Title- She Was: Another Perspective
Rating- G
Disclaimer- I own nothing.
Timeline- I don't receive UPN where I live, so I'm not up to date on BtVS. So, ignore what's happened in it and bear with me.
Note- Ok, So I was bored. You may want to read "She Was" which is from Angel's perspective, but it doesn't matter which one you read first. They'll both make sense. Enjoy!
**********
I was sleeping when he called. Snuggled under the warmth of my own bed.
I was restless when he called. Tossing and turning as my dreams invaded my mind.
I was not expecting him to call. But he did with news that shocked me to the core.
**********
I reached for the phone that was ringing off the hook. I hoped Dawn wouldn't wake up.
"Hello?" I said with remnants of sleep in my voice.
"Buffy?" His voice was familiar. But it held sadness in it.
"Angel?" He paused, I guess not knowing how to begin.
"She's dying." It was plain and simple, and I had no idea who he was talking about. I should have known, but I didn't.
"Who's dying?" I asked confused.
"Cordy." His voice cracked. He was crying, he had been crying, and he would probably cry again. My eyes widened in shock.
"No." I couldn't believe it. How was she dying? How was it possible? He didn't reply to my confusion.
"I'm so sorry, Angel." There was nothing else to be said. So I said it again.
"I am so sorry."
"She wants to say goodbye." My heart broke. After so many years, she wanted to say goodbye. And after everything that had happened in high school, she wanted to say goodbye. I was reluctant to say yes. I didn't want to say goodbye to a dying soul, but how could I not?
"We'll be there by morning." I clutched the phone tightly waiting for him to say something else, but when I heard the click on the other end, I knew he was going back to her. He was going to comfort her.
I jumped out of bed and threw on some clothes. I had yet to react to the news. My mind was racing with things I had to do before I left. I went into Dawn's room and woke her up with a gentle shove.
"Dawnie?" She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and looked up at me.
"What? What is it? An apocalypse?" She asked frightened.
"No, no. Everything's all right. Willow, Xander, and I have to go to LA."
"Oh! I want to come!" She asked with slight vigor.
"No, Dawn. You have to stay here. I'll get Tara to watch you. We won't be gone long."
"Why are you going?"
"A friend-" I paused as I said that. A friend. Cordelia as a friend. And she was.
"A friend is dying and we have to go say goodbye." Dawn looked upset and nodded.
"Ok, I'll be fine." I kissed her forehead and said goodbye. She watched me hurry out of her room.
**********
I knocked on Willow's door cautiously. She wasn't sleeping, instead I found her reading in bed.
"Will."
"Oh, hey Buffy. Is everything all right?" When I didn't answer her she put her book down and looked back up to me.
"Who called?" I told her it was Angel. And I told her about Cordy. She scrambled out of bed quickly.
"I'll be ready in a minute." She said slowly. I let her room and headed downstairs.
I picked up the phone and called Tara. Told her the situation and she said she would be there soon. As I hung up I noticed a presence within the room. Spike was glowering in the corner.
"Hello love." He said slyly.
"Spike. Now isn't the time." I choked out, about ready to sob.
"What is it?" His smirk was replaced with concern and he hurried over to me.
"Angel called. Cordelia's dying." He looked into my eyes and he took my breath away. He gave me a hug and then released me shortly after.
"Are you going to LA?"
"Yes. I still have to get Xander."
"I'm coming with you-"
"I don't think that's the best idea, Spike."
"Stop it. I'm coming with you." He was determined. I couldn't say no. Willow then approached us ready to go. I looked at her sadly and we headed out to Xander's.
**********
Xander was asleep with Anya when I knocked on their door. When he opened it he was dressed in a blue robe holding a baseball bat with Anya tucked behind him.
"Buffy. What's going on?" He looked behind me, expecting some sort of demon. But the only demon I had behind me was my past.
"Xander." It's all I could say. How could I tell him this? I put my hand on his bat and lowered it for he was still armed with it.
"We have to go to LA." He looked at me perplexed and then he took note of my solemn expression.
"Angel?" And I looked up to him and shook my head.
"Cordy." He let out loud, short sigh. He lowered his head and invited me in.
"Just let me, let me get dressed." He choked out. Anya stood next to me in her nightgown.
"What's happened?" She asked me curiously.
"Cordelia's dying." Anya nodded sadly and went back to the bedroom just as Xander emerged.
"Let's go."
**********
Xander had protested Spike's presence, but then Spike replied heartedly,
"What, I can't say goodbye to the cheerleader too?" Xander simply nodded and we drove off in Spike's car.
The first part of the trip was silent. No one spoke. No one had anything to say. And then Willow started.
"Remember when Cordy had to help save us from when the town wanted to burn us at the stake?" I was amused at how random she had been. Trying to find the best quality out of Cordelia Chase.
"Yeah, I remember." I said earnestly. Then Xander spoke from the back of the car.
"She was my first real girlfriend, ya know." He paused, catching his breath. He had been waiting to say that.
"She wasn't everything I'd wanted, but she was great. It didn't exactly end nicely, and to my surprise I was the one who had ended it. And I don't mean to forget the things she did to me. To us. She was a bitch, and just because she's dying doesn't mean I have to praise her." I was shocked at what he had said. Sure, he was right, but not being very respectful.
"Xander!" I exclaimed.
"He's bloody right, ya know." Spike said from the driver's side.
"He may be right, but that doesn't mean we have to-" I stopped. I didn't know where that was going. He was right. Part of Cordelia's personality was her bitchiness.
"Never mind. You're right, Xander. She was a bitch."
"She's changed." Willow spoke up from beside Xander.
"How do you-"
"I just know. I had to go and tell them when you died. Sure she was dressed up in some weird princess get-up, but she held Angel when he cried. I've talked to her a few times, over the internet. She seems. She seems nicer."
"Queen C? Nice? I don't buy it. Three years in LA couldn't have changed her that-"
"Of course it could." I replied blankly. And when the rest of the group didn't comprehend I continued.
"Look at us. We've all changed. Hell, Willow's a lesbian now and Xander you're getting married. Three years will change a person."
They didn't respond to my outburst, and we drove the rest of the way in silence. When we pulled up to the Hyperion hotel it looked massive. Some lights were slightly dimmed and I saw that the lobby was open and lit up.
"Are you guys ready to go in?" They nodded and I lead the way. I then saw Wesley coming towards us.
"Wes?" I was a bit taken aback by his rough exterior and the tears streaming down his unshaven face.
"Oh. Hello." That's all he said, he moved past us quickly and hailed a cab. He jumped in quickly and the taxi sped up the road. It was strange to see him like that, but I shrugged the thought off when I knocked on the door to the Hyperion and saw them.
They were hugging. Angel grasping onto her for dear life and her arms around his neck. I would have been jealous. I would have been envious. If I hadn't been so damn sad. Just seeing her made me want to cry. And before I knew it I had gone to her and we were hugging.
I released her and Willow moved to embrace Cordelia. We were all silent, but I guess there was nothing to say. And then I saw Xander. He looked so devastated. He hadn't said anything to us in the car about him being so upset. Cordy grabbed him and held him and he cried.
Spike then emerged and hugged Cordy. I was taken aback at his welcoming, and so was Cordy.
"Thought I'd follow the trend." Cordy laughed, and once she did, so did I. She was taking this death thing well.
She mentioned something about a gun and Fred and she thanked us for coming. Angel asked to speak with her privately and she told us to make ourselves comfortable. I looked to Xander seeing him realize that three years could change a person. I wasn't shocked, but I was pleased.
We all went out for breakfast and we met their friends. I didn't say anything to Angel yet. We simple smiled towards one another. When we were talking over breakfast there was an odd silence and Cordy spoke to Angel. She lifted his hand and kissed it. And once again, I wasn't jealous. Despite all the sorrow that was about to befall this group, Angel was smiling. Cordy had made him smile. And in a time where I would have made him brood, Cordy made him laugh. God, he was going to miss her.
And that was it. Our time was Cordy had come to an end and we went back to the hotel and prepared to leave. I was going to miss Cordelia more now. Before, I thought she was a cold hearted bitch, but now that I knew the real Cordelia-the loyal, loving, and endearing Cordelia, I didn't want to go. I didn't want to leave her. I didn't want her to die.
As Willow said goodbye to Cordy, I moved to Angel. It had been the first and last thing I had said to him all night. I told him if he needed anything to call me. I then said goodbye to Cordelia, which was probably one of the hardest things I'd ever have to do.
She told me to enjoy life. And I intend to.
**********
The ride back to Sunnydale wasn't as quiet as the ride to LA. We were all upset, but somehow, Cordy put us in better spirits. I noticed Spike's wet face when he came back to the car. We were all crying, but we laughed at the same time.
"She's different." Xander stated somberly. And that's when he broke down even more.
"God, she's so different." I looked in the rear view mirror and noticed Willow comforting him.
"We'll never get to know her now. She won't get to do the things we'll get to do. She's just going to be gone." And as I took in Xander's last comment, I realized something.
"That may be true, Xander. But think about it. She's had three years in LA, she turned into a better person. Some people can live their entire lives without changing. Without realizing what's important. But she did." I saw him nod and the rest of the trip was silent.
We dropped Xander off at his apartment, and I got out to say goodbye.
"It'll be okay, Xander." He sighed and gave me a hug.
"You meant a lot to her." He turned and left and I got back into the car.
We drove back home knowing that Cordelia would be gone by the next day. We knew that she would never have the chance to get married. We knew she would never get to see Angel shanshu. We knew she would never get to see us again. But we also knew that she had changed. And she would die a strong, loving, person who affected everyone she met. She helped the hopeless. And she will never be forgotten.
Rating- G
Disclaimer- I own nothing.
Timeline- I don't receive UPN where I live, so I'm not up to date on BtVS. So, ignore what's happened in it and bear with me.
Note- Ok, So I was bored. You may want to read "She Was" which is from Angel's perspective, but it doesn't matter which one you read first. They'll both make sense. Enjoy!
**********
I was sleeping when he called. Snuggled under the warmth of my own bed.
I was restless when he called. Tossing and turning as my dreams invaded my mind.
I was not expecting him to call. But he did with news that shocked me to the core.
**********
I reached for the phone that was ringing off the hook. I hoped Dawn wouldn't wake up.
"Hello?" I said with remnants of sleep in my voice.
"Buffy?" His voice was familiar. But it held sadness in it.
"Angel?" He paused, I guess not knowing how to begin.
"She's dying." It was plain and simple, and I had no idea who he was talking about. I should have known, but I didn't.
"Who's dying?" I asked confused.
"Cordy." His voice cracked. He was crying, he had been crying, and he would probably cry again. My eyes widened in shock.
"No." I couldn't believe it. How was she dying? How was it possible? He didn't reply to my confusion.
"I'm so sorry, Angel." There was nothing else to be said. So I said it again.
"I am so sorry."
"She wants to say goodbye." My heart broke. After so many years, she wanted to say goodbye. And after everything that had happened in high school, she wanted to say goodbye. I was reluctant to say yes. I didn't want to say goodbye to a dying soul, but how could I not?
"We'll be there by morning." I clutched the phone tightly waiting for him to say something else, but when I heard the click on the other end, I knew he was going back to her. He was going to comfort her.
I jumped out of bed and threw on some clothes. I had yet to react to the news. My mind was racing with things I had to do before I left. I went into Dawn's room and woke her up with a gentle shove.
"Dawnie?" She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and looked up at me.
"What? What is it? An apocalypse?" She asked frightened.
"No, no. Everything's all right. Willow, Xander, and I have to go to LA."
"Oh! I want to come!" She asked with slight vigor.
"No, Dawn. You have to stay here. I'll get Tara to watch you. We won't be gone long."
"Why are you going?"
"A friend-" I paused as I said that. A friend. Cordelia as a friend. And she was.
"A friend is dying and we have to go say goodbye." Dawn looked upset and nodded.
"Ok, I'll be fine." I kissed her forehead and said goodbye. She watched me hurry out of her room.
**********
I knocked on Willow's door cautiously. She wasn't sleeping, instead I found her reading in bed.
"Will."
"Oh, hey Buffy. Is everything all right?" When I didn't answer her she put her book down and looked back up to me.
"Who called?" I told her it was Angel. And I told her about Cordy. She scrambled out of bed quickly.
"I'll be ready in a minute." She said slowly. I let her room and headed downstairs.
I picked up the phone and called Tara. Told her the situation and she said she would be there soon. As I hung up I noticed a presence within the room. Spike was glowering in the corner.
"Hello love." He said slyly.
"Spike. Now isn't the time." I choked out, about ready to sob.
"What is it?" His smirk was replaced with concern and he hurried over to me.
"Angel called. Cordelia's dying." He looked into my eyes and he took my breath away. He gave me a hug and then released me shortly after.
"Are you going to LA?"
"Yes. I still have to get Xander."
"I'm coming with you-"
"I don't think that's the best idea, Spike."
"Stop it. I'm coming with you." He was determined. I couldn't say no. Willow then approached us ready to go. I looked at her sadly and we headed out to Xander's.
**********
Xander was asleep with Anya when I knocked on their door. When he opened it he was dressed in a blue robe holding a baseball bat with Anya tucked behind him.
"Buffy. What's going on?" He looked behind me, expecting some sort of demon. But the only demon I had behind me was my past.
"Xander." It's all I could say. How could I tell him this? I put my hand on his bat and lowered it for he was still armed with it.
"We have to go to LA." He looked at me perplexed and then he took note of my solemn expression.
"Angel?" And I looked up to him and shook my head.
"Cordy." He let out loud, short sigh. He lowered his head and invited me in.
"Just let me, let me get dressed." He choked out. Anya stood next to me in her nightgown.
"What's happened?" She asked me curiously.
"Cordelia's dying." Anya nodded sadly and went back to the bedroom just as Xander emerged.
"Let's go."
**********
Xander had protested Spike's presence, but then Spike replied heartedly,
"What, I can't say goodbye to the cheerleader too?" Xander simply nodded and we drove off in Spike's car.
The first part of the trip was silent. No one spoke. No one had anything to say. And then Willow started.
"Remember when Cordy had to help save us from when the town wanted to burn us at the stake?" I was amused at how random she had been. Trying to find the best quality out of Cordelia Chase.
"Yeah, I remember." I said earnestly. Then Xander spoke from the back of the car.
"She was my first real girlfriend, ya know." He paused, catching his breath. He had been waiting to say that.
"She wasn't everything I'd wanted, but she was great. It didn't exactly end nicely, and to my surprise I was the one who had ended it. And I don't mean to forget the things she did to me. To us. She was a bitch, and just because she's dying doesn't mean I have to praise her." I was shocked at what he had said. Sure, he was right, but not being very respectful.
"Xander!" I exclaimed.
"He's bloody right, ya know." Spike said from the driver's side.
"He may be right, but that doesn't mean we have to-" I stopped. I didn't know where that was going. He was right. Part of Cordelia's personality was her bitchiness.
"Never mind. You're right, Xander. She was a bitch."
"She's changed." Willow spoke up from beside Xander.
"How do you-"
"I just know. I had to go and tell them when you died. Sure she was dressed up in some weird princess get-up, but she held Angel when he cried. I've talked to her a few times, over the internet. She seems. She seems nicer."
"Queen C? Nice? I don't buy it. Three years in LA couldn't have changed her that-"
"Of course it could." I replied blankly. And when the rest of the group didn't comprehend I continued.
"Look at us. We've all changed. Hell, Willow's a lesbian now and Xander you're getting married. Three years will change a person."
They didn't respond to my outburst, and we drove the rest of the way in silence. When we pulled up to the Hyperion hotel it looked massive. Some lights were slightly dimmed and I saw that the lobby was open and lit up.
"Are you guys ready to go in?" They nodded and I lead the way. I then saw Wesley coming towards us.
"Wes?" I was a bit taken aback by his rough exterior and the tears streaming down his unshaven face.
"Oh. Hello." That's all he said, he moved past us quickly and hailed a cab. He jumped in quickly and the taxi sped up the road. It was strange to see him like that, but I shrugged the thought off when I knocked on the door to the Hyperion and saw them.
They were hugging. Angel grasping onto her for dear life and her arms around his neck. I would have been jealous. I would have been envious. If I hadn't been so damn sad. Just seeing her made me want to cry. And before I knew it I had gone to her and we were hugging.
I released her and Willow moved to embrace Cordelia. We were all silent, but I guess there was nothing to say. And then I saw Xander. He looked so devastated. He hadn't said anything to us in the car about him being so upset. Cordy grabbed him and held him and he cried.
Spike then emerged and hugged Cordy. I was taken aback at his welcoming, and so was Cordy.
"Thought I'd follow the trend." Cordy laughed, and once she did, so did I. She was taking this death thing well.
She mentioned something about a gun and Fred and she thanked us for coming. Angel asked to speak with her privately and she told us to make ourselves comfortable. I looked to Xander seeing him realize that three years could change a person. I wasn't shocked, but I was pleased.
We all went out for breakfast and we met their friends. I didn't say anything to Angel yet. We simple smiled towards one another. When we were talking over breakfast there was an odd silence and Cordy spoke to Angel. She lifted his hand and kissed it. And once again, I wasn't jealous. Despite all the sorrow that was about to befall this group, Angel was smiling. Cordy had made him smile. And in a time where I would have made him brood, Cordy made him laugh. God, he was going to miss her.
And that was it. Our time was Cordy had come to an end and we went back to the hotel and prepared to leave. I was going to miss Cordelia more now. Before, I thought she was a cold hearted bitch, but now that I knew the real Cordelia-the loyal, loving, and endearing Cordelia, I didn't want to go. I didn't want to leave her. I didn't want her to die.
As Willow said goodbye to Cordy, I moved to Angel. It had been the first and last thing I had said to him all night. I told him if he needed anything to call me. I then said goodbye to Cordelia, which was probably one of the hardest things I'd ever have to do.
She told me to enjoy life. And I intend to.
**********
The ride back to Sunnydale wasn't as quiet as the ride to LA. We were all upset, but somehow, Cordy put us in better spirits. I noticed Spike's wet face when he came back to the car. We were all crying, but we laughed at the same time.
"She's different." Xander stated somberly. And that's when he broke down even more.
"God, she's so different." I looked in the rear view mirror and noticed Willow comforting him.
"We'll never get to know her now. She won't get to do the things we'll get to do. She's just going to be gone." And as I took in Xander's last comment, I realized something.
"That may be true, Xander. But think about it. She's had three years in LA, she turned into a better person. Some people can live their entire lives without changing. Without realizing what's important. But she did." I saw him nod and the rest of the trip was silent.
We dropped Xander off at his apartment, and I got out to say goodbye.
"It'll be okay, Xander." He sighed and gave me a hug.
"You meant a lot to her." He turned and left and I got back into the car.
We drove back home knowing that Cordelia would be gone by the next day. We knew that she would never have the chance to get married. We knew she would never get to see Angel shanshu. We knew she would never get to see us again. But we also knew that she had changed. And she would die a strong, loving, person who affected everyone she met. She helped the hopeless. And she will never be forgotten.