thank you all for reading and commenting :) heres the next chapter, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing of SON
Chapter 2
Spencer's POV
Throughout my ten minute walk home, I contemplated yet another question. If I should call my girlfriend and tell her I'm home…or just hop in the shower and call her afterwards. Actually, I think I'll just text her so she isn't pissed off at me for it later which is bound to happen. As I walk into my apartment I take a deep breath as I kick off my sandals and slowly make my way towards my bathroom. I feel tired for some reason. Maybe because of all of the thinking I've done today. I tend to do that a lot though. Just sit and think about where I am in my life and why I'm letting her control me and run my life for me. I take another deep breath as I pull out my cell phone, deciding to send her a text right now before I forget with all of the thinking I'm doing. Sometimes I wish my brain would just shut up.
I'm home now, gonna hop in the shower okay?
I turned on the water and waited for the whole bathroom to steam up and as I was stripping out of my clothes, my phone vibrated.
Alright babe, I'll be over in about an hour. Love you.
I sighed, once again and got into the shower. Letting the hot water cascade down my body. I closed my eyes and let my mind wonder. You're probably wondering why me and my girlfriend don't live together after being together for over three years right?
Simple really.
Been there.
Done that.
It didn't work.
She was living here for free, freeloading on everything. I had to pay for rent and groceries by myself. Well, my mom helps me out a lot which I am very thankful for, but that's a story for another time. We got into a huge fight one night because I told her I needed her to help me pay to help out and she pretty much flipped. Saying her family was right about me and I always throw that in her face. Which hurt me because I have never thrown anything in her face like that and honestly, if it wasn't for me she wouldn't be where she is right now. I have given her everything and yet she still isn't thankful for any of it. So she moved out.
Oh yeah, her family pretty much talks about me behind my back all the time. Saying I'm lesbian and it seems like I'm into her because I don't have a boyfriend and all that shit. As far as they know we're only best friends because she's 'straight'. I keep telling her if she's dating me she's at least bisexual, but she denies it. So now I live alone again, which I'm happy for but then again she is always here anyways so what's the point?
I wonder what it would be like if I just finally let go and moved on without ever looking back. Would I be happy? Would I be with someone that actually treats me the way that I need to be? I'm pretty sure the answer is yes. But how will I ever know if I don't grow some balls and stick up for myself?
"Spence, you're still in the shower??" I heard from behind the door along with loud knocking, effectively jarring me from my thoughts.
"Yeah, sorry I must have lost track of time" I replied. Understatement. I still haven't even begun to wash my hair.
"Ooookay, well hurry up. I'm hungry" she said, making me roll my eyes. I hate when she rushes me.
"Alright, alright. I'll be right out" I lied. I planned on taking my time.
As I wash my hair I let my mind wonder yet again, only this time about Ashley. What did she even see in me? I mean, I'm nothing special trust me on that. Nobody has so much as looked at me when we're out places. They only approach her, and flirt with her. I'm invisible. But today, I wasn't. Every single time we go out, somebody approaches her. I'm hoping that doesn't happen tonight, but then again that's just wishful thinking.
I hopped out of the shower and threw on my favorite pair of ripped jeans and a t-shirt, leaving my hair down to air dry. I made sure I had my chap stick, eyeliner, cell phone, and wallet before heading out to my front door to slip on my sandals, looking for any sign of my girlfriend.
"Carmen?" I yelled out. Hearing no response I made my way to my balcony and saw her leaning against the railing, talking on her cell phone. I slid the door open and she turned to me, ending her phone call and smiling at me.
"Hey babe" she said sweetly, walking over to hug me and give me a quick peck on the lips.
"What do you feel like eating?" I asked, returning the embrace.
"How about pizza?" she asked pulling back and walking into my living room.
"Umm I'm not really in the mood for pizza. Chinese?" I suggested instead.
"Oh yeah, that sounds better. Let's go then" she said walking to the door.
"I seriously hate your car, Spencer. It's so ugly" she said getting into the passenger seat making me once again roll my eyes at her. I do that a lot.
"Yes, Carmen I know. You tell me every chance you get. I don't see what's not to like, I mean come on, it's a beautiful car and I love it" I said, starting the engine. I mean come on, who wouldn't like a 2007 Charger?
"Yeah, whatever Spence. When I get a car it's gonna be better than this" she said, reaching over to turn up the music to her music, music I personally wasn't a huge fan of.
"Can we please listen to something I like for once?" I asked, glancing over at her as I drove.
"No because it's all about me, I wanna listen to this" she said playfully, but I knew she was serious. "Plus your music sucks Spence, I don't even call it music" she said, looking out the window singing to the rap song that was playing on the radio. I'm more of a rocker girl, but she hates it so we always listen to her music. The rest of the car ride was silent, which I really didn't mind.
"Are you gonna pay this time?" I asked once we got out of the car, already knowing the answer.
"Uh, no…" she said, looking at me like I should know that.
"Alright, just thought I would ask" I breathed out as I held the door open for her.
"Well Jesus Spencer I just won't eat if its that much of a problem to pay for me" she said crossing her arms over her chest.
"Carmen, seriously it doesn't matter. I was just asking because once in a while it would be nice to not always have to pay for everything we do"
"No its okay, really. I'm not even hungry anymore" she said, kind of turning away from me. Fuck I hate when she gets like this, she's like a little kid.
"You know what? Fine. Don't eat. But I'm telling you I will pay for you so you might as well order something" I said walking the rest of the way to the counter, looking at the menu as she sulked behind me.
"Ahh, look what we have here" I heard the girl behind the counter say, instantly recognizing the voice.
"Ashley? You work here? I've never seen you in here before" I said, smiling widely as I talked to her. She makes me giddy.
"That's probably because I just started working here last week" she laughed a little, turning her attention to the girl behind me.
"Oh I'm sorry. Carmen, this is Ashley. Ashley this is Carmen, my-"
"Girlfriend" Carmen cut in, nodding at her before giving me a questioning stare. "How do you two know each other?" She asked, still staring at me.
"Well, it's nice to meet you Carmen. And I met Spencer here at the beach this morning" she said giving me a nose crinkling smile which made my heart rate go up, but I could see a hint of sadness in her eyes.
"That's…great" she said unenthusiastically. Once again, I rolled my eyes.
"So what would you guys like to order?" Ashley asked, getting back into work mode.
As soon as we sat down at a table she started with the questions just like I knew she would.
"Why didn't you tell me you met her?" she asked seriously. She was trying to hide her anger but it was pretty obvious to me.
"Because it didn't come up Carm. I was going to tell you" I said, starting to eat my yummy Chinese food.
"Yeah right you were. What are you hiding?" she asked accusingly.
"Oh my God Carmen. Are you kidding me?? I am NOT hiding anything and I'm not about to fight with you in public so I suggest you drop it" I whispered harshly, looking up to find a tall guy making his way towards us, his eyes on Carmen. Great. Here it goes. Let the fun begin. I quickly glanced at Ashley to find her helping another customer and sighed.
"Hey beautiful" the guy said once he approached her, completely ignoring me like I wasn't even there. And I sat there and watched her. I watched her turn to look at him and smile big once she saw him and introduced herself.
"Heyyy. I'm Carmen" her too ignoring me. I once again chanced a glance at Ashley and found her staring right at me and I didn't look away. She quickly turned her eyes to Carman and the other guy and then raised her eyebrow at me. I just shrugged my shoulders sadly and turned back to my plate.
"Oh, Frank this is my friend Spencer, Spence this is Frank" I heard her introduce us and I stared at her with my mouth open. Was she serious right now? Did she really just introduce me as her friend?
"Hi Spencer, it's nice to meet you" Frank said, reaching his hand across the table to shake mine but I ignored him and kept my attention on Carmen.
"Fuck you Carmen. Find your own way home" I said grabbing my stuff and abruptly standing up making my way towards Ashley with tears in my eyes.
"Spence what's wrong?" she asked right away, concern lacing her voice.
"When do you get off?" I asked, ignoring her question. I watched as she looked at the clock behind her.
"In about 2 minutes" she said, returning her gaze to me, concern never leaving her features.
"You wanna go somewhere with me?" I asked hesitantly, looking back to Carmen, realizing she didn't even care that I stormed off. She was just sitting here laughing with the bastard.
"Yeah, anywhere" she said as she began walking towards the back to get her stuff I presume.
She was in and out within 20 seconds and we both made our way to the door and to my car.
"Is this your car??" she asked excitedly.
"Yeah, why do you like it?" I asked laughing at the look on her face.
"Do I like it?? Spence this car is awesome!" she yelled, getting into the passenger seat, looking around the interior making me smile inside. I turned once more towards Carmen and saw her look at me, then to Ashley in my car then glare at me. I rolled my eyes at her and got into the car starting the engine, rap music blaring out of the speakers.
"You mind if I change the station?" Ashley asked sweetly, turning it down.
"Oh please do" I said laughing. She reached over and started going through the stations until she stopped on one and began singing the song. It was my favorite radio station. I turned to look at her, kind of shocked.
"What?" she asked confused, still singing the song.
"Nothing, Ash. Nothing at all" I said smiling softly as I made my way through traffic and to the beach, ignoring the constant vibrating of my cell phone in my pocket.
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
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