And here's where things start going a bit dark...

Iris found herself frowning as she was lost in thought again on the balcony, wondering exactly when or how things had started deteriorating. Of course, she had expected that things would be bumpy. He still had yet to talk to her about his year on the run and she could sense that he was struggling with coping with the loss of his friends. They had lost Fred, Tonks and Lupin during the battle. He had lost others both during the battle and before that under the reign of the Death Eaters.

Attending all the funerals had taken a toll. Iris nearly lost it herself at Tonks and Lupin's. She broke down in tears as soon as she saw the coffin that contained her friend, thinking back to their talks in the parlor at Headquarters. Oliver stood rigid and silent next to her, the tears apparent in his eyes, though he fought off allowing them to fall. Iris couldn't even speak at Fred's, only managing to hug everyone in the family, including Percy who she had only gotten to know slightly before she disappeared. The look of despair in George's face had done her in, though by the end she had managed to recover enough to tell him to stop by and visit often once she and Oliver had returned to London. Oliver was stoic.

Iris supposed that was about the time he had started to close himself off. After the fourth funeral, he was so torn up that a concerned Iris and Harry told him no one would hold it against him if he wanted to miss a few. But Oliver rather vehemently insisted that he was going to all of them. And he did, with Iris standing at his side, becoming increasingly more worried as he became more and more distant.

By the time they had shown up to help with the construction at Hogwarts, he was barely speaking to her, choosing instead to throw himself into the work. It had lasted all the way through to their last day there.

A few weeks prior…

Iris stood in the courtyard of Hogwarts, the setting sun falling quickly behind the horizon.

"I think here would make a fine place for the memorial," McGonagall said from slightly behind her. Iris nodded. She took a deep breath and stood, lifting her hands. A small crowd of those who had helped with the restoration stood surrounding them. They had pretty much finished. Except for this one last piece. "Are you sure about this?" the professor asked Iris. She nodded silently, the tears starting to fall.

"It's the least I can do since…," she stopped, unable to continue or look at anyone. Minerva took a deep breath and reached out, squeezing Iris' shoulder. She then stepped back. Once again, Iris felt the power flow throughout her. She took a deep breath and concentrated it as it flowed to her hands and out. The stones piled in front of her began assembling themselves into a curved wall. The front smoothed out to a polished surface. Iris then swept her right hand from one side to the other, as names and faces appeared. All 50 so of them. She then concentrated on a spot on the ground in front, where a lone flame lit. She swallowed more tears as she created a bench in front of it. Finally looking at a bare spot in the middle of the wall, she took a deep breath and raised her hand a final time, an inscription appearing that read "To those we lost… may they never be forgotten." She gasped as she dropped her hand and stepped back, looking at her work. Her eyes rested on Tonk and Lupin, their faces smiling, then moved to Fred. She took a shaky breath, her emotions beginning to overwhelm her slightly. Minerva stepped up to her side and put her arm around her shoulder. Iris looked over at her as the older woman pulled her into a hug, her own face wet with tears.

"It's beautiful," she whispered. Iris nodded, still unable to speak. Minerva let go of her and turned to face the group. Iris looked out, finding Oliver. He briefly met her eyes, but then looked away, focusing on the wall.

"Thank you everyone for your help this summer. I believe that we have now finished," she said. "This would not have been possibly without each of you and your hard work. Always look at Hogwarts with pride… and may we hold dear to memory of those who gave their lives to protect it and to protect the wizarding world." They all nodded. McGonagall walked off to the castle and a few followed her. They would all return to wherever they planned to go the next day. Iris started to step towards Oliver, but he turned and walked off quickly. She stopped, frowning slightly. She had hoped to speak with him, since they hadn't had much time alone since they came back from his parents' house. But they were moving back into his London flat tomorrow, so they would have time. Iris turned and looked back at the wall as others lingered, but eventually made their way to the castle. She walked over and sat down on the bench, looking up at the wall. She took a deep breath, allowing the tears to continue silently falling.

"It is something," a voice said from behind her. Iris looked over and saw Percy, looking up at the wall. He looked over at Iris, then walked over and sat next to her on the bench. She looked back at the wall and nodded.

"It'll never age or wear in the weather," she said. "And that flame will never go out." Percy nodded. "I'm surprised the minister let you away from the office." He shrugged.

"I convinced him that someone needed to oversee the restoration work here. I've been owling him reports every other day or so," he said. He glanced over at her. "How are you holding up?" She shrugged.

"As best as one can, I suppose," she said softly. Percy was silent and she found Tonks and Lupin again. "I just… I keep thinking if I had gotten here sooner, I could have… I could have saved them. That maybe we wouldn't have needed this wall." Her voice cracked as she tried to hold back tears. Percy looked up, finding Fred.

"You couldn't save them all, Iris. No one thinks that. They are gone because of Voldemort and the Death Eaters. Not because you couldn't get here sooner," he said softly. "You did all you could, and even that was a lot. You kept many more names from going up on that wall."

Iris was silent as she kept staring.

"I wish we hadn't had to lose them, though," she said. Percy looked over at her, still getting used to seeing her as Iris - not Lauren. "Before, I always looked forward to the day when I could be free. When I didn't need to hide who I was or what I could do. When I didn't have to run or look over my shoulder. But not at this price."

Percy thought for a moment before responding. He was still getting to know Iris. He hadn't known her like the others - they all had known who she was from the beginning, though they didn't know her full story until she had to disappear. But he knew that she had been close to Tonks and Lupin. Even Fred.

"They sacrificed themselves for something we all believed in very strongly. To protect muggleborns and take down Voldemort. They would gladly do it again," he said. She nodded.

"I know… still doesn't make losing them any easier," she responded. Percy took a deep breath.

"That I can agree with," he said. Iris looked over at him.

"It'll get easier with time," she said.

"Did it when you lost Lily?" he asked.

"There's always a piece of me… missing. But I learned to manage it," she said truthfully. Percy nodded and looked back up at Fred's name.

"I guess that helps…," he said. Iris looked over to the castle's entrance, seeing Oliver talking with McGonagall. He kept glancing over at the wall, but still not meeting Iris' eyes. Her frown returned. Percy sensed her change in demeanor and looked at her, then followed her line of sight.

"How's he doing?" he asked.

"Puts on a good face, but I can tell what he's feeling. He's barely holding it together," she said honestly. "It worries me."

"He's not talking about it, is he?" Percy asked, looking back at Iris.

"No," she said, pulling her eyes from Oliver.

"Perhaps it's just… being here. I'm sure it'll get better when you get back to London," he offered.

"I hope so," she said with a sigh. "I'm not too keen on this… whatever this is. It seems that the more time that passes, the more closed-off he is. Has he spoken with you?" Percy shook his head.

"Not much. Not about the battle or his time away, that is. He's been getting owls from the Quidditch League though. They are hoping to start rebuilding quickly and want him on board," he said. Iris nodded, looking down at her feet. She laughed softly.

"Of course he would be able to talk about Quidditch," she said wryly. She looked back up at Oliver. "I couldn't save them… but I can still save him." Percy looked over at Oliver.

"Maybe… or he might just need to save himself," he responded. He and Iris met each other's eyes.

"Maybe…"

Tears threaten to spill down her pale cheeks as Iris put the book aside, unable to force herself to focus on it. She instead studied the people on the street below, watching a large feather plume bounce down the street on the head of a rather plump woman who was rushing off to somewhere. Iris had spent so much of her time worried about Oliver that she had barely addressed her own wounds.

Physically, she was fine. She no longer struggled with anxiety and her body and mind had settled into a sort of calmness in terms of her gifts. Even though Harry had been recruited by Shacklebolt for the auror department, the level of danger was much lower than before and Iris' connection to him was manageable.

But she couldn't help but feel lost. She had spent a year in a coma, quite nearly dead to the world. While everywhere else, life had continued. Her friends and family had faced so much. She had been frozen in time while the world continued on around her. She wasn't sure where to go or what to do. What purpose did her life have now? She was suddenly faced with a freedom she had only dreamed of and she didn't know what to do with it. But that seemed to pale in comparison to her fear for Oliver. She knew from experience that it would consume him if he didn't open up. And she couldn't figure out how to get him to talk to her. That bothered her more than her restlessness. Oliver had been a her rock during her personal turmoil. How did she live without him there?

So, it was her connection to Oliver that was wearing on her lately. She could feel his melancholy, guilt, sorrow and anger in steady waves - even when he had a smile plastered on his face. Once they had arrived back in the flat, he had at least put effort into trying to get back to some sort of normal life. At the very least to try and quell whatever concerns others brought up to him. George had taken to stopping by often for dinner so he would talk and laugh. But he couldn't fool Iris. She had attempted to broach the topic several times, but always, he would smile, kiss her on the forehead and tell her he was fine. Then suggest another place for her to go check out in order to enjoy her newfound freedom.

He didn't want to talk about himself - unless it was related to Quidditch. He didn't want to talk about her. A lingering guilt seemed to follow her, tainting even the joy of finally being able to go out into the world as herself. Her freedom had come with too high a cost in Iris' mind, and every day she wished that she had just woken up earlier. That she had got there sooner. Maybe Tonks and the others would still be there.

"You know it's not your fault. No one blames you," a voice said from behind. Iris looked over, seeing Harry in the open doorway. She smiled sadly. He could still sometimes sense her thoughts.

"I know, but I can't help it," she said. "I could have done so much more." He walked over and sat in the other chair.

"Or maybe you wouldn't have. There's no way to know, Iris," he said. She nodded and looked back down to the street.

"I can't help but think I could have done something," she said. "At the very least you lot wouldn't have been worried about me. Or I could have helped… done something other than sleep." She brought herself to look at her nephew. His wounds had long healed and working with the Ministry was a good move in terms of getting him to focus on something for the future. But like herself and Oliver, Harry had his demons to battle as well.

"But you weren't asleep. You were in a coma," Harry said. "There's a difference." She nodded.

"How are you? I haven't seen much of you since we got back," she said, shifting the focus from herself.

"I'm alright," he said. "A bit tired. Work keeps me busy between tracking down Death Eaters and training new recruits. Some days I think they'd have us working 24/7 if we'd let them."

"Still short are they?" Iris asked, furrowing her brow in concern. Harry nodded slowly.

"They lost a fair amount in the purge last year," he said. "But we're doing the best we can. We could use someone like you, if you ever decide to go back to work." Iris laughed softly.

"Maybe. Though to be honest, I'm still not sure what I want to do with the rest of my life. I had assumed… well… I'm not sure what I had assumed," she said, trailing off as her thoughts returned to Oliver.

"He'll come around," Harry said, sensing what she was thinking. Iris nodded slowly.

"Some days I do wonder," she said. "We were… we used to be so open with each other. And now I feel like there's a wall there. I'm not sure how to break it down."

"You can't. You just have to wait for him to make that move," Harry replied. "You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved."

"When did you get so wise?" Iris quipped. Harry smiled.

"Did a lot of growing up over the last year," he said, sadly. Iris looked back down to the street.

"I suppose I'll just keep doing what I'm doing. Being here. Letting him know that I'm here for him when he's ready," she said. "It's about all I can do."

"It's the best thing you can do," he said. He then abruptly stood and walked back around to the door. "Hate to rush off, but I've got to check into the office." Iris looked up at him and nodded.

"Try not to get killed today," she joked lightly. Harry laughed.

"That's the last thing you need to worry about," he said before turning and leaving. Iris looked back out to the street, once again alone with her thoughts.

"He'll come around. He's got to," she murmured to herself.