Diet Coke
Chapter 2: "Yard Sale!"
Maureen was thirsty after she finished her beautiful cow sculpture. So she went to the fridge and grabbed a can of Diet Coke. "Eureka!" she cried, banging her head on the fridge. "Ow…"
Maureen sat down, looking through a big box of old phone numbers that she'd gotten. She pulled them out one at a time, finally coming to a receipt that said, "Elsie- 718-724-7873," across the bottom. 'Elsie,' she thought to herself. 'Sounds like a cow. The cow.' So she named the cow in her protest Elsie.
Later that day, Joanne came over to Maureen's house for no apparent reason. Maureen still had Elsie's number in her hand (she was amused by all the sevens). Joanne noticed it.
"Mo, what's that?" she asked suspiciously.
"Candy bar wrapper," said Maureen calmly, crumpling it up and throwing it away. "Check out what I've written so far!" She showed Joanne her paper.
Last night I had a dream
I found myself on a planet called Cyberland. It was dry.
My canteen had sprung a leak and I was thirsty.
Out of the volcano walked a cow - Elsie. I asked if it had anything to drink.
It said, "I'm forbidden to produce Diet Coke. In
Cyberland, we only drink ... milk.
She said, "Only thing to do is jump over my ass."
They've closed everything real down ...
like barns and troughs and performance spaces ...
and replaced it all with lies and
rules and virtual life.
But there is a way out..."
Leap of faith, leap of faith
Leap of faith, leap of faith
"Only thing to do is jump over the moon"
Leap of faith, leap of faith
Leap of faith, leap of faith
I gotta get outta here
It's like I'm being tied to the hood of a yellow rental truck,
being packed in with fertilizer and fuel oil, pushed over a
cliff by a suicidal Donald Duck.
I've gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta Gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta ...
Gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta
Find a way to jump over the moon
Only thing to do is jump over my ass
Leap of faith, leap of faith
Leap of faith, leap of faith
"Uh… Maureen?" said Joanne when she finished reading. "It doesn't make much sense… The whole thing about the cow unable to produce Diet Coke is unrealistic. And what is up with 'the moon' being replaced with 'my ass' randomly?"
"But Joanne, don't you love my ass?"
"Yes, but…"
"But WHAT!"
"The moon and your ass are not the same thing."
"Close enough," Maureen mumbled. "Hey Joanne," she said again. "Do you know what I'm gonna do now?"
"No, Mo, what are you gonna do now?"
"Go to a yard sale!"
"And where will you find one…?"
"Someplace!"
"In Florida."
"Shut up. Let's go."