It was just another day in Teufort. Medic's doves were singing, the sun was ruthlessly beating down on the desert, and a battle had just ended in a tremendous loss for the BLU team. The strategy involved blowing stuff up, it was a really brilliant and well thought out plan!

The RED team was piling into the common room while Pyro cooked dinner. It was all normal until a loud howl pierced through everyone's ears.

"What on Earth was that crap?!" Scout shouted, his ears were ringing. It was like when you wake up to your alarm clock, but you're too tired to move, so you just let it ring but then you finally get up because you're starting to lose any bit of sanity you have, and you end up late to work.

Now, a normal person would have taken a gun when investigating it, they brought five guns, a flamethrower, and a box-full of grenades. At least they were protected. They followed the sound of the howl to the sewers.

"I ain't goin' down there! Hardhat, you go!"

"No way, boy. I don't feel like getting eaten today."

"Leetle men are cowards, we all go."

"Heavy is right, if we split up we'll eventually all die, like in the movies." Soldier stated in his it's-a-fact voice, "Now once we get down there, we'll split up into groups of three and search every crevice of that goshdarn sewer." *note, he may or may not have said 'goshdarn'*

So they split up, Heavy, Medic and Sniper took the left tunnel, Soldier, Engineer, and Scout took the middle tunnel, and Spy, Demo, and Pyro took the right tunnel.

(left tunnel)

"Doktor?"

"Yes?"

"What do you think howl was?"

"Probably a dying animal." Medic shrugged.

"Never heard an animal like that before." Sniper was sharpening his kukri as he walked through the poo tunnel of doom towards almost certain death.

"Maybe it is leetle BLU Spy, playing another trick."

Before anyone could respond, the tunnel was filled with an unearthly screech. The three had to cover their ears, or else they'd probably start bleeding.

"Who's there!?" Heavy called out once the screech stopped.

No answer.

"If it's BLU Spy…" he threatened, but there was no response.

"Do we keep goin'?" Sniper asked, willing to leave whatever was down there alone, not that he was scared or anything...

"Yes, we must silence this thing. We shall keep its pelt as trophy and hang it on wall!" Heavy revved up Sasha (his minigun) and continued to follow the tunnel.

(right tunnel)

Demoman wasn't comfortable being stuck with two masked lunatics, but his curiosity caused him to ignore it. He had always enjoyed the paranormal, and if he was able to capture I whatever this was, he'd become famous. He smiled at the thought.

"Hyy Dmo?" Pyro poked him on the back, forcing him out of his thoughts. "Wtt du yu thnk ss mkng tuh nuzz?"

"Hmm… Not sure, maybe a ghost, probably not sasquatch…" He scratched his chin, "Might just be a banshee…"

"Sasquatch? Ghosts?" Spy raised an eyebrow, he wasn't having too much fun down in the smelly sewers of uncouth-ness, maybe insulting someone would help. "You actually believe in that stuff?"

"Ye don't?"

"Of course not, those are only stories you tell children to get them to behave."

Demoman began laughing so hard his eye began to water, but before Spy could say something else, a faint screech was heard from further down the tunnel, and a bit to the left.

"Du yuh thnk we shd guu fnd it?" Pyro was perfectly okay with leaving, as fast as possible, then blowing up the sewer.

"Of course lad!" Demoman slapped Pyro on the back, "Don't worry, we've got weapons. Ye'll be safe!"

(middle tunnel)

"Ugh, this place reeks." Scout complained, "When do we kill this thing and get outta here?"

"As soon as we find it!" Soldier was almost as excited as Demoman; he loved destroying stuff "We'll teach that thing the consequences of screaming in our sewers!"

They heard a screech from somewhere forwards and to the left.

"W-what the heck was that?" Scout shuddered.

"Our target!" Soldier grinned psychotically, "Let's get 'em boys!"

Engie and Scout jogged after Soldier as he charged through the tunnel towards the source of the sound.

(left tunnel)

The three stooges approached the source of the cry, which was hunched over in a corner. It was in the shape of a young girl. Its skin was a sickly grey color, and was obviously rotting. Its hair was stringy, and probably hadn't been washed in, like, a month. It, unfortunately, wasn't wearing clothes, so our lucky mercenaries got to see every inch of rotting, slimy, filthy skin. It had hollow spaces where eyes should have been in said holes were an eerie red glow; otherwise its face was pretty human looking. Its arms were unnaturally long, and ended in long, sharp, yellow fingernails. It smelled sort of like an old t-shirt you drop in the back of your closet, and when you discover it years later, it's got holes and stuff in it, and you can only assume it's been keeping a family of moths alive all this time, not to mention all the mold, mildew, and other stuff that's attached to it.

The thing let out a very, very high pitched screech, and started attacking Heavy by flailing its arms at him. A strange, but surprisingly effective tactic; Heavy was covered in scratches before he was able to fire Sasha. When he was able to fire, the bullets sunk into the attacker's skin, and a boiling black liquid poured out. It let out another screech as it collapsed into a puddle of ooze.

"What…" Medic, who was hiding (bravely) behind Heavy with Sniper, was just starting to comprehend what happened.

"I do not know…" Heavy leaned over to inspect the leftover sludge.

"That it?" Sniper looked around, he was almost disappointed by this anticlimactic turn of events; luckily Soldier charged in to make everything more interesting.

"Where is it?!" Medic had to duck as Soldier swung his gun around.

"It is dead." Heavy pointed to the puddle.

Soldier was visibly disappointed; he really wanted to shoot something.

"Do not worry, you can shoot leetle BLU's tomorrow." Heavy patted him on the back, "But for now, we wait for the rest of team."

Once the team regrouped, they made their way back up. Demoman was the last one out; he was still inspecting the ooze. He couldn't shake the feeling that he'd seen it before. Before he was able to investigate further, he was forced to leave with the rest of his team so he wouldn't get lost.

~0~

Present

~0~

"Wait, so you just left?" the person asked, "You didn't investigate at all?"

"Aye, that's my team for ya. Only care 'bout the solution, nothin' else." Tavish laughed, "Came back to bite us in the rear a week later…"