Ed exhaled, hands stuffed in his pockets. He stood outside, his breath escaping his lips in a misty vapor. It curled in on itself, floated upward, and gradually but quickly disappeared into the cold, black night sky. He watched its quick lifespan, and his eyes refocused on the stars. He enjoyed the crisp, clean air of winter. He wasn't such a fan of his cold foot. But he liked the crunch of snow as he shifted his weight. Such small pleasures.
A couple stood behind him, near one of the benches, making out, hands all over each other. Except for their swapping spit behind him, it was a quiet night alone, and it was more than enjoyable. His mind wandered from the small pleasures of the small park, to Roy's recent success. He'd managed to come out on top when polls asked the people of Amestris who was preferred. The current Fuhrer would certainly take that into account when determining his successor. Still, the bastard didn't think it was enough and was forcing the team all to work as diligently as possible while under the eye of the Fuhrer.
"Don't have a girlfriend to make out with?"
Ed scowled. It had been months, but he could recognize that teasing tone of voice any day of the week. He returned his eyes to normal height, and faced the direction of that voice. There, in the snow, he saw someone he thought he'd never see again. A pale, freckled young woman with wild red hair and a feral grin. But something seemed off. Her cheeks were shallow. She wore the light sweater Ed had last seen her in - something once brilliant green, now so dingy - and in sneakers, not boots.
"I'm seeing a ghost," he whispered in disbelief.
She raised her shoulders and her eyebrows. "Just a cold girl, actually." He stared for another long moment, still in shock. She looked down at the ground and shifted feet. "I know you'll probably say no for a bunch of reasons," she said, not quietly or ashamedly, but avoiding his gaze for some reason, "but I was wondering if you could put me up. I'm sort of homeless." Her eyes landed on the romantic couple by the bench, who finally separated, held hands, and hurried off down the sidewalk. They were alone.
Ed huffed, and responded, "Yeah, whatever. Just don't run out on me again." Her head whipped around and it was her turn to stare at him in disbelief. He grinned widely. "Seeing a ghost, or a cold guy?" She blinked a few times and shook herself out of it.
"No, uh," she answered, "just surprised." She met his gaze. "You're nicer than I thought."
When she smiled earnestly, so unlike her, he just looked away, and snorted. "Sure. Let's go. It's cold out here." He turned around, and started across the park, to the sidewalk. She followed him, not quite quick enough to catch up so she could walk beside him, so she remained a few feet behind. After reaching the sidewalk, Ed waited a few seconds for her to catch up. She kept her eyes on the snowy ground in front of her, keeping an eye out for slippery ice. They were silent as they walked down the street together, comfortable in their own thoughts.
Finally, Kay spoke. "I didn't think you'd let me stay with you."
Ed replied reluctantly, "I'm over it. I was more angry about you leaving than anything."
She murmured a soft, "Oh," and said nothing more. Ed didn't find anything worth talking about either, so he just left it at that and they traversed the slippery sidewalk with care, again keeping to their own thoughts. They finally reached Ed's apartment building. Ed ignored the boys in the yard, standing and smoking a couple spliffs. Kay kept Ed between her and the boys, glancing covertly at them.
"Hey!" one of them called out, "It's that girl!"
"What girl?" one of them asked. To Ed, he was the one who had warned him that Kay was trouble. To Kay, he was the guy who had been least interested in her, and one of the last to linger when Roy had scared them off. Ed shot them all an evil glare, and they turned to each other, a couple of them grumbling. The one who had forgotten about her was the last to turn around, and looked at her curiously. If Kay remembered correctly, he was such a pot head that he often forgot how to say his own name. No wonder he didn't remember her.
Ed gently nudged her inside, his hand naturally touching the small of her back. She walked inside as directed, and he closed the door behind him. Kay was already heading for Ed's apartment door. She stood patiently as he followed her, pulled out his keys, and unlocked the door. He held it open for her, again just a natural social cue. She averted her gaze when he did, and stepped inside. He closed the door behind them.
"I can sleep on the floor," she offered, finally speaking into the silence. Ed turned to face her, having decided to lock the door behind him because he was feeling particularly paranoid tonight. He was surprised, and not, to find her sitting cross-legged by the heater, and removing her shoes and sweater. Under her sweater was her old tank top, and she hadn't been wearing socks.
Ed admitted haltingly, "I wasn't really that upset when you slept on the couch last time." He hesitated. "It's okay if you take it." He waited for a response, but found nothing. She was hunched over, her back to him, still cross-legged. "Is something wrong?" he inquired, and approached her. He knelt beside her, and she hissed on an inhale. He followed her gaze down to her feet. He'd expected as much. "I was worried about frostbite," he admitted, and stood to fetch something helpful.
Kay stopped him, though, grabbing his pant leg. "It's perniosis, not frostbite. I just need a steroid cream. I'll be fine." Ed hesitated, and stared down at her. She looked a lot thinner than when he'd last seen her. Unhealthily so. He glanced down at her toes, red and swollen with blisters of some kind. Something about this visit was so different from the last. She wasn't so confident. She was needy. Vulnerable.
"Sure," Ed agreed, and she let go of his leg. He went to his bathroom to search for some cream. Al came by once a year and replenished his stock of medicines and first aid kit, but he wasn't sure if he had anything... He rummaged around for a while in the cabinet and called out, "You don't happen to know what that stuff looks like, do you?"
"White, in a tube!" she shouted, "And if you find anything that's labeled Nifedipine, that would be extremely helpful!" Ed stared at the cabinet, and snatched the tube she described. There was only one, so that better be it. He glanced around, and read everything on the shelves. Nothing that sounded like Nifedipine. So he closed the cabinet, turned off the light, and returned to his guest on the floor. He handed the cream over.
She looked it over, examining it. "Not bad," she murmured, and squeezed some onto her fingers. She gingerly touched her toes, and treated them. Ed stood there, his arms crossed, watching pensively. "Lucky you," she told him absently, "I have no intention of leaving, and will fight tooth and nail so I don't have to go out into the cold. I'm staying as long as I possibly can." She finished one foot and moved to the next.
"Lucky you, I want you to stay." Her hands ceased movement and her head whipped around to stare at Ed incredulously. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and her mouth hung open slightly in an expression that clearly questioned his sanity. He explained, sitting down next to her, "You left last time before I could decide what to do with you. I decided I wanted to help you. Get a job, get on your feet, learn to read and write."
Her expression fell stony. "I can read."
"Really?" he asked. "You learned to spell since you last left that note?"
She looked away indignantly and muttered, "Most words are spelled phonetically."
Ed snorted. "I thought you said pride doesn't exist."
Her shoulders dropped. "I'm a woman. Women are full of contradictions."
Ed inhaled and continued despite her utterances, "Regardless of what exactly needs my attention, I decided to help you. And you can't get away." He strode to the couch and sat down. She swung around to face him, watching him uncertainly. He grinned. "So it's time to spill your guts. Why don't you ever try to get a job?"
Kay looked down at her hands in her lap, fiddling with the white tube. Reluctantly, she answered, "I'm not sure how to answer your question, honestly. I'm not disabled or anything, and I don't see why someone wouldn't hire me. I have nothing against people with jobs, or against getting a job myself." She sighed and closed the tube. "I've always lived like this. It started when I was too little to get a job, and there wasn't a clear indicator of when I should start being responsible. It seemed silly to get a job, too, when I've lived so long without one... It just wasn't necessary."
"Wasn't?" Ed asked for clarification. "What changed?"
She looked away from her hands, to her right. "I can feel myself getting older. My joints ache when it's cold." Her shoulders tensed, and she drew her knees up to her chest. As she spoke, her voice became increasingly quiet. "My hair will turn grey, or fall out, or both. I won't be able to seduce men the way I can now. I need to get my act together or when I'm old and tired, I'll be paralyzed in the snow, shivering and without anyone to help me." She pressed her knees to her eyes. "It's my fault, too. I killed him." It was spoken so quietly, Ed wasn't even sure what she said, particularly muffled from her legs and arms.
Ed wasn't sure what to say. He watched her dismal fetal position, examined her thin arms, and bony shoulders. When was the last time she'd eaten? He glanced over to his kitchenette. The dishes had piled up since she'd last been there. Finally, he asked, "What made you realize all those things?"
She lifted her head, smiling tiredly. "I found a grey hair." She pointed to her head. If she had told that to anyone else, she would have died of embarrassment. But Ed just listened, and smirked quietly. She chuckled humorlessly at herself.
"Hungry?" Ed asked, standing to find something to eat.
"Starving," she replied, getting to her feet herself, gingerly. And Ed believed her statement. He rummaged through the ice box and found some frozen chicken. He tossed it onto the counter, along with some frozen broccoli. Then he put some water on the stove to boil and grabbed the bread.
He told her, "I can give you a sandwich or something for now, but it's going to take a while for the chicken to thaw out." As he spoke, he pulled out four slices of bread, grabbed a knife, some peanut butter, and honey. Kay watched this, feeling more tired than she should have. She'd only woken up hours ago. She felt tears tug at her eyes while she watched such a domestic scene. Ed, beautifully imperfect, removing his jacket and boots, and continuing to assemble their sandwiches.
Finally, she turned around and brought it up again. "I'd prefer to sleep on the floor, by the way. I'm already borrowing your roof, and your heat, and eating your food." She hesitated. Then she finished, "I'm not taking your bed, too." She heard some of the cabinets open and close. A succession of uneven thumps (that was Ed walking) approaching her. She found a sandwich under her nose. Her eyes trailed up the metal hand, up the arm, where it met the shoulder, and up to his face.
He waited patiently for her to take it. "I'm a State Alchemist, lady. If I couldn't feed two people, I don't know how people with families can work in the military." She took the offered food, and stood there for a moment longer. Ed moved on, though, plopping down on the couch and devouring his sandwich in seconds. Kay seated herself on the ground, cross legged again, and chewed slowly. Ed eyed her warily. What was really wrong with her? "So what did you do after you left?" he asked conversationally, fishing for information.
She shrugged. "I wandered around, my usual thing. Bummed a few cigarettes when I couldn't hold back, begged for money, for food." She took another small bite of her sandwich, and swallowed it. "I showed off deductive reasoning to morons, won a few gambles. Then it got cold." She took another bite, and chewed slowly. Ed watched her monotone expression until she swallowed, and then she sighed. "I found someone to live with for a few weeks. It didn't last longer than that. I hopped from house to house, until I ran out of places to go. I went door to door, asking for a place to sleep. That's kind of when I saw you in the park."
"You're not telling me something," Ed accused her quietly.
She didn't look up at him. Just sat there, limp. "I met a few old friends earlier today. Well... I guess they're not friends anymore. They have a few problems with me." One hand immediately moved to her stomach, covering it, not a conscious gesture. "It didn't turn out well, but I can handle myself in a fight."
Ed snorted, and stood up. "Maybe when you aren't frozen and half starved," he contended, and sat down next to her. She gave him a reproachful look. He nodded at her stomach. "Lift your shirt." She sighed, and put the sandwich down on the coffee table. Then she did as she was told, and lifted her shirt to reveal her belly. Ed examined the bruising, and experimentally pushed on her ribs. "Does this hurt?" he asked.
She answered quietly, "Yes."
Ed, tone clinical, demanded, "Tell me play by play how it happened."
She brought her shirt back down, and grabbed her sandwich. "There were three of them. We talked, but they were none too friendly. I guess I set them off somehow. The biggest of them aimed a punch for my face. I stepped to the side, he missed. I punched him in the jaw, using his own momentum." She reached up and rubbed her cheek, thinking about the injury. "A skinny kid grabbed my right wrist, put me in an armlock. I was almost out of it, when the third guy just kneed me in the gut. I threw up, and collapsed. They kicked me for a while, shouted some stuff, and walked away."
"Three on one," Ed murmured, then to her, "Doesn't sound fair." She rubbed her shoulder, and then continued to eat. Silence fell between them. Ed finally spoke about himself. "It's only fair," he began, "to tell you what I've been up to since you left. I've been working mostly." He paused here thoughtfully. "Kind of crazy when you think about it. I'm not one to sit down and do paperwork that's completely unrelated to alchemy, but that bastard Mustang is so fucking strict now that the Fuhrer is keeping a close eye on him and his team." He stretched lazily and lay down on the ground. "He's such a bastard."
Kay snorted. "You say that, but you sound so fond of him."
Ed scoffed. "Yeah, right! Have you seen that smug grin? I want to sock him!"
Kay chuckled. "I'm glad you haven't really changed, Ed."
"I don't know what you mean," he responded, waving it off dismissively.
They spent the night talking. Ed eventually made dinner.
Kay hummed happily in her sleepy waking state. Everything was warm, and her back pressed firmly against something flat. It was familiar, comforting... Except for that annoying person grabbing her shoulder firmly with a cold metal hand and shaking her. The shaking brought her back to life. She could feel the ache in her belly, where her ribs were, and the burning, itching sensation in her toes.
She opened her eyes blearily and peered at Ed, who was shaking her. "What?"
Ed ceased his shaking. "The doctor is here."
"What?" she repeated, a little more vehemently incredulous.
"Well you can't go into the cold on account of your toes," Ed reminded her, "so I called a doctor. Sit up." He took her hand, and tugged gently. She groaned, but did as she was told and sat up. Ed's hand rested on her back and guided her along the way, without really thinking about it. She looked around, still bleary eyed, and spotted the doctor, who sat in the lounge chair comfortably. The doctor was female, with black hair pulled into a tight bun, glasses resting on her nose, and a friendly smile. Ed brought Kay to her feet then, introducing the doctor. "This is Dr. Arzt."
The doctor stood and held out a slender hand. "Nice to meet you, Kay."
Kay shook her hand slowly, and turned to Ed. "What's she here for?"
Ed answered easily, "A routine check-up, your ribs, and your feet."
Kay eyed the doctor warily. "I've never been to see a doctor before."
"Well, I'll have a lot to check, won't I?" Dr Arzt said, not quite perky, but happy still.
Ed left the women, and called out over his shoulder, "I'm going out. I'll be back."
"Wait!" Kay shouted, frantic suddenly. The door slammed. She stared in disbelief at the door. He'd just left her, completely alone, with a stranger. Who knew what doctors really did to their patients? Finally, Kay closed her mouth, swallowed, and faced the doctor, whose eyebrows drew together worriedly.
"Don't be nervous," Dr. Arzt said, "I'm here to help. Let's look at your ribs and feet first, since those seem to be points of concern for Edward." Kay groaned inwardly. What was she going to do to her...?
Ed opened the door to his apartment and called out, "I'm home." The words died on his lips as he closed the door and looked up. Kay lay on the couch, eyes squeezed shut tight, while the doctor had her hand in Kay's shirt, clearly fondling her breasts. Ed took a deep breath, and looked down at his feet. "I clearly came back at the wrong time," he observed, kicking off his boots. "I'll just go to the bathroom or something."
"Don't bother," the doctor told him, not unkindly, "We're done here. I was simply checking for breast cancer. I'm sure your doctor does something similar for prostate cancer." Ed cleared his throat, and looked down at his hands, cheeks aflame. He dared peek up at them, and found Kay yawning, while the doctor packed her things up in her bag. Ed dropped his own bags by the front door, and approached Kay. He clasped her shoulder.
She looked up at him, a single eyebrow raised, and he asked, grinning, "How did it go?"
She scowled at him very firmly. "You ditched me."
He took his hand back and inched away, his smile turning apologetic. "I had an appointment." When she pulled her lip back in a low growl, he backed away further, laughing nervously. "Everything turned out alright, didn't it?" he asked, wiping his hands nervously on his pants. "I really had to go do something, or Mustang would have fuckin' ripped my head off for standing him up." He paled as the words left his lips, and he saw Kay's expression fall in surprise.
"Not like that!" Ed clarified, waving his hands in denial, "It wasn't a date! Alphonse makes him buy me clothes when I need it because I'm not really all that responsible." He watched Kay's shock turn into a worried smile, so he relaxed a little. "I bought you some stuff, too. Mustang remembered your measurements, so they should fit." Kay's eyebrows shot up at that. Ed felt the color drain from his face again. What did he say?
"I never told him my measurements," she claimed, more surprised than offended.
Ed relaxed again. "I guess he has a good eye for that stuff. He bought you that sweater." He gestured to the one on the floor, already mixed in with Ed's clothes. It was at that moment that he foresaw some problems they might have with laundry. He pushed that to the back of his mind and said, "Do you mind if you double check to make sure they fit, though?"
A slow, evil grin grew on her face. "Like a fashion show?"
Ed's eyebrows furrowed in apprehension. "I don't know what you mean."
"Excuse me," Dr. Arzt interrupted. Both of them turned to look at her. She seemed to have been enjoying their conversation, from the look on her amused face, but she went on, "I'm afraid I have to go soon, and I'd like to talk to you both." Ed and Kay exchanged a glance, a mixture of apprehension and confusion. Dr. Arzt continued, "Kay is... healthy, for all intents and purposes. Her body is functioning fine." Ed watched the apprehension melt away in Kay's shoulders. "But," the doctor continued, causing her shoulders to tense again, "her rib is in fact broken. I can't do anything about it, but it should heal, with some pain." She met Kay's gaze then, who nodded in understanding, very severe.
Then the doctor turned to Ed. "For her feet, I can write a prescription for Nifedipine. With the cream you've been using, it may take up to a month for her feet to heal, but I doubt it will take that long." Ed let himself relax. There didn't seem to be anything they didn't already know, and there was something the doctor could do about her feet. But he relaxed too soon. "See me to the door, Edward," she suggested, holding out her arm for him to take. He did so, awkwardly, and led her to the door. Kay watched curiously as Ed opened the door, and then the doctor started whispering. What were they talking about...?
Ed repeated back to the doctor, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Addicted to sex."
"Given her background," Dr. Arzt said, "I decided it was best to check on some things. STDs, her physical condition down there... She's clean and healthy, but she's very liberal about sex." She touched Ed's shoulder gently, compassionately. "I don't know what your relationship is with her. I'm no expert on the subject, either, and I don't want to judge. Talk to her yourself."
Ed murmured, "I will."
She nodded and looked at Kay. She smiled and waved. "Goodbye. I'll see you again." She looked Ed in the eye. "Contact me in a few weeks. I'll see what's up, and hopefully she'll be all better." Ed nodded, and she waved one last time before leaving. Ed exhaled loudly, and closed the door behind her. He turned around and was faced with Kay, looking curious.
"What did she want, so privately?" she pried teasingly. "A kiss, maybe?" She wiggled her eyebrows, but Ed didn't react. She noticed his lack of reaction and dropped the smile. "I guess she isn't your girlfriend then," she concluded, leaning back in her seat and propping her feet up on the table. "Seriously, what did she want to talk about?"
"When was the last time you had sex?" Ed asked solemnly.
"The night before last," she answered without hesitation. She glanced over at him and met his reproachful gaze. She sat up and rolled her eyes. "You've got to be kidding. Maybe it isn't the healthiest thing in the world, but he was really cute, and he was letting me stay at his place." When he still had no reaction, she stared at him, at a loss. She just didn't know what to think of his silence. "I have sex once in a while. Big deal. Just because you can't get some, it doesn't mean you have to look down on people who do for recreational-"
"He was letting you stay so that you would have sex with him," Ed interrupted calmly, without disgust or condescending tone. It was a fact. He sighed. "It's too much like prostitution for me to feel comfortable with it." Kay let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She met Ed's gaze, and understood how he felt.
She didn't back down. "I know what you're saying, Ed, but listen to me." He kept her gaze, searching for the explanation she was about to give, trying to keep an open mind. "I had sex with him because he was cute. I had no other reason to. Maybe he was manipulating me. That's fine. But I didn't do it for shelter. I did it for fun."
Ed chuckled humorlessly. "That just makes you promiscuous, then."
She grinned. "Maybe." He returned the grin, and picked up one of the bags by the door and tossed it to her. She caught it easily, and looked inside. Her eyebrows rose, and she stood up, gentle on her feet, before asking, "Should I change in the bathroom, or would you like to see more than the clothes, Edward?" She winked suggestively at him, and he just looked away, embarrassed.
"I don't even want to see the clothes," he complained.
"Too bad!" she told him, "I'm going to try them on and showcase them for you!"
"I already know what they look like," he muttered grumpily, "I bought them..."
But in all honesty, he didn't mind sitting there and watching her come out every five minutes, wearing something sexier than the last. She was damn hot after all, even if she'd lost a little more weight than was healthy.
"Whatever do you mean?" Kay asked, feigning ignorance. She was blinking at Ed innocently with wide eyes, and eyebrows raised expectantly. Ed gave her a frank look. They sat on the couch, the coffee table in front of them cleared, except for a few sheets of paper and two pencils. When Ed didn't say anything, she daintily picked up her cup of water, which she pretended was tea. "I can write perfectly well." She sipped from her cup.
Ed glared at her impatiently. "You need to learn how to spell."
She waved her hand dismissively. "Words are spelled phonetically."
Ed smirked. "Write down that word, phonetically." She glared at him, and pressed her lips together in a firm line. She really didn't want to do this... but she'd been challenged. There really was no way of getting around Ed when they lived together. She snatched the pencil off the table, and scribbled in those pointy, slanted letters. F-E-N-E-T-I-C-L-Y. Ed took her paper, and scribbled the correct way to spell it. P-H-O-N-E-T-I-C-A-L-L-Y.
She threw her arms in the air from exasperation. "I can't do it, Ed! I give up!" She stood up.
Ed grabbed her elbow, and growled, "No you don't," before yanking her back onto the couch and shoving the paper back towards her. "You're learning basic spelling. It's your own fuckin' language. I don't care how you've been educated. I'm educating you now." She exhaled loudly, in disappointment, and watched him write some basic words on the piece of paper, then handed it to her.
She skimmed over it. "None of these words are spelled phonetically."
Ed straightened his back, smirking triumphantly. "I wouldn't tell you how to spell something you already know." She shook her head, and studied each one of them carefully, making sure to understand why they were spelled the way they were. "Now write each one five times," Ed demanded. He stood up. "I'll go make some lunch."
Ed closed the door, exhaustion from the day pulling on every movement. He hated work so much when Roy was so tight-assed... He kicked off his boots, dropped his belongings by the door, and plopped down on the couch. He closed his eyes. He sighed loudly in appreciation for a chance to relax... He peeked his eyes open. What was that smell?
He lifted his head and looked around to find Kay standing in the kitchenette next to the stove, humming. His eyebrows pulled together in confusion. Could she cook? He wasn't sure. She'd never done so before. His eyebrows rose, however, when he spotted her outfit. She was wearing the blue short shorts Roy had gotten, thinking of pajamas, and one of Ed's cotton button up shirts. She really liked those things for some reason.
She turned around and smiled at him. "This is my first time cooking. It's fun." Ed felt dread settle in his stomach, and he had to do something to get her away from the stove or else the entire building would burn down for sure. He would also have to eat her cooking if she succeeded... He wasn't exactly ready to figure out if she was a good cook or not.
So he said, "Turn off the stove. We need to talk about you getting a job." She obeyed without hesitation, and scampered over to the couch. She plopped down next to him and faced him, hands folded in her lap. What the hell was she so cheerful for? "You're pretty smart," Ed said slowly, not really having thought about her getting a job until just now, "so you'll probably be able to do anything."
"Except physical labor in the winter," she chimed in, "My feet problem comes back."
Ed hummed thoughtfully, frowning. "What are you good at?"
She shrugged. "Dancing. Pickpocketing. Kissing. Lap dances." Ed closed his eyes and sighed. She heard the frustration in his sigh, and watched him try to gather the patience to deal with this. She looked down at her hands. He was trying to help... "I can draw. And I'm pretty good with deductive reasoning. I can look at someone and tell you what kind of parents they had." Ed's eyes snapped open and he looked at her, surprised by her change of heart in the conversation. She smirked. "But I'm still pretty good at lap dances."
A knock on the door resounded through the apartment. Ed was lying on the couch, book on his face, snoring lightly. Kay had been lying on her stomach, on the floor, pencil in hand, trying to write out a word. Once she heard the knock, she ceased what she was doing and glanced at Ed, who wasn't waking up. The knock resounded again.
Eyebrows furrowed in a little worry and confusion, she stood and answered the door. She opened it and peered outside cautiously. It was Dr. Arzt. Kay relaxed a little and allowed her in quietly, explaining that Ed was asleep.
But the doctor just laughed loudly. "Are you kidding? I don't care if I wake him up. He's paying me to make sure you're healthy, not to be nice to him." She winked teasingly, and Kay just smiled nervously in return. The idea of a doctor still didn't make her entirely comfortable. Ed didn't stir one bit throughout the check-up.
When he finally did stir, he found himself watching two girls talk amiably in the kitchen. Dr. Arzt had brought out a folding chair and was seated by the icebox. Kay was clearly the one cooking. Ed sat up slowly, wondering when Dr. Arzt got there, and why the doctor would let Kay cook in the first place. It was bound to be a disaster.
"Kay? Dr. Arzt? Are you cooking?" he asked, just to make sure he wasn't seeing things.
"Yep," Kay answered easily, "and you're going to try it this time. No distractions."
Ed groaned. "You knew I was keeping you from cooking?"
"Your efforts are lame and thinly veiled," Kay informed him. Ed sighed and flipped over, burying his face in the seat of the couch. He just wanted to sleep... It felt like he'd only just fallen asleep when Kay shook his shoulder violently. He blinked, and sat up quickly, wondering what was going on, slightly bewildered. His memory returned quickly. It helped when Kay stuck a bowl of rice and shishkabob under his nose.
He took it from her, reluctantly. "It might be poisoned."
Kay smirked. "I need someone to put me up. It's not poisoned."
He reasoned, "You found someone else to put you up who'll have sex, too."
Her smirk widened. "You wouldn't have sex if I offered?" He looked away from her, flushing furiously, and took a hurried bite so he wouldn't have to answer. And found it was decently good. His chewing slowed down, as he tasted it carefully. He hummed and affirmative and swallowed before taking another bite. Kay gladly clapped him on the back, and he started to cough.
She laughed at his choking on rice. "My bad!"