Morgue.

Retaliation

Edward's Point of View

My eyes went wide when I saw Alice and Bella sitting on arm chairs looking up at me with menacing eyes, each of their own fingertips barely touching the other in the middle of our living room. Oh crap, I must have really pissed them off, I thought.

"Edward," Bella said with a clenched jaw. "Do you know what I had to go through today?"

"Well I do know that there may or may not have been a phone call to my cell phone. You should know not to answer someone else's phone," I tried to defend.

"Not a chance, Edward," Alice spat. "The name games have got you in a hell of a lot of trouble!" Alice gave Bella a knowing glance. I would have known what the glance was about if Alice would stop playing the chicken dance in her head. That song is going to be stuck in my head all day, too!

"If I say I'm sorry will it help?" I sighed. The two of them raised the same eyebrow in unison.

"Possibly," they said.

"I'm sorry," I said with remorse.

"We need more than that, Edward," Bella smiled wickedly. Wait. Bella said that? Now I know I'm in trouble.

"We have a few ways you can make this up to us." Alice let out an evil laugh that sent shrills down my spine.

"What kind of things?" I said, shrinking my head into my shoulders.

"First, shopping," Alice smirked. Please tell me this isn't happening? Bella's face finally moved to an expression other than fury.

"We never talked about that Alice!" Bella shrieked.

"Trust me, Bella," Alice stated in a neutral tone. Bella sank into the chair with a sigh, but shortly returned to her frightening posture.

"Okay, shopping it is, Alice," I conceded.

"Second," Bella laughed in a very scary way, "you are going to explain to Charlie what happened!" I felt my eyes go wide at the thought. Alice suddenly let the song stop so I could see a vision of Charlie trying to shoot me. I knew he couldn't hurt me, but having to explain why that was to him, would be a big problem. After that, the chicken dance continued-this time with big bird dancing to it.

"This is going to be more difficult than I thought," I mumbled to myself. Alice heard me and snickered.

"The third is a surprise," they chuckled together. I shuddered, thinking about what they might have planned. There was no way that this would be easy.

"Edward, do you know that I had to have Alice sneak me out of Charlie's?" Bella asked, crossing her arms across her chest. "You're taking care of the Charlie situation first." Bella turned her attention to Alice. "Shopping doesn't come first in everyone's book, Alice. Charlie would find out I was missing if we went shopping first!"

"I wouldn't have it any other way, dear Bella," Alice smiled. "Have fun, Eddie!"

Soon enough, I was running toward Charlie's with Bella latched onto my back. I scaled the wall up to Bella's window, sat her down on her bed and started kissing her. Much to my displeasure, she pulled away.

"Charlie. You. Now. Go!" Bella instructed. "You need to take care of this!"

"If I must," I said, as I jumped out of the window and headed back to my house to collect my car. I was trying to figure out how I could explain to Charlie exactly what happened, but still tell him nothing,-that's harder than you would think.

I could see the familiar white house in the distance, slightly darkened in the twilight. Someone had pulled the Volvo out of the garage for me and I could only assume it was Alice. My theory was confirmed when I saw her sitting on the trunk of the car with her legs crossed.

"Hello, naughty little Eddie," Alice giggled evilly. What did that evil little pixie want now?

"I'm already in enough trouble, Alice. Could you please just let me get my first apology done?" I pleaded.

"Absolutely not, brother."

"What do you want?"

"You're going to help me," she smirked. Stupid sponge bob theme song!

"And what is it I'm going to help you with?"

"The shopping trip, dear Edward," Alice smiled wickedly. "Our location for it is rather far. I need you to talk with Bella about taking a trip to The Mall of America."

"Bella is already in an enormous amount of trouble and flying to Minnesota wouldn't help that," I yelled. Was she trying to expose us? Charlie was already on the brink of shooting me.

"I already bought the plane tickets, Edward. We are going."

"NO," I growled.

"I guess I will just have to tell Bella about the little peep show that happened in the morgue," Alice smirked.

"They didn't do anything! They were just flirting!"

"I'm not talking about them, big boy." My eyes went wide after she said that. I really needed her to stop blocking me; I didn't think I could handle it one more second.

"Well, what was I supposed to do Alice? Just reach up and grab the girl's hand? She would have had a heart attack," I pleaded.

"Edward, Bella is going to be so mad when I tell her you let that lady see you naked before she got to!" Alice squealed!

"Please Alice, I know you wouldn't threaten something unless you had something to gain from it, especially seeing someone humiliated, so please don't do that."

"Let's just say if you don't convince her to go, your punishment would involve a strip-tease…And Bella wouldn't be the one dancing," Alice giggled. This would be bad…this would be very bad.

Alice jumped off of the Volvo and walked into the house. I slid in and sped down the driveway. Now I had to think of a way to tell Charlie it was just a joke and convince Bella to go to Minnesota! I never should have done that stupid prank!

When I stopped the car in front of Charlie's house I heard his very…aggressive thoughts. I never knew how carefully Charlie had watched horror movies because right now he had very detailed thoughts about an axe and my head. It's now or never.

Before I had a chance to knock on the front door, it swung open to show an aggravated Bella. She moved aside silently and motioned for me to come into the house. When I walked into the living room, Charlie stood up and I noticed he still had his gun attached to his hip, which was odd considering he didn't work today.

"Hello, Charlie," I smiled, trying to pretend like nothing had happened. His mind flashed to an image of locking Bella in a tower like Rapunzel. "How was your day?"

"Edward," Charlie growled, "would you care to explain why someone called and thought the two of you were married?"

"Typo?" I answered, trying to see if he would believe my lame excuse.

"Not a chance, Edward," Bella said, raising an eyebrow at me as she leaned against the wall. I turned back to Charlie, giving him a sheepish smile. I could rip apart a vampire without fear but the minute Bella got mad at me, I turned into a groveling teenage boy.

"I wrote it down on a contact sheet because there's only two weeks left until the wedding and I didn't want to have to change it later?" I really hoped that one would work.

"Then why did they call my house and not yours?" Charlie asked, looking at me with fire in his eyes. I gulped and tried to continue.

"I forgot the number to our house," I said, slapping my forehead. Bella grunted and moved to stand next to me.

"You don't forget anything, Edward," she countered. "Otherwise, you wouldn't have left your cell phone in my purse and had the hospital call it." I thought she was supposed to help me diffuse this situation!

"It was Emmett's idea. He put me up to it!" I said. My cell phone rang in Bella's pocket and she answered it in a matter of seconds. There was a pause and I could hear Alice talking on the phone.

"I know you can hear, Edward, and I have to tell you not to blame Emmett or else Rosalie is going to come after you," Alice laughed into the phone. I knew she had already seen Rosalie trying to attack me.

"Alice, it's so sweet of you to think of your brother but Charlie and I need to have a talk with him right now," Bella said before shutting the phone.

"It was a joke, Charlie," I said with remorse. How could I think he wouldn't get angry at me before I did this? "I am sorry for upsetting you both." I turned to Bella with pleading eyes and she nodded.

"Dad, it was all a mistake," Bella sighed. Charlie put away the gun in his mind but replaced it with a tazer and a can of pepper spray.

"Bella I don't think—" Charlie said before Bella cut him off.

"Alice just told me on the phone all about his joke. Be glad your sister is a tattle tale, Edward," Bella said, before turning and walking out of the room. I followed her into the kitchen and sat in the chair next to hers.

"Alice wanted me to talk to you about the shopping trip," I said with a small smile. She had been mad at me so what made Alice think I could convince her to fly off just to go to a mall? "She picked out what mall she wants to go to, so sometime in the very near future—as long as you agree—we will be going to The Mall of America!" I said, with fake enthusiasm.

"WE'RE GOING WHERE!" Bella screamed.

Author's Note;

My-Bella and E. C. Cullen bribed me for this chapter! And I bribed them back with two chapters, what I got for that is a Cookie League secret! So if you like this thank them if you don't like it blame them! LOL! E. C. Cullen edited this when I was trying to decide if I should post it. Bribery works wonders with me people! Happy reading!

Thank you,

Hellopants

P.S. I love you Cookie League fans!