--#1--

The first time I heard him sing changed everything.

We ended up on the same audition for an independent movie without knowing that the other would be there. I didn't know they were searching singers too. Fuck! I didn't even know he could sing at all since back then we weren't exactly best mate.

"I saw you dancing. You're good" The anonymous SMS arrived by the time I was back home and it wasn't hard to figure out who was the mysterious sender since there was just another person at the audition with my phone number.

Figuring out why he didn't just sign it with his name was a little more complicated.

"I heard you singing. You're good"

-Hide sender-

-Send-

You thought you hoped that after a while the smell would disappear. You were wrong.

After the first two hours of waiting for someone who could and would at least tell us if he was still alive, I lost track of the time.

He has to be still alive though. I'm quite certain that if he wasn't I'd know somehow.

On the ride to the hospital I made sure Bristol was still like I remembered since how could it be the same city without Tony Stonem in it?!

Looking around me one last time I check if things were in some way different than before. They weren't. He couldn't be dead then. ()

Sid and I were the only ones left since the others all went home at one point or another during the night. We promised to let them know if something came up.

The fact that I stayed here was followed respectively by confused (Anwar's & Chris'), curious (Jal's) and accusing (Michelle's) glances. Sid's long stare is a mix of the three. Probably he though that, in order to prove what a great friend he is, he has to stay here the longest. I guess I'm spoiling his noble act of self-sacrifice with my stamina. Like I care.

The sound of an opening door catch my attention.

Tony's parents are standing there hugging each other and crying. Next to them, Effie is paler and sadder than usual.

What the?!…fuck!…no no no…

"He's not d…" Tony's mom starts. Her voice is hoarse from the crying and she has to take many deep breaths before she's able to talk again "He's not..he's…he's in coma"

Her eyes keep moving from me to Sid constantly. Suddenly she stops and stares thoughtfully at us. I don't know what she found in our faces but she must have saw something since her voice, when she began to speak again, came out a little stronger and surer while her posture was a little straighter "The doctors say it's normal in this situation and that he's going to be fine. Don't worry guys he'll wake up. He'll be okay. You really should go home now and rest. You can pass by tomorrow if you want. Hearing your voices would probably be good for him"

There's something wrong about her but I can't quite place what it is. I try to look more closely at her face and it's just a flash, but I know.

She's lying.

"…and I'm really, really sorry for being a slut ok?!" I sat back again feeling even worse than before. After a while the buzz of my phone put me out from my reverie.

"You're not a slut. It wasn't your fault" –Unknown sender-

"…are you coming Maxxie?" I realize just now that Sid was talking to me but it doesn't really matter, not to me, not right now.

"Yeah….in a moment. You can go in the meantime Sid. I…I just have to do something" Not waiting for his answer I move to Effie "Can I talk to you?...Mrs Stonem, it's a problem if I speak to Effie before I go?!" She turns to me after hearing her name and before I start to speak again a sparkle in her eyes let me know she understood what I meant.

She knows what I'm really asking for.

"Honey?!"

She nods absently at her parents walking toward one corner of the room. I follow her.

We sat there for a while without talking or looking at each other and I know she was expecting me to ask a lot of question about what was really going on with Tony since it was the reason I wanted to talk to her in the first place. But, instead, I keep quiet.
There are so many things I'd like to know about him, things she probably can explain better than everyone else. Yet, in the end, I chose to not talk.

I'm so fucking scared that if I do, I'll ask her the only question I'm pretty sure I don't want an answer to.

"They say his brain could be badly damaged from the accident and that the longer he's in coma the fewer are his possibilities to survive"

Maybe there was more than one question that shouldn't have been asked.