Every three steps a Pidgeot, and every four a Rattata.

No trainers at all, just a sweet hike to Viridian city. It feels kind of empty after a while, if not for its short distance.

Along the way there is only so much people I could talk to. A fellow trainer who doesn't seem to battle, a helpful old man giving advices about short hills and how you can just jump over them. A man who talked about his problem over the often occurence of wild pokemon, and a girl who seemed to be distant.

A little bit battered by a strong-willed Pidgeot, I looked at the wooden sign just after the entrance of Viridian, it says: "Check out the Pokemon Center. Get free heals for days" and so I did.

Upon entering the huge building with the pokeball logo on its entrance, I gasped.

"First time?" Said a blonde girl on one corner where a strange counter with an ATM resides. "You really need to go out more, Crow," I instantly swallowed. It's not even night-time and she already came to haunt me, that damned dead vampire girlfriend of mine. She trailed off to an empty table where we can sit and I followed. As soon as we are comfortable, she asked something rethoric, "Don't you think that this facility is unnecessarily big?" Or not.

"It's weird, Cindy."

"Yes, it is. Let me give you a tour, so you can get comfortable." With her chair rattling, she stood up. Her hand luring me in like a golden cat on the window of an oriental drugstore. "Come, come! It's only once in a lifetime I could show you around a PokeCenter. Don't waste it!"

"Alright, alright." I conceded and followed her to the front reception. I am now facing a girl in a nurse outfit. I have a nagging feeling that I have known of this nurse since forever, but my mind drew a blank. I guess she just feel like mother. "Here is the front-reception. There is always a nurse on stand-by and behind her is a machine that will heal all six of your pokemon. Give her five seconds."

"F-Five seconds?" I screamed. "For six pokemons?"

"I know, right?" Cindy grows excited as she began to squeal. "Human technologies are amazing! I wish I am still alive or something!" She turned to me to gesture her whole body, and I began to frown, or at least I am about to, before she continued excitedly. "Anyway, this nurse here is really sexy isn't she? Hey, nurse, do you know where I can get your clothes? What's your phone number, and what are your three-sizes? I'd say your bra is at least a C, wait, no. I'd say it's a D. It's a D, right?" She bombarded, making my palm instinctively slapping my forehead.

"Miss, I'm going to call security for sexual harassment."

"Can you call the security after I'm done showing my boyfriend around? It's kind of important," The vampire negotiated, which made the nurse reluctantly nod. "Great, now, your pokemon, darling!" She opened her palm, expecting me to give Storm willingly to her.

"I can hand it to her myself, you know," I have the nurse pick up the ball and healed Storm. Literally five seconds later, the nurse came back from the machine with my Storm fully healed. What is this technology? I roughed up my pocket to pull out my wallet containing around 3000 doughs, but the nurse pointed at a sign behind her, which says: "Free heals for days" with a sour face. "I appreciate it sir, but we're a charity organization and doesn't accept any tips. Have a nice day... now get your girlfriend out of my face before I'm calling security."

"I'm not sure the security is still alive though," Cindy's palm is on her cheek, as she giggled darkly while looking thoughtful. "Thanks for referring me as his girlfriend though. With that, you get to live another day! Isn't that great?"

The nurse looked at her funny.

Then she looked at me as if I belong somewhere in the pits of an asylum.

"Is she always this random?"

"I can't escape her," I sighed. "I'm too attached."

"What?"

"You've also saved your families, isn't it great?" The vampire jumped in joy.

"...What?" the nurse stopped mid-call and her eyebrow is going into the ceiling. "I'm not sure I follow, but I swear to god—"

"W-We're going!" I quickly grabbed Cindy's hand and went for the machine on the right-side of the PokeCenter.

A one-person booth consisting of an ATM-like machine which is able to hold up to six pokeballs on its compartments. A touchscreen indicated the system being at least user friendly and is easy to learn, though how the pokeball compartment works still puzzles me. Quickly, Cindy taught me about the functions of the PC. Taking and moving items through a chute that will be digitalized, as well as pokemons, but the service is not available yet since I haven't caughted any. Currently, all I could do is take a potion from my own PC before logging out and watch as Cindy finally pulled me to the escalator.

"You don't need any of the second floor's functions."

"But," I interjected. "Isn't the second floor kind-of important?"

"Yes."

She took me back to the table, now we're sitting the opposite.

As she revel on how warm the cushion is, I'm feeling a strange feeling of dread as the cold seat quickly warned me about death flags over death flags. I mean, in-front of my eyes is the incarnation of fire and darkness herself. The undefeated, the dreaded, the penetrator, the sadist, omitted, omitted, redacted, etc, etc, the kindling fire in everyone's heart at a winter's morning, the candle on the window on a cold dark winter's night, the lord that rule over the floors of Tartarus and the girl who accidentally let one out in the heaven sermon... but mostly, she is known as—

I take a look at her one more time, confirming her existence. The existence that is too busy trying to lick its nose and succeeded with flying color. She notice me looking and presented her regal self onto me.

"I did it, Crow!" She said with a tongue stuck on the tip of her nose. Making her voice sound like a quacking goose. "I did it!"

"Yes you did Cindy,"—Queen of the Infinite Abyssal Horror Archdemon of Infernal Terror, Sunder Knight of Drought and Famine, Cinder Blackcauldron. "Yes, you did," I giggled along with Cindy.

"Oh, kid. You're the one Prof. Oak asked me to give this Parcel, right? Red hat, confident look. You're basically playing the part, kid!"

"Um... thanks?" I moved in closer to the counter, and grabbed the package the clerk handed to me. "So... what's inside it?"

"Balls."

"Ew." I choked, my head slowly distancing a 20-yard with my hand almost dropping the package. I stopped to think what to say, it's either this or something else, and I choose something else. "Ew."

"It's just PokeBalls, man. You know, those things you use to catch pokemons? Come on man!"

I gasped. "Oh! Of course!"

"Geez, man, what are you? Ten?"

"I am ten," I embarassingly remarked. Tipping my head down a bit as I said it. "All I need to do is get this parcel back to Prof. Oak, right?"

"Bingo." The clerk rubbed his moustache. "Now get going kid."

I nodded, walking out with the parcel. As soon as I got out, I instantly hold the package with the utmost care, thinking of it like an inaluable game console always helped, especially when I'm jumping small hills and such. Although, since I could rest at my home, I decided to train Storm while I'm at it, until I think he's sufficiently powered up enough to battle a behemoth of a pokemon and win. After stepping out of the last grass meeting a Ratatta who can tackle really hard, I ran straight for my house, in case someone decided to want to battle with me or something. I can't shake off the feeling of dread.

I opened the door to my home and crowed. "Hey mom, I'm home."

"Welcome home son. How's your work out working out?" She giggled before a pot of, what I assume from the smell, spaghetti. "I knew you'll be back soon, so I'm making your favorite. Meatball Spaghetti with Tomato Sauce," She turned to me and noticed something, and she giggled with her hand covering her mouth. "Oh my, is that a pokemon you have? I guess I have to thank the professor later. So, what did Oak give you, son?"

"Storm!"

"I didn't recall a pokemon with a name like that."

"Oh, whoops. I mean, a Squirtle named Storm," I corrected. "Mind if I let it out and have him eat with us?"

"Of course!" Mom declared. "I'd like to see it myself. A pokemon, huh? It's been too long for me. I think it was ten or twelve years ago..." her voice muttered somewhere.

I gazed at Mom, letting out Storm on the couch.

"My, he sure is... blue," She laughed. Drawing on a blank on what to express. "But, I see that he thinks of you highly, Crow. Treat him well, okay? Just as much as you treat your other pokemons."

"Other pokemons?"

"You can hold up to six of them," She giggled. "Come on, son. You should know better than that."

"Mom, I've been a trainer for less than ten hours. Give me some slack."

"Alright, alright," Mom went back to the pot and brought back three plates of spaghetti for lunch. It is delicious. The sauce can be a little bit too thick, but I love it. I looked at Storm and he's raring to go for seconds with a dumb grin as if replying my gaze. I chuckled before drinking the soda pop on the table. "How's the spaghetti?" Mom asked, sitting opposite of me.

"It's great," I shouted. "I love it!"

Mom grinned. "Come back soon, okay?"

I nodded before I exited the house.

"Smell ya later, loser!"

"Perv." I loudly berated.

I don't get it. What does CUNT see in me? I never give him any animosity before, and we never even get to be acquinted, much less being friends with each other. I can feel tensions coming from him, but tensions of some other kind. So many things pass by my mind right now, but those things are some of the things I'd rather not think about.

I'm ten, those sort of things aren't supposed to be pondered by a boy my age.

"Oh, right. Crow," Oak called. "Here's some pokeballs. I'm indebted to you, so about five of them would do."

"Selling yourself kinda cheap, don't you?"

"I give my niece five, and so you'll also get five."

"Fair enough," I bowed. "Thanks Oak. See you soon."

Oak nodded.

I walked out of Oak's house and went to Amy and Diana's house. They're sisters, both already attending middle school. I said goodbye to them before I'll see them again sometime soon, and they both rewarded me with uncomfortable kisses on my cheeks.

I went out of their house and went for the final house before my journey truly starts for real.

CUNT mentioned that his sister has a map, and I intend to get it, even if I die.

Entering the house, I swallowed.

Sitting on the chair, is Daisy Oak. She turned to look at me with resentment, but it had a mixture of longing... I think. Daisy is a mature girl. At least, for her age. I've had suspicions before, but having the name Oak proves my suspicion. Last time I talked to her, three months ago, the same day she moved in, she said that she's the granddaughter of a famous pokemon professor. The description matched.

"So," Daisy started. "You said that my lil' bro's name is CUNT to gramps, didn't you?"

"Yeah, and I'm here for the town map..." I froze to think, before realizing something wrong with what she just said. "CUNT's your lil' bro? Then doesn't that make him Oak's grandson?"

"Duh!" Daisy insulted.

"Well gee, now I feel sorry for that guy."

"Really?" Daisy looked up.

"No. He's a CUNT," I laughed. "Now, I came here for my town map. You have one, don't you?"

"Take it, you earned it," Daisy screamed, as she throws the map square to my face. I managed to caught it, but it makes my palm stings. "My gramp is already wrong in the head, you don't need to add another gallon into his messed up head! My bro's name isn't CUNT, it's—"

"Yeah, thanks for the map, Daisy."

"I hope you got bitten by a Ratatta and die!"

"Thanks a lot!" I turned around, "Oh, and by the way, your 'bro' is a massive pervert! How dare he smell me without my consent! He goes up close and personal and then he smelled me by my ear! He's smelling my hair. Can you believe that guy!?"

"...Okay, that's just wrong," The girl conceded. "Look, if it makes it up for you, I'm sorry for throwing a hard metallic object straight to your face."

"You think?" I grumbled. "Oh well, thanks for the map, Daisy. I'm going to go on a journey all over Kanto now, wanna come with?"

"Pfft, hell no." Daisy chuckled. "I hope you die on your journey."

"Thought so."

A/N:

Thanks for the review, I'm not really a funny person. I just like to write kinky shit right now.

Edited because continuity.

SaberMacro, out.