Disclaimer: Disney owns Kim Possible.

Revenge Is a Dish Best Served with Cookies

Kim and Shego stood in the doorway and listened as Ron read from The House at Pooh Corner to Kasy and Sheki. Shego had an arm around Kim, and the younger woman rested her head on the older woman's shoulder.

"He really does a great job with the voices, doesn't he?" Shego whispered.

"He'll make a great daddy," Kim responded.

"I'm trying to read here," Ron called over his shoulder, "a little more respect for the story guy and less chatter in the outfield."

"He's doing Piglet," Sheki explained.

"My fans are very demanding," he told Kim and Shego, and went back into Piglet voice as the two little girls giggled their appreciation.

At the end of the story the twins bestowed goodnight kisses on the adults. On their way downstairs Kim asked Shego, "How was your day?"

"Trust me, Pumpkin, you don't want to know about my day in law school. Ron, you got anything?"

"I think a blond was flirting with me in the library."

"But you thought of Bonnie and didn't respond, right?" Kim commented.

"Nothing definite with him and Bonnie," Shego reminded Kim, "and she's in California. He's not on a collar-and-leash. He can flirt if he wants."

"Ron wouldn't," Kim said loyally. "Did you?" she asked him.

He changed the subject, "How are things at Global Justice?"

"I didn't do... Hey, Will had a great story about Monique. I'll make tea and we'll talk in the living room."

"I'll, uh, make tea," Ron offered.

"I can so boil water," Kim protested.

"He didn't say you couldn't," Shego told her in a soothing voice. "That one unfortunate incident was an accident, a fluke which could never happen again in a million years. It wasn't your fault... But let Ron make the tea."

"It's just boiling water and tea bags," Kim grumbled. "No permanent injury to anyone."

Ten minutes later Ron came into the living room with steaming mugs of tea and a bag of Milano cookies (which was kept carefully hidden from small children) on a tray. He sat the tray on the coffee table, took a mug and cookie and sat on the chair. Kim and Shego, sitting on the couch, took their own refreshments and Kim began the story of Monique and Will's weekend at a bed and breakfast in the White Mountains.

"He worships her, doesn't he," Shego chuckled at the end of the story.

"Was that in their wedding vows somewhere?" Ron asked. "Spousal duty or something?"

"Will should worship her," Kim insisted. "Getting someone as wonderful as Monique to marry a boring guy like him?"

Shego turned to Ron, "Getting back to your spousal duty thing, I certainly don't feel worshiped."

"I think that falls under the category of false gods," Kim told her.

"See the abuse I put up with?" Shego asked Ron.

"The abuse you put up with?" Kim retorted. "The abuse you put up with? What about the Oz story you told the girls a couple weeks ago - with me as a thief?"

"I thought it was pretty funny," Ron chuckled.

"So did I," Kim admitted, "but that's not the point."

"Think I'm missing the point."

"The point is, when your spouse does that to you, you don't have to do the worship thing."

"Can you find that in our wedding vows?" Shego asked.

"I don't speak Hebrew," Kim reminded, "but I'm sure it's there. Maybe I'll get a real lawyer to check."

"Burn," Ron laughed. He turned to Kim, "I'm surprised you haven't done the revenge thing for the story. You said you would."

"I'm above such behavior," Kim announced in an elegant manner.

"I'll bet she couldn't think of one," Shego told Ron.

"Probably," Ron agreed.

"Yeah," Kim sighed.

Shego turned serious, "What's the problem?"

"Couldn't get an idea I liked. Red Riding Hood with you as the wolf, but the wolf gets killed at the end - the girls wouldn't like that."

"And I appreciate that," Shego commented. "Did you consider Red and the wolf shacking up? Lot of potential there for 'My what big' references in that story."

"A, inappropriate for three-year olds. And B, I think it's a life lesson about being afraid of strangers."

"Kim's right," Ron seconded.

"Yeah, I guess so," Shego conceded. "What I was thinking was more of an adult fairy tale."

"I gave up on Possible, Kim Possible too. I could make it with a G rating, but the twins wouldn't know it was a parody of James Bond. You'd have been a Bond girl."

"Hey, I don't do bondage. You know that."

"Not bondage," Ron started to explain. "See, in a lot of the movies there's–"

"I know, Ron," Shego told him. "Private joke between Kim and me."

"What does it... Never mind."

"I just couldn't come up with a good story with two strong female characters to twist," Kim admitted. "Wish I'd watched more bad television - Xenia and Buffy. But Kasy and Sheki wouldn't know those."

"Any Disney stuff?" Ron suggested.

"Think about it, Ron," Kim replied. "Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, the Little Mermaid – they're all waiting for their Prince Charming. Their lives are incomplete until a handsome nobleman sweeps them off their feet. Jasmine is already a princess, but needs Aladdin. Mulan and Pocahontas get handsome commoners. Who is that girl in the frog movie?"

"Tiana."

"Her... Was he a real Prince or not."

"Disney is not the solution," Shego intoned in a solemn voice. "Disney is the problem. Let's not limit it to Disney though. Look at all the movies, novels, and fairy tales. Strong women aren't allowed. The female character, even if she is the protagonist will–"

"The pro-what?" Ron interrupted.

"Protagonist, the main character in the story - like Snow White, Mulan, and those other Disney chicks. They may be the main character. Some of them have smarts or courage – but their life is not complete until Prince Charming arrives. Then they spend the rest of their lives devoted to him. Guy protagonists don't have to get married. They can stay single, have more adventures, screw other women in the next movie if they–"

"Shego," Kim hissed, "language."

"The kids aren't listening. And I could be much more vulgar. Anyway, the point is there's a conspiracy by the patriarchy. Keep repeating the subliminal barrage in every Disney flick and fairy tale – the message to girls: 'Your life isn't complete until you get married to some guy'."

Ron wasn't sure that was true, but decided, as the proud owner of a Y-chromosome, his opinion wouldn't count for much in the discussion and decided to say nothing.

"It's not that bad," Kim protested. "I grew up on Disney."

"Yeah, and you blush when I use the word screw. I swear, if they had some series with a girl who was smart, independent, brave, and adventurous they'd probably hook her up with some schmuck at the end of the series just to show that brains and talent mean nothing to a girl unless she can get some guy to fawn all over."

Kim smiled, "They should do one where she ends up with another girl."

"Hell, even if the writers wanted to do it the studio wouldn't let them."

"Hey, I have an idea," Ron interjected. "Kim was willing to change herself to a guy for a James Bond parody, she–"

"I wasn't turning myself to a guy," Kim explained, "I was a woman – Possible, Kim Possible."

"Oh, well, anyway, I was thinking you could still do one of the Disney movies for a bedtime story with the girls. Only instead of Kim Red being awakened by a kiss from Prince Charming, she gets awakened by a kiss from Princess Shego."

"That's an idea," Shego laughed.

"No way," Kim told him.

"Why–"

"She had me as a thief in her story remember? I dropped a house on Zita and stole things. She was the wicked witch and she was the nicest person in the story."

"Well," Shego shrugged and suddenly lunged against Kim, who sat beside her on the couch. Kim fell to the side, with the pale woman on top of her. "We could go back to, 'What big beautiful eyes you have.' 'The better to see you with.' And 'My what luscious lips you have'," Shego purred with a throaty whisper, leaning closer to Kim to kiss her.

Kim put her hand on Shego's shoulder and pushed her away, gently but firmly, and then sat up. "Still need to work out some of the details, but Aladdin might work. I can be the noble princess Jasmine." She looked over at Shego, "And you're a natural for a street rat."

"She was naive and needed him to save her ass," Shego pointed out, then leered, "and you've got a very nice ass."

"Street rat," Kim repeated, but leaned slightly toward Shego.

"Naive," Shego repeated, leaning towards Kim.

"Street rat," leaning closer.

"Naive," their lips almost touching.

Kim might have said, "Street rat" again. Ron couldn't tell. The redhead's tongue was not in her own mouth at the moment. He sighed and took another Milano cookie. While not positive he suspected this was not a story appropriate for three-year olds.

Ron finished the cookie before the kiss ended. "Well, uh, I guess I'll... uh, go up to bed."

Shego and Kim ended their clinch, laughing. "We were only doing that to embarrass you," Kim giggled.

"Speak for yourself," Shego snorted. "I happen to like kissing you."

"And I love you too," Kim said, patting her on the cheek, "but I think we were seeing how long we could go before Ron said anything."

"Yeah, that too," Shego agreed. "So, you'll do Aladdin?"

"I don't know. I'm not wild about it, but I'm having trouble. Velma and Daphne from Scooby-Doo? I mean, neither one is really very bright when they keep falling for fake monsters and ghosts. Comic books? Veronica Lodge has a streak of evil and Betty Cooper is a good girl - but what do they do? They fight over a guy."

"How about..." Ron started to suggest. "Never mind."

"What's wrong?" Shego asked.

"Trying to think of super heroines, but seems like they've all got boobs like volleyballs now and wearing outfits too small and tight. Not appropriate for the twins."

"Bet you had fun doing the research," Shego chuckled.

"Hey, I was at Jim and Tim's apartment. I don't... Shrek!"

"Shrek?" Kim asked puzzled. "Which one of us is the ogre?"

"Okay, not Shrek Shrek, but Shrek as nasty repulsive guy until he falls in love and wants to make her happy. Hey, Monique made Will almost human."

"Redemptive power of love," Shego nodded. "Lot of stories like that. Even Mr. Darcy had problems until Elizabeth cured him."

Ron began, "I was watching a movie once on TCM instead of doing homework and–"

"Just once?" Kim asked.

"Okay, a lot. But once there was this movie, Mr. Lucky, with Cary Grant and... someone... and–"

"Someone?" Shego asked.

"I'm almost sure it wasn't Myrna Loy. Anyway, he was a petty crook, but after he fell in love with her he got his life together."

"I like the idea," Kim said.

"I was no petty crook," Shego growled.

"I may not do the movie. But I like the idea." Kim winked at her partner, "Any chance I'll get lucky tonight?"

Ron sighed, "Not a story for three-year olds."