A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my friend Andrew, who gave me the idea for 'Broomstick' (as you shall see later). And by the way, all of Voldemort's difficulties with the Harry Potter video game are based on my own. Damn you, Harry Potter Quidditch World Cup game!

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I wouldn't have made 'Legilimency' such a hard word to spell

Recap:

Snape looked like he was going to cry. "The Order did it before us."

"Did what?"

"They've got friendship bracelets."

Voldemort Has Really Bad Luck At Games

"No!" Rodolphus said in a hushed voice.

"Yes." Voldemort pulled out a black handkerchief and loudly blew his nose.

"Can we still keep RiSissa?" Rodolphus asked.

"RiSissa?" Rabastan scorned. "What next?"

Voldemort interrupted the brothers bickering with an evil gleam in his eye. "I've got it… when the Order is sleeping, we'll steal their bracelets, burn them, and then wear our own. We will be the most fashionable. Muahahahahahaha!" Voldemort let loose an odd-sounding evil laugh.

"Voldemort? What's wrong with your laugh?" Lucius asked.

"What do you mean?

"Well, usually, you have emphasis on the mua and the final ha, like Muahahahahahahahaha, but that one just had no emotion."

"I've been fiddling with it," Voldemort admitted. "I tried other versions, too. I got a bwahahahahahaha, a regular hahahahahaha, and, one of my own invention…"

He sucked in a deep breath and let out his new evil laugh.

"Twahahahahahahahahahaha!"

Everyone stared, dumbfounded, at their evil leader.

"Twa?" Mulciber asked. "And I thought Mucly was bad…"

"What?" Voldemort asked. "Don't you like it?"

"Voldemort. We are the Death Eaters. We eat Death. We kill people. We do not go around, laughing as if we were skipping on a rainbow and eating candy!" Snape exclaimed.

"How do you know what people on rainbows sound like?" Voldemort shot back.

Snape's face turned red. "I was guessing."

"You're lying! You were on a rainbow! You were on a rainbow!"

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Was not."

"Was not." Voldemort grinned evilly.

"Was too! And that's final!" Snape shouted.

"Told ya so." Voldemort smirked.

"I- wait. What?" Snape furrowed his brow.

"Snape was on a rainbow, Snape was on a rainbow!" Voldemort chanted. "Come, my fellow Death Eaters, join me!"

The Death Eaters joined hands and circled around the former Potions teacher, singing, "Snape was on a rainbow, Snape was on a rainbow!"

Snape coughed loudly. "Can't I say something in my defense?"

"I guess," Voldemort conceded.

Tears formed in Snape's eyes. "When you make fun of me, I feel sad, and I wish you would stop."

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, Snape," Voldemort apologized.

Everyone glanced around warily.

"Minions! Apologize!" Voldemort commanded.

"Yes, My Lord. Sorry, Snape," the Death Eaters recited.

Bellatrix burst into the room. "Everyone! I have great news!" she said, and Marissa shuddered, Bella's demeanor reminding her of Lucius.

"What?" Voldemort asked. "Did our shipments of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince come in?"

"No, not yet, My Lord."

"Ugh! I have been waiting forever for it!"

"I know, My Lord, but… Nott, Travers, and Jugson just stopped by. They have the string!" She held up about ten packets of red and black string.

"Yes!" Voldemort cried. "Now, we can get Marissa working on those, and become fashionable! Marissa, go work on the bracelets, while I sneak off to Macnair's room play that Harry Potter game. Man, is it addicting!"

"I'm going to sneak off now. Everyone close your eyes," he ordered.

Everyone obediently shut their eyes, and heard loud footsteps walking towards the door, then the sound of one body slamming into another, glass breaking and a large "Dammit! Not again!"

Everyone opened their eyes and observed the scene. Voldemort had opened the door, and walked straight into Wormtail, who had been carrying Voldemort's new plasma TV, which now lay on the floor in about six million pieces.

"Thanks for wasting my five percent off coupon, Wormtail. Now we have to get an entirely new one, at full price! Do you know how much those things cost?"

"Um… Yes, My Lord?"

"You should be very, very grateful that I have another coupon at Circuit City."

"I am, My Lord."

"Have you noticed, Wormtail," Snape remarked, "that you are the only one here that calls him 'My Lord'? We all call him Voldemort, except for Rodolphus, who knows our leader as 'Voldy'."

"He calls me Voldy?" Voldemort asked, outraged.

"Not the point!" Rodolphus hurriedly interrupted. "I think Peter is a suck-up!"

Peter's lower lip trembled. "You're jealous."

Rodolphus snorted. "Of what?"

"Of me."

The room burst into laughter at Peter's statement. Tears fell down all three faces of the Lestranges as they hooted at Wormtail. Travers and Jugson, who had justy walked in, immediately joined in the laughter.

"Oh, stop it," Voldemort, feeling bad for Peter. "Let's play a game or something."

"Ooh! I know! Let's play Broomstick!" Lucius suggested.

Those who knew of the game eagerly nodded, the others just looked perplexed.

"Everyone, get in a circle. I'll be it," Lucius directed. "Who knows how to play?"

About five people raised their hands, including Snape, Bella, Ro, Rabastan, and Nott.

"'Kay, Bella, you go out into the hall." Bellatrix swept outside, closing the door behind her.

"Okay. Accio Broomstick," Lucius said, and a broom soared toward towards him.

He pointed the hand at Snape. "Broomstick."

He went around the circle, pointing at random people. "Broomstick, broomstick, cheese stick, mozzarella stick, broomstick, broomstick, Popsicle stick, broomstick, broomstick." The final word was annunciated by the point of the broom at Mulciber.

"Now, when Bellatrix comes back in, she will magically read my mind- without using Legilimency- and see who I have picked. Bella, come in!"

Bellatrix walked in the room, looked around once, and proclaimed, "Mulciber."

Various "oohs" and "aahs" came from about the room.

Every time, someone would walk out, walk back in, and get the answer right. They hadn't been peeking or listening or reading minds, they just knew. Everyone picked up on it within a few minutes- everyone except Voldemort, that is.

"I don't get it," he said to Wormtail for the six millionth time.

"I can't tell you." Wormtail replied for the six millionth time.

"Tell me!"

"No!"

"My brain hurts. Tell me!"

"Never!"

"Tell mw, or I'll hurt you!"

"Too bad."

"Crucio!"

Wormtail got up a minute later. "Let's play a different game."

"Yes, let's," everyone hurriedly agreed.

TEN MINUTES LATER

"Got any eights?" Lucius asked.

"Um… y-no." Voldemort lied.

"You're lying. I can see you've got two of them. Hand them over."

"Curses! I have been foiled again!" He pulled the eights out and handed them to Lucius.

"You can go, Voldemort."

"Got any fours?"

"Go fish."

Voldemort pulled up a nine. Yes! Now he had three nines.

"Go, Lucius."

"Got any nines?"

Voldemort grabbed all of Lucius' cards and set the whole deck on fire.

"Now what?" Lucius sighed.

FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY SECONDS LATER

"So, show me how to do the special moves," Voldemort instructed Lucius ashe gave him the PS2 controller.

"And what game is this again?"

"Harry Potter Quidditch World Cup."

"I see."

Lucius easily mastered the special moves and handed the controller to Voldemort.

"There. You can go play Ravenclaw now."

Just as Voldemort hit the "Begin Match" button, Wormtail stumbled into the room, tripping over the Playstation cord.

The game went black.

"Did- did you save it?" Lucius asked, horrified.

"No." Voldemort yanked the disc out of the console and stomped on it, shattering in into a zillion shiny flecks.

A HALF-HOUR LATER

"Okay. We're tied. All I have to do is get Lucius to miss the ball and I've won my first game of tennis, ever."

Just as Lucius threw the ball up, Voldemort screamed.

"Look! Harry Potter!"

Lucius' eyes blazed with rage, and he smacked the tennis ball with all his strength. It flew across the court and hit Voldemort full in the head.

"WE ARE DONE PLAYING GAMES TODAY!"