Gamer Guide - Translating basic gaming terms (if you're so inclined)

"For the Alliance!" - Common battle cry of the Alliance side players of the popular MMO (massive multi-player online roleplaying game) World of Warcraft (WoW).

"For the Horde!" - Common battle cry of the Horde players of WoW.

"Rend flesh with me!" - Spoke by the Undead race (skeletal, decaying humanoids), basically meaning "Dude, let's go kill shit together."

Undercity - the home city of the Undead

Raid - Getting together an organized group of 40-70 players to take down a game monster. Everyone has a job to do.

DoT - Damage over time.

CC - Crowd control. Say you're fighting two mobs. You crowd control one (in WoW, mages can turn monsters into sheep (hehehehe) ) and fight the other.

I'm not what one might call a morning person. Except for the wee hours of it, I tended to avoid morning like the plague it was. Waking up had to be my least favorite daily chore, no matter how much sleep I'd gotten.

Right. First order of the day – caffeine.

After I literally rolled out of bed, I stretched myself out along the floor reaching for the mini-fridge. My hand encountered a foreign object, and I forced my bleary eyes open.

My fridge had acquired a magnet. I blinked a few more times, trying to force my hazy brain to focus. Then I had to squint because I was blind as a bat without my glasses. Yep, there surely was a magnet on my fridge…of the sun – the grinning sun. Next to it was a post-it that I plucked off quickly.

J – Just in case you forgot, this is what the sun looks like. – Em.

I snorted, flicking on my computer as I reluctantly got myself more vertical. Shoving my glasses on my face, I opened the fridge and grabbed a can of the staple of every gamer – Mountain Dew. Before I did anything else, I drank.

Ah, yes. Surely, when the Greek gods spoke of ambrosia, Mountain Dew was what they were talking about.

Feeling a little better about the being awake thing, I stood, stretching my arms above my head before plopping myself down at my desk.

The first three weeks of college hadn't been as bad as I'd expected by a long shot, and that had a lot to do with my roommate. He was good people for sure and probably the easiest guy to get along with in the history of mankind.

I guess I'd never realized how antisocial I was, though, compared to Emmett, Paris Hilton was antisocial. He was always out with someone, doing something. Luckily, he preferred to be doing things away from our little room, so I got the place to myself fairly frequently.

What can I say? Alone was in my comfort zone.

Emmett was absolutely flabbergasted by my loathing of the sun. He loved being outside. Despite the fact that the sun didn't shine here nearly as much as in Texas, Emmett managed to sport a near permanent tan. The sun had been out all weekend, and he'd tried to lure me outside to enjoy it. I'd resisted.

What? I had raids, man.

That was another thing that warped Emmett's mind. He didn't understand how I could spend so much time playing a video game. Wouldn't I rather, he'd asked more than once, be out hanging with my friends?

He didn't get it. I played World of Warcraft – had since I was a freshman in high school. Not only was it a challenging game of tactics and balance, but, when I was playing, I was hanging out with my friends. Emmett and his friends tossed a football around on the quad, my friends took down Kel'Thuzad.

Emmett's teasing was good natured though, and I spent my first few minutes of the morning – well, I suppose it was early afternoon – searching for a picture of the actual sun. I found one that I could work with and readjusted it so it was the right size. I printed it out, cut the excess paper and taped it to the front of the magnet. Finally, I scrawled on a new post-it:

Em – The sun doesn't have a face, you're thinking about the moon. No wonder you're failing astronomy. - J

I write small when I want to.

Emmett, I knew, was already in class. That was because my roomie was a chump. Who did that? It was college - we were finally allowed a modicum of complete and total freedom, and he takes morning classes? One of his classes started at eight. Eight! I knew better than to take morning classes because I knew one thing for certain: there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one blood-shot eye.

Feeling a little more human now that I had Mountain Dew coursing through my veins, I started gathering my things to head to the showers. Communal showers were not good times. It reminded me too much of gym – and I hated gym. I still wasn't used to showering with my shoes on…if you could call flip-flops shoes.

I guess if the worst part about college was having to shower with shoes, I couldn't complain. The classes weren't too hard, so far,

Mostly, if I had to be honest, I guess I had to admit that it was a relief being away from the quiet of my house back in Houston.

The first few days, it was a little jarring. I almost felt like all the other kids around here, all so loud and rowdy, were being disrespectful. I got a little pissy until I realized... this is what normality sounded like.

My house hadn't been normal for a long, long time.

After that realization, I started to enjoy the near constant hubbub all around me. I guess it was the sign I needed. Life really does go on.

After I showered and got dressed, I headed downstairs. I had one class that day and just enough time to stop at the coffee shop before I got there. That made me a little jauntier, 'cause I knew my favorite gal was working this afternoon.

It wasn't like that, though.

Honestly, it was beyond me to figure out what was going on in my own head. Alice... well, there wasn't a damn thing wrong with her. She was gorgeous, funny, and smart.
Anyone who saw me with Alice would think I was a different person. She just made me feel comfortable. Besides, she spoke my language.

"For the Alliance!" she greeted me, pounding her chest with her first.

"For the Horde!" I corrected, pretending to scowl at her. She glared right back.

Neither of us could hold it for long. We both started giggling.

I looked at her pretty smile, and I tried to figure out what I felt.

I liked her, genuinely I did, but...

Maybe the downside to being so far away from my parents was that suddenly, I didn't have to worry about them all the time, and that meant, I was thinking about myself a lot more than I was used to.

The other guys all around me didn't have a problem being crude about girls. I mean, obviously, I wasn't going to be obnoxious to her face, but shouldn't I be thinking something crass? Or maybe trying to sneak a peek at her boobs, or something?

Emmett was downright blatant with that shit.

Whatever.

"Alliance is for twelve year old kids. When are you going to join the better half?" I asked as I pretended to peruse the menu. We both knew that I was going to get the same thing I always got.

"Mmm. I like being a gnome," she said, scrubbing the counter. "They are just the right size you know." She winked, and I grinned. "Besides, I don't know if I could handle being a newb again."

"Come on, Alice. I'd re-roll with you," I offered spontaneously. It would just be so nice to have a friend both online and offline. "I don't have an undead. Think about it. We could come up together and rule the Undercity. What say you? Rend flesh with me."

She laughed. "Tell you what, if one of the idiots who come in here trying to pick me up used that line on me, I'd definitely say yes."

The way she looked at me, from under her lashes, made me duck my head. Any other idiot would have jumped at the opening she gave me.

Me? I ordered.

I spent more time running over the scenario in my mind than I did listening to my English professor.

She liked me, I think.

I mean, I'd be the first to admit I was an imbecile about the whole girl situation. Could be she was just talking out loud, like she would to any friend.

But... I think there was something to the way she batted her eyelashes, right?

And really, what the fuck was wrong with me? So what if I didn't feel any of that below the belt bullshit? Maybe after living the way I did for so long, it didn't come natural. A date with a beautiful girl wasn't a bad thing in any guy's book. I didn't have to feel anything to spend a little time with a girl, did I?

Did I?

Class let out, and as I walked back to the dorms, I thought about heading back over to the coffee shop, but who was I kidding?

Anyway, when I got back to the dorms and saw I had mail, all my pondering came to a halt. Seemed that Momma had sent me a care package.

There was an assortment of brownies and cookies, and while I did appreciate that, there was another item that caught my eye and made an all too familiar lump rise to my throat.

Momma always seemed to know when Lucy left the forefront of my mind.

I picked up the little magnet, remembering when Lucy gave it to me.

She was so proud. I came home from school, and she hopped down from her usual perch on the couch and run over to me. Well, she walked as fast as Lucy ever could - fast enough that I remembered telling her to slow her roll.

So, of course, when she got to me, she was winded as all hell.

"Look... Jaspa!" she'd exclaimed, excitedly pressing what looked more like a red lump than anything else into my hand. "I made... it for... you... special," she said between gasps, smiling a gap toothed grin.

Closing my fist around the little lump of clay she'd explained was supposed to be a heart, I tried to put walls on the overwhelming feeling at the center of my chest.

I thought I was outrunning this. I thought being so far away, I wouldn't have to be faced by my mother's constant need to remember. She couldn't let go, didn't want to let go.

So what else was new? I'd have been lying if i didn't admit that carrying around my parents' sadness was one thing I knew I wasn't going to miss. As it was, it still occupied so much of my time - wondering if they were okay, calling them frequently to make sure they were getting on without me.

Sighing, I stooped to place the little heart magnet on the fridge and reached for my phone.

Message received, Momma. Lucy wasn't going to be forgotten.

~Emmett~

The second I got the door open, Jake brushed passed me. He flopped down on my bed, all sprawled out and shit. "Holy shit. That game was intense man. It's just basketball, not war."

I grimaced. "Bitch. You're getting the scent of sweaty man all over my blankets."

Of course, that was Jake's cue to rub his sweaty self like, all over my bed.

"Nice," I grumbled, rolling my eyes.

Chuckling, Jake rolled his head. "Dude," he muttered, his eyebrows wrinkling. "Your roommate is kind of weird, isn't he?"

I followed his line of sight. Seemed like Jasper had set up a couple of weird looking figures on his desk.

"Dude knows he's an adult, right? Why is he still playing with dolls?" Jake wondered out loud.

For some reason, I bristled. Jake was a call it as he saw it kind of guy - never too serious - so I didn't know what my problem was. "I think they're called figurines. Some people collect them."

"He's just weird," Jake repeated. "Like, I'm surprised he's not here. That motherfucker is always here, staring at his computer." He sat up, shaking his head. "Remember last week when we had those girls in here? They were ridiculous hot, but he didn't look away from his stupid game! It's just not normal."

Again, I shrugged, feeling an odd discomfort at the pit of my stomach. I don't know if Jake noticed, but I wasn't all that interested in those girls either. For some reason, his words stung.

It's just not normal.

He shook his head. "I'm telling ya, man. He's gonna be one of those guys. Don't be surprised if he goes on a shooting rampage at some point."

"Whatever," I muttered, feeling annoyed. Pushing myself off the wall, I opened the little mini-fridge and tossed Jake a Mountain Dew. When his eyes lit up, I snorted. "Guess he's not so weird now, right?"

Jake laughed. "He's still weird. Even weird people drink soda."

~0~

For the record, I didn't think Jasper was 'weird.' He definitely wasn't going to go on a shooting spree - I guess unless you counted that game he was always playing.

Then again, that hardly counted. Every once in a while I heard what may have been a gunshot coming from the speakers, but more typically there were all sorts of colors and sparkles on the screen.

He'd explained to me once that he was a mage... a blood elf mage, whatever the hell that meant.

Mage meant magic, right?

Anyway.

He was a quiet kid. Maybe if I studied as much as I should have, it would have annoyed me that he spent so much time on a headset talking to his … guildmates or whatever. I didn't mind that. I couldn't exactly bitch about him shouting things like, "I got the DoT on him!" when I pumped my music and invited my friends over.

But Jake was right about one thing. If he wasn't in class, he was here in our room. That just made me a little sad. I know he had one friend - he talked about a chick named Alice - but he never brought her around or saw her outside of his coffee shop stops.

It kinda got me wondering what his problem was. Maybe he was just shy. I mean, he kinda carried himself in this closed off way - with his shoulders hunched and his scraggly long hair falling into his face, and his ridiculous big glasses making him seem a little googly eyed and such.

He wasn't a bad looking dude by a long shot. He had... very pretty features. Though, maybe that wasn't a good thing to him. I know Edward always got particularly pouty when I called him pretty - but whatever, man. I got all the handsome in our family, but that poor kid was just... yeah, pretty.

Jasper was a different kind of pretty, though. It was kind of pleasing to the eye, if you could look past all the other stuff.

Dude, seriously. Guys could look good with long hair. Jake had hair long enough to put into a ponytail, and that motherfucker got laid all the time.

Just, maybe he needed to brush it was all.

I shook my head, wondering why the fuck I was so fixated on dude's hair. That so wasn't the point.

Anyway, I'd been staring at the back of Jasper's head, kinda zoning out to all the sparkling and flashing stuff on his screen, contemplating all this shit instead of doing my History reading.

"Hey, Jasper?"

"Hold up," he said, hitting one key furiously. "Fuck! If that douchebag breaks my CC one more time..."

I rolled my eyes.

When he still hadn't responded five minutes later, I called his name again.

"Ya gotta give me a minute, Emmett," he said tersely.

When Edward was really sick, I used to play the distraction game. Sometimes, he got really scared or angry or kind of pulled in on himself, and wouldn't talk to anyone. I'd go into his room and start picking up things, making comments and putting them back in the wrong place until he either unwound himself to yell at me or started laughing.

Obviously, Jasper wasn't sick, but the game got me what I wanted. I started poking around his desk, picking up his things, asking questions while he grimaced because he was concentrating on his stupid game. He put up with it until I got to the little magnet on the fridge.

"Dude, what the fuck is this thing supposed to be anyway?" I asked, examining the reddish little lump that had appeared next to the sun magnet I got him the week before.

I thought I saw his back go stiff. "It's a heart."

That made me snicker. "You got ripped off, buddy. This is not a heart. I mean, it's not even the shape of an anatomically correct heart if that's what you were going for. Maybe you should throw it away..."

At that, he spun, and I was shocked to see anger in his eyes. He grabbed the thing from my hands. For a second, I thought for sure he was gonna punch me. "My sister gave this to me," he growled.

He fucking growled at me. No joke.

I put my hands up, feeling bad though I didn't understand what the big deal was. "Okay, man. My bad."

All the anger seemed to drain from him then. His shoulders slumped, and he looked sad and embarrassed as he turned away.

There was a tension in the room that made me really uncomfortable. I found myself searching for some joke to tell, but there was something about the heaviness in the air that made me think that humor wasn't the answer to this one. The atmosphere kind of made my skin crawl.

I looked at the picture he kept on his desk of his family.

I looked at his little sister.

Then, all of a sudden like one of those, 'duh' light bulb moments, I thought I understood what was going on.

There was a reason little Lucy reminded me of Edward. Their skin had the same kind of gray pallor to it, and they were way too skinny. Uncomfortably skinny.

Little Lucy... who Jasper never spoke about, except that he mumbled her name when I asked him about the picture the day we met. And now that I looked back, when I heard him on the phone with his parents, he never asked for her, never appeared to be talking to her, never even asked them how she was.

Lucy looked sickly in that photo, just like Edward.

Except, Edward had gone into remission.

Suddenly I was sure Lucy hadn't. I was pretty sure that Lucy was dead.

I felt my throat get all tight and closed off, and for a second, my head felt kind of dizzy. If it was true, I just...

Of course, when Edward was sick, I couldn't help imagining it. What if. 'What if' had made it hard to breathe for almost two years. I think my chest ached for the whole time, and I just waited for the worst news every single time he had to go to the hospital. I just waited for them to say he wasn't going to get out.

I didn't think I took a deep breath until we finally heard that beautiful word.

Remission was the best word in the entire human language except for cured.

So if it had gone the other way for Jasper...

Well, fuck. Me and my big mouth.

"Hey, uh..." I scrambled, trying to figure out something because I hated the tension. "I can see it, now. It just takes a little imagination. That was really sweet of her."

He breathed deep, I could see his shoulders rise and fall slowly. "Yeah," he said simply.

I took the thing from him and put it back on the fridge. Looking at it, I couldn't help but snicker.

"What?" he asked, his voice rough and already irritated.

"It's nothing, dude. Just remembering my Spanish, that's all."

He turned around then, and I was relieved when he looked more confused than pissed. "What about Spanish?"

"Sun in Spanish is sol," I explained.

"Yeah..."

I pointed at the two magnets on the fridge. "Heart and sol," I said, snickering again. I don't know why it was so funny to me.

His lips kinda jerked, like he thought maybe he shouldn't laugh or something. Then he did, though it kinda sounded like he hadn't used his laugh in a long time.

A/N: Thank y'all for your response to this story. I'm very excited to get it written. It holds a special place in my heart.

Much love to jadedandboring and barburella for holding my hand.