As the dripping man made his way towards our table and sat down, a thousand different explanations ran through my head, and every single one got cancelled out. One night stand's boyfriend? No, too actually happy to see him. Old friend? Didn't exactly look like the type. Family? Hardly.
"Doc, I don't believe it! I've found you!" The man had a grin that stretched from ear to ear, and went to give Barney- wait for it- a hug, but looked at his wet hands and seemed to think better of it.
Barney was staring a hole right though him, and yet seemed to be somewhere else entirely, eyes unfocused. Finally, he spoke.
"Hey, Moist. How are you?" His voice broke slightly, causing my eyebrows to rise higher still. Moist? Fitting, if a little cruel.
"Meh, you know. It's been kinda slow without 'ya- after you disappeared the League sort of... clicked pause."
Barney nodded slowly, the same distant look still etched onto his features.
"Hey, do you wanna introduce us to your... friend, huh Barney?" Marshall put in, eyeing the man in the suit.
"What? Oh, um, this is Moist. Moist; Ted, Marshall, Robin, and Lily," Barney answered, gesturing to each of us in turn. We nodded, more that a little awkwardly. Moist smiled- he had one of those contagious smiles, that was slightly lopsided and took up almost half of his face.
Barney was still sort of not-there, so I decided to give a little time to compose himself- for whatever reasons- and attempted to strike up a conversation with... What was his name? Oh, right.
"So, Moist, you been in New York long?"
"Na, just a few weeks- actually I came here looking for the Doc," he gestured to Barney, "but I guess it's mission accomplished!" He gave a slight chuckle, and I smiled good naturally, although I wasn't quite sure what about. And what was up with this 'Doc' thing? Barney wasn't a doctor, he was... er... actually, he could have been a doctor for all I knew.
"Why were you looking for Barney?" This time it was Lily who spoke.
"Who's Barney?"
We exchanged confused glances, desperately trying- and miserably failing- to understand what was going on here. Moist opened his mouth to answer, but before he could Barney interrupted. His brows had knitted together to form a frown, and he now seemed guarded and on-edge.
"Uh, Moist, I think you've seen enough. Come on, we can talk privately." Somehow this didn't sound like an offer, and felt closer to a command, but Moist followed the blonde man instantaneously, almost as if it were a mundane, regular thing.
The two walked out of the bar, ignoring the strange looks thrown their way. After a few seconds, I couldn't stand the silence any longer.
"Guys, what was that?!"
"I don't know," Marshall hissed back, "I've never seen that dude before in my life!"
"Me neither..."
"Nope!" Lily and Robin added.
"But that was so weird..." I commented. "Did you see the look on Barney's face? It was like... actually, I've never seen that look before."
And that scared me.