Word Count: 2,265

A/N: Okay, I'm so sorry about the late update, but it was ridiculously hard to decide where I wanted my story to go. As I said before this was supposed to be a one-shot. But I've got an idea of what I want to do and I promise the next update will definitely be less than a month away. I plan to get at least three more updates done before the month is up (though this is probably just my optimism speaking), really, I'll try my best. I'm tinkering with the format, but I hope you all like it.

(Edit: Thank you so much to Ice Dragon3 who really helped me out with this chapter)

Edited: 4/6/08

Shinobi – especially jounin – were known for their strange habits, or quirks, if you will. Some were quite obvious and flamboyant (though Gai would never attest to this), and others were more subtle, borderline neurotic tendencies. It was a hard thing among shinobi to gauge which of them were more eccentric than their comrades, so most tendencies were overlooked unless it endangered themselves, their companions, or their village. This was why no one batted an eye when Gai paraded about Konoha backwards with his eyes blindfolded, or when Genma walked around with a sharp, pointy and potentially dangerous object in his mouth; likewise, no one thought it was all too strange that Kakashi read porn at inappropriate times (by civilian standards anyway, as far as Tsunade was concerned, he could do whatever the hell he wanted as long as he got her missions done on time) or when Aoba wore dark shades in the dead of night.

But it was also common knowledge that however bizarre they might appear on the outside, ninja were always twice as messed up on the inside.

Kakashi, himself? He was the type of ninja that even Ibiki had trouble explaining, and over the many years that Ibiki had know him, he still had yet to figure the man out. When Ibiki first met Kakashi, he had met him as the ANBU Hound. Then, Ibiki was sure that Kakashi was no more than the living, breathing personification of the idealistic shinobi tool all ninja were trained to be. Kakashi was ruthlessly efficient on his missions and had a curt, professional air that only seemed to dissipate--slightly--around his closest comrades; who, at the time, were a very select few.

Though it couldn't be said that Kakashi was a completely approachable person now, nearing ten years later, it seemed that his entire personality took a 180 degree turn (for the worst or for the best was something yet to be seen, Ibiki had too much experience to ever think that a façade was not part of any jounin's repertoire).

Now, Kakashi's chronic tardiness reached improbable proportions and he read adult literature in mixed (and generally innocent) company; eight years ago no one would have ever believed that Kakashi would ever appear as anything less than the brutally effective ninja that he had trained himself so hard to become.

Oddly enough, no one ever found out exactly why Kakashi left ANBU.

I

Once home Kakashi set about making a quick meal for himself before starting his packing for the mission. (He'd ignored his hunger this morning and knew that it would be best if he assuaged it now; no matter how nonexistent his appetite was at the moment.)

Walking to his refrigerator door in slipper-clad feet he mulled over exactly what to eat, tapping a forefinger on his masked chin as he bypassed the many tin-foiled dishes he kept in there--God. Was that turning green?

Kakashi blanched, making a mental note to definitely clean his refrigerator out before he left, knowing that if he accidentally ate something off and got sick from it he would neverhear the end of it from his infuriating-–yet endearingly cute-–nin-dogs.

Kakashi hummed to himself, tapping his mask-covered chin with a forefinger as he settled on a plain looking cream dish tucked neatly between the beer and the day-old cabbage. He snatched it up and turned, closing the refrigerator door with a foot, and already lifting the corner of the tin foil to sniff the left-over yakitori don Ibiki had made for the impromptu jounin get together two days ago.

Despite popular belief, Ibiki was actually an excellent cook, something Kakashi had refused to believe until he was threatened by both Anko and Kurenai to, "Just try the freakin' thing Kakashi, you act like it's going to kill you!"

(Which, for the record was notsomething he wanted to hear from Anko, who had poisoned nearly half of the jounin population with her attempt to make dango. Even worse, he had been on a mission when the stomach virus--that oddly looked like the insipid field rations he had eaten for breakfast--reared it's ugly little head , and, in an uncharacteristic moment of vindictiveness, hoped that Tenzo was sick like a dog and spewing from both ends--the dango-offering bastard.)

Kakashi did eventually eat the curry that Ibiki had prepared, he had even been surprised to find that he liked it, and all things considered, he was relatively pleased with himself (his hair follicles especially-– Kurenai's grip was positively beastly).

Kakashi smirked, the irony certainly wasn't lost on him--Big Bad Ibiki cooks like a house-wife.

But, knowing the way the man made everything he did seem terrifying, and how at the sight of him, a veteran ANBU level ninja shat his pants, any and all jokes were left to the suicidal and stupid (or, Aoba).

Wonder if I can bribe him to make some more if I bring back that exotic seasoning he likes while on my way to Earth country.

After serving out a portion of his meal, Kakashi stuck it in the microwave, briefly wondering if he should bother summoning Pakkun; the pug absolutely loved "people food" (spoiled brat of a dog that he was) and Kakashi usually would give him his own little plate of food.

Ultimately Kakashi decided against it, he still hadn't forgiven Pakkun for shredding all of his masks last week; though, Kakashi never knew Pakkun was so sensitive. One little comment about his weight (he was a dog, do they even have inferiority complexes?) and he got so huffy about it. Pain in the neck.

In lieu of summoning his nin-dog, Kakashi ate quickly and standing up, tugging down his mask and deftly shoving in the yakitori with a pair of ornate chopsticks. After putting the plate in the sink and making a note to wash it later, Kakashi started to pack, walking over to the small closet in the far corner of the kitchen and removing his mission pack and spare flak jacket.

Kakashi took a quick glance at the Maneki Neko clock on his kitchen counter, noting that he had about two hours left before he was supposed to meet his team at the front gate.

It would be Kakashi's first team mission in months; aside from his mandatory missions with Team 7, Kakashi had always requested solo missions, something Jiraiya had always protested, shaking his head and always saying, "You can't do everything on your own, brat."

But as a ninja who had survived nearly 22 years of service (14 of them spent as a jounin) Kakashi knew very well the dangers of taking solo missions, and the benefits of having back-up when unfavorable situations can--and will--arise (Kakashi was a devout believer in Murphy's Law).

Despite this, Kakashi had alwaysperformed better on solitary missions (now that his team is gone), without having to worry about the safety of his teammates and whether or not anyone else but the dying enemy nin saw something they shouldn't have.

Even though Kakashi was well-known as a master of one thousand jutsu, and despite his moniker as the Copy Ninja, Kakashi had always preferred to give to himself the knowledge that he knew a bit more than everyone believed. Though Kakashi was sure that those who knew him well enough were aware of the fact that he was the son of the White Fang (however disgraced he was at the time of his death), and a student of the Yondaime--who was taught by one of the legendary Sannin--; most would surely be surprised to find that he knew a bit more than some regulation ninja parlor tricks.

But something still struck Kakashi as a bit odd about this particular mission...

Kakashi shook his head slightly and re-continued packing away his ANBU-issue chakra pills and poison tipped senbon (a gift from Genma for not telling Raido that he was the one responsible for putting itching powder in his underwear drawer).

As far as Kakashi knew (Or as far as I was told, Kakashi thought sardonically), this was supposed to be a routine assassination. He and his team were to infiltrate a village on the very outskirts of the Land of Earth, neutralize the target and return to Konoha. Kakashi also knew that the target possessed some sort of blood-line, but it was never studied and there were no first-hand witnesses, thus, no one really had any knowledge of what it did, or even what it consisted of. Even with the obvious caution that would have to be taken with a target possessing an unknown and potentially dangerous blood-line, there was no addendum to the mission briefing (which he had fished out of his pocket and was currently holding in his hand), nothing that even hinted at an unusually high level of danger.

Kakashi knew that he could just be over-analyzing things as he tended to do, but too many years of discipline and hardship only served to make him analyze more quickly and efficiently (and become deadlier). The possibilities were either that Tsunade considered this mission too difficult for him to carry out alone (which seemed highly unlikely because that hadn't stopped her from sending him on that suicide mission a couple months back that had left him in the hospital with a concussion and not a few broken bones), or that during this mission, there was a higher chance of psychological trauma and if alone, the nin in question would be more vulnerable than a group of specially trained ninja..

Kakashi was leaning toward the latter conclusion. In which case, his squad would most likely be formed of current or recently retired ANBU (most who had been out of ANBU for more than a few years were either useless or insane). They would be ninja specifically trained to cover all aspects of combat and field medicice, they would be ninja that would compliment him and increase the chances of this mission being completed successfully. Not least important of their skills, they would be more than capable to handle severe emotional distress and trauma, and be able administer drugs and perform hypnosis among many other more unorthodox methods used to stabilize a comrade.

But if that's the case, Kakashi mused, why didn't the Hokage just make this an ANBU mission? I've been out of ANBU for more than a few years; why is it so important that I be included on this squad?

Kakashi came up dry; and since there was nothing that immediately lept into the forefront of his mind, Kakashi decided that the best course of action was merely to file away the queries for later and keep his senses on high-alert until this mission was over and he was back in Konoha. If there was anything that Kakashi knew he could count on, it would always be his unfailing paranoia, something that had gotten him out of more problems than he could count; Kakashi knew that if he distrusted everything, he was bound to be right eventually.

Not more than fifteen minutes later, Kakashi was packed and ready to go, having already made his rounds about the house. His traps were reinforced, all perishable foods thrown away, the sheets of his bed turned down (something he had taken a habit towards doing when his lived with his sensei, who complained to him more than once that he always ended up passing out on the floor after his missions), and Mr. Ukki was left on the window sill of his elderly neighbor across the road (Kakashi figured that she'd never did notice an extra plant out of the hundreds that she kept).

With a cautious eye roving the room once more for anything he might have missed, Kakashi nodded in satisfaction and walked out the door for once, purposefully leaving it unlocked.

Walking out into the hallway, Kakashi deftly lept over the abused and rusted railing, forgoing the rarely used stairs in favor of landing directly on the first floor. With a cheerful wave and a smile at the bemused (and scared half-to-death) chuunin he had landed in front of (nearly taking off his nose), he was out the door--only to be stopped by a certain spandex wearing jounin whom he most definitely did not have time for.

"My Eternal Rival," Gai began, voice booming loudly as he jumped pirouette into Kakashi's way, already striking his patented 'Nice Guy' pose, "I have come to challenge you to a contest of one-fingered push-ups! Push-ups to symbolize Youth and Strength–"

Kakashi sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets and he shifting the pack on his shoulder as he interrupted Gai, "Can't. Mission."

Kakashi watched, amused, as Gai turned very interesting shades of maroon; half-expecting Gai to spout something about his Hip Apathy and Disrepectfulness. Kakashi was surprised when Gai merely smiled, teeth and glossy hair glinting in the afternoon sun, and stated--"When you get back."--before standing aside to let Kakashi continue on his way.

Kakashi didn't need to turn around to know that Gai was probably still stuck in that ridiculous pose of his, but, to humor the man he saluted him with two fingers before hopping onto a roof and disappearing in the distance.

When I get back, indeed.