Hey readers! Here's the next chapter!

Ziva sat down at Tony's desk and read the first number on the list. "Number one: Master the art of Kung Fu…"

"What do you think he means by that?" McGee asked.

Ziva narrowed her eyes, thinking, as she read the sentence over again and repeated it in her head. "How about this…"

Tony walked into the dojo wearing a white t-shirt with a pair of blue joggers. "I am ready for my lesson!"

A blonde woman with bright blue eyes looked up at him from her stretching position on the floor. She raised one eyebrow at him. "And who are you?" She got up slowly so that Tony could fully assess what she was wearing. She wore a black jacket with white string buttons that ran down the middle, holding the jacket together. The sleeves were long with white cuffs. Her bottoms were black, and she wore black flats on her feet.

Tony flashed her a smile. "I'm Anthony DiNozzo."

The woman rolled her eyes at him as she walked over to a table that was situated at the side of the room. She looked through the book that was on the table. "Ah, yes. Mr DiNozzo. I've been expecting you…"

McGee shook his head. "No way, Ziva. Too normal." He gave her an incredulous look. "Don't you know him yet?"

Ziva smirked and handed him the paper. "Alright, what do you think it will go like?"

McGee smiled. "Well…"

Tony sat cross legged, breathing the fresh mountain air around him. He smiled. Sitting on a rock on a mountain was good.

"Tony-san."

Tony smiled and turned his head slightly, not opening his eyes. "Yes?"

"It is time for your training."

Tony nodded before getting up and heading inside to the training room. As he passed a mirror, he took a quick glance at himself.

He was wearing a long-sleeved black top with black trousers and a white belt around his waist. The top had white cuffs on it. Tony's head was what surprised him the most.

In order to not look out of place on the mountain, he had thought he'd have to shave his head regularly, so he bought a bald-cap. He smiled at the moustache and beard on his face that had grown long. Reminds me of Johnny English Reborn…

"Tony-san!"

Tony quickly started walking towards the voice. "Yes, Bob-san?"

The man frowned. "My name is not Bob. It is Fred." He motioned for Tony to walk over. "Now, come on, Tony-san. Your teacher awaits."

Ziva was listening intently. "No wonder you are a writer, McGee. I love this story!"

McGee smiled. "Thank you Ziva."

"So, what happens next?"

"Well…"

Tony smiled and bowed respectively at the teacher in front of him. "I am sorry for my lateness, Jimmy-senpai…"

"Jimmy?" Ziva exclaimed. "Why Jimmy?"

"It's meant to be a funny, exciting story, Ziva. Not a boring one where you can predict what'll happen!" McGee argued.

Ziva sighed. "Fine, then. Continue."

McGee nodded. "So then…"

Jimmy frowned. "You are late, Tony-san."

Tony bowed his head in shame.

"Never mind. Stand here," he motioned for Tony to stand in front of a masked person in front of him.

Tony did so. "Am I going to fight?"

Jimmy nodded. "For you to succeed, you must strengthen what is weak, harden what is soft. And for that, you will need an opponent specialized in improving those."

Tony frowned. Strengthen what is weak… harden what is soft… Those better have not meant what he thought they meant.

"And your opponent shall be…" he said as he lifted the mask.

A young woman's face was revealed. She was blonde with deep brown eyes, her hair hung in curls by her face. She was about five feet five inches tall, quite slim, and wore a long sleeved white top with white bottoms, and a black belt was tied around her waist. She wore black flats. She smiled sweetly at Tony and bowed.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Tony-san."

Tony laughed. "Ok, is this some kind of joke? How the heck am I supposed to fight her?"

"I am not here to fight you, Tony-san," the woman pointed out. "I am here to train you."

Tony frowned. "Train me? How are you going to train me? Fighting?"

The woman shook her head. She was getting a little irritated by this man. "No. By strengthening what is weak, hardening what is soft."

"But I don't even know what these phrases mean!"

The woman grumbled. "I will show you." She brought her leg back and forth in a swift motion, finishing with her foot hitting Tony's groin.

Tony groaned and bent over, his hands covering his sensitive parts as he fell to the ground in the fetal position. The woman looked over at Jimmy.

"Get him on the next flight to the States. He's not ready for this yet."

Ziva raised her eyebrow at McGee. "McGee, that ending was not exciting or funny."

McGee frowned. "Really? I thought that was pretty funny."

"My banana can do better than that."

McGee glared at her. "Fine. You try it."

Ziva smiled. "I will."

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A.N.: The quote - Our purpose here is simple – to strengthen what is weak, harden what is soft. – Johnny English Reborn