Stars fill the sky

Jacks POV

"Ianto." Where is he? Skulking in the basement. What else is he hiding? I've half a mind to go after him. But I wait. I want to see him come to me, prove he wants me. Because I'm sick of being the predator. He waits for me, but he doesn't come to me.

I think of what I'm in for. Think of those alabaster flanks. But an image of him and Tosh invades. Her rocking. Him inside. My Tosh. My Ianto. My Tosh who wouldn't let me touch her. Can't touch me. My Ianto. Who lets me touch him, but won't kiss, won't stay. Will it always be like this? Everyone I care about, detached and disconnected. Is this part of my curse?

I'm waiting for him in the antechamber by the cog door. He looks up at me earnest and eager. Always up for it. Always wants me. I remember the first time I used that earnest face. First time I made him worship at my shrine.

But maybe that worship is over. That kiss I saw. She kissed his cheek, he touched her shoulder. Little gestures tender and sweet. I should be happy for them. But the thought of what I might have lost twists my smile.

"Sir, what's the matter? Is something wrong?" Still Sir. Keeps me distant.

But I don't do distant. I push him to the wall. Clothes are in the way. I want to feel him close. Skin to skin. I need him now. Need him in me. Need me in him. United, fused.

Fabric rips and muscles clench. I feel his reaction, feel his need. And I want the thing he won't give. The thing I'm sure he gives her. I want to feel his desire, lip to lip.

I smell his skin. Run my tongue along his ear, tasting him. But it's not enough. I want his mouth on mine. I lean in, but he turns away. Easily evades me. Ready to refuse. Always ready to turn me down. Always the chase, never the capture.

"Why won't you kiss me Ianto?" I'm shocked by how pathetic I sound. Disturbed by what he's done to me. I don't need this. I don't need him. I can have anyone.

"Not that." he says and reaches down to draw my attention away.

But that won't mean anything without the kiss. The allure of the forbidden devours.

I say anything to get it, "What's the problem Ianto? I'm very good." Dodge left. "Are you scared I'm too good?" Dodge right. "Scared you'll see stars?" And all I see are lips. His lips, soft and pink. Tormenting me.

"Come on Ianto. Just one." I'm relentless, obsessive. "It won't hurt." But it hurts me. Physical pain drawing my lips to his. But he drops to his knees and those tormenting lips are gone

And he finds another way to torment me. At least he's found a use for that treacherous mouth.

And suddenly the kiss doesn't seem that important. Fading away with the night. Touching, licking, swirling, biting. He knows the moves. And I'm lost. Lost in his warmth. I look down and see that beautiful face. Drawing me in, driving me on. Sweet face, blue eyes avoiding mine, but fervently focusing on my pleasure.

Sweet Ianto always focused on my pleasure. Little gestures; clean sheets, clothes laid out, warm coffee in the morning, cold scotch at night. Caring for me, unasked. Does he do that for her? Then I remember the biscuits he gives her. The biscuits he gives no one else. Red light flashes. Hot and vicious. That pleasure's for me. "Ianto."

I find myself thrusting, taking, pushing. But he meets me. Sweet boy, soiled. Look what I've done to him. Moving, grating, thrust till he sees stars, push till I can push no more. Hold his head. Stop him leaving. See what I've done to him. Debased, on his knees, pulling me towards him, as I fuck his face. And it's more than I can handle, more than he can take. Hear him gag on my guilt as it shoots down his throat.

He's on his knees, coughing. I did that. Turned devotion into disgrace.

"I'm sorry. So sorry." I rub his back. Nuzzle against him. I'm a child denied a sweet, having a tantrum. I punished him for my own weakness.

"One little kiss Ianto. Why is that so hard?" Why is this so hard? Why do I do this to him? Why does he do this to me?

But I see how I've corrupted him. Because he's still hard, his eyes are misty with desire. He's enjoyed the punishment. He'd be better with her. Babes in the woods.

All I've done is stained his soul. But a kiss would make it better, make it nice, make him pure again.

"One little kiss and I'll take care of that." Tempting him away from the darkness. "One little kiss."

But when I reach for his innocence, he turns away.

"If that's all I'm worth to you Ianto, take care of yourself." Fire stains my head. Heats my face. I leave him. Hear him call my name. But I don't go far. Can't go far. Feel myself drawn back. What has he done to me? Rage fills me and I'm back for more.

"I'll give you a reason to kiss me then." I roll him over and prepare him for my fury. Lift his leg to my shoulder and drive it home. Fuck his receptive arse. Make him moan. Make him scream. He wants it, doesn't he? Wants me. Not her. She can't do this. Pounding and straining. Deeper and darker. She can't do this.

"You like that, don't you Ianto?" Begging him to want it like I want it.

"Like me inside you?" Need it inside him.

"Does it feel good?" Need his desire. "Do you like my dick?" Need his fire. "You like dick, don't you?" Not her, just me. "You love my dick. Do you love it inside you?"

Capturing his confirmation. Taking his tribute. Beating his beat. Knowing he needs me. There's one more thing to seal the day.

But he pushes me back. He's denied me thrice. Makes me beg. Closes his eyes and turns away.

"You let her kiss you." And it's said. He knows I care. Knows I know. Sees my wound. But blue eyes opened wide, close again, he's gone again. And there's nothing left but to ride out my passion, bring him with me. Even if it's only physical release.

But I can't do it, can't finish it. I need his kiss. Need to feel him with my mouth. And there's nothing left, so I move my teeth and tongue on his shoulder. Devour this small bit of flesh. Sweet substitute. Taste his skin. Draw him in and mark him as mine. Hear his cry.

But I can't release the flavour until I've driven my release. But it's coming swirling and sure. And he's clenching around me, drawing me to the end. Pulling me tight. Bursting inside him. Stars fill the sky.

And I look down on him. His eyes screwed tightly shut. Can't even look at me. See what I've done. Now it's over, blue eyes open and look at me. Sees me. But who did he see when his eyes were closed? And I want to know. Need to know. "Whose face did you see when you came?" The mark on his shoulder is angry and red. It couldn't be me.

Authors Note: If you didn't read the intro this story was a collaboration with Quiet Time and is based on a scene in Quiet Time's Breaking my Heart. If you liked this scene read her story to give you some background. It's brilliant. For a link check out my favourites.