II
The hold itself was rather large, spanning the entirety of the ship, however the sheer number of people inside made it hard for him to maneuver. People to his left shamelessly engaged in all kinds of sexual activities, people to his right danced with abandon. In front of him, people laughed and drank, constantly tapping what seemed like endless kegs. Zack wanted to know where it all came from, he wanted to know how they even broke into the hold in the first place, but he realized it didn't even matter. He was there, and he wasn't alone.
From a few yards away he shot a nod towards a skater punk who always seemed so cool with his baggy jeans and no-name band shirts and shouted, "What's up, Alex?"
The kid just shook the hair that wasn't in his eyes out of his eyes and nodded back. "'Sup Cody."
"I'm Zack," he shouted back, trying not to let the mistake bother him as much as it did. Under no circumstances did he want to be confused with his brother.
"My bad, dude. You look a ton like your brother."
Zack frowned. "We're twins."
"Oh. Legit." Alex left without another word and somewhere from the crowd, he grabbed a girl who draped herself over him, ready to be taken back to a cabin.
With a bit of envy, Zack picked up one of the red plastic cups that littered the floor and smelled its long-dried contents. Beer. He looked into the golden stain in the bottom of the cup for a long time, contemplating, eyebrows nearly pressed together, before a thin smile spread across his face and he dropped the cup back onto the ground, fully content with the rest of his night's plans. He was moving to a keg, heart beating faster than he would have liked, before he even knew it.
As he reached a keg and filled his cup with golden liquid he couldn't help but think about what Cody would say, or Max, or Maddie. He tried to push the thought out of his head but their voices kept echoing in the emptiness and he couldn't do anything about it. With a certain conviction he decided he needed a drink. He needed a drink because that's what you did at parties. He needed a drink because everyone else had a drink. He needed a drink to forget about his disease, his memoires of Maddie and Max and Maya. He looked around again and noticed more people. There was a couple kissing violently, hands meandering the other's body without a care in the world. They may as well have been tearing the other's clothes off. Zack smiled. It reminded him of Maya. There was another couple behind them with a larger group who kept stealing smiles and glances at the other knowing full well whose arms they would fall asleep in. Suddenly, something broke inside him as he realized everyone was with somebody, and while he wasn't alone in his cabin anymore, now he was just alone in a massive group of drunken students. He couldn't decide what was worse.
"I think you filled her up, bro."
Zack snapped out of his trance, feeling the sticky liquid pouring out over the brim of his cup and over his hand and onto the floor. Embarrassed, he laughed and turned to the boy behind him, "Don't want to miss a drop if you know what I mean."
The boy laughed and slammed his own cup into Zack's sending the top fifth of his drink onto the floor, but it didn't matter to him because now Zack wasn't alone. Not stopping to let the smile melt from his face, he cocked his head back and downed as much of the liquid as he could in a few gulps.
He fought back a face as the warm, skunky beer finally registered with his taste buds, smiling to the other boy. "Hits the spot."
The boy nodded and meandered off, half dancing and half walking. He didn't have to get far before the massive, pulsating throng of people swallowed him up. Watching the boy disappear and leave Zack alone again, he didn't even notice the couple approach him from behind.
"Zack, what are you doing?"
Cody. Zack narrowed his eyes wondering what his goodie-goodie brother was doing at this party. He sighed heavily, pretending to be exhausted with the question because what else would he be doing? "Partying, bro."
"I can see that. Where have you been? I've been looking for you."
Zack thought for a second and pointed vaguely behind him, "I've been hanging with them. I've been here for a while." Something about the nature of his answer made him proud, but embarrassed at the same time. He ignored the thought. "What's up?"
Cody pointed to the girl draped over his shoulder, "Bailey's up. She's totally wasted."
She laughed and slurred, "I'm not wasted. I just had a few drinks. I'm fine, Cody. Don'cha know farm girls can drink just fine?"
Zack laughed with her and slapped her on the shoulder. "I always knew you had it in you, Bailey!"
There was no mistaking the mischievous glimmer in Zack's eye, but Cody wasn't impressed. "Don't encourage her. I've never seen her like this. She just let herself go. Zack, she's out of control."
"Well I just wanted one drink and I told him to come to the party to have a few drinks." It was like it was the simplest thing. "And then we could go back to what we were doing." She laughed devilishly and kissed his neck with the ferocity of a hungry vampire.
Zack smiled innocently at his brother, who was trying to pry the drunken girl off of him. "What is it that you were doing?" He tried as best he could to keep a level tone throughout the question, but he couldn't help but feel that the words had rushed out of his mouth too quickly.
Cody's response was far too quick, "Homework." The single word rang out like a shrill shout into the blackness and stillness of night before getting absorbed by the sounds of the teenage lust around them.
Zack nodded in disbelief, feeling something break inside him yet again. The feeling spread to his head and grew like a tumor, and he couldn't help but wonder how he was a ladies' man of seventeen years, alone, and his nerdy twin brother could stand with his girlfriend draped over his shoulder and obviously in the mood for a little fun. More itching fire in his fingertips. Nothing was fair.
"Homework, eh?" He tried to smile but when he realized how fake it was he raised the cup to his mouth and took a big gulp, avoiding eye contact.
Cody just scowled, "Yeah, what's it to you?" He wore his defensiveness on his face like a mask, dull and scary and confronting.
Zack just raised his arms in defeat; there was no need for another bout with Cody. He could only just refrain from cracking his knuckles awkwardly; aware of the increasing frequency of the fights they shared. He had tried to reevaluate his relationship with his brother, but Zack came to the conclusion that he was being replaced and he didn't know how he felt about that. He was torn, sad that his brother so obviously loved Bailey because he thought she was way too good for him anyway, but he was also happy that his brother so obviously loved the girl. He couldn't deny the fact that it was good for Cody to have somebody he trusted and loved enough to grow up a little bit with, but it was becoming harder and harder to not spit it back into his face because of the way he acted about it sometimes, making it the most obvious secret in the world.
To make up for their near-encounter, he handed Cody a pristine red plastic cup filled with beer. He wasn't at all surprised that Cody was absolutely sober. He wouldn't have believed anybody if they told him a single drop of alcohol had passed Cody's lips. Before he could protest, Zack patted him on the should and yelled over the music, "Have a beer. Loosen up," and reached for another.
Cody looked his brother in the eye for a second before dropping his inquisitive gaze to the swirling, white froth atop the golden-colored drink. Curiosity built quickly within him as he tried to imagine the earthy, golden taste of beer before realizing he had never tasted it. Not once. And he succeeded in convincing himself that if he put down this cup, Zack would never let him forget about his naïve innocence, which Cody tended to call his higher morals. The risks and rewards were too imbalanced, he decided, and he raised the cup to his mouth, abandoning every fiber of his better nature and disregarding their screams. Cautiously, he took a few large gulps, ignoring the flavor, if only to impress Zack. When Cody lowered the cup and licked the froth off his lips, earning a curious glance from Zack, he raised it back up to his mouth and continued ingesting the drink, relishing the warming sensation it had in his throat and stomach and all too aware of the peculiar taste: not necessarily good, but undeniably satisfying. When he lowered the cup, smiling, he could feel something inside of his own body snap and begin leaking out into the openness of night: a moral, but perhaps a burden. The cup was nearly empty.
Zack laughed, "Pretty good, huh?"
"It's alright," he said tentatively, but was reduced to silence, feeling compelled to finish what remained in the cup.
They paused and allowed the sounds of the crowd and the aroma of people and beer wash over them like warm waves, eye contact never faltering. They smiled. The smell wasn't exactly pleasant, sweat and warm beer, but as unspoken words passed between them, they silently decided to reach for another cup and fill it to the top.
"I never thought I'd be doing this," Cody said. "I'm drinking with my brother." Then he laughed with a prideful smile plastered across his slightly less innocent face. A very specific few words made his heart flutter. He was drinking for the first time, and he was doing it with his twin.
"You grow up so fast." Zack smiled, but his eyes remained dark. He already knew he was drinking for another reason, a darker reason. But a reason nonetheless, and that justified it. It had to. What else could?
By the time the moon was halfway to the horizon, they were shitfaced drunk and didn't even care because everybody else was too. Sometime during their drinking Bailey had disappeared without a word, slinking off into the busyness of the party. Zack asked Cody and he shrugged, but neither of them worried. Cody was sure she'd be okay, convinced by the alcohol in his veins. As he stood, he wavered like a skyscraper in the wind, frame bending at will to the invisible force. His eyes rolled groggily around in their sockets before he slumped onto Zack's shoulder, limp like a ragdoll.
Zack propped him up, a hand between his shoulder blades and another on his chest to support him. "Alright, buddy. Let's get you to your room."
"Zack, I don't feel so good."
"Well shit, Cody. You drank like you're Irish or something."
"Maybe I am. Hell, we live in Boston."
Zack stopped for a second, trying to process the almost incomprehensible words leaking out of Cody's mouth and giggled. It didn't make any sense. Cody was drunk.
"Why did I do this? Bring me to your room, Zack. I can't let Bailey see me like this," he slurred. He slung his arm around Zack's shoulder and tried to move his feet faster, feeling vomit rise in his throat. "I'm going to puke." He emptied the contents of his stomach onto the floor without giving Zack enough time to react.
"Shit, Codes! Watch out, you almost puked on me."
They continued walking, past the rows upon rows of cabins, past the blaring lights that adorned the ceiling. Neither of them was looking forward to the next day, fully aware that it would probably be the worst day of their lives. The small rumble of a chuckle started from Zack's core and rapidly spread to the rest of his body, nearly disabling him with hysterical convulsions. He couldn't imagine having drank as much as Cody had. In fact, he wasn't feeling that bad. After only downing a few glasses, he was undeniably impaired, but not as hammered as his brother, or his brother's girlfriend for that matter. Zack gnashed his teeth together, soundlessly in thought. An idea like a tiny snake crept its way into his head. He didn't like it, but at the same time there was a definite alluring quality to it. The snake took hold within him and took over his body, bones and blood and all.
Zack escorted Cody to his cabin, which he shared with Woody. The cleanliness of Cody's side was overwhelming. It seemed like there was simply nothing there. Cody had always been a nut about cleaning, but Zack had never seen a room that looked so un-lived-in. Upon entering the cabin Woody greeted them both with a smile and didn't try to cover up the fact that he was observing them both carefully. Ignoring his large friend's prying eyes, Zack laid Cody down on the bed and pulled off his shoes and socks. Then, he undid Cody's pants and removed them with a single tug before folding them and setting them atop the sock-filled shoes. He propped Cody up onto his side and jammed a pillow under his back.
"What's up with him?" Woody's question nearly made Zack jump. He had forgotten that he was even in the room.
Zack laughed, "He's fucking wasted."
"Cody is?" The surprise that laced the question was horribly evident. Zack wasn't the only person who thought Cody would never abandon his better morals, or whatever he called them.
"Yeah."
"You guys went to that party, huh?"
"Yeah." Even Woody knew about the party.
"I didn't expect Cody to ever do anything like that."
Zack shrugged and kept working on getting Cody calmed down, settled in the bed with the sheets pulled over him. The awkward angle he was laying at, being propped up by the pillow, didn't make it any easier. "He had fun. Make sure he doesn't sleep on his back. Keep this pillow shoved under there."
"Okay. Why'd you bring him here?"
"What do you mean? This is his cabin right?"
"Yeah. But why didn't you bring him to Bailey's room?"
Zack shrugged again and looked over the emptiness of his brother's side of the cabin again, an unsettling feeling growing in his stomach. "Why would I bring him," his voice tapered off. "This is just easier."
Woody didn't say anything, just went back to whatever it was he was doing on his laptop. He didn't even notice when Zack slipped out of the room as silently as he could. He had to find Bailey and make sure she got back to her cabin. Cody would never forgive him if Zack left her out there. He'd blame himself for the neglect too. It wasn't something Zack wanted to deal with.
He found her on the sky deck, nearly passed out, laying on one of the red lounge chairs, in full view of every passerby. At least she was safe, he thought. He approached her and propped her up, hoping he wouldn't have to carry her. "Let's get you back to your cabin, Bailey."
"But I'm just starting to have a good time." He could barely understand her.
"The party's over Bailey. Come on. Time for bed."
She obliged, not able to find the energy to argue with him further, and decided that she was fully capable of walking, which allowed Zack a brief moment of inward celebration before growing slightly annoyed at her never-fading sense of pride.
As she dragged her feet across the floor, her shoes made a horrible scraping sound that threatened to drive Zack mad. It repeated and repeated and he started to wonder if he had made a mistake in bringing her back to her cabin. Maybe I should have left her on the sky deck,he thought, but he decided that couldn't have been an option.
He fumbled with the knob for some indiscernible reason when they reached the appropriate room number, but he blamed it on her hanging over his shoulder and he could have sworn her hand was making its way down to his crotch. After a few seconds of debating whether or not he should let her continue, he shook his head and opened the door, pulling her into the safety and privacy of the room. He flipped the light on and couldn't help but notice Cody's laptop sitting on the bedside table. In a flash, his eyes scanned across the whole room, looking for signs of anything. He couldn't believe that Cody was actually staying in Bailey's cabin, even less that there was only one bed. He made a brief lap around the room, scanning as quickly and thoroughly as possible every nook and cranny. He even opened drawers of the bedside table and was horrified, but not entirely surprised, to find an open box of condoms. He swallowed the rising lump in his throat before turning to her, "Here you go, Bailey. Don't sleep on your back." Then he turned and headed for the door.
"Cody," she slurred incoherently, "where are you going? You're not going to tuck me in?"
Zack's mind raced. So many emotions welled within him in one moment. He didn't know what to do with them all. Recently, Cody and Bailey had been pissing him off beyond words, and despite his moment of peace with his brother, the night had not been kind to these sentiments, instead agitating them. Cody was supposed to be the nerd. He was supposed to be the socially awkward, scared of girls, little kid he had always been. The only thing Cody should be sticking himself in is a book, not a girl, Zack thought to himself, pleased with his cleverness. He gnashed his teeth together, aware that his knuckles were growing white with pressure. Cody wasn't a virgin. His brother had had sex with Bailey. The thought infuriated him. Cody had lost his virginity before he had.
"Come on Cody." She slipped her hands up under his shirt and placed a kiss gently on his lips.
Fuck it.
"I can tuck you in." He picked her up and set her down on the bed, removing his shirt and jeans before helping her out of her clothing. His plan was coming to light even faster than he had anticipated. She and Cody were making this far too easy for him.
They crashed backwards, onto her bed, lips pressed together. The passion with which she kissed him surprised him at first, indicating the strength of her and Cody's shared lust. The idea made him pull back; perhaps they really were in love, like Cody insisted they were. Attempting to remove any thoughts of his brother, he turned his attention to removing as much of her clothing as he could get his hands on. When she stood on her knees completely naked, supported on her tan and slender legs that sloped to form graceful hips, a sigh escaped Zack's throat. Her flat stomach and perfectly shaped breasts were too inviting. Cody didn't deserve a girl like this. He probably didn't even realize what a goddess he had.
As their sexual exploits became ever more heated, Bailey decided that this experience with her boyfriend was nice. Better than the rest of them had been, perhaps. It was a nice change. Usually Cody was so paranoid, asking her if she was comfortable and reminding her that they could stop if she was ever uncomfortable. She liked the sincerity and gentlemanliness of his efforts, but usually he was the one that caused them to stop. It had continued that way until they shared a terrible argument. Voices had been raised and things had been said that shouldn't have been. For the first time, Bailey had genuinely feared for their relationship. Eventually they had moved past it and decided to finally take their relationship to that level. Ever since then, they had booth been a little more forthcoming in their cravings for one another. This was different, however. Maybe it was the alcohol making him act differently, but Cody was much bolder, much more commanding. She liked it. He seemed like more of a man.
Zack only rolled to the side of her, glistening with sweat once she reached her climax. It had been her first time ever climaxing and the feeling had been so pleasurable it was almost uncomfortable. When the sensation ended, though, she wanted nothing more than to feel it again.
She found herself barely able to form words, "Cody, that was amazing."
Zack nodded his agreement, hardly able to believe that his first time had not only come after his nerd brother's, but with a girl who wasn't even his girlfriend. He had always expected that his first time would have come with Maya, but towards the end of their relationship it almost seemed as if she had gotten bored with him. The thought angered him. Bailey was much more attractive anyway, he decided.
Under the covers, she reached and closed her hand around his deflating penis and turned to him with a brief kiss, "I swear, it's bigger or something tonight." Another kiss. "You really used it right."
Zack grinned. Serves you right, Cody. Your girlfriend likes my cock more. He kept the laugh that swelled in his chest to himself. Any reservations that had made him regret sleeping with his brother's girlfriend evaporated. Everything had gone perfectly to plan. Not only was Cody passed out drunk in his cabin, he was no longer a virgin, and Bailey liked sex with him better than sex with Cody. The realization was bittersweet. He knew he couldn't brag about it to anybody.
"You're amazing, Bailey." He looked over and placed a kiss on her lips, but she was sleeping. He laughed, which quickly faded into a devilish look. Bailey was horribly intoxicated. Maybe she won't even remember this tomorrow,he thought. It was entirely possible.
He slipped into his pair of boxers, feeling on top of the world. He had a good feeling about his plan. There was a chance he'd get away with it. He slipped into his jeans. He had to get away with it. On the off chance Cody found out, their relationship would be ruined. They could never be friends afterwards. He slipped into his shirt, stealing a glance at the unconscious Bailey Pickett. He was starting to become aware that what he had done might be classified as rape. He remembered learning somewhere that if the other party isn't sober and able to make decisions properly, sex could be considered rape. The thought shot ice down his spine, but he ignored it. Bailey had been more than willing to have sex with him. She had advanced on him. If anything, she had raped him.
Maybe that's a bit of a stretch, he thought.
It didn't matter if it was rape or not, Zack decided. What he did had crossed one of the lines in his and his brother's relationship. He tried to put himself in Cody's shoes. What if I had a girl like Bailey and Cody got her drunk and fucked her?The answer didn't appeal to him. Zack assumed he would fly off the handle and probably do something to Cody that he'd regret later. The collar in his shirt was beginning to feel incredibly tight.
I have to cover this up.
He knew if Bailey did remember their adventure and brought it up to Cody the next day, Cody would remember that he had been brought to his and Woody's cabin and definitely hadn't had sex with his girlfriend. It wasn't likely Bailey would remember right away, but if she did ever mention it to Cody, everything was for naught. He had to put Cody to bed in Bailey's room and hope that, if Bailey did bring it up, Cody would simply think he couldn't remember.
He hurried back to Cody and Woody's cabin and opened the door just wide enough so that he could squeeze silently through. When he was in, he shrugged. Woody was the heaviest sleeper he knew, and Cody was knocked-out drunk. He shut the door and made his way over to his brother. Cody was sleeping the same position he was in when Zack left. Again, this was proving to be rather easy. He slid an arm under Cody's back and another under his thighs and tried to pick him up. He was reasonably light and Zack was able to pick him up a few feet above the bed, but he knew he wouldn't be able to carry him across the ship in this fashion. He needed help. There was perhaps one person on the entire ship that he trusted enough to help him with this, and he might be busy with his own girlfriend. Zack decided it was worth the risk. Mickey was the only person he could turn to.
On the contrary, Mickey wasn't busy with his girlfriend. Instead, he and Carley were lovingly curled up in each other's arms. Zack nudged the black-haired boy's shoulder and whispered his name.
Mickey picked his head up and looked around, confused when his eyes fell upon those of Zack, which were wide with concern, but glimmered with something else. "What?"
"I need your help."
"With what?"
"My brother." Zack swayed, but balanced himself before he fell over. He was much more drunk than he originally thought.
"What are you talking about?"
"I need you to help me carry him to somebody else's cabin."
Mickey slid out of his girlfriend's arms and swung his feet out of bed. Slipping into a pair of sweatpants, he stood and laughed. "Why?"
Zack couldn't help but laugh too. "I'll explain later, just help me out."
"Can't you just tell me? I mean, you woke me up, man."
"Dammit, Mickey are you going to help me or not? Let's go," he snapped.
Between the two of them, they were able to transport the unconscious boy with ease. Their only concern becoming answer questions if somebody asked them what they were doing. Fortunately, the sleeping ship didn't offer a single, questioning passenger. They entered Bailey's cabin and put Cody into the bed. Zack tugged off Cody's shirt and threw it on the floor, along with scattering his socks and shoes, throwing his brother's pants in another direction.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Let's get out of here. Do you mind if I sleep in the cabin?"
"That's fine." He laughed at Zack's energy. He was wound up more than Mickey realized was possible for a Zack Martin.
He set to the task of explaining himself to his friend when they returned safely to the cabin. To his great surprise, Mickey didn't ask any questions, just nodded understandingly. When Zack finished his story, he raised his gaze to meet Mickey's deep brown eyes, pleased to find that they weren't hostile or angry or disappointed in any way.
"What do you think, did I screw up?"
"You actually fucked your brother's girlfriend?"
Zack nodded, a frown growing across his face.
Mickey shrugged and sighed. "Yeah, it might have been a bad move, but it's understandable since you're drunk."
Zack made a face, "I'm not that drunk."
The reply made the shorter boy break into a fit of laughter that was quickly silenced as he tried to become serious. His lingering smile betrayed his efforts. "Trust me Zack, you're fucking wasted right now."
"If you say so."
"I think the best thing would be to forget about it. Either way, I'm going back to bed." He crawled back into bed with the girl who slept soundly, leaving Zack to his thoughts.
He fell back onto his own bed and struggled to situate himself comfortably under his covers. When he finally relaxed, letting his head nestle into the pillow, he immediately fell asleep, utterly exhausted.
Zack's dreams didn't allow him a clear mind. He spent the rest of the night struggling to get through dreams where he and Bailey would meet up in obscure places and do nothing but fuck. No words were ever exchanged in these dreams; instead, grunts and groans passed between each of them as effortlessly as a breath or a sigh. A particularly troubling dream took him through the rest of the night. He and Bailey were in her cabin, enjoying some rather frisky foreplay, when Cody walked in. He wasn't mad, though. Instead, he joined in. Zack woke with a gasp as he was sandwiched between the two of them, on both the giving and receiving end of a full erection.
.
Neither of them suspected he had done anything the night before. As Zack was let into Bailey's cabin, he was met with pained smiles. It was evident that both of them were tremendously hung over, but neither displayed any hostility or anger towards him. In fact, Bailey looked rather glad to see him. He didn't miss the way Cody's eyes ran quickly over the room to make sure there weren't any signs of intimacy. He did, however, realize that he was in the clear.