Peeta pov
I pace in my room. Thinking about everything. When we got back from our meeting, we went to dinner. Neither of us ate, we just sat in silence. Afterwards, Haymitch pulled me aside. "Boy, we need to talk,"he said.
He leads me to the bar and takes a seat. I sit next to him as he pours me a drink. He takes a drink of his and then sighs. "I was told of your decision."
I scoff,"decision."
"You made the right choice. It's better that you two stick together. I don't trust those filthy perverts. They're all in cahoots with Snow. Each one pays millions for the games. You may not feel it, but you're lucky."
"What do you mean lucky? Haymitch, I'm being forced to rape the girl I've been in love with since I was 5!"
"Better you than any of them. Those people are pigs. And they'll do anything they desire. Much worse than you. They would go beyond rape. Borderline dehumanization. You don't want that, Peeta. For her sake. For your sake. I wouldn't wish that on any of you."
"And they can't touch us at all?"I say.
"As long as you perform, they can't lay a finger on you."
I nod and take a sip of the liquid he poured for me. It burns going down my throat, but I suck it up.
"Haymitch, have you ever-" I pause and he nods.
"After I first won. I was still young. They sold me for a while, until I started drinking. I would show up drunk which made the patrons unhappy. I paid for it but I didn't stop. Eventually Snow got the message and he stopped sending me. But my family paid for that."
We sit in silence.
I take in his words. And I remind myself why we chose what we chose. To save Prim. To save my family. To save Katniss.
"We're staying in the capitol for a week. Tomorrow you have a prep day, and the next you start your first performance."
I feel sick to my stomach. They're already having us prepare for it.
"I have something for you,"he says pulling out a small case. "Portia went through a lot of trouble to get these."
I open the case to find it filled with little white pills.
"What are these?"
"It will make you aroused, in case you have trouble performing. Katniss will be given the same. We can't risk you not being able to get it up."
I gulp looking at the pills.
I'm disgusted and thankful at the same time. I know Haymitch is just trying to look out for us. And I'm thankful for that. He was the one who talked Snow into keeping us together instead of separating us.
"Now for the hard part of my job... I've been asked to talk to you about some things. Peeta you're 18 so I assume you know how sex works-"
"Oh my God, Haymitch are you giving me a sex talk?"
"I don't want to do this anymore than you, but I have to."
"Oh God,"I sigh as I sink into my chair.
"Peeta are you a virgin?"
I'm silent.
"I'm going to take that as a yes. Well, you're a guy so I'm going to assume that you know about oral sex, fingering, and anal-"
"Haymitch, can I stop you right there,"I say blushing deeply,"I know about sex. I just haven't done it yet. I don't need you to go into detail about how to eat some out."
"Alright, then you know what a clitoris is then."
"A what?"
Haymitch starts to laugh. "It's a bundle on nerves at the tip of the vagina. You'll want to be sure to hit it a lot if you want her to have a good time."
I take another drink. I see why Haymitch drinks this all the time. It makes times like this easier.
"As far as protection, you don't have to worry about a condom because they're giving her a shot that lasts for six months."
"I can't believe we're having this conversation."I groan.
"Remember not ever girl orgasms-"
"Stop! I can't do this!" I say standing up.
Haymitch starts to chuckle but I just continue to my room. When I turn the corner I slam into something small and hard. Katniss groans in pain. I help her up from the floor and apologize.
"Running from the sex talk?" She asks.
I nod,"you?"
"As much as I love watching Effie fluster and turn as red as her wig over words like penis and erect, I couldn't take much."
She reddens at the word. So pure.
"Nothing compared to Haymitch talking about orgasms and oral sex."
"At least he had the decency to get you alcohol."
"How about I steel a bottle of that interesting Carmel colored liquid and we go back to my room."I say.
"I'd like that,"she says.
So I walk back to the bar where Haymitch still sits and take the bottle.
"Have fun,"he says.
When I get into the room, Katniss is already laying on my bed. I hand her the bottle and she takes a swig. She coughs and sets it aside. I take it and take a swig too. She takes it back and tries again.
"How can Haymitch drink this? It's disgusting."
I sit down next to her and take her hand.
"Katniss,"I say looking into her eyes,"I just want you to know that I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" She asks.
"If I wouldn't have said that I was in love with you, we wouldn't be in this situation."
"But we both wouldn't be here."she says caressing my face. I lean in and kiss her lips. Both of our lips taste like alcohol. She gets up on her knees and holds onto my face as she kisses me. I fall back on my forearms as she climbs on top of me straddling my side.
She kisses my jaw and I move my hands to grab onto her hips.
Her hands move into my hair as she sucks onto my lips. My pants become tighter as she moves against me.
"Stop." I say pulling away from her.
"What?" She asks.
"Katniss, I can't."
"Peeta,"she starts but I caress her chin.
"I want to Katniss, but I want the first real time to be because you love me. Not because you're hiding from something."
She sighs but I know she understands.
"I guess I'll just go then." She stands up but I grab her wrist.
"Please don't."
She nods and then curls up with me. Tomorrow the horror starts, but tonight we can relax. Just the two of us. As innocent as one can be after the games.
Katniss pov
I wake up curled up next to Peeta. Haymitch screams from the other side of the door. I sit up groaning, my head hurting. Peeta groans too, rolling over.
"Hurry up, your prep teams are here."
I stand up and walk out of the room. "Hurry up, sweetheart." Haymitch says. I roll my eyes and go to my room. My prep team is already in there. As soon as I walk in they fluster over me.
Octavia strips me and sits me down on a chair. They pour a weird liquid on my skin. It burns for a second then it cools and it smells like cucumbers. Fresh. Then they start waxing every inch of my skin.
After they poor a green lotion onto my skin that smells like mint. It feels nice.
"We want you to be as relaxed as possible,"Flavius says as he leans the chair back and massages conditioner into my hair. It feels nice. Cinna walks in and I smile at him.
Except he doesn't look too happy.
"What is it?" I ask.
"There's been a change of plans. Today is no longer a whole relax day. There's going to be a presentation. An auction."
"An auction?"
"Yes,"he sighs,"tonight you and Peeta will be paraded in front of patrons and bided on."
My stomach feels like it's been tied in knots.
He sends the others away for a moment. Cinna takes both of my hands and says,"be strong. Remember I'm still counting on you girl on fire."
He does my makeup in dark Smokey eyes. Then shows me what I'll be wearing. I gasp when I see it. It's a lace body suit with garters and ribbons. It leaves little to imagination and I cringe when I remember that I'll be wearing it.
He helps me into it and I look at myself in the mirror. My hair is in big crazy waves. He covers me in a silk black robe.
Right as I step out of the room, Peeta is walking down the hall. He is dressed in a robe like mine and black boxers.
We look at each other silently. Then Peeta reaches out to grab my hands and we walk in silence. Haymitch meets us but he doesn't say anything. That seems to be the theme for today. Silence.
We're rushed to the car and into the the same stage that we've been pushed on, time after time.
Only this time we walk out exposed to hundreds of perverts who want to buy us. I hold his hand tightly and close my eyes. Two avoxes walk up to us and rip away our robes. The only thing hiding us.
It doesn't go by fast enough. By the time it's over we have a line up for the week. And when the patron who is going to see us loose our virginity, comes up to greet us I feel like I'm going to be sick.
I throw on the way to the tribute center.
I can't do this.