,tears in her eyes.

"Not a problem 'Cede, as long as you're comfortable, then that's okay with me." Sam said, flashing her his signature slightly lopsided grin.

1 month later

"Ahem."

Mercedes squeaked in surprise and stopped massaging Sam through his pants as soon as she heard that. Oh no, please for the love of God, no.

Sam appeared to have realised something was wrong and searched Mercedes' face for clues.

"So. You must be Samuel?"

He could have sworn he felt his stomach drop as soon as he saw who that voice belonged to. Mercedes had warned him many times about how protective her father was when it came to her and boys.

"Yes,sir." he mumbled sheepishly as he pulled his pants up and shuffled off, his cheeks burning bright red. He went out the room and into the bathroom, all under the watchful eye of Mercedes' father. Once he was gone, Solomon Jones waited for his daughter's face to appear out of the blanket before making his move.

"Hi Dad." Mercedes squeaked, waving a few fingers at him.

"Just be careful,okay? I don't want you getting hurt." he grunted, moving out of the way as Sam made his way back to the bed.

"I know Dad." Mercedes sighed, with a slight roll of her eyes.

"That's my girl." Solomon smiled, striding out of the door, pausing just before he went through the door.

"Oh, and Sam?" he questioned, turning on his heel at the last moment with a raised eyebrow.

Sam gulped. Here it comes, the grilling he'd been waiting for.

"Yeah?"

"You do realise that if anything happens to Mercedes, you'll have me to answer to. I doubt anyone would miss you all that much."

2 months later

"Mercy..." Sam breathed, kissing her deeply and making her moan. It was Valentine's Day and as a surprise, Mercedes had purchased some Victoria Secrets lingerie as well as a new toy to experiment with.

"Woah, slow down big boy! We've got all night you know." she giggled teasingly, her fingers tracing the outline of the shaft through Sam's boxers.

"Well this is only the beginning." he growled with a roll of his hips. As one of his hands reached to grab the vibrator that Mercedes ordered, he couldn't help but frown as his hand grasped thin air.

Thinking nothing of it, he continued to attack Mercedes from all angles with his mouth. It wasn't until he heard a growling coming from the lounge that he realised.

"Wait there." he instructed, trying to keep as calm as he could, considering what he thought was happening.

"Sam, what's that growling?" Mercedes whispered, her eyes full of fear.

"It may not be what I think it is."

As soon as she finally realised what was going on, she was up in an instant.

"Aw, hell to the naw, Samuel! I told you, I told you!" she fumed, following him closely behind in nothing but a lacy black negligee.

Sure enough, as soon as they entered the lounge, their worst fears were confirmed. Before them stood the demented Jack Russell that Sam adopted the week before who was known as 'McConaughey' with a familiar looking fifty dollar vibrator in his mouth.

"Sam." Mercedes whispered, the anger in her voice evident.

"I'm on it." he mumbled,making his way over to McConaughey, who at that moment was using it as a chew toy, much to Mercedes' dismay."Okay buddy, drop the vibrator and nobody gets hurt." Sam coaxed, keeping his voice low as he edged closer.

As soon as he was close enough, he made a grab for the purple toy. What he hadn't expected was for the dog to move at the last second and for him to land hard on his wrist.

"Fuck!" he swore, instantly going pale.

"Shit,Sam!" Mercedes squealed,rushing over to help her boyfriend.

"Are you okay,Sam?" she cooed, wincing as she saw the state of Sam's wrist.

"Not really. I think it's sorta broken?" Sam admitted,cursing silently at the fact that the McConaughey managed to make an escape.

Mercedes let out a sigh, shaking her head. She really didn't know what to do with him sometimes.

"Come on. Let's get you to the Emergency Room."

4 months later

"Mercedes I-"

Kurt was cut off by the sight that was before him. All he saw was Sam and Mercedes on the bed with Mercedes' hand wrapped around Sam's cock and Sam's pants around his ankles, a slightly pained look on his face.

"Oh good God, that's a penis." he declared, not quite sure where to look.

Sam was too busy concentrating to notice that one of his friends was in the room. His breathing went shaky as he came, making him moan out loud.

"Ce...Ce...Ce..." he panted, thrusting several times into her fist for good measure. As he got his breath back, he realised Kurt was in the room, making him turn a dusky red.

"Erm...hi?"

2 weeks later

"Sam, that bed is gonna break any time, you have to get rid of it." Mercedes fumed, looking at his old bed in disgust.

"No it's not! It's perfectly fine." Sam grinned, wincing as the bed creaked under his weight. "See?"

Mercedes gave him a look which he knew meant 'you can't be serious'.

"Ce, it's fine! We can still get a few more years out of this thing if we wanted to." he insisted, shuffling up to allow his girlfriend to lay down next to him.

"Yeah, and that's only if we use it for sleep. In which I know we're not planning to do because you know what tonight is?"

"No...what?"

Mercedes rolled her eyes, stroking the outline of his face. "Our first year anniversary. I've got it all planned out." she added teasingly, lightly nibbling his lip.

"You - you have?" Sam squeaked, his eyes hopeful.

"Uh huh. Don't you worry 'bout a thing."

Later that night ,things were getting heated. Sam had Mercedes down into her underwear and was about to enter a single digit inside warm folds when they both heard it. A soft creaking followed by a loud crack and before they knew what was happening, the bed collapsed under their combined weight with one last groan.

"You were saying?" Mercedes questioned, an eyebrow raised.

"Oops?"