Sorry about the wait. I was busy, busy with finals as I'm sure some of you have been as well.

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Chapter Two

Peyton stood against the railings of the pier, the wind blowing harshly against her skin.

In another place, in another time, she would have embraced the grandeur of the beauty around her, but not here, not now. This place served as representation and reminder of her momentary lapse of judgment. It was a moment in time in which she would never get back and yet she couldn't stay away, unable to distance herself from the memory.

She was propelled by both guilt and longing. She wished for a different set of circumstances, less tragic and life altering. She wished to have turned around a second sooner, or to have been more insistent when Lily complained about having to constantly hold onto hand. She wished she could turn back the hands of time for everyone, but wishing, she knew never seemed to get her anywhere. Certainly, not now.

Her life's been anything but remarkable, that's for sure. If people knew anything about her, they would tell you that her life was comprised of a never ending series of unfortunate tragedies, seemingly one right after the other.

In spite of all that Lucas had been the one to be there, he had been the exception, the one good thing, filling a void that neither her best friend nor her dad could occupy. It was a non-familial type of love that left her breathless, and would allow her to believe that maybe fairy tale endings were possible.

The wind picked up again hurried and sharp, she closed her eyes against it, and her memories.

"You come here often." It was more of a statement then a question. The voice startled her, intruding upon her thoughts.

Peyton turned slightly and regarded the familiar voice with her customary scowl. Lucas lowered his eyes beneath her gaze, faltered in his approach. He had deserved that, and anything else he had coming.

That morning Peyton had awaken to find the other side of the bed deserted. Articles of their clothing that had once been strewn haphazardly across the floor in lust-filled haste were found piled neatly next to her bed, well, her clothing.

A search for a note turned up unsuccessful. A mixture of shame, disappointment and anger would rise quickly. He had vanished and suddenly she was left to contend with the implications of their encounter alone.

Lucas stood before her now, wanting to put voice to his feelings, to provide an explanation for his abrupt departure. "Peyton, last night..I-"

"You what?" She urged tersely, cutting him off. Miss me, still love me? They were only few of the words she had been wishing, hoping to hear should they have ever reconciled, but his latest disappearing act has left her unsure of that.

"I mean, what was that?" She corrected her voice a little above a whisper now.

Lucas' untimely exit had left Peyton feeling stupid and used, and she couldn't shake the feeling that he maybe had intentions of simply walking away all along. To hurt her in such a way that both reflected and resembled his profound grief in having to say goodbye to his sister. Maybe, in some cruel way he wanted to make her relive what is was like to have something, and then suddenly have it taken away.

"A mistake". The words fell from Lucas' mouth before he had a chance to stop them, to form his complete rationale. He watched the hurt resonate upon her face, the anger brewing.

For a long, drawn-out moment the pair stood together in awkward silence, nothing but the sound of the waves crashing against the shore to subdue them.

Peyton later nodded her assent, surprising Lucas, who now stood mere inches away from her. She had been crazy to think that last night would spawn a new beginning for them, but she wouldn't believe it was the end either. Her eyes began to brim with tears she tried hard not to shed in the means of self-preservation. "So do we just go back to pretending the other doesn't exist?"

Pretending. Now there was a word Lucas knew well. In fact within the past year he had learned how to do it well. It's how he managed to get through the day and deal with work, his mother, Haley, his brother … and of course Peyton.

It would have been very easy to have just crawled back into bed with her that morning and pretend that today was an ordinary day, and that last night was like any other night they would have shared in the past.

In spite of everything, he had to admit that it felt nice to wake up to her in his arms again.

He watched as she struggled to contain her tears, but failed. The desire to be the one to wipe them away was strong, but he resisted.

"I - I don't want to confuse you Peyton. Sleeping together was a mistake." Lucas scratched his head, searched for words. "A matter of falling into old habits, I guess, but …I wanted to see you." He heaved a heavy sigh. "I've been meaning to see you", he confessed.

The weight of those last words hung between them. Peyton tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. Lucas couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked, face flushed by the cold and her tears. He looked away for a moment.

He could still vividly recall the day that she had called him, her voice tear-filled and frantic informing him that Lily had gone missing, slipping out of her sight, and into the chaotic cluster of festivities lining the Tree Hill pier.

Though alarmed by the news, he remained composed, working hard to alleviate her fears, and inadvertently his own. Together, they would search for Lily relentlessly. The night would fall upon them quickly, unwilling to spare the pair its sympathy. 9-1-1 What's your emergency? Thosefew words, unmistakably clear, shattered Lucas' resolve. The hope and belief that they would find Lily on their own, or she would return, smiling from having taken an all too long detour vanished. Those four words would be the dose of reality that brought him to his knees fast and hard. The phone call to his mother had been even harder. "WHAT?"

Most things since then had been a blur of agonizing confusion, and pain. A slew of emotion Lucas hadn't felt since his uncle Keith had died. The official search for Lily turned up empty at every corner, day in and day out. It sickened him to think about his little sister out there, somewhere, scared and alone, lost, kidnapped…dead. Tree Hill was a relatively small place, sure, but even it was not exempt to crime.

The press was unrelenting, phone calls by the minute-, accusations, libel, slander he saw and heard it all. He tried his best to shelter his family from it, from that aspect of things. His main focus was to find Lily, to have her return unharmed.

Peyton would receive the brunt of it. She swam in it, drowned. His family questioned her logic, assailing her with questions, their eyes accusing, but not at first. Soon they blamed her, later ostracizing her. His mother had been the worst. At one time, she unleashed her anger upon Lucas, criticizing his "poor" choice in women, when she had once stood in strong favor of their coupling. Peyton, she said was the reason Keith and Lily were both gone. It tore them apart, all of them, and when his own thoughts started to meander in a similar direction Lucas could hardly recognize himself.

He grew bitter in the months passing. His and Peyton's relationship suffered. He tip-toed around her and her emotions. He tip-toed around his own. They were a sinking ship, and he was the captain. Peyton would fight hard to stay on board and stay afloat, unwilling to accept that this was their end. After all he was to marry her, stand by her for better or for worse.

The morning he found himself perched on the edge of their shared bed hard-pressed on not shedding tears as he relayed to Peyton that he just "couldn't do it anymore"- be with her, was something he never thought he would hear himself say. He never saw this coming, but then again he never saw any of it coming.

Lucas and Peyton now walked side-by-side, a rather slow pace, perhaps to linger in the others presence a while longer.

"You've been watching me?" Peyton voiced as she tugged at the lapels of her jacket, pulling it tighter around her for additional warmth. "Earlier, you said something about me being here often, it didn't sound like a question."

"I haven't been stalking you if that what you meant," Lucas replied with a small laugh as he reflected upon the times he actually had resorted to such extremes as kid just to catch a glimpse of the girl that appeared to be a mystery to most. "I should have never told you that."

She smiled at this. The fragments of their past-unforgotten, complicated, intertwined. A lifetime of memories. Their memories. She wouldn't trade them for anything.

Lucas stopped walking and turned toward Peyton, the light-heartedness of the moment gone.

"Sometimes I come here to talk to Lily. It's been easier to picture her here." He paused slightly before he continued. "In spite of what happened, she loved the beach, this beach."

Her hand was on his shoulder almost instantly, comforting and apologetic. "Luke-"

"You're usually leaving when I show up."

She said nothing at the revelation. It hardly surprised her that he never made his presence known to her.

"Were you here this morning?" Peyton had thought to ask him where he'd run off to this morning earlier, but forgot. Now she was asking, although she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

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Happy Holidays everyone!

-Jess-