Disclaimer: I don't own YYH, or Naruto. I do, however, own Shio and if anyone tries to take him there will be pain involved.
Warnings: Yaoi, Kurama/Hiei. Not Shio/Hiei, although Shio will be his normal sex-obsessed self.
Currently I am using a 13 year old computer with slow dial up internet, so I'm doing the best I can. The only thing this computer has over my other one is that the spell-check works. At least the number of typos I make will be down to a minimum.
This will be Kurama/Hiei, not Shio/Hiei, even if Shio does do an enormous amount of flirting. That's mostly for fun. Please enjoy my second chapter, and thanks to everyone who reviewed, I promise this chapter will be longer! It's a little awkward writing this chapter, but once the story gets going, I imagine it will be much smoother. I didn't know whether to make Shio polite or normal, so I went with both!
Flame me and I flame you. (Clicks lighter menacingly)
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"I am your genie." Now Hiei knew this guy was crazy. Some kind of deranged psycho had dressed up in harem pants, was pretending to be a genie, and was planning on doing who knows what to him.
"Get the hell out of here before I kick your genie ass!" Regardless of the fact the only thing holding up his towel was his own death grip, Hiei was thoroughly prepared to use whatever means necessary to protect himself.
"Would you like me to go back in the lamp, master?"
"Stop fucking around before I call the cops!" That was an empty threat. There was no way he was going to bring the police into an apartment full of drugs. Hiei would get shipped off to a juvenile detention center and then probably back to the orphanage. But it this guy was a serial killer, would that really be worse than dying?
"Okay, what the hell do you want?" Stall for time, which was the only thing he could do. If he could get the guy talking, maybe he could inch his way over to the kitchen drawer. He had a few knives in there, and the creep appeared to be unarmed.
"I am here to fulfill your every wish…" The man paused. "Unless you would like me to go back in the lamp?"
"Go ahead!" As suddenly as the man had appeared, he was gone. There was no puff of smoke of flash of light, he was simply gone.
"Holy shit!" Hiei lunged forward and snatched the lamp off his bed. As strange as it was to have the man just disappear, Hiei was not thoroughly convinced about his genie status. He was, however, fairly worried about what whoever was playing this prank had in store for him. They had obviously gone to great lengths to make it seem like this man was a genie, so it was either a hidden camera show, or there were a bunch of wackos following him around.
"Okay, let's try this again." He rubbed the side of the lamp again and the strange man appeared again, a few feet in front of him.
"Yes, master?" He asked politely.
"Get back in the lamp!" Hiei ordered. Once again, the man was gone and Hiei rubbed the side of the lamp again. He reappeared.
"Are you sure you don't want anything?" He asked just as politely, although annoyance was starting to show on his face.
"Back in the lamp!" Thinking back on it, the closet seemed like a logical choice. Dark, enclosed, probably without hidden cameras, which meant that no one could see him freak out. One more rub to the lamp.
"Are you-The hell with it! What the fuck do you want?!" This was shouted into his ear and with a startled yelp Hiei pushed open the door to the closet and fell out onto the floor. The so-called genie stepped out and looked down at Hiei as if he were a bug that he wanted to step on.
"Are you going to make a damn wish or not?!" He demanded. His stance might have been threatening, but the harem pants and the curled shoes dispelled any sense of intimidation Hiei might have had.
"You're crazy!" Hiei hissed as he looked around for a weapon. The man stared at him for a few seconds before his expression changed to one of concern.
"…Are you ill, master?" The man asked.
"Stop calling me that! Who the hell are you?!"
"I am a genie-."
"Your name! What the hell is your name?!"
"Whatever the hell you want, mas-…sir."
"You don't have a name?"
"My previous master called me Ryan."
"Don't you have a name? The name you were born with?" The man's face darkened for a moment before he stood up straight and answered.
"My name is Shiozaki Marusii Arukeshora Yamatoyama." He rattled off the long name as if it was nothing and Hiei barely understood a word of it.
"That's a long name." He blurted out.
"Might I know the tile you want I should address you by, sir?" Hiei blinked like a moron for a moment as he tried to figure out that sentence. The man's strange alternation between slang and formal was rather confusing.
"My name is Hiei. No sir or master or any shit like that."
"I understand ma-Hiei. If it would please you, I could shorten my name."
"To what?"
"How's Shio work for you?"
"Um…yeah…Do you have to talk like that?"
"Like what?"
"You keep switching back and forth between formal and…well, not."
"Have I displeased you? I am deeply sorry." Hiei rolled his eyes. Shio definitely had problems.
"Could you pick one and stick with it?"
"I can go with that." Okay, he had obviously chosen non-formal.
"So…you're really a genie?"
"Really a genie!" Shio smiled brightly at him.
"Do all genies look like you?" Shio instantly had a look of intense pride on his face.
"Hell no! I am the hottest genie on the market, so you better feel blessed! Think of the creepy bastard you could have ended up with! Instead, you got the wonderful me!" Shio put a hand on his chest when he said the last part and Hiei almost expected a spotlight to appear complete with squealing fans.
"Oh…So you don't all wear…that?" He gestured to the harem pants and the curled shoes.
"I wear whatever the hell my master wants and my last master thought the genie look was hot."
"Whatever they want? But what if they want you to wear a dress or something really weird?"
Shio shrugged. "I aim to please. So, give me an outfit and I'll where it!"
"I'm not buying clothes for you!" Hiei snapped.
"Then wish for them! I am a genie, after all!"
"Okay, if you're a genie…you really can grant wishes?" Hiei sat down on his bed.
"Yup!"
"Only three?"
"I'm yours until you get tired of me."
"So that means unlimited wishes?"
"Mostly…" Dark eyes shifted and Hiei was instantly suspicious.
"What does that mean?"
"I do have…certain limitations…" Hiei crossed his arms over his cheat and waited for Shio to elaborate, but he didn't.
"Such as?" He prompted.
"Well…" Shio started, but Hiei held up a hand to silence him.
"You can't kill, bring anyone back to life, or make anyone fall in love. I know, I've seen Aladdin."
"What's Aladdin?" Shio asked, but when Hiei glared at him he sighed and continued. "I can kill. And I can reanimate corpses, but they'll eventually fall apart and rot, not to mention it's gross. And I can make your body want someone, but I can't actually alter their mind, so I can't do love…I also can't grant you the ability to roller skate."
"Roller skating? Isn't that kind of…random?" Shio put his hands on his hips and pointedly looked away.
"It's not my fault. Learn on your own if you want to so badly. Don't bother me with your pathetic inadequacies."
"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about your inadequacy." Shio turned back to him with a look or righteous indignation, but Hiei kept going.
"So what if I wished to be ruler of the world? Why hasn't anyone wished for that?" Why hadn't anyone wished for that? If it were as easy as wishing, why wasn't one person controlling the world with their genie tethered to their throne, making wish after wish and dominating the entire human race? It sounded like a good idea.
"A few people have wished for that."
"…And?"
"I made them ruler of the world." Shio replied simply.
"Then why isn't the world being controlled by someone? What's the catch?"
"What catch?" Shio wasn't looking at his face, instead at his feet.
"There's always a catch. Please tell me."
"I can alter no one's mind but my master's. So they thought they were ruler of the world, but no one else did and they were put into a psycho ward for the rest of their lives."
"And they still wished for it after you warned them?" And evil and very chilling smile spread across Shio's face.
"I didn't warn them."
"But you told me…"
"That's because you asked nicely." Hiei opened and closed his mouth a few times
"Seriously, are you sure you're not a prostitute?"
"Unless you want me to be one." Hiei took a second to ponder that and his face burned.
"Never mind…" They stood there in an awkward silence and Hiei cleared his throat.
"So…do I have to feed you?"
"No."
"…Can I wish for food?"
"Yeah."
"Food?! I wish for food! Now!" Shio wasted no time in clapping his hands together and, with a large puff of smoke, every available surface was covered in various platters of food.
"I thought you didn't use smoke?" Hiei asked as he sat down at the table and pulled a platter of what looked like beef stir-fry towards him.
"I felt like it. You seem very skeptical, so I thought I'd throw in a special effect."
"Okay." Hiei then proceeded to completely ignore Shio as he dug into feast before him. He had never had access to this much good food, he half expected to wake up and find out that it was all a horribly wonderful dream.
"Who's the hot redhead?" He choked on the piece of meat in his mouth and looked over at his bed to find Shio sprawled across it, holding a very familiar book in his hands.
"That's private!!!" Hiei leapt out of his seat and had ripped the book out of Shio's hands before the genie could utter a word. He shoved it back under his mattress and glared at the creature on his bed.
"Why were you reading my journal?!" He demanded.
"I was bored. And I wondered why there was a book under your mattress." Shio's lips curved up into a mocking smirk. "So, who's the hot redhead? Your boyfriend, perhaps?"
"N-No! I-It's none of your damn business!" But the red that flared up Hiei's cheeks confirmed it. The redhead in the book was someone important.
"Alright. Suit yourself." Shio flopped back on Hiei's bed in a suspiciously nonchalant manner, but Hiei had no intention of continuing their discussion. Not only was it embarrassing, and giving Shio way too much to use against him, but there was a feast waiting for him on the other side of the room.
"Hey, Hiei?"
"What?"
"Are you going to put some clothes on?" Hiei looked down and blushed. He was still clad in his towel.
"Stop staring at me!" He snapped when he noticed that Shio's eyes were not on his face.
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The small boy was eating faster than any person Shio had ever met. It was as if he was afraid the food was going to be taken away. Shio's dark eyes narrowed as he looked over Hiei's petite frame. He could definitely use a few good meals. Shio himself didn't need to eat. In fact, he didn't have to sleep, drink, or even breathe. However, after a few masters telling him how creepy it was to not hear or see him breathe, he began doing it simply for appearance's sake.
He had long since forgotten how it felt to be hungry, and it was a sensation he missed at times. Not that he was going to tell anyone else that. He still had his pride.
He looked around the tiny dwelling and felt a sneer tugging at his mouth. Most of his masters had been wealthy to start with and had heard about the legend of the lamp. They had pursued him because of their own greed. The diminutive boy in front of him was one of the first to actually deserve what he had to offer. Perhaps he had been a little too…normal…with his new master.
"Hiei," He sat up on the bed and waited for his master to stop eating. A few seconds later, Hiei was looking at him impatiently.
"What?"
"I'm sorry," It was surprisingly hard to say that. Maybe because he meant it for the first time in several hundred years.
"For what?"
"For trying to trick you." Shio took a deep, unnecessary breath before he continued. "I promise to tell you the truth regarding any questions you have."
That was it. Genies never made promises and he had just made one to a master he had known for thirty minutes. Never mind the fact that the boy's mere presence made Shio feel good.
"Oh…thanks…" Hiei didn't trust him. He could tell that the boy was waiting for him to say something, to give him something else to weigh in his mind.
"That's all," He said, and he flopped back down on the bed, feeling incredibly awkward. At least his new master wasn't quite as angry about his attempt at tricking him. It made the pain in his chest ebb a little.
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One would think that being in the same house as a creature with extreme magical powers would make you feel a lot safer. As it was, it just made Hiei all the more paranoid.
"I have to go back in the lamp?!" Shio repeated for the third time in the last two minutes.
"Yes! And stay in the lamp!" Hiei ordered from the bathroom as he tugged his shirt over his head.
"Whhhhhhhyyyyy?" Shio deliberately drew out the word in the most irritating way he could think of and was rewarded by Hiei throwing him a nasty glare as he emerged from the bathroom.
"Because I don't trust you and I don't have an extra bed!"
"Do you think I'm gonna draw on your face while you're sleeping? I've got morals, master."
Truth be told, Hiei hadn't planned on keeping Shio in the lamp while he slept. Unfortunately for Shio, he had looked up from his homework when he noticed that the light on ceiling had been transformed into a disco ball and that his genie was fishing out of the kitchen sink. The really strange part was that he was actually catching fish.
Apart from being incredibly annoyed by the disco ball and the fact that his kitchen now smelled like fish, Hiei had realized one crucial point that Shio had forgotten to mention. His genie could do magic without Hiei's permission. And if Hiei just left him to himself while he slept, who knew what Shio would do? There was a chance he could wake up in the middle of nowhere in nothing but his boxers. Or Shio could just burn his apartment to the ground...
"You don't need an extra bed! I don't sleep!" Shio insisted, again.
"So you're just going to stare at me all night? That's creepy!"
"You're creepy!" Shio shot back and stuck out his tongue in a rather childish manner. Hiei picked up the lamp and held it out.
"Get back in the lamp." Shio crossed his arms and turned away.
"No!"
"I wish you would get back in the lamp and stay there." Shio whipped around with an outraged gasp.
"That's not fair!" He shouted before he disappeared with a small pop. Hiei smirked and set the lamp down on the table. Shio had been in there for a few hundred years, what were a few more hours?
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Shio sighed as his master shifted in his sleep and mumbled something that sounded like 'Krama'. What the hell was a Krama? Or who, judging by the apparent nature of the dream. Either the blankets were arranged strangely, or Hiei's dream had evolved past the land of pastries that it had been in earlier. Shio desperately wanted to see who the boy was dreaming about, but his dip into Hiei's subconscious had brought him closer to awakening, and another would wake him up. And waking up with someone else in your head was never pleasant.
"What are you dreaming about, master?" He said as Hiei gave a small moan. His dark eyes drifted to the tented blankets as he wondered how he should handle this. If it were any of his other masters, he wouldn't have hesitated to take care of their problem. But Hiei hadn't shown interest…Of course, it could be that he didn't think he could make a wish like that.
If he decided to take care of it and Hiei woke up, then there would be too reactions. Either Hiei would let him continue…or Hiei would freak out and order him back into the lamp. Or worse, he would get rid of him.
But Hiei was very attractive, so Shio would be passing up a great opportunity, and he did have those teenage hormones… That settled it. Shio slowly began peeling back the blanket that was twisted around Hiei's legs. He did have a very nice body and almost no body hair at all. Shio wondered if the boy had hit puberty yet. That might be the reason he was so short.
"What are you doing?" The slurred mumble froze Shio's hand as he made to slide it under the waistband of Hiei's boxers.
Unnatural red eyes were half open and looking at him in sleepy confusion. Shio probably had about thirty seconds before Hiei's brain woke up and he figured out what Shio was up to. What a bad idea this was.
"I thought you were injured!" He blurted out.
"What?"
"Yeah! You sounded like you were in pain!" Shio gestured wildly with his left hand and while Hiei's eyes watched its movement, he removed his right hand from its position.
"M'not in pain." Hiei mumbled as his eyes started to close.
"Sorry, my bad." Shio waited for Hiei's breathing to even out before he slowly stood up and backed away.
That had been a really bad idea.
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"I love food." Hiei said as he leaned back in his chair. He had a stomach full of one of the most delicious meals he had ever had, his apartment was warm, and he had a steaming cup of coffee just waiting to be drank.
"Food is very wonderful."
"Yes, we're all aware about how wonderful food is!" Hiei smiled at his very disgruntled genie, which was standing next to him holding a tray.
"Put a few more lumps of sugar in my coffee, will you?" He asked. Shio practically threw the sugar cubes into the cup and stirred it viciously.
"We genies do have uses besides serving coffee," Shio spat.
"Like what?"
"Like granting wishes and doing things slightly more dignified than pouring coffee!"
"Why are you so pissed off? Are you telling me that you've never had to serve someone before?" Shio put a hand on his hip and stared moodily at the wall.
"What did your other masters have you doing? Housework?" Shio finally made eye contact with him.
"You're a naïve child, aren't you?" Hiei bristled at the comment, but Shio continued.
"Think about it. I'm hot, and I have to do whatever you want." Hiei just stared at him and Shio sighed.
"Think about it in a more perverted sense." A few seconds later, Hiei's face went red.
"T-That's…Hell no! You want me t-to…make you do stuff like that?!"
"Why do you think my last master made me wear this?"
"Because he was a geek?"
"No…well, yes…but it was mostly because he thought the whole 'genie slave thing' was really hot. But can you blame him? I am hot!" Hiei rolled his eyes. He just had to get the genie with the ever inflating ego.
He was able to eat in silence for only a few minutes.
"So…sex?" Shio asked hopefully.
"No."
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There was so much I had to fit into this. Explaining an entire genie concept was harder than I thought. Don't worry. The rest of Shio and his origins will be explained in due time. As for Kurama, he will probably appear towards the end to the next chapter. I have to create a base before I can move on to everything else. Please review. I do love reviews. And by the way, this fic will be Kurama/Hiei, although I can't say Shio won't make a few attempts, simply because he's Shio and is always looking for an opportunity to have sex.