A/N: Yo! Back with Chapter 2. By the way, all reviews will be replied to right in the chapter at the bottom of the page!

Regular = narrative/dialogue

"Italics" = thoughts/emphasis

"Bolded" = other

oOo = POV change

ALSO! To avoid confusion in this story, Selim in the Manga (aka Pride) will always be referred to as Pride whereas Selim in the anime will always be referred to as Selim. Basically, the prick is Pride and the boring guy is Selim :D This holds true unless situation calls for the characters to be called something else (aka Pride is taking to his Mrs. Bradley, who only knows him as Selim).

BTW, would it be easier to state who's POV each section is from at every POV change? It's generally back-and-forth between Selim and Pride, taking turns, but if it's confusing, let me know J

OTHER: Still screwing with the plotline! Armstrong here doesn't know that Pride is Pride… but then again, I don't think they ever fought/revealed that to him in the actual anime/manga. Ah, well. Truth has still left me, guys D:

How to Survive a Month with Pride

Day 1 - Tuesday

TIP 2 - Always keep in mind the lighting. If you want to keep Pride happy, regulate the lights and keep them mediocre at all times. When in danger, smash all the lights and/or blind everybody with sparkles. Being an Armstrong may help in both regards.

It ended up taking an entire day to get to the school. Pride could've sworn that walking by himself would've taken less time, but unfortunately humans still found ten-year-old royal children walking to school by themselves suspicious. For all that Homunculi cared, eating ten-year-old royal children while they were walking to school by themselves was not much out of the ordinary.

He walked out of the car with two servants holding all his luggage behind him. It wasn't really a lot, and he didn't really need any of the material, but it was mandatory for his disguise. As well-intentioned as the intriguing Mrs. Bradley might be, Pride had absolutely no use for her collection of multi-colored Hello-Kitty nightcaps.

"Soccer," sighed Kimblee for the last time, followed by a rather violent explosion-like sound that seemed to come from his stomach. Pride ignored him, but he was seriously considering laxatives to rid himself of this nuisance.

If… well, if he would actually fit out that way, Pride considered. He immediately scrapped the idea; great, human idiocy was rubbing off on him.

"Wow! This school looks amazing!" Pride gushed in his pseudo-innocent voice as he surveyed the area. There was too many empty fields of grass, way too many flowers, and both the school and campus were painted blinding white from head to foot. The guard-servants chuckled at him.

"Well, it's a pretty safe place here, too," said the guard, tipping his hat to the child. "There's going to be nobody here except us, a trustworthy staff and one other royal student!"

Pride beamed and trotted on ahead. The staff members greeted him and gave him a lengthy tour, while he had already sent his shadows to scout the entire area. The was nothing too unbearable, although he did have issues with the heavy lighting. When nobody was around, Pride swallowed the gaudy chandeliers in the hallways and in his bedroom, leaving only the a few lamps. Strangely enough, he heard a crash echo through his mind and thought he could almost see the chandeliers nailing Kimblee on the head.

oOo

"Thank you for showing me around," Selim said politely, bowing to the tour guide. His guards nodded and lead Selim to his room, which was in the last door in the left-wing hall.

The place was enormous and extravagant - a little bit overdone, Selim had to admit - but an overall nice place. He wouldn't mind staying here for a while. His guards opened the double-doors to his dorm, where all of his possessions were already assembled.

Selim picked up father's treasure box, which was set in the corner of the room, and put it on the shelf next to his bed. The entire place was lavishly decorated with paintings, statues, and flowers at the windowsill, and it was at least three times as big as his room at home (which was quite formidable, seeing that his room at home was about 200 square feet in length and width). In the center of the room was a long staircase that spiraled upwards to the bathrooms, which was equally as large; the bathtub looked like a miniature lake, complete with a fountain statue in the center. In fact, the only thing that didn't seem overdone in his room was the lighting; there was only one tall, lonely lamp in the entire whole area.

There was also another bed, shelf, and closet on the other side of the room. Selim suspected that it was for the other student, who wasn't here at the moment.

He looked outside; it was already in the afternoon. Selim was told that this room had a nice view of the school grounds and sunflower garden, but at the moment, the sun was going directly into his face and blinding him from seeing anything. He shut the curtains.

Sighing, Selim and slumped into a plush leather couch. He picked one of the leaflets that the school had given him and started to read it out of mere curiosity.

"Truth's Gate Elementary School - LUNCH MENU - over 9000 choices!"

For the first time, Selim realized how hungry he was; he hadn't eaten anything since the car ride. He flipped open the book and was met with over nine-thousand dishes to choose from. In case it wasn't easy enough to understand the font size 36 dish titles and descriptions, there was also a huge picture next to every choice.

After flipping through many pages, Selim decided to get a CHEF'S SPECIALTY: CLAM CHOWDER SOUP with CHEF'S SPECIALTY: WHOLE-WHEAT BREAD (everything in the menu was 'chef's specialty'; he wanted to meet this chef one day). He picked up the telephone on his desk and dialed '9000' to contact the school's kitchen.

"Hello?" Selim said into the phone. "Um… yes, I'd like to - huh?" (pause) "Oh, no… I mean, could I have-?" (pause) "Chef's specialty today? But… isn't everything…?" (pause) "N-no, I don't think I can finish that much, nine-thousand is a bit… uhm…" (pause, pause) "uh-huh…" (pause) "Yes, could I just have dish 3470 and appetizer 13?"

There was a buzz. "I hope they got my order," Selim thought anxiously, also hoping that their offer of every meal in the menu was just a joke.

Just then, there was the sound of footsteps. Selim perked up; outside the door, he could hear voices talking - one of them sounded like a child.

"Yes, yes, thank you!" came the energetic voice from outside. It sounded strangely familiar. "I can go in by myself. Okay, no problem!"

Selim jumped to his feet. The door slowly opened, and a young student, just about his age, walked in.

"Hello, my name is Selim Bradley," he greeted, bowing. "It's nice to…"

He looked up at the boy, getting a good look at his face for the first time. "…nice to…"

The boy was staring at him, looking dumbfounded. Selim trailed off, nonplussed. This student… this student looked exactly like him!

"…m-meet… you?"

oOo

He didn't just look like him. This kid looked precisely like him, down to every single lock of hair. How did he miss this guy before?

Pride caught himself gaping and closed his mouth. He glared at the child, thinning his lips. No, he couldn't let some idiotic doppelganger surprise him. This was a trick.

…and first of all, he never had that stupid expression on his face like that 'Selim Bradley' did.

Pride shut the door behind him.

"Who are you?" he demanded, dropping the whole child act. If someone thought they could deceive him by simply making a copy image of his container, they had to think again. Pride immediately released his shadows, which pooled around his feet in case he needed them.

"I-I'm Selim Bradley, like I said," stuttered the boy, who was backing away from him.

"No, you're not." Pride stepped closer to 'Selim', glaring at him. And by glaring, it was more like he was trying to mentally burn holes into the boy's forehead. "I'll ask one more time. Who are you?"

"I'm not lying!" the copy cried. Pride stared at him coldly; he sent a shadow forward and wrapped it around his leg, to which Selim screamed at and tried to pull away from.

"Your efforts are futile, human," Pride spat, his metallic voice ringing in the enclosed room. He could tell, at the very least, that this copy was human through his smell. Selim started crying. "And don't you do that in my container's image!" he threatened, disgusted by the tears.

Selim pressed his lips together and sniffled, looking petrified. Pride was about to hit him when the boy suddenly gasped and pointed at him.

"I… are you…?" he whispered frightfully. Pride raised his eyebrow. "…you're my evil twin brother!"

…

Pride slapped Selim across the face with his shadow. ("Oww….")

"I am not your brother," Pride hissed, and he scratched Selim along his cheek just to scare him into telling the truth. "I am Pride, the first and strongest of all the Homunculus. You, on the other hand, are about to become nothing if you don't tell me what you are… Selim Bradley, was it?"

Selim hiccupped and didn't reply. He decided that it was best to kill him then and there. It would probably take a lot of explaining, but this Selim Bradley copy… well, who even cared about a Selim Bradley copy? He was Selim Bradley… or at least that's what people thought he was.

Selim started sobbing and struggling with the shadow that bound him when he realized that the spikes of darkness were pointing at him. Hopeless. Pride was about to stab him when Selim suddenly flailed his arm, knocking over the only lamp in the room.

It came crashing down and the room went completely dark.

oOo

Selim gasped when the shadows suddenly released him. The creepy eyes and mouths that Pride was using disappeared, leaving the outline of a relatively-normal boy. Selim shuddered and curled up into fetal position, repressing his sobs, but the shadows didn't come for him again.

He peeked over his knees. Pride was still standing there… or he thought so, at least. It was dark, so he could barely see anything. Selim thought Pride was looking at something. It was… the window curtains.

"W-wait," Selim stuttered, realizing something. "You… you can't use your powers in the dark?"

There was no answer. Pride looked at him, then at the window curtains. He suddenly dashed to the window.

"He wants the light from outside." Selim reacted, wobbling to his feet before chasing him. They ran at almost the exact same pace, with Pride about a yard in front of Selim.

"Useless," he heard Pride say to him when they drew closer and closer to the window. In a desperate attempt to stop him, Selim leaped and threw himself at the copy.

He landed face-flat on the floor. Nothing…

…well, actually. Selim sniffed and sat up, holding up something that he had grabbed from Pride curiously. It was hard to make out in the darkness, but it felt like… shorts?

…um….

"I'm sorry!" he apologized, gripping on tightly to the pair of pants. "Ooph!"

Selim was kicked in the face, and before he knew it, Pride was stomping his foot on his head.

"Ow, ow!" he cried, shielding his head from Pride's shoe. Selim pushed the boy on the floor and away, but he only crawled back and grabbed his tie.

"You… are dead," Pride whispered. He started choking him with his tie. Selim, gagging, grabbed Pride's hair and yanked on it until he let go and instead started punching him.

"Why are you trying to kill me?" wailed Selim, as he started blocking himself with Pride's pair of shorts.

"Stop crying into my clothing!"

Pride pinned Selim onto the ground and started wrestling him and kneeing him in the stomach.

"You know, from this angle, this does not look right at all," said Kimblee.

oOo

Meanwhile, somewhere in the maintenance room….

"Looks like the lights in the students' dormitory has been taken out!" said a staff member, looking at the black-and-white camera monitor.

"Hm…." said another. "I swore I changed that yesterday. Oh, well. Use the back-up lighting!"

"Okie-doke." The man pulled the lever on the back-up lighting. "It's a bit strong, but better than no light, yeah? Poor kids, alone in the dark…."

oOo

Pride coughed, climbing to his feet. He steadied himself, panting.

Selim was successfully KO'd on the floor. He swooped down and grabbed his pants and found that they were damp from Selim's crying.

He twitched and headed for the curtains. Pride allowed the tiniest crack of light and felt his power return to him. Shadows.

He grabbed Selim and lifted him in the air. The boy, stirring, whimpered and slowly opened his eyes at the motion.

"Why…." he whispered. He looked down at Pride. "Hey… your underpants are purple! …oh no, don't kill me!"

A shadow spear flew at Selim, who screamed, but there was loud 'click' that stopped it. Pride looked around.

"What…? ARGH, my eyes!"

Selim was dropped to the floor, and Pride's shadows disappeared again. The room suddenly looked brighter.

Selim turned around and realized that a pink, sparkling disco ball had popped out of the ceiling. It was extremely painful to look at, even while squinting, so he looked back at Pride. He was zonked out on the floor.

Selim, frightened, cautiously nudged him with his shoe. Pride didn't move (except for his eyes, which were turning in dizzy circles). He wondered if he was dead and leaned over to feel his heartbeat.

Just then, the bedroom door flew open. Selim whirled around and saw the dark outline of a large man through the blinding pink sparkles.

"Did somebody order A LARGE HAM?" came a dramatic, booming voice.

There was a long pause.

"…No, but I ordered a clam chowder and bread. Maybe he ordered it," replied Selim innocently, poking at Pride.

"What are you students doing in here?" the man said, stepping inside the room. He turned out to be a very large, beefy man with a blonde moustache and a single curl of hair on his head. Selim thought that he was sparkling, but maybe it was just the disco ball. He was not wearing a shirt.

"Well…." Selim bowed his head, unsure how to explain everything. Saying that 'Pride was going to kill me' might not be believable when it was Pride who was unconscious on the floor… and without any pants on.

"Just having a duel, I see!" exclaimed the man. He dropped the large ham on top of Pride, whose eyes were still spinning. "Welcome to our school then, Selim Bradley and Selim Bradley!"

Selim cocked his head. Two Selim Bradley's? But… wasn't this guy's name Pride…?

"I am Principal Alex Louis Armstrong!" declared Armstrong, flexing his muscles. "I usually work as a general, but I also run this school in my free time! This elementary school has been owned and taught by the Armstrong family for generations and generations! How are you enjoying it here so far?"

"It's… nice," Selim answered shyly, lowering his head.

"Good! Do you have any complaints?" Armstrong asked, striking another pose.

He considered this questions. "Well, th-the disco ball is a little bit bright," he offered.

Armstrong stroked his moustache. "I see… well, this can't do! HA!"

Principal Armstrong suddenly leaped into the air and ripped the disco ball out of the ceiling and smashed it into a sculpture of himself, which he set on the desk table. Selim stared with wide eyes.

"You don't seem to have any lights in here!" cried the principal. He flew out of the room and came back just as quickly with about five huge lava lamps and three standard lamps. "These will help brighten up your room!"

"Thank - you…?" Selim watched as Armstrong set up all the lamps in a few mere seconds. When he was done, he flexed his muscles. Selim found out that he did indeed sparkle.

"Your pleasure is mine," said Armstrong. He bent down and picked up Pride and the ham. "Now, get to bed for class tomorrow! Your friend here seems tired from your duel. I'll bring young Selim to the nurses' office for now until he gets better."

"Y-yes, sir," Selim answered. With that, he left the room with Pride.

That… was one of the strangest things that had happened to him in all his life. He had the feeling that it was only the beginning.

oOo

Hours later….

Selim sighed. It was dark outside, and Pride was still in the nurses' office (thankfully). Selim, on the other hand, was sitting at the table in his room; he yet to finish his dinner.

But that was not entirely his fault. In front of him was a mini-pool sized bowl of clam chowder and a loaf of bread that was as big as a piano. It was tasty, but… Selim didn't understand. There was a quote engraved on the bowl:

"This bowl has been passed down in the Armstrong family for generations and generations. Only an Armstrong was known to finish eating everything out of it."

NOTES: TV Tropes has official ruined my life. If you got the Large Ham reference, they're ruined your life, too ):

REVIEW REPLIES:

Rodrigo DeMolay: Hey there! 8D ORZ I live in the US, so they usually call it soccer here - but I'm all for what every other nation calls it X.x And thanks for the review! :D

Moofy-Fan: Thank you! Pride and Selim are my favorite characters *U* LOL I'm sure Armstrong will make the school interesting enough :D Thanks again for the review!