Who is trash? Me. Me is trash.

Enjoy! ;)

Day 2: making christmas cards

"So, England, who are you making your card for?" North asked, beaming at the fact that her brother's had agreed to do this at all. Making Christmas cards wasn't something they'd ever done before, let alone as a family, so this was more than a little exciting.

"France." England replied, without looking up from his card, making the rest of them look up in surprise.

"Wait, really?" North asked in surprise.

England nodded, "Yes, I've drawn a penis on a piece of folded A4 paper." He held up said drawing, which, true to his word, was a rather lazy and rather crude picture of a rather small penis drawn with sharpie, with 'Merry Fucking Christmas' written under it in England's neat script. It also appeared he was in the process of decorating the words with small holly berries.

"Classy." Wales said dryly.

"I thought so," England replied, placing it back down and reaching for an envelope.

Scotland peered over at it, smiling despite himself, "I'm not sure how I feel about you sending drawings of your dick to France."

England looked up at him flatly, raising an eyebrow, "Oh, I'm sorry, my skills must be rusty, it was supposed to be yours."

"And can I ask why you were attempting to send France an inaccurate picture of my cock?"

"I was hoping he'd take you off my hands."

"New question, why did you think that would make him do that?"

"That's how frogs mate, isn't it? Displaying their penis in the hopes that that is somehow sufficient enough wooing for sex to happen."

"Well, haven't you been working hard researching the mating habits of France."

"I have first-hand experience. He seems intent on carrying out said mating habits on me. With any luck this display will distract his efforts onto you."

"Are you not worried about him trying to steal me away?"

Scotland leaned close to England then, with a predatory smile, making England chuckle. England himself, reaching a hand up to pinch his chin, and leaning in close so Wales and North couldn't hear him. "Try and succeed, poppet, are two very different things. I don't believe for one second the frog can make you moan out his name with the same enthusiasm as you moan out my own."

"Oh, you don't? I have vivid memories of him making me whimper and beg and-"

"I'd stop where you are, my darling, or else I will be forced to rid you of those memories. One at a time."

Across the table, North was glaring at the pair of them. Wales simply continued on with his own card, holding it at a distance to admire it, "I don't know what you thought would happen."

With an irritated sigh, North turned away from the enthusiastically making out nations on the other side of the table, "Neither did I."