A/N- so this is my first fanfic, i thought after reading hundreds of Bechloe fics i'd give my own a try, i have no idea where this is going to go so reviews with suggestions are more than helpful! obviously if i don't get any follows then i'll just stop updating but hopefully that wont be an issue. Also there is a trigger warning for self harm/suicide and depression most likely throughout the whole story so if that's an issue then don't read further. hope you enjoy! x
Beca Mitchell kept herself to herself. Her sarcastic eye rolls and permanent smirk made it impossible for people to be around her, which is how she preferred it really seeing as everyone leaves her anyway and she was never going to open up to her asshole father who she'd been forced to live with since her mother died 3 years ago... He had never understood her passion for music like her mother had and he insisted on her getting an education before going off to LA to live her dream. and ever so lucky for her, her dad happened to be a professor at Barden University so she was enrolled there as soon as she graduated high school.
Beca had been at B.U for over a year now and had made zero friends (apart from Amy, though she never really wanted that friendship but the large Australian just barrelled into her life without a second thought) her room-mate Kimmy Jin was quite possibly president of the 'I hate Beca' club judging by the death glares she received if Beca ever opened her mouth.
Summer break had not long begun and she had opted to stay in Baker Hall for the holidays rather than stay with her dad, Warren, and Sheila (or as she preferred the step-monster). She thought it was great really, no one was around, she could play music as loud as she wanted, and Luke at the radio station had given her an alotted time every other day for her radio show where she could play her mixes. The best part however, was the showers, no shitty freshmen would be there using the hot water and there was a lack of bitchy girls huddled in stalls or the moans of young couples doing the nasty not-so-secretly. She preferred to shower at random times like tonight she found herself in the shower block at 3am belting out tunes at the top of her alto lungs.
Long been clean, Beca was humming Titanium and thinking about her mother when she heard a loud smash from outside the cubicle followed by a slurred "Shit" and then a thud. Beca liked to think of herself as a self-proclaimed badass so if this was some idiot trying to prank or scare her then it wasnt going to work, turning the water off and quickly drying herself and putting on some slacks and a hoodie she slowly pulled the shower curtain back.
Breaths could be heard from the other side of the room and Beca could see glass splayed out in all directions, just as she was about to pounce on whoever was interrupting her shower she paused.
Listening more carefully, she could hear how laboured the breaths were, and how they were mixed in with whimpers and sobbing? who the hell is this person? She thought, wondering whether to just slip out of the room, not getting involved.
That was exactly what Beca was going to do before she saw a quickly growing pool of red pooling round the corner.
"Shit" Chloe cussed as she almost broke her neck on some soap on the floor and dropped the remnants of her vodka bottle on the floor, creating a loud smash that made her head hurt. She had been momentarily paused by the sound of glorious singing coming from somewhere near her, but her drunken state left out the idea that maybe it was someone in the showers. But when the smash made the music stop she slumped down the wall nearest her and fresh tears began to fall over her cheeks, burning in the tracts of the ones previous. Chloe was shocked she had any tears left and wasn't just crying liquor now.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid" she repeated quietly, hitting her head against the cool tile behind her until she was too dizzy to continue.
How could she have been stupid enough to think Tom would have stayed with her. She was pathetic, worthless, nothing! How many times did he have to cheat on her before she would understand that she repulsed him? Pulling off her jeans she looked at the ugly white scars that covered her thighs from the years of cutting and burning herself so that she would feel something and actually control the pain in her life. And from removing her top she saw how her bones stuck out from starving herself for month after month, thinking that the reason Tom disliked sleeping with her so much was because she was so fat - despite already being classed as underweight. More scars were present on her arms and wrists and she heaved at the thought of how incredibly ugly she was.
no one is ever going to love you, no one wants to look at you or talk to you or hold you, you sicken everyone you pathetic low life do yourself a favour and use that knife
The ever present voices ringing in her head, taunting her, pleading, begging her to kill herself. Her alcohol fuelled state made it easy for her to decide what to do. Listening to the voices, she sloppily handled her jeans that were now soaked in the vodka that she'd spilt previously until she found the knife, and wasted no time in opening it with her shaky hands. moving her limp, once beautiful ginger hair out of her once equally if not more so cerulean eyes which were now dull, lifeless, tired and grey; she took the knife over each and every scar on her thighs, not caring how deep she went, finding lush relief in the scarlet streams which ran around her. Making sure she hadn't missed any on her legs she moved to her arms, starting with the scars on her upper arms and down to just before her wrists.
She took a deep breath and stole a glance at the large water/vodka diluted blood pool around her as she slowly bought the knife up to her wrist.
A noise made her jump as she was about to make the fatal cut and ended up only slightly breaking the skin on her right wrist. Frustrated she let out a breath mixed with a whimper and just as the knife was to be taken to the other wrist, something, or rather someone made her stop...
"What the fuck?" a younger looking girl shouted with wide eyes after waking round the corner
"Oh my god, what have you done?" Beca said, not expecting a reply as she looked upon the practically naked almost unconscious bleeding mess infront of her. Instinctively thinking, she turned on the nearest shower and ever so carefully scooped the girl up in her arms, not caring about the blood that was soaking through her clothes. Beca slowly sat down in the shower against the cool wall and removed the rest of the ginger girls clothing, trying hard not to cause her any pain and having compete disregard to the fact that the girl was now naked.
Quietly, Beca washed each and every cut on Chloe's body until the blood flow stopped, making sure non were so deep that they would need stitches. Taking off her hoodie, Beca carefully placed it on the girl and even though the older girl was considerably taller, the small hoodie seemed to drown her. The two then sat there for a while, Beca whispering soothing words into the girls ear and brushing her hair with her fingers.
Throughout the whole ordeal Chloe hadn't made a sound and she was clinging onto consciousness, this girl she had never seen before was taking care of her like no one ever had, even though her tears were still silently falling she felt alot safer in the smaller girls arms.
"C- Ch- Chloe" She spluttered before the drunk haze took over her brain and she fell into a restless sleep filled with disturbing thoughts and terrifying nightmares.
Beca set herself a reminder to come down as soon as she wakes up to clean all this mess up, thank god the cleaners weren't in at this point; the shower room looked like it witnessed a mass murder.
Leaving Chloe's side for a second, Beca picked up the clothes Chloe had removed and the knife that had been discarded earlier and jammed them in her rucksack which she then slung on before hurrying back to the other woman and picking her up bridal style, shocked at how light she was, Beca opened the door that led back to the dorms and walked tentatively as not to disturb the woman in her arms. Entering her dorm she thanked the gods that everyone in Baker Hall had gone home for the holidays, she imagined it would be quite the sight seeing one barely dressed blood soaked woman carrying an unconscious barely dressed blood soaked woman in her arms down the hallway.
Trying not to make a sound, Beca lay Chloe onto her bed and removed the hoodie in the dark of her room, then went to find a baggy shirt and some shorts to change her into, once she had finished dressing Chloe, Beca put her into bed and put the bloodsoaked clothes in the laundry pile.
"So tomorrow is going to be interesting" Beca murmured getting into Kimmy Jins bed, hoping for a couple hours sleep before the fun of cleaning up that mess began and then the task of actually talking to this Chloe girl about what the hell happened.
Very quickly Beca fell asleep and dreamt of the girl who was sleeping across the room.
A/N - okay so alot happened there but i just needed to set up the whole thing with them meeting eachother and all that so yeah. Sorry if it was a bit heavy for you