Rick Graham was wearing a suit. He straightened his tie and adjusted his jacket and cummerbund. Pip Bernadotte, his room-mate and best friend, was on the couch. His own cummerbund on his head. He was eating something greasy that Rick couldn't identify. He growled and smacked the food product from Pip's hand.

"Have you no respect?" Rick demanded.

" 'ave you any?" Pip frowned at his now ruined…food stuff. There was no five second rule in their apartment, or he would have picked it right back up and eaten the rest. No, it would be alive in a few days. No doubt.

"These suits are rentals! I don't want you all greasy for my mother's marriage," Rick explained and looked frantic. Rick's father had been dead for ten years and his mother had slowly worked her way back onto the dating scene. She was marrying an American business man who was willing to live in Australia with her. Rick didn't like him. His mother did.

Pip stood and looked bored. "Fiiiinnnneeee," he grumbled low in his French accent. Rick ripped the cummerbund from his friends head and handed it to him. Pip took it and put it on the best he could, when he was finished Rick still wasn't appeased and he wanted a cigarette.

"Fix it," Rick said.

"Fix what?"

"You know what."

"Ze stove? Ze stove has only been broken for a few hours. I will fix it after the wedding," Pip smirked at Rick. Torturing this poor mercenary was far too much fun to him. They had lived together for so long that it was a regular occurrence. Pip tortured him and made him angry and they ended it in a bloody fistfight. One of Pip's teeth was fake from the previous time the had fought. He had become tired of Rick called him a "Gap tooth bitch".

Rick turned around. He was waiting for his mother to come and pick them up for the wedding. He glared at Pip who stood, hands on his hips with his cummerbund all askew. Rick was pissed.

"I'm going to shoot you in the face after this wedding, you know that right, mate?"

"You look like a faggot," Pip countered and lit a cigarette.

Rick thought about the suit he was wearing. How nice it was. How nice he was supposed to look for this wedding or his own mother would kill him and Pip. She didn't approve of Pip. He had long hair and shifty eyes. His nose was too straight and his eyes were too close together. Pip thought these horrible things for reasons not to trust someone and then Rick had reminded him that he was a mercenary and he had said "Oh Yeah." He had not been wearing a cummerbund all askew and looking generally dumber than usual. Rick wanted to hit him.

"Will zere be any bridesmaids there?"

"My two sisters, mate," Rick told him and then frowned. "NO."

Pip looked excited all of the sudden. "Sisters? I zought you were an only child!"

"No, Pip!"

"Aw, but the ladies, zey call to me. Zey pine for moi!" Pip insisted and Rick took the chance to cross the messy floor and smack Pip upside the head.

"If you so much as dance with my sisters I'll skin you alive, mate," he told the Frenchman before him. Pip shrugged.

Rick took his place by the window, looking out for his mother's limo.

"Guess what," Pip spoke suddenly.

"What?" Rick rolled his eyes.

"No, you must guess," Pip said.

Rick sighed and rubbed his freckled face. "You're not wearing underwear under that rental are you?"

Although miniscule, Pip always knew how to get back at Rick. A for instance: When Rick had knocked out his tooth he had drilled holes in the bathtub. When Rick stole his woman he made sure to speak to great lengths the next morning about how great Rick had been to him in bed too.

Rick's mother had arrived. They hurried down the stairs and to the limo where they climbed inside and were immediately lost in puffy white gown.

"Mum, don't you think it's a bit much?" Rick asked trying to pull it from his mouth.

"Mrs. Graham, you look lovely," Pip said and she gave him a disapproving look. Pip shrugged and looked out the window. He would have his revenge.

"What smells like grease?"