Title: There You Go

Song: "My Hero" by the Foo Fighters.

Watching Chad across the car park after graduation, I wish I could say a proper goodbye. It's too late I know. I watch my hero; I wish I could tell him that's what he is. Watch him as he goes, there goes my hero, he's ordinary.

I want to tell you that I do know you watch me, have been watching me all year. What you don't know is that I watch you too. You know my hero, the one that's on. You mean more to me than you will ever know.

I ignore you because you know the truth. And I'm not ready to admit it. Too alarming now to talk about. You remind me of the things I am not proud of. When I am with Sharpay, I let her take over, and I forget about everything else and I do what she says. And when I do this, I even forget that what we are doing is wrong. If she says its right, I believe her. But when I see you, this barrier of ignorance I have built around me falls apart and it alarms me.

Truth or Consequence… Rejecting you, the only true thing I ever had, was a mistake and I am dealing with the consequences. We both are. But I chose this consequence, because I couldn't give up my sister. And I knew that's what would happen if I chose you instead. She would never forgive me, and I couldn't live with that. I'm sorry that by making my choice I hurt you and decided your future for you. It wasn't my intention but I'm an Evans. I can't help but be selfish sometimes.

You think things don't have to be this way. You think I don't have to believe she's the perfect person for me. You think I don't have to believe I need to be with her… or that I have to be like her. But I can't believe you either. Take your pictures down and shake it out. I'm not ready to do all the things you think I can do. I'm not ready to believe in myself. It's something I've never done. Use that evidence, race it around. You think deep down I have it in me, but I don't. You say that because I stood up to her before that I can do it again. But what if I don't want to? I'm not like you. I don't know what independence is. I need her.

I distance myself from you because I don't want you to tell me I am my own person. I like having Sharpay tell me what to do. I've grown so accustomed to it. It's not something I am willing to part with. I know this makes me weak. Sharpay is everything, and when I am with her I am weak. But you have seen for yourself, even if I have the strength to break free of her… I will always go back.

There goes my hero. I look up to you because we are so alike, maybe not quite in the way you think we are, but I see the things in Sharpay that she doesn't see in herself, and you do the same in me. You see things about me I would never guess are even there, and they are things I will never know. They are your little secret. But it doesn't bother me, it makes me feel special. Maybe one day I will discover them for myself. I would like to make you proud.

Don't the best of them bleed it out? Isn't it what people do if they don't get their way? Just deal with it? (That is to say, ordinary people… people like Sharpay always get what they want. She's not ordinary.) You'll get over me, you're strong. You'll go off to college, meet someone else, someone better for you and willing to accept every part of you for who you are. Eventually you won't think of me anymore. Kudos my hero. That is something I could never do if Sharpay abandoned me. I guess ordinary people are stronger… they are the ones that become the real heroes. Sharpay may grow up to be a star, but it's different because what she will be remembered for won't compare to you.

There goes my hero, I love you Chad but we aren't meant to be together. You may think that about me and Sharpay… but that is one thing you are wrong about. Sharpay may never admit it, but she needs me too. As long as I know this, I will always be around for her. She means everything to me. She taught me everything. She's perfect and I love her. And as long as I love her, I can't love anyone else more.

I guess the vital difference between us is that as much as I admire heroism, there are other things that Sharpay possesses that I hold in higher regard. Things you don't see as important at all. It's ingrained in me and makes me different from everyone else. But you're not different from everyone else… you're just the same. There goes my hero, he's ordinary. You're my hero Chad, and you always will be. But Chad, you are just too ordinary for me to love.