It all started with a jutsu chapter 2. The big sellout, the death of a duck butt, and the fangirls are going to kill us.
We start out in Naruto world with Orochimaru and Sasuke
Or: Okay now that I've recovered from the injuries you gave me we can try that jutsu again.
Sa: what! No way am I doing that again!
Or: Where did you end up? If you ended up in a hentai eventually you'll get used to them.
Sa: You are a sick pervert.
Or: Whatever just tell me what happened.
Sa: I ended up in a shojo.
Or: That's nothing what's so bad about a shojo? Were there to many girls there? Maybe you really are gay.
Sa: No I'm not! A girl in that world tried to cut my hair!
Or: Really Sasuke? You got that scared and angry over a haircut?
Sa: So what!
Or: Okay let me explain some things about the jutsu. It has a four hour recharge time and when you are in that world you have to follow the rules of that world. Also there are a lot of things that can go wrong with it if you do even a very small thing wrong. Almost everything I've experienced is written in a scroll which I will give you if you use the jutsu again.
Sa: Will I end up in the same place?
Or: Probably not.
Sa: Then I'll try it one more time *he does the jutsu* and jazz hands!
He disappears
Now in beauty pop world. Kiri, Billy, and Narumi are huddled around a computer.
Na: Wow is that really what that's Sasuke kids series is like?
Billy: Yeah it's so ridiculous. Why would people like crazy stuff like this?
Kiri: I wonder what he's doing right now. For some reason I want him to come back here. He really needs to fix that horrible haircut of his. Well I'm going to take a walk.
Na: Can I come with you?
Kiri: Sure hey Billy you wanna come?
Billy: No thanks I have to go home.*He leaves.*
Now Kiri and Narumi are outside the salon when Sasuke appears.
Sa: Oh cr*p!
Kiri: Well looks whose back.
Sa: Hey who's the guy?
Na: I'm Narumi.
Sa: Okay I'm going to leave now. *He tries to leave*
Na: You're not going anywhere. *He grabs Sasuke's hoodie and Sasuke struggles.*
Sa: Let me go!
Kiri: He won't. Just let me cut your hair.
Sa: My hair is perfect! Don't cut it!
Na: Well you were right his hair does look like a duck butt. Well let's get to work.
They go into the salon.
Now in the salon. Sasuke is sitting in one of the chairs having is oh sh*t I'm screwed face.
Kiri: Why are you so scared it's just a haircut.
Na: yeah you really need it your haircut is horrible.
Sa: Hey!
Kiri: I agree with Narumi.
Na: Kiri just get on with it.
Kiri: okay *She tries to start when.*
Sa: Stop!
Na: What now?
Sa: Do you know about my series?
Na: We know a bit.
Sa: Then do you know about my brother Itachi?
Kiri: Oh he was that guy with the really long black hair. I would really like to give him a beautiful style someday.
Sa: Yeah him. Hey if I could get him here would you not cut my hair?
Kiri: Maybe can you?
Suddenly a letter appears.
Na: What is this? *he opens the letter.* It's for you. *He hands it to Sasuke.*
Sa: Dear Sasuke I found out what series you ended up in. I hope your cut ends well and please make them tape it being cut.
Ps I enclosed some special paper that teleports to different worlds if you write the person and the world their in it will appear right in front of them.
Sa: That b*tch!
Na: Well that solves him getting here.
Sa: I'll only agree to get him if you agree to not cut my hair.
Kiri: Fine. But only if you get him here in less than an hour.
Sa: I agree. * He writes the letter and it disappears*
Kiri: I'll go outside and wait for him * She leaves.*
Na: You know I need more practice on cutting guys hair. I don't think she'll mind if I cut yours. * He takes out his scissors.*
Sa: Hey that goes against the agreement!
Na: Kiri made it. I didn't.
Now in Naruto world. Itachi is walking in a forest when the letter appears.
It: Huh? What's this? * He begins to read the letter.* Dear Itachi I learned a jutsu that is even more powerful then any type of Sharingan! Bet you can't perform it! What kind of jutsu is this? Oh well might as well try it. *he starts the jutsu.* And jazz hands.
He disappears.
Now back in beauty pop world Kiri is outside the salon when Itachi appears. He is wearing regular jeans, a black t-shirt with the word akatsuki on it, and a black leather jacket with a red cloud on the back.
It: What happened? Where am I? Wait? What?
Kiri: Hi you must be Itachi.
It: Could you tell me what just happened and what's going on?
Kiri: What did your brother tell you?
It: He only told me to do this weird jutsu other than that I know nothing about what's going on.
Kiri: Oh well you have teleported to a shojo called beauty pop. I'm the main character Kiri and I'm a hairstylist. I was about to cut your brother's hair when
It: let me guess he went into a crazy rage?
Kiri: No he actually
Na: Get away from me you demon kid! ACK! OUCH! AHHHHHH!
It: Sounds like he did now.
Kiri: We better go and see what happened.
It: This happens every time.
Kiri: What do you mean?
It: I'll explain later. Right now we need to go and check on whoever was screaming like a girl and see what Sasuke did to him.
Now back in the salon everything looks fine.
Kiri: Narumi you in here?
Narumi looks obviously badly beaten up when he comes out from the back room.
Kiri: Narumi what happened?
Na: I tried to cut Sasuke's hair! He turned into a demon kid and beat me up!
Kiri: Where is he?
Na: I managed to lock him in the back room. You've been warned!
It: Don't worry I know how to handle him. Come on Kiri.
Kiri: Okay.
Now they are at the door to the room.
It: I'll go in first. *he knocks on the door.* Sasuke it's me Itachi! It's going to be okay I won't let them cut your hair! *under breath but Kiri hears it total lie.*
Sa: I don't trust you!
It: Ugh! Fine I'm coming in! * They enter the room to find Sasuke sitting in the fetal position in the corner.*
Kiri: Is it usually this bad?
It: Sometimes it can be worse.
Kiri: How can it be worse?
It: You don't want to know.
Kiri: Well can you snap him out of it?
Sa: Mommy! Daddy! I don't want them to do stuff to me!
Kiri: Okay that's weird.
It: Let me handle this. * He walks up to Sasuke.* Sasuke?
Sa: Huh?
It: *b*tch slaps Sasuke.* You need to f*cking snap out of it! You're acting like a little b*tch! She just wants to cut your hair there's nothing f*cking wrong with that!
Kiri: Man you swear a lot.
It: F*ck you!
Sa: * Starts to cry.* Itachi I don't want her to! Besides you're not an adult! (Ah child logic)
It: I'm f*cking 23!
Sa: Still you're not mom or dad!
Kiri: Maybe we should give up.
It: H*ll no! He's getting his haircut whether he wants it or not! *He picks up Sasuke who stops crying and starts to scream at the top of his lungs and punches and kicks Itachi who doesn't feel a thing.*
Sa: NO! NO! STOP! NOOOOOOO!
Kiri: Looks like I get to cut his hair after all.
Now back in the salon.
Na: Ack! It's the demon kid!
Kiri: Narumi get the rope.
Na: Okay. * He gets the rope.*
It: Now tie him up as soon as I set him down. Okay?
Na: Right.
Sa: Stop it you! You! F*cking F*g!
It: Now! *Itachi sets Sasuke in the chair and Narumi quickly ties him up.*
Kiri: Who has the camera?
Na: I'll go get it. *He gets the camera.*
It: Let me use it. *He takes the camera and turns it on.* Hello everyone it's me Itachi. I know I haven't uploaded in a while but I have a special surprise for you today. *he turns the camera to Sasuke.* Sasuke is finally going to get his hair cut so he won't have that horrible duck butt hair.
Sa:*Screams and kicks.* If you send this to anyone I'll f*cking kill you!
It: As you can see he's acting like a rabid demon kid. Though he's not as bad as what he did before. *Turns the camera to Narumi who has a few scratches and a black eye.* This is what happened to the first guy that tried to cut his hair.
Kiri: Itachi could you please calm him down? I can't do anything when his moving around so much.
It: Let me look for it * He looks for something in his pockets and pulls out a bunny* Ops wrong thing. * He looks again and finds a beat up patched up bear.* Hey Sasuke you want surgery bear?
Sa: yay! Swergery bear!
It: Then you have to let the nice lady cut your hair.
Sa: Fine!
It: *He gives Sasuke the bear.* Okay Kiri you have about ten minuets give or take. Can you do anything in that amount of time?
Kiri: I can do anything in ten minuets. *She starts to cut.*
Ten minuets later.
Kiri: Okay I'm going to turn him around so he can see how I did. Itachi you untie him on three. Okay? One, two, three!
Kiri turns him around and Itachi unties him.
Kiri: Well do you like it.
Sasuke's hair is shorter in the back and is less spiky and he has angled emo bangs witch cover one of his eyes.
Sa: I look… hot! * He makes sexy faces in the mirror.*
It: And you made such a fuss before.
Kiri: Okay Itachi it's your turn.
It: WHAT!
Before Itachi has any time to react Sasuke pushes Itachi into the chair and ties him to it.
It: What the f*ck is going on!
Kiri: Sasuke didn't tell you? He brought you here to get your hair cut.
It: Sasuke I'm going to f*cking kill you!
Na: Are all you Uchihas so overprotective about your hair?
Kiri: Narumi you're not helping. Itachi you saw what I did to your brother's hair. If I can do that to him think what I could do with your hair.
It: I I fine!
Sasuke grabs the camera.
Sa: Hey everyone it's me Sasuke. How do you like my new hair? * He does an emo hair flip.* Please don't think I act like that the whole time. Well now it's Itachi's turn. And Kiri is going to chop off Itachi's hair.
It: No f*cking way! Let me out of here!
Kiri: Now Itachi I'm not going to cut it all off.
It: How much are you going to cut off?
Kiri: A lot of the ponytail.
It: No F*cking way! You can't kill the ponytail! Someone get me the f*ck out of here! * He tries to get out of the ropes but can't.*
Kiri: Now just hold still. * She pulls his hair tie down a bit and starts to cut it off.*
It: F*CKING STOP!
Kiri: There that's all I'm cutting off. *Shows him his now severed off ponytail.*
It:***#$%**********#$%************#$%*********! *If you wanted to know Itachi's hair is just a little past his shoulders now.*
(Fangirls please it gets better don't kill us just yet.)
Pretty much Itachi used every swear word in the book and didn't even stop to take a breath for five minuets.
It: F*cking d*ck hole! *passes out due to no oxygen.*
Sa: That's a new record for him. Well he'll be out for a least twenty minuets you can do whatever you want with his hair.
It: *Suddenly wakes up.* No she can't! *Passes out again.*
Kiri: That was odd but oh well. *She begins to cut again.*
Sasuke sets the camera down and goes by Narumi.
Na: You won't hurt me again right?
Sa: Sorry I did that. I promise that won't happen again from now I will only trust Kiri with my hair. I really like how it looks and I love how much confidence it gives me.
Na: That's Kiri for you. She can make pretty much anyone look amazing.
About fifteen minuets later.
Kiri: *Taps Itachi on the shoulder.* Itachi wake up I'm done now.
It: Ugh I had a weird dream a girl chopped off my ponytail and I *Looks at himself in the mirror his hair looks similar to fang from the manga maximum ride.* look good.
Kiri: See? You didn't need to swear for five minuets straight.
It: Sorry I did that. But thank you so much. I don't even think I've ever looked this good.
Sa: Well Narumi what time is it?
Na: About four thirty.
Sa: Then we've still got three hours.
It: What are you talking about?
Sa: The jutsu we used has a four hour recharging time.
It: Oh.
Kiri's stomach grumbles
Kiri: Well how about we all go out for dinner, my treat.
Everyone else: Sure.
Now everyone is an asaji street and lots of girls are following Sasuke and Itachi. Then one comes up to Sasuke.
G1: Um hi there.
Sa: Hello.
G1: Um would it be okay if I gave you my number?
Sa: Okay but I don't have anything for you to write it on.
G1: That's okay *Pulls out a sharpie and writes her number on his hand.*
G1: Thanks call me later?
Sa: Sure.
The rest of the time Sasuke and Itachi were given lots of girl's numbers on scraps of paper and on their arms and etc.
Now back at Kiri's house.
It: I must have got at least 50 numbers. *Takes of his jacket and his arms are covered in names and numbers.
Sa: Hey I got at lot of numbers to.
Kiri: That much sharpie ink on you can't be healthy you guys should wash it off.
It: Ok where's the bathroom?
Kiri: second door up stairs.
It: Ok hey Sasuke could you help me get the numbers of my back?
Sa: ok *they go upstairs.*
Kiri: Hey Narumi wanna go look up stuff on the computer?
Na: Sure.
Now in the bathroom Itachi is shirtless and Sasuke is writing down numbers off Itachi's back.
It: Did you get them all yet?
Sa: Last one. *Finishes writing.* There I wrote every last one of them. Why did you let write all over you?
It: I wanted to get all of their numbers. Don't you have them all over you to?
Sa:*Sigh* Yes. *he takes of his shirt and he also has lots of numbers on him.
It: You still have less numbers then me.
Sa: Whatever just write them down.
It: Fine. *he starts to write down the numbers.* So I heard you live with Orochimaru now. How the f*ck did that happen?
Sa: Mom and dad kicked me out.
It: Oh. Well would to like to live at my place?
Sa: You'd let me?
It: Yeah I think it's time to burry the off screen hatchet.
Sa: We really could be good brothers again?
It: Yeah. Do you even remember why we hated each other?
Sa: No not really.
It: I was because I gave you your duck butt hair. When you were little you had really long hair and everyone thought you were a girl so I took matters into my own hands.
Sa: So you cut my hair?
It: Yeah and that's how you got your duck butt hair, for some reason you liked it and you never let anyone cut it any other way. But the reason why you hated me was I said I hated your hair and you could never have hair as good as mine. Now I would say both of us are equal.
Sa: You're really willing to let all the past go?
It: Yeah are you?
Sa: Yes onii-chan. It feels so good to finally say that again.
It: Well I'll let you go in the shower first.
Sa: Thanks.
Itachi leaves
Later and Sasuke is out of the shower and is wearing a towel
Sa: Itachi it's safe to come in!
Itachi enters
It: You didn't get dressed?
Sa: We're both guys and brothers it doesn't matter.
It: You have been spending way to much time with Orochimaru. So are you going to live with me or not?
Sa: Is your roommate fine with it?
It: He moved out three months ago.
Sa: Then as Soon as we get back I'm going to pack and go to your house.
It: Fine with me. *Goes into the shower.*
Later Sasuke is outside the bathroom fully clothed.
Kiri walks up to him.
Kiri: Is Itachi out of the shower yet?
Sa: No he's still in there.
Kiri: He's going to use up all the hot water. I'm going in to tell him to get out. *Goes into the bathroom.*
Sa: Kiri don't!
Now in the bathroom Kiri has just flushed the toilet and all of you know what that does
Itachi pulls the curtain away revealing the upper half of his body
It: Sasuke! *Sees Kiri.* Ops sorry. *Pulls curtain back.*
Kiri: You need to get done in there you're using up all the hot water!
It: Could you please leave I can't have you seeing me naked!
Kiri: Fine then. *She and Itachi leave.*
Now everyone except Billy is sitting in the living room.
Na: Hey Sasuke you're the most viewed on youtube.
Sa: what? *Sees the video of him acting like a demon kid while Kiri was cutting his hair. The video already has 6 million views.*
Sa: Itachi you put that on youtube!
It: No I sent it to Orochimaru he must have put it on youtube.
Sa: That's it I'm going to kill him! *Performs the jutsu* And jazz hands! *Disappears*
It: Well it was nice meeting you, every 6 weeks for a trim right?
Kiri: Yep
It: Bye. *Performs the jutsu.* And jazz hands! *He disappears.*
Now At Orochimaru's place. He's watching the video.
Or: *Laughing.* This is hilarious!
Sa: Oh is it?
Or: Oh Sasuke I didn't expect you back yet. I like your new haircut.
Sa: Thanks but you're the one that put that video on youtube.
Or: Sasuke please it's meant to be funny!
Sa: It's not. CHIDORI!
And that's really how Orochimaru died.
Thanks for reading!
Next chapter is called the beautiful golden art. Bet you can guess who this involves. Please review! And a special note soon I'll be putting up the first bonus chapter of IASWAJ! That's the acronym for this story! Thanks for reading!