Hehe, I'm a bit more subdued today. Issues...y'know. The usual.
So. Please, guys, review. I don't know how many of you saw this, but...y'know. Y'know? Yeah. Y'know.
DAY 2
OTP: Lift
BROTP: Shipping Trio (Joan, Sunny, Iris)
AU: Fairytale AU
"There's nothing like getting drunk underage in a tavern before we go rob the crown princess," sighed Lily tiredly, raising an eyebrow at her companions. Grabbing her own watered-down rum, she groped at Rie's mug. Although she tried to hide the extent of her drunkenness, her movements were slightly sluggish despite the fact she still had most of her right state of mind. "Oi, Rie, utopia wine doesn't come cheap!"
"Who caaares…'m on the high road of liiiiife…" Slurring considerably more than her counterpart, said person slammed the copper-rimmed mug onto the countertop. "'Sides, we're gonna be robbing the crown. 'f we die tomorrow, might as well spend all our money todaaaay…"
"OR IF WE GET TONS OF MONEY TOMORROW." Soleil, the third person in their trio, stood straight up as her hands moved endlessly over the top of the bar. "IF WE GET TONS OF MONEY TOMORROW. EVERYTHING WILL BE GOOD IF WE GET MONEY TOMORROW!"
"S—sorry about that," sighed Lily, rather tempted to keep slapping money onto the desk. "I know you don't particularly enjoy it when the three of us get roaring drunk."
"Well, at least you're not drunk today," muttered the bartender of the illegal tavern with a sigh. "I think I might survive…this time."
"Poor, silly bartender." There was a surprisingly coherent sentence came from Rie, who grinned at the man rather deviously from her place resting on the countertop. "With us, you're never safe."
"DON'T YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE?!" Grinning, Soleil's hands ran even faster, random fingers pressing as if playing an intricate piano. "WE'RE THE SHI—"
"And that's enough out of you." Slapping a hand over her friend's mouth, Lily began trying to tug Soleil out of the dank basement, ignoring the bartender's raised eyebrow.
"We're…the shit. Get it? WE'RE THE SHIT." Laughing hysterically, Rie stood slightly, joining Soleil in refusal to move.
"You're the shi—the shi-what?" The bartender smiled.
"THERE'S THREE OF US, DUMBASS," yelled Soleil as Lily switched to placing her hands over Rie's mouth instead. "WHO DO YOU THINK WE ARE?!"
"I don't know, the bleedin' Gods?" The bartender's deadpan gaze turned to wiping the glasses, but the certainty in his expression faded with each passing swipe of the rag. Finally, his eyes widened behind thin spectacles in fear as he laid down the things in his hand.
"Don't tell me you're…the Shipping Trio?" The bartender's eyes widened. "The group of three that keeps sending a calling card with a ship ahead of their robberies? The ones who usually go for ships in the harbor?"
"ACTUALLY WE USED TO BE MORE PIRATE ORIENTED. WE WENT FOR SHIPS THAT WERE OUTSIDE THE HARBOR. WE ARE ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD. GET IT? CALLING CARDS. PIRATES NOT HARBOR. ONE STEP AHEAD. HAHAHA—" Soleil grinned as Lily slapped a hand over her mouth, the partially-sober girl glaring angrily.
"Actuallyy, we had that name since graaade schooooooool." Yodeling in a sing-song voice, Rie clawed her way back to the bar and downed another mug of utopia wine. "For a different reason, though."
"Remember that time we got my brother and Elda together?" Lily grinned reminiscently for a second, a crooked, alcohol-crazed smile on her face before she snapped back with a shake of her head. "Okay, time to go." Grabbing a wrist in each of her hands, the girl turned and began dragging her friends out of the dank basement-turned-pub, pausing only to glare at the bartender and slap a golden coin onto the bartop. "Seeing as this is an illegal 'prohibition-era-speakeasy,' I hardly need to tell you this, but—"
"—my lips are sealed. Like always." Sighing, the bartender coughed. He was getting that headache again—the one that told him it was just about time to retire.
There were times when the Crown Princess of Komalia really, really wanted to fuck her own laws and drink.
Drift trailed her fingers along the stone-cold edge of her throne, wishing for a taste of the elusive utopia wine her friend had once gotten for her. Her own dad had outlawed the alcohol that was driving her town and their kingdom to insanity—or was it simply oblivion?
Either one of them was preferable to what was in front of her.
"I won't do it."
"There are worse things, m'lady," whispered her best friend in her ear. Drift tilted her head slightly, eyes still trained on the ambassador in front of her, before standing calmly.
"Lizzi, leave us," she replied. Her friend slash lady-in-waiting gave her a sour but understanding look before bowing and exiting the room. Turning back to the bowing ambassador in front of her, Drift gazed upon him in contempt.
"Again I'll say—I refuse to marry the Alexandrian Crown Prince."
"But, m'lady," sighed the ambassador—Jordan, a devoted citizen of Komalia and best friend of the Crown Prince of Alexandria. "Take it from me personally—Kime's not a bad guy."
"The question isn't whether or not he's a bad person; it's whether or not I will marry him, and I will not marry him!"
With a contemptuous sweep of the mantle draped across her shoulders, Drift nodded respectfully to the man before gliding off through the same door that her lady-in-waiting, Lizzi, had gone through minutes before.
"C'mon, your Highness," sighed the curly-haired girl, waiting outside for the royal heir to arrive. "There are worse things than merging the Alexandrian and Komalian kingdoms."
"As long as we're alone, Lizzi, you can call me Drift," sighed the dark-skinned Princess. "We've been friends since we were children." Sighing and sitting onto the couch outside, Drift whisked off her crown and tossed it to the side; Lizzi caught it with a grin. "I just—we've been at war with those stupid Alexandrians since my parent's generation. Even ignoring the fact that I've never met this guy, if I had to marry someone, I'd rather it not be an Alexandrian."
"Hey, what's wrong with Alexandrians?" Lizzi's voice was offended, and Drift tossed her a deadpan glare.
"Listen, you've lived in Komalia since you came here—"
"—Since your warlord ancestors dragged me here—"
"—So I hardly think you count as an Alexandrian anymore."
"Well, Komalia may have my bones if it wishes, but Alexandria will have my soul," the fairer-skinned foreigner sing-songed cryptically, clasping her hands with a sigh. "Either way, don't fault the guy just because he's Alexandrian."
"Well, it's not just that," muttered Drift. "I just—can't marry someone like that. I have to marry someone who I know and who knows me and who…who loves me for who I am."
"He can learn to."
"He might not."
"Well, if those are your qualifications, you're going to have a lot of trouble finding someone like that." Laughing, Lizzi straightened out her apron, far shabbier in comparison to Drift's fancy furs. "Shut up in the castle for so long…the only people you know that well are the King, the Queen, and myself."
"Well, there's plenty years of life to come," laughed Drift. "That's the good thing; everyone always has some more years at life."
"We'regonnadiewe'regonnadieWE'REGONNAMOTHERFUCKING DIE—"
"We're the ones that're on hangovers!" Hissing angrily at her counterpart, Rie grabbed threateningly at the handkerchief around her head. "I swear to God if you get us caught and really make us die, I'm going to haunt your soul forever."
"Pre-theft jitters always seem to hit you," Soleil said quietly, trying to help her vocal chords recover from screaming and her brain recover from the hangover. Nevertheless, she held out a water skin toward the quickly panicking Lily. "Want a sip of utopia wine?"
"…Where the hell did you get that?"
"I just carried an empty skin into the bar and emptied a cup into it when the bartender wasn't looking…and when you weren't looking, for that matter."
"I'll take it," she replied with a sigh, taking a large swig before grinning.
"Better?"
"Better." With a grin, Lily motioned to Rie. "Put the cloth back on and throw the rope over the fence! We've got some robbing to do!"
Lizzi was accustomed to prowling the house at night, equipped with a lantern, exploring nooks and crannies. Many long-forgotten years ago, she had done so looking for a way out of her prison and back to her home; however, nowadays, she did it purely from experience (not to mention the fact that the castle had neverending secrets).
Today, there was something that wasn't usually found in her experience.
A thing that just so happened to be the Crown Princess shoving her own royal jewels into a rucksack in the middle of the castle's treasure trove.
"Your highness!"
"Lizzi!" Giving a start, Drift toppled backwards onto a pile of gold coins. Slowly raising the upper half of her body with her arms, the crown toppled off her head and she grabbed it back with a quick fist. "Godammit, don't startle me—and haven't I told you to call me Drift?"
"Drift, with all due respect, what the bloody fuck are you doing?!"
"I can't marry the Alexandrian prince, Lizzi. I just can't. And—nope, nope, nope!" Drift held up her hand to stop Lizzi's protest as she opened her mouth. "Not just because he's Alexandrian! It's because I don't love him!"
"Well then, who are you planning to marry?!" Lizzi sighed, placing her hands on her hips. "You know it's gonna have to be in the next year, or you'll lose the crown!"
"I'll meet them soon!"
"…You just said earlier today that they needed to know you well."
"I'll cross that bridge when I get there!" Drift stained scarlet. "For now, I gotta get out of this place before people use me as a political pawn to merge Komalia with Alexandria!"
"Drift, if it doesn't happen, the two countries have the possibility of annihilating each other." Lizzi had done quite a bit more research about the two countries than Drift, seeing as she lived in one and considered herself from another. "Soon. Real soon. As in two years." She paused. "Also, the people in Komalia aren't doing too well. The war is sucking out taxes faster than you can stuff your own jewels into your rucksack. " Gesturing wildly toward the sack, Lizzi glared accusingly. "For Pete's sake, one of your angry citizens could be trying to rob your own crown jewels as we speak—and as you yourself are trying to rob them too!"
"Psh, these guards are child's play!" Scoffing, Rie launched a tranquilizer-laced metal pick into a chink in heavy-metal armor. He dropped like a fly with a large metallic clank, alerting his comrade; however, before the other guard could continue, he too collapsed.
"Careful. Pride before a fall." Nevertheless, Soleil shot a grin to her friend as she darted like a black flash down the hall. The others followed suit, footsteps muffled by thick carpet.
"Lily, did you nick the map from your brother?"
"Yeah," the girl sighed, procuring the papers. "I feel really, really bad stealing from Jordan though…"
"Think of it as the payment for getting him together with the love of his life."
"Yeah. Besides, even if he's the ambassador of Komalia and Alexandria, he's technically a Komalian citizen; how bad can it be taking a paper from your own country?"
"Pretty damn bad, if you're trying to steal from it." Chuckling, Rie grabbed onto a small door to the side that almost blended into the wall, glanced at the crumpled paper in her hand, and dove in.
The two other thieves followed suit, falling about five feet before landing painfully into a pile of coins.
"Who the hell puts a door five foot above the floor?!" Rie lifted a hand, shaking it and letting coins fall out of her sleeves, when all three of the Shipping Trio froze.
Sitting in front of them was a face anyone would recognize anywhere—Drift, the Crown Princess of Komalia.
Lizzi didn't have to ask to know that the three people who dropped in through the main doorway into the treasure hoard were thieves.
Drift, on the other hand, gazed skeptically at the three people, dressed in black with covered faces. There was no such thing as simple clothes in the Komalian era—even poor families could go out into fields and pull Frasasfass weeds from any field and weave silvery strands into any piece of clothing. The three people had metallic silver in a patterned border around their clothing—they were girls, upon further reflection. The black underneath their clothing was slightly patched, but overall neat enough.
It was rather clear that they were from poor origins.
"FUCK." One of the girls leaped up, wincing as her tailbone left the 'cushion' of gold and let the full impact of the fall hit her. "What do we do now, guys?"
"Hahahahaha—what kind of a question is that?" The other was slowly pulling something out of her sleeve. "We knock 'em dead—or unconscious—of course!"
There was no time to react—the last of the three pulled another dart out of the sleeve, and Lizzi heard Drift fall at the exact same time that she did.
They woke up in the throne room, surrounded by piles of their own money. Lizzi was bound but not gagged and sitting angrily on the ground, and Drift was seated on her throne with a knife to her throat and her wrists bound to the arms of the throne.
"Heh, sorry," said the person holding the knife. "It's a necessary precaution, you understand? "
"Do you know who I am?!" Drift growled. "I'm the—"
"The crown princess, we know, we're not stupid," remarked another thief, busy throwing the bags out the window. Judging by the responding clinks outside, the third thief was catching them and putting them into some escape vehicle. "Why do you think we've got you here?"
"Well, if that's the case you should know that the guards are—"
"We've knocked them out," came the response, rather bored. "That, and everyone else is asleep. It's just an extra safety step."
"It does lead me to wonder, though," mused the thief behind the throne, shifting the knife; Drift winced. "What were you two doing together in the treasure room?"
"Running away, believe it or not," sighed Lizzi. At Drift's glare, she shrugged. "What? They're more likely to let us go if they know that's the case."
"We're going to let you go anyway after we've cleared out all the loot. At any rate, though, that's quite clever, Miss…and you are?"
"Lizzi." Her words were short and clipped. "Lady-in-waiting. Alexandrian. Lived in Komalia since three."
"…Ah." There was a snicker in the thief's voice as she threw out another bag and turned to face the maid fully. "And you two were planning on running away together…are you guys…"
"Wha—no!" Drift gave a loud, choking laugh. "Are you kidding? I'm Komalian and she's Alexandrian—"
"Again, what's wrong with being Alexandrian?!" Lizzi gave an exasperated huff. Switching the knife from one hand to another, the thief behind her leaned over and patted the maid on the head.
"It's okay. Denial can be quite a bitch; as long as you know she loves you—"
"Godammit, we are not lovers!"
"Of course you aren't, dear," the thief laughed. Peeved, Drift gave a swipe toward the thief's mask—she dodged.
"No need to get angry, your highness. A couple more bags and you're free to march off into the sunset with your lover."
"Shut up."
"Are you the seme or the uke?"
"Shut up."
"Tsundere, eh? A bit like Romeo and Juliet—two lovers from enemy kingdoms—no wait, you're betrothed to the Alexandrian prince, too!"
"SHUT UP!"
"Don't get high blood pressure," a voice responded sweetly; it was the final thief, who'd come upstairs to grab the last couple of bags. "It's time to go. I'm sure they'll find you in the morning and untie you—at which point we'll be safe behind our alibis."
"I will find you, make no mistake," growled Drift.
"People have been trying to find us for many years, and they haven't succeeded," the person behind her laughed into her ear. Drift shifted slightly.
"Can you at least tell me who you are?!"
"You mean they never bothered showing you the calling card? We sent it a week ago, like we always do. Then again, sometimes the servants think it's better to try and catch us on their own…" The person behind Drift finally withdrew the knife, walking in a wide circle to avoid the legs she kicked toward her and pointing a dart rather threateningly when she opened her mouth to scream. "We're the Shipping Trio!"
"The—" Drift almost groaned, exchanging an exasperated glance with Lizzi. "For the love of God, did you take the entire royal reserve?"
"We may be poor, but again I say, we're not stupid. We don't want the entire kingdom to descend into anarchy any more than you do. I'd say we've left enough to keep the kingdom running as regular…not to say we didn't get a nice haul for ourselves." The black figure turned to her comrades. "Is there anything we've forgotten?"
"We've gotta gag them so they don't alert the others as soon as we're out of the room."
"Or we could just knock them out."
"Where's the fun in that?"
Drift barely had time to speak up in protest before a heavy rag was shoved into her mouth. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the same thing being done to her friend; and then two of the three saluted the prisoners mockingly and were out the door. The third also raised a hand to her head in salute, but paused halfway.
"…Listen." She sighed, straightening. "I've got some…family in the government, so I know your situation, and while I can't pretend to be an authority on it, I will say this. If you're going to marry someone and you refuse to have it be the Alexandrian king, well…"
She paused, glancing between the two, and sighed.
"Marry someone who matters."
And then the door closed and the night was left to Drift, Lizzi, their silence, and the rattling hooves and raucous laughter of another job well done.
"M'lady, are you okay?" The simple parlor maid held out the tray of warm milk toward the Princess, who was lolling her head quietly against the throne.
"I'm fine, Andie," she sighed quietly. "Leave us."
Andie nodded, glancing quickly over at Lizzi, who bowed and waved her fellow servant and friend out of the room.
"…Lizzi?"
"Yes, Drift?"
"…Remember what the girl said last night."
"Look, I wouldn't let it get to you," sighed Lizzi exasperatedly. "They're just a group of three girls who make their living by stealing other people's hard work—"
"I have to marry someone by next year."
"Yes."
"I need to make an Komalia-Alexandrian merger."
"…Yes." Lizzi sighed, placing a comforting hand onto Drift's shoulder. Drift remained still, staring out to the window across her throne. Just yesterday, she'd seen her jewels leave her presence by that very window.
"…You're Alexandrian."
Lizzi paused, hand frozen onto her friend's shoulder. She withdrew it slowly, gulping.
"…Look, Drift, I'm not even royalty, even if I am Alexandrian. Also, didn't you say you need to marry someone who you…" Lizzi swallowed heavily. "…love?"
"…Truthfully, I don't love anyone right now," the crown Princess replied quietly. "But I've known you longest. And I think I could learn to l-love you, if I had the chance." Her gaze turned to her childhood friend, her servant, her confident. "Are you willing to take the chance, too?"
"'Nd that." Gulping heavily, Lily slammed the tankard as hard as she could onto the bar…and then some more, until the handle clanked off and she gave a crow of satisfaction. "'nd THAT'S how I fucking saved the motherfucking KOMALIAN PRINCESS from a fucking life of fucking loneliness and—and helped fucking merge the fucking kingdoms together!"
"You mean 'we,'" sighed Soleil. It was her turn to remain sober. "We got Princess Drift and Lizzi—well, now it's Princess Lizzi—together. And how we merged the Komalian and Alexandrian kingdoms to create the Komandrian kingdom. "
"To be f-faaaaaaaaaaaaaaair…" Rie slurred happily. "We didn't knoooooooow…we didn't know th't Lizzi was the cousin of the…'f theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…" She trailed off, expression morphing into a rather confused look.
"The Alexandrian Prince?"
"THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT." As the bartender gave Lily another mug with a raised eyebrow, she grabbed at it and downed it as mead dripped down the sides of her face. "The fucking betrothed's fucking cousin, of all fucking things." She put the tankard back on the counter, clinking it against the bar until it chipped. "This fucking tastes like piss," she spat. "I wouldn't destroy all these fucking cups if it didn't taste like fucking piss."
Soleil folded her arms and raised an eyebrow, leaning her back against the counter. "You're the one that refuses to drink utopia wine."
"Someone's gotta save the fucking money." She replied.
"Sooooo…that made Lizzi…uuuuum…almost royaltyyyyy…"
"Close enough of one to merge the kingdoms when they got married."
"What a fucking…fucking…" Lily paused, looking for a good word. "What a fucking coincidence." She slammed the cup on the table, laughing loud enough for the entire bar to turn when it broke into shards on the table.
"You're paying for that, y'know," sighed the bartender, having known the identity of the trio for two years and having dealt with them for even longer. Lily shrugged.
"That's just fucking…that's just fan-fucking-tastic," she grinned.
"Yep, I'd say that pretty much sums up the world at this point," grinned Soleil, slapping a particularly large royal emerald onto the table and smiling as Rie slurred, Lily swore, and the bartender kept up the neverending stream of liquid quicksilver far into the night.
For everyone who was wondering, the bartender is Yew.
Yeah. I don't like this one as much. I haven't talked to Drift in a while...or Lizzi, for that matter, which is probably why I found characterization harder.
I used alternate names for a lot of us. Lily is Iris, Soleil is Sunny, Rie is Joan, Jordan is Jordan, Elda is Tate, Lizzi is Lizzi, Kime is Apple, and Drift is Drift.
Drabble Wordcount: 3, 872 Words