Disclaimer: I (sadly) have no claims to the song "Hallelujah", it is written by Leonard Cohen. Also I have only used some of the verses written for this song, however, there are a lot more than that.
A/N: I know I said it was a one-shot, but I just love this song, and I had a huge inspiration for this one (which is funny, because the part I got inspiration for, I didn't actually put in this story). So anyways, I hope you enjoy, and REVIEW please!!!
There was a time when you let me know,
What you had going on below
What's really going on with you below
But now you don't wanna never get to show it to me do you?
Remember when I moved in you,
The Holy Dove was moving too,
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah?'
I wrote, and scratched out my words in my notebook as someone knocked on the door. "What do you want?" I yelled, ungraciously; I hated when someone interrupted my when I was playing or singing. I plucked out the melody I was writing as the person on the other side of the door answered my.
"It's me," Dimitri said, opening the door. Quickly I shut the notebook that I was writing in, and put down the guitar.
"Hey, what's up, Comrade?" I said, as he stood in the doorway in front of me.
"You weren't at dinner tonight, I came to see why," he said, looking around. "Now I see. What are you working on?" He reached for my notebook, and I swatted his hand away.
"Hey, hey, hey! That is not for you to be looking at. What is in there is private, until I say so." I picked up the notebook and carried it over to my desk where I locked it away for safekeeping.
"Why not?"
"Because that way I have no expectations that I may or may not live up to."
"I won't judge you, I just want to hear it," Dimitri took a breath, and I knew some 'Zen life lesson' was on the way. "You know, sooner or later you're going to have to let someone into your life, and trust them to accept you."
"I have let people into my life, and I do trust them not to judge me," I had the feeling that this wasn't about the songbook anymore.
"Then why don't you let anybody see your songs, or hear them? Why didn't you let anyone know that you could sing?"
"Just because I kept some things personal, doesn't mean I'm hiding anything from you. It just means I like my privacy. You should know all about that!"
"Hey!"
"No, don't even go there with me! You claim that I know more about you than anybody else because I get you. Well have you ever thought that maybe I only know more about you than anybody else because you don't let anyone in?"
"Rose, stop this."
"No, Dimitri. I'm tired of always defending myself to you. I'm tired of all these stupid 'Zen life lessons'. Maybe the reason I don't show my songs to you is because I know you already have judged me, just like everybody else," I sighed in defeat. "Please go now."
"Rose…" He sighed my name as he backed out the door.
"No," I shut the door on him before either of us could say anything more. Moaning I fell backwards onto the bed; that was the biggest fight we had ever had, even bigger than when Tasha Ozera had almost come between us.
The next morning I got up early for practice with Dimitri. I wasn't sure if we were still having practice, or even how well that would go, but I figured if we didn't, then I could just use the gymnastics equipment for a while. When I got there, however, Dimitri was already there.
I went to the changing room and changed then went to meet Dimitri in the gym.
"We're going to be working hand-to-hand today, so warm-up," Dimitri said, without looking at me.
I turned away, hiding my face, and started the warm-up stretches we had been doing since we started these practice sessions. Practice that day was longer than normal, not because of the time we went, but because neither of us had anything to say to the other. In fact, aside from the occasional correction to my posture, Dimitri and I didn't say a word to each other.
We walked out together, and over to the dhampir dorms, but it was in an angry, awkward silence, not the normal companionable silence that normally surrounded us. I walked faster, to get ahead of him, and separate myself from the angry awkwardness. I shut the door once I made it to my room, and locked it behind me. I pulled my notebook out of the drawer I had shoved it in earlier. I looked at the song I had just finished when Dimitri interrupted me, and studied my chicken scratch…
I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and he please the Lord,
But you don't really care for music do you?
It goes like this the fourth the fifth,
The minor fall the major lift,
The baffled king composing Hallelujah.
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
…at least the stuff that was in around the scratch-outs. I pulled out my guitar from where I'd stashed it in my closet, and fingered the strings. I plucked out the tune I had written, and reworked it for close to an hour.
By the time I had finished the melody, I was already late for class. I put my stuff on the bed and bolted for the door. I slipped into my first class just as the late bell rang, and only earned a glare from my teacher.
The day went by pretty quickly, I had lunch with Lissa and Christian, Eddie, and some other dhampirs. Dimitri was there, on the other side of the cafeteria, eating with the other guardians. He barely looked at me when I sat down, and never looked my way again.
Practice after school was much worse than it had been that morning. Where that morning he was at least civil, now he was downright mean. He never said anything, except to forcefully correct something in what I did; by the time practice was over I was happy to go back and leave Dimitri – which never happened for me.
I went to take a shower and when I got back to my room wrapped in a towel, my guitar was no longer visible on the bed, because there was a body on it. A very live, very breathing, very obnoxious body.
"What do you want, Adrian?" I asked, rudely, as I dug through my drawers to find a pair of sweats.
"Hi, to you too!" He said, brightly, "I heard you were upset, so I came to see why."
I pulled out a pair of sweats and a hoodie. I set them on the bed, and started searching for a clean pair of underwear and bra. "I'm fine; I would love to be able to change in peace though." The dismissal was obvious, even to Adrian, the most stubborn person I knew.
"Alright, when you want to talk, you know where my room is," Adrian opened the door. "This was fun, we should do it again."
I ignored Adrian's comment as I reached to close the door so I could change; a foot stopped the door before I could get it quite shut.
"Jesus! Why does everyone choose the five minutes after I've just taken shower to bother me? What do you want Dimitri?" I said, holding my towel close to my body to keep it from slipping, and letting Dimitri into my room. I shut the door behind him, and continued toweling my hair dry.
"What was Adrian doing here? Boys aren't allowed into girl's dorms, you know that." Well, hi, to you too.
"You're here, are you not a boy?" I asked, being a major bitch.
"Yes, but I am your mentor, therefore I have permission to be here," Dimitri answered, sitting in the same spot on my bed that Adrian had just vacated. I couldn't help but compare the one to the other.
"Humph," I grumbled, turning away. I refused to let something as trivial as having a guy in my room stop me from doing what I had planned in the first place. Which was changing. I pulled on a pair of underwear under the towel, and then my sweats.
"What are you doing?" Dimitri asked as I let the towel hang around my back, so I could fasten my bra on without him seeing.
"Well, I was getting dressed when you and Adrian decided to bother me, and since I don't feel quite as comfortable changing in front of him as I do with you…" I let the towel fall to the ground, once I'd gotten my bra fastened. I turned to him, and caught his stare. His gaze flickered from my chest, covered in only a bra, and my face, aggravatingly challenging him to protest. I stood there for a few minutes, letting him look, then I pulled my shirt on over my head and sat down in my desk chair. "So what do you want?"
"I wanted to apologize for last night. I was wrong to get upset with you, if you don't want to share everything with me, that's you're prerogative. I have no right to tell you what to do."
"Alright. Thanks, and I forgive you," I wasn't sure what to say to an apology; it's not often that I was the one being apologized to, normally I was the one doing the apologizing.
We sat there in silence for a few minutes before Dimitri got up and left. I pushed my guitar out of the way, and curled up on my bed in the same spot Dimitri had just been sitting.
I must have fallen asleep there, because I woke up in the middle of the night, with an idea in my mind. I decided to just act on the idea, and not think it through. I picked up my guitar, and strapped in onto my back, and went upstairs. Dimitri lived alone in a dorm room at the top floor. I made my way up the back stairs until I reached the top floor. I pulled a piece of paper off a bulletin board hung on the wall, and used a pen attached to the board to write a note. Stepping quietly I made my way to Dimitri's door and slipped the note under. I knocked quietly, so that no one else would hear, but loud enough that I knew Dimitri would hear. I waited outside his door until I heard him move inside, and then slipped quietly down the back stairs; I waited halfway down the stairs until I heard the door at the top open, and continued on my way down. I stepped out of the stairway, making sure nobody heard or saw me, and then made my way outside.
Outside, it was pretty light considering it was the middle of the human day. I made my way to the side of the building, where no one would see or hear me at this time of night. Once I heard Dimitri come out of the building I started strumming my guitar, tuning it, then playing my song. I started singing quietly the words I had written in my notebook, that I know had by memory:
"I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and he pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music do you?
It goes like this, the fourth the fifth,
The minor fall, the major lift,
The Baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah"
By now, Dimitri had found me in the shade on the side of the building, and was watching me sing and strum my guitar. I looked him straight in the eyes as I sang my song.
"You say I took the name in vain,
Though I don't even know the name,
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light in every word,
It doesn't matter what you heard,
The holy or the broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"I did my best, it wasn't much,
I couldn't feel so I tried to touch,
I've told the truth I didn't come to fool you.
And even though it all went wrong,
I'll stand before the Lord of Song,
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"There was a time you let me know,
What's really going on below,
But now you never show it to me, do you?
Remember when I moved in you,
The Holy Dove was moving, too,
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
"Maybe there's a God above,
And all I've ever learned from love,
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you.
It's not a cry; you can hear the lie,
It's not somebody who's seen the light,
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah."
As I struck the last chord, Dimitri reached out his hand to stroke my face. I unstrapped my guitar and set it down against the building, as Dimitri stepped in closer to me.
"Did you write that?" He asked, so close I could feel his warm breath on my face.
"Yes, I wrote it for you," I said, looking into his eyes. His eyes were conflicted with emotion, but as I watched, they filled with love. Love for me.
"Roza," he sighed my name as he leaned in to kiss me. "Roza, always know that I love you."
"I know," I smiled as I kissed him back, pulling him closer for warmth and to just be closer to him. "I love you, too."
We stood there kissing until the sun went down, and we took my guitar back to my room, to continue kissing in private.