Female Revan version of Night of Surprises. Only a few minor differences.

"You sure you wanna do this?"

"Hell yeah,"

"Shepard…that's a pretty tall order."

"Stop being a wuss Garrus," She gave him a determined grin before turning back to her objective, the Turian sighed beside her before taking his own ready position. "Three, two, one, KILL IT!" Shepard grabbed the shot glass, throwing back the drink so fast she couldn't even taste it, she promptly grabbed the second one, destroying it in a similar fashion before finally grabbing the third. That one wasn't quite as easily obliterated. The second the liquid touched her tongue she knew that she had made a grave error.

"Oh fuck!" She shouted, through a fit of coughing, "That was one of yours! I'm dying!" It had tasted like ass! Damn Turians and their stupid weird digestive systems. She dramatically began gripping the bar in her death act. It was also a really nice cover because the room was spinning way too fast right now and she was probably going to go down anyway. "You killed me! You bastard!"

Those not in her crew gave her the same looks one would give a crazy person, but the dozen people she did know were all bursting into fits of laughter. She finally dropped the act as the room began to steady itself. She may have had too much to drink, way too quickly. But it was a celebration! And it didn't help that pretty much everyone had insisted on buying her a drink. That last round had been Jacks attempt to best her. Shepard grinned at the tattooed woman as they made their way from the bar.

"Nice try Jackie! Takes more than that to drop the likes of me!"

"I'll get you next time Shepard," Jack had a very evil grin on her face as she spoke.

"Bring it!" She stopped walking and turned back to face her rival.

"As your friend I am going to insist at least waiting a few minutes before doing something like that again." Garrus spoke up beside her, gently trying to steer her back to their booth.

"Fiiiine," She relented and allowed him to steer her through the crowd. It was probably a good idea anyway, she may be drunk off her ass, but she still knew her limits. "Now, where is my woman? I haven't grabbed her ass in like…five whole minutes!"

"Probably where we left him," Garrus said with a chuckle.

"Garrus, seriously, have you touched her ass?" She gave her friend the most serious looked she was capable of doing, whilst struggling to stand upright.

"What?! No!" Garrus squawked, his eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head.

Shepard couldn't hold in her giggle. "You should. Because seriously Garrus. Garrus, seriously, listen to me." She grabbed her friend by the shoulders to gain his full attention…and steady herself. "It. Is. The. Best. Ass. Ever."

"Let's get you some water." Garrus shook his head as he tried to steer her toward the booth. She let him, because the best ass in the galaxy was in that booth!

Revan was sitting at the booth, a few of the crew were there as well, drinking and chatting, Shepard was very quick to note that Revan hadn't touched her drink, but she was probably distracted by whatever her and Miranda were talking about. Shepard quickly made it to the booth and practically fell into the warrior rather than sit next to her. The damn room had started spinning again.

"I take it Jack got to you?" Revan asked arching one eyebrow. Damn she was sexy.

Shepard simply grinned at her. She thought about replying but got distracted by looking at her. It was a very rare sight, Revan was wearing real people clothes! Not her robes or armour. Of course Shepard had to buy that damn outfit for her and then practically beg her to wear it.

Well, bribe her. With sex. So she had really won twice! Revan was wearing a plain grey tanktop that hugged her very nicely, her breasts in particular. Her heavily muscled, tattooed arms were fully exposed for all to feast their eyes on. Bronze skin glowed beautifully in the dim lighting. Shepard had also managed to bribe the woman into a pair of tight black jeans that showcased powerful legs and previously mentioned galaxy's greatest ass. It was also one of the rare times Revan had her hair down. Beautiful, silky black waves that ended just past her shoulders.

"Sorry, you say something?" Shepard asked, finally snapping out of her fantasizing. She really couldn't wait until they got back to her cabin. Apparently the drunker she got the hornier she got.

"Nothing," Revan chuckled softly, shaking her head, causing her hair to bounce gently. "I should warn you, there's a conspiracy to get you drunk enough to dance. Joker is the mastermind behind that one."

"Of course he is," She was not going to get that drunk. Joker had quickly let everyone know what a terrible dancer she was and proclaimed it to be the 'most hilarious thing they will ever see in their lives.' But they didn't know her secret, the fools!

"I'm told it's quite the sight, I wish him success."

"Ass," She said, lightly shoulder checking the much bigger woman, well she more just fell into her again, but that was okay too, Revan made a nice pillow. Plus the room was still spinning a bit, now that those shots were really kicking in she really didn't want to stay upright, so she let herself just fall, her head landing in Revan's lap.

"Uh, Shepard, that's…uh that just looks wrong from over here." Said Jacob, although his laugh gave away his amusement.

"Spirits Shepard, at least wait until you get back to your cabin, I don't need to go blind." Added Garrus who sounded even more amused, likely because he had a nice opportunity to make fun of her drunken state.

"Nut kick Vakarian, that's two tonight!" She held up two fingers above the table to emphasise her point. Yeah it probably did look bad, considering she was face down in Revan's crotch. But she was too drunk to care, Revan's lap was comfy and she wanted to be comfy.

"Shepard!" Jack's voice was urgent and caused her to sit up and actually look at the speaker.

"What?"

"A group of bitch ass blue suns think they can out drink us!"

"Those sons of bitches!" She leapt up from the booth, how dare those mercenary pussies try and call them out! They had killed those fools by the dozens, hundreds even! "Jack, to war!" She quickly followed the tattooed woman through the crowd, they would teach these Blue Suns a thing or two.

They made it to the bar, where she spotted several members of her crew, but no mercenaries. She did however, see a collection of shots and drinks arrayed on the bar's surface. As Jack pushed her to the counter she realized what a grave mistake she had made. This was an ambush.

"You bastards," She muttered, looking at the collection of alcohol.

"Oh come on Shepard, you aren't even dancing yet, clearly you need to drink more." Joker could barely contain his laughter as he spoke, her expression must have been pretty funny.

"It's not gonna happen!" She said sternly, well as much as she could muster. She knew they would all keep hounding her until she did. Part of her wanted to just do it, another, deeper part wanted to reveal her secret.

"Oh come on! We paid for all these drinks, what else will it take?"

"I have something," She grinned as the master plan formed in her mind. "I'll dance, if you all help me get Revan drunk. And get her to dance!" Normally it would be an insurmountable task and everyone would realize it, but drunk people were far more agreeable than sober ones.

"Done!" Shouted Joker "Everyone grab the drinks and follow me!" The decently drunk Pilot grabbed one of the drinks and began moving slowly back to their booth, the rest of the crew followed, each holding at least two drinks.

"Well that was easier than I thought." She said with a chuckle. She turned back to the bar and ordered two more drinks, not even bothering with a specific, she just told the bartender to make whatever.

"You should have thrown the cheerleader in with that deal," Said Jack, watching the procession. "She really needs to unwind, especially tonight."

"Well Jack, I didn't know you cared so much," She teased the other woman.

"Oh shut up. I'm just sick of watching her get all depressed every time you get all grabby with Revan."

"What you mean?" She hadn't noticed anything like that, why would Miranda even care in the first place? Shepard grabbed the two drinks from the bartender, handing one to Jack.

"God you're dumb sometimes," Jack grinned at her before nodding back towards the booth, "She wants to hit that so hard. How could you not notice?"

"Guess I was too busy hitting it," She sniggered, although she quickly stopped as Jack's words sunk in. "Really though?"

"Yeah. Wanna know what you should do?"

"Sure," She shrugged, taking a drink. She didn't want tension between her and Miranda, nor did she want her to be sad. Miranda was her friend after all.

"Get them both drunk, then all three of you go back to your cabin and fuck like animals."

Shepard instantly choked on her drink, erupting into a torrent of coughing, she handed her drink to a very amused Jack as she began thumping on her chest, even bending over to try and clear her airway. Jack meanwhile was killing herself laughing.

"Hilarious," She muttered, finally righting herself and quickly taking her drink back and having a long sip.

"I know. Still, wouldn't be a bad plan, just saying. You've got a shot at the belt Shepard." Jack gave her a devilish grin before walking back towards their group.

Shepard followed, trying to shake those thoughts from her head. When they reached the booth she was shocked by what she saw. Revan was still sitting down, but she had three empty drinks infront of her and three more empty shot glasses. She grinned at Shepard as she walked through the gathered crew. Mother of god they were actually succeeding.

"I heard that if I drink enough then you'll dance. I couldn't disappoint so many." Revan reached for a new shot glass as she spoke, quickly throwing it back. "Although I had a condition of my own." That ridiculously sexy grin grew even bigger at her confused look, Revan's answer was to simply nod her head to the person sitting beside them.

Shepard look at Miranda and her eyes nearly jumped out of her skull. She had a perfectly equal number of empty glasses to Revan, although she didn't seem to be handling it quite as well. She was staring fairly intently at the shot gripped in her hand, as if she could will it to disappear. A second later she quickly threw it back, a small cough escaping her lips as the liquid rushed down. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"This was a terrible idea," She muttered.

"Never have a drinking contest with a Mandalorian," Revan replied with a rather sadistic grin.

Shepard couldn't stop herself from bursting into laughter. This was just too perfect! The two most uptight people in the crew were getting totally hammered together! She had never seen either of them so much as take a sip of alcohol before. This night just got way better!

"Did they also tell you that you gotta dance too?" Shepard looked at the other woman.

"From what I hear it might not be possible ta dance with you." Revan just grinned at her. "But I'll tell ya what." Revan threw back another shot before continuing. "If I can get my hands on the materials, I'll give ya a good show."

"What materials?" Shepard asked, curiosity taking over.

"Let me worry about that." Revan just grinned. "But you'll love it."

"Well fuck, I'll take that challenge up!" She quickly threw herself back into the booth, knocking into Revan, who in turn was knocked into Miranda, who she swore blushed at the contact. But that could have been the alcohol.

Shepard grabbed one of the many drinks on the table and quickly downed it. Revan immediately followed, as did Miranda, albeit far more hesitantly. Two drinks later and Shepard had to agree with Miranda, this had been a terrible idea.

She had already been pretty drunk by the time this started, Miranda was shaping up to be a lightweight, while Revan looked barely affected although speech was much less refined and formal than usual with all the alcohol, her accent was also stronger. She was just grinning that sexy grin of hers. Wait…a minute, she had been sitting the entire time…

"Hey Revan, your turn to go get us another round." She quickly moved out of the booth and gave a rather large gesture to usher her out.

"Alright," She said, still grinning as she got up and headed to the bar.

She watched him for a moment, admiring the view before sliding back into the booth. She glanced over at Miranda, noting that she was still watching Revan, but the blush in her cheeks had definitely intensified. Did she really have such a big crush on the warrior? Not like Shepard could blame her.

Still, she didn't want any hostility to arise from it. As she looked over the former Cerberus officer, her very dunk mind couldn't help but wander as Jack's earlier suggestion floated through her mind. Miranda was pretty damn sexy. Great nice ass, fantastic boobs, the woman was curvy as hell! There definitely wasn't a problem in the looks department and…well the idea wasn't totally off putting, there was a pretty good chance that it would be AMAZING.

Having both her and Revan together, now that Shepard was really picturing it, she couldn't deny that it got her pretty aroused- okay she was way too drunk! It was crazy! No way it would work. Neither of the would go for it. She probably wouldn't even be going for it if she wasn't so drunk. It was crazy.

By the time Revan got back with drinks, Shepard was almost so desperate to drink more to forget these far too exciting thoughts that she barely noticed the change in the normally composed woman. Her walk had a faint sway to it, her eyes had become ever so slightly less focused and her grin had gotten even bigger. But it wasn't until she was actually sitting down that Shepard really noticed. Revan practically dropped into the seat, setting the drinks down rather noisily, she quickly raised a glass gesturing to her and Miranda.

"OYA!" Revan cheered

Shepard knew that word and she quickly repeated the call, as did Miranda, the three of them clinking glasses before downing their drinks. As she slammed her glass down on the table she noticed that Revan was almost half off the booth, a quickly glance showed that it was her fault.

Shepard slid in more, grabbing the warrior's large arm to pull her. She only stopped moving when she bumped into Miranda, she gave the other woman smile, but only after it came out did she realize it was a grin. Now that they were practically pressing against eachother her bastard mind kept throwing those earlier thoughts at her again, only more intense. She really needed another drink.

She should never have agreed to this. She knew it was a bad idea the second it had been said, but she had agreed anyway, thinking that perhaps it would be fun. Well she supposed it was a fun, but not having control over all her faculties was not something Miranda was used to.

Her mind was fuzzy, she had already had way too many inappropriate thoughts about Revan since they started drinking and it only got worse with every drink. It didn't help that Revan was pretty cute when she was drunk. She looked very at ease, laughing and smiling regularly.

She had even been singing a Mandalorian drinking song earlier, although Miranda could not even begin to recall the words right now. She did however remembering her horrible attempt to join in. She would never be drinking again after tonight.

"How you doin there good lookin?" Asked Shepard, bumping into her slightly as she turned to look directly at her.

"This was a bad idea," Miranda replied carefully, doing her best to not say anything ridiculous and embarrass herself more.

As the night went on and the more Shepard drank, she was becoming increasingly…friendlier. It was weird. Although Miranda really didn't mind, they were good friends after all. It's just she couldn't remember Shepard ever complimenting her looks, it was odd but also kind of nice to hear.

"No, it was a great idea! Nice to see you loosen up and have fun!"

"I suppose it has been a fun evening," She admitted with a smile. With the alcohol increasingly breaking down her usual inhibitions, she found it easier to talk to Revan tonight.

A part of her felt bad because she knew that almost all of her interactions with the warrior were motivated by her feelings for Revan and from all the thoughts she kept having. It was clear that some part of her was spurred by ulterior motives. She would never act on them though! Revan was with Shepard and Miranda would never betray her friend like that.

"Well this is just the start! It's gonna get much better." Shepard grinned at her again, but it was a grin the former Cerberus officer was not used to seeing, she even gave it an accompanying wink. Miranda got a strange feeling from that look, like a fluttering in her stomach, her cheeks even felt warmer. But this alcohol was having all kinds of effects on her.

"Shepard!" They all turned to see Joker and much of the crew walk, or rather, stumble up to the booth. "If this chick isn't drunk then I'm Santa Claus," He thrust a finger at a still grinning Revan. "You owe us a show!"

"Alright, you bastards." Shepard replied with a laugh, she downed the rest of her drink before pushing Revan out of the booth so she could get up. Miranda followed, she had to admit to being excited to seeing what Joker had been raving about for so long.

"But you are gonna get a special show," She continued as they made their way to the dance floor. "In honour of you all being a kick ass crew and us killing the shit outta the Collectors, you get to see something nobody ever has." She stumbled through the crowd until they were in the middle. "Clear me a space, Tali, hack into the speakers and get me access."

Her orders were quickly complied with, Grunt all too eager to begin bellowing at the other patrons to clear a space. Shepard was hovering over Tali, excitedly pointing at something on her Omni tool.

Once a space was cleared, Shepard gestured for them all to move back, the crew formed a circle around her and watched as she nodded to Tali. The Quarian quickly did a flurry of taps on her omni tool. The current music being blasted through the bar was suddenly cut off and a new song took its place. Miranda quickly recognized it as one of the old bands that Shepard listened to, but she could not identify the song.

She watched as Shepard grabbed Joker's drink from his hand, downing it at a frightening rate before tossing it back to him. She bobbed her head with the music for a few seconds as the song started off slowly. Her body began moving in an odd stepping pattern for a few beats before the tempo quickly accelerated, Shepards body moving along perfectly.

Her body was constantly in motion, she dropped to the ground, her hands and feet a blur as they moved in an almost hypnotic pattern. Occasionally she would freeze in what Miranda would deem an impossible position to freeze in, before she would suddenly burst back into movement. The entire thing was incredibly fluid and mesmerizing. Shepards body contorted at odd angles, sometimes only half of her body would be in movement while the rest remained frozen.

Miranda watched, slack jawed, as Shepard spun on her back at an alarming rate, slowly her body contorted and she began rising until she was back on her feet, her spin finally coming to a stop just as the song ended. She was looking at her crew, a huge grin on her face.

"What the shit?" Sputtered Joker, he, like the rest of the crew, were staring wide eyed. None of them could believe what they had just witnessed. "What the shit?" Repeated Joker.

"The fuck Joker? You said she couldn't dance!" Jack smacked the still awestruck pilot on the back of the head.

"She can't! I mean, I thought…when we partied after Saren she was horrible!"

Shepards only answer was to grin even bigger at the pilot before she began stumbling off the dance floor. "I need another drink," She muttered, half falling into Miranda and Revan. How that woman had managed to perform such a feat so drunk, Miranda would never know.

"That helps to explain why you're so flexible," Said Revan as they headed towards the bar, a rather cheeky grin on her face.

"It has many wonderful uses," She returned the grin just as fierce, even leaning in to nip at the taller woman's ear in a very playful manner.

Miranda quickly looked away, trying to rid herself of the thoughts that were quickly arising in her mind. She tried to focus instead on Shepard's performance. It had been very breathtaking, the display of skill was incredible. She must practice such skills regularly in order to do it that well while drunk.

Miranda also had to admit that it had been surprisingly…attractive. In a weird sort of way. The discipline that was required, the concentration, it was impressive. The way Shepard's body had moved was stunning. She had never really thought of Shepard in a sexual sense, not that she hadn't noticed the womans…charms. She had just never really been attracted to her in that sense.

Miranda decided was too drunk. A point which was driven home at the new thoughts that flooded into her mind. Damn alcohol! She quickly tried to force them out, turning her thoughts to reports and the duties she had-

"Don't worry," Shepard said suddenly, her voice low, being whispered directly into Miranda's ear, "You can see those more of those wonderful uses later."

Miranda nearly shivered at her voice, at the feeling of the hot air on her neck. Shivers ran down her spine, pleasurable ones. Even if she had been able to babble out some kind of reply, she would have been cut off by Shepard ordering them all drinks. Yes, Miranda definitely needed another drink.

Shepard was grateful for two things when she finally woke. One, that she never got hangovers. Two, she was grateful for how damn comfy her bed was. Of course her bed was only partially responsible for her comfort. The warm body pressing up against her helped immensely. She smiled as she snaked an arm around Revan, hugging her tightly, her hand finding a very nice resting place just under her amazing boobs, just after giving one a nice squeeze of course.

WAIT! Revan's boobs weren't this big! Shepard's eyes snapped open, her view was immediately filled with a mess of dark hair, she looked down to see the instantly recognisable, shapely form of Miranda. Oh god, oh god. She had cheated on Revan! What the fuck?! How could she- Her freak out was cut short as she finally noticed the warm presence at her back. Slowly turning her head she saw Revan sleeping next to her, face buried in the pillow.

Oh thank god, she was here too. Wait, what the fuck?! Shepard's mind returned to its freakout as she tried to remember the previous evening. She remembered being really…really drunk. The drinking contest that had occurred between her and…well everyone. Then Jack suggesting she have a threesome with Miranda. Then getting even more drunk with Miranda and Revan.

She remembered dancing…then, nothing. At least not from the bar. She was starting to get some VERY vivid memories from when they had stumbled into her cabin. All three of them. Even amidst her freakout, she couldn't deny that those memories were…simply incredible. Good god the sex had been amazing! Miranda had been...well, the fact that she was getting wet again pretty much said it all.

Shepard did her best to put the memories of the mind blowing sex out of her mind as she tried to sort everything out. Clearly all of them had been involved, if the three of them being completely naked wasn't a big enough hint, her memories were certainly enough. It was still a bit fuzzy but she would bet the ship that Revan and Miranda had enjoyed the hell out of it too. So, what did this mean? This was certainly an unusual situation, to say the least.

She loved Revan, and Miranda was one of her best friends. But she had never really thought of the other woman in that sense, well not for too long anyways, certainly nothing like this! She cared for Miranda yeah, but she had never attached any romantic feelings to it. Those has all be directed at Revan. She supposed it wasn't totally crazy...

A faint sigh drew Shepard from her thoughts as she felt Miranda shift, moving back slightly to press herself into Shepard, an action which she couldn't deny felt pretty damn nice. The woman had an incredible body. A second later she felt the former Cerberus officer stiffen, her whole body going rigid.

Shepard almost laughed, knowing the other woman was having the exact same freakout she had just gone through upon waking. Slowly Miranda's head turned to look at her, all Shepard could do was smile, she was pretty sure a faint blush accompanied it too.

"Morning," She croaked, only now realizing how dry her throat was. She was still fighting off the urge to laugh. The look on the other womans face was simply priceless, wide eyed and a very red face.

"Morning," Miranda returned softly, her voice full of confusion.

"Don't worry, I'm still trying to remember exactly how we got here as well," She couldn't hold in her laugh now, but did condense it down to just a chuckle.

"That makes three of us," Revan groaned from beside her, voice muffled.

Shepard's laughter fully broke free now as she shifted to look at the other woman, her head was still buried in the pillow. She felt Miranda turn over to look at the warrior, adding her laughter to Shepards at the sight. Because of their biotics her and Miranda didn't get hangovers, but it appeared that for all Revan's magical force powers, she was not that lucky.

"Got a bit of a hang over?" Shepard teased.

"Don't you?"

"Biotic's don't get them," She answered with a smirk. Revan's response was only to groan loudly. Shepard and Miranda both laughed again.

"Hey whatever happened to my surprise?" Shepard asked, just remembering Revan had never delivered. The warrior just muttered something about 'later' and 'firedancing' before slamming her head back in the pillow, causing the other women to laugh.

Once the laughter died down they were wrapped in a silence that could only be described as awkward. Shepard honestly didn't know what to say or do, she had never really been in this kind of a position before. Miranda was the one who ended up breaking the silence, not with words but through her shifting.

Her head was scanning the room as she shuffled to the edge of the bed, still clinging onto the blanket to cover herself. Shepard chuckled as she watched the blankets being pulled from Revan, who didn't seem to notice apart from burying her face further in the pillow. Shepard took a minute to enjoy the view of the heavily muscled, tattooed backside and firmest ass ever, before returning her attention to Miranda who had found her underwear and was quickly putting it on.

Shepard had to take another minute to enjoy that view as well. It wasn't until Miranda moved from the bed and began collecting her actual clothes that she was snapped out of her wandering thoughts and memories from last night.

What could she say? Shepard didn't want this to be awkward, well not more than it already was and she definitely didn't want this to ruin their friendship. It was pretty clear from everything that was said and happened last night that Miranda had feelings for Revan. Shepard didn't want there to be any resentment, or anything even close to that.

She cared for Miranda, now it was just in a slightly confusing way that she couldn't quite sort out at the moment. Her mind scrambled for something, anything to help the situation. It wasn't until Miranda was scrambling back into her clothes, her gaze falling over Revan, who was finally rolling over and pulling the blanket back over her body.

Her eyes blinking rapidly, she simply looked back at Miranda, then to Shepard, then back to Miranda. Shepard saw Miranda blush as her gaze switched between her and Revan several times before she quickly turned away.

"I need to go," She muttered, moving towards the door in a hurry. It was then that Shepard finally knew exactly what to say.

"Hey Miranda," The woman stopped, half turning to look back. "See you tonight?" She let the grin spread across her face, she was completely serious and wanted to make sure Miranda knew it. Her grin turned into a smile as she watched the other woman blush deeply, faintly smiling in return before hurrying into the elevator.

She turned to look at Revan now, grinning at her surprised expression. "And people say nothing good comes from drinking." Revan chuckled in response, giving a matching grin. Shepard honestly didn't know who was luckier with this development, regardless, she had finally made up her mind on the situation. It was fucking awesome.