Chapter 2
Home Improvement
Today's the day! It's a big wonderful happy day! Day 2 of my survival so far! I have put together a bullet list of what I have learned from my slumber:
Zombies are scary
Skeletons are fucking loud
Creepers creep
Spiders climb all over my house
I think I heard a chicken
You should've seen the zombies burn. Actually, that wasn't too happy. Sure, I have found peace that the zombies are still blocky, but...they look like people I've met before. Not like friends or anything, but people I've made small talk to in lines at the movie theater or McDonald's or something. I remember this zombie. He was the fat guy who screamed at the poor fry cook for forgetting the pickles. This zombie looked just like him, but just a bit more skinny, because you know, hitboxes.
After washing my face with some water, I set out to find a cave or mountain. It honestly didn't take too long, because there's only so much flatland you can go through before you find something not-so-flat. So I eventually found a mountain with coal lining the sides of it. Using my trusty wooden pickaxe, I mined out some stone and used my workbench to craft an even trusty-er stone pickaxe. The wooden pickaxe will be fuel tonight. I almost feel bad for it.
I gathered around 30 pieces of coal (which made my hands and probably the inside of my rucksack very black), and a stack of cobblestone. I went back to my log hovel and crafted some torches and a furnace to put next to my workbench in my house so they can have some company. That's something I kinda need right now, but it's the second day, not the third. Hopefully the Girl can swim better than I could. Speaking of swim, that's something I did back home. I'm kinda missing home now, with Guilson writing some crazy sex joke or story, and...I don't know. I miss social interaction.
I went back to the evil beach, took off my clothes, and dove in. I swam around for a while and hoped would clean myself of whatever dirt I had on me. By the time I came back to collect my clothes, the water was significantly darker than when I came to the beach. My clothes also need an overhaul, something with a better chance of survival. I heard wool keeps 80% of your body heat, even when wet.
Wool clothing is something I really do need. There was a blizzard on the other side of the mountain and it was getting colder by the hour. I don't even know the body type of the Girl thanks to the mysterious note not giving me any clues. So, the Girl would probably get grabbed by tentacles through her monitor, dragged into cold water, swim up, and hit ice. She could be the sexiest chick ever and probably drown to death before I was done eating my breakfast.
I continued working on some tools and made myself an axe, hoe (heehee), shovel, and sword to keep my pickaxe company too. They're like a band of merry cobblestone, and I'm the band of Going Insane by the Second. To combat this, I have dubbed my dirt block Wilson, and Wilson keeps me company whenever I come back. Wilson is a really cool guy, like Alex but not a backstabbing home-schooler.
It was really cool crafting the set of tools though. If you knew how to craft them from the wiki, you just had to put them together on the grid and they would snap together with a loud PLOP sound, and you would have your tool. I mean, if you were trapped in Minecraft because of some spam email.
Suddenly, while leading a path of grass to Wilson so he could have hair, I heard a loud and low rumbling sound from my stomach. I suddenly leaned over in agony and clutched my stomach. I haven't eaten in a whole twelve hours. This needs to be rectified.
I drew my sword from my rucksack and went out to find the spider who bounced on the roof the entire night. Thankfully, the spider did not have a face of anyone I knew, except maybe the spider that fell in my water glass when I was drinking from it one night. It made a tsk sound, right when I jumped on top of it and spilled it's guts over the trees behind it.
That would've happened if I trained with my sword more. Instead, what really happened is that the spider bit out my leg while I flung my sword around in a desperate attempt to chop off it's leg. I did get the leg though, but my leg wasn't so good. I eventually killed the spider and took it's string, and went out hunting for it's cousins, and got similar results, except this spider was a bit dumber and decided to hop instead of going for my vital organs. Hopping is another thing I don't care for right now. After using my sword to it's fullest capabilities, I had enough string for a fishing pole.
I limped back to my shelter and laid some sticks down with the string.
PLOP!
They snapped together and made a fishing pole, and somehow a bobber too. No matter. A fishing pole is a fishing pole is a fish trap.
I went over to the accursed beach and flung my pole behind me and snapped it forward. The line went some distance into the water, about twenty feet, and the bobber rested on the surface. Wilson was with me to keep me company and for something to sit on, too. I waited for a minute or so, and my bobber went under the surface.
I jumped up off Wilson and snapped my pole back behind me. What I got was a faceful of fish coming back at bicycle speed. If you think 12 miles per hour isn't bad, wait until you get a fish coming at you.
Wilson was happy enough to rest my rucksack on him as I went through my supplies and made sure I was good to go after a couple of hours of fishing. I've caught a whopping pile of ten fish, and my stomach and I both agreed that it would be better than nothing. I can't wait until I figure out how to make grilled cheese sandwiches. Until then, fish.
As the fish was cooking on top of my wooden pickaxe, I took the time to remodel the log cabin into a wooden plank cabin. All of the logs I retrieved came back and crafted into more planks, for a better pyramid shaped roof. It looked better this way. I liked it. It just needs some windows and I'll be set.
I went to the beach and grabbed a dozen blocks of sand and lugged it back to my house. Dumping the sand out of my rucksack and shaking out any extra bits of sand from my hoe, I took my fish out and threw in the sand. The pickaxe was nothing more than ash now, but I guess ash could be used for something later. So I took it.
Then, while gnawing on a fishbone, I used my extra planks to craft a double chest and hold all of 'unwantables' for later use. Wilson can stay on top of the furnace. It's getting colder and colder outside the closer it gets to night. Which reminds me, I need sheep.
I went out into the grassy flatlands until I found a pair of sheep. I used my fishing pole to tie a knot around each of their necks, and pulled them all the way home. I used the rest of my planks to make sticks, and in turn, fences. I made a nice big grazing area for the two sheep to hang out and mate and make sheep babies for me to manipulate.
Wilson and I traveled back to the mountain and found some iron on the other side. I looked at the view of the mountain's backside and it was even foggier with snow and the wind was blowing harder this way. Biomes don't move, do they?
I brought the couple blocks of iron to cook, and I used the new glass to make windows. Honestly, this was much easier than I thought it would be, but I guess cutting my hands on the glass did suck a bit.
I took my sword and went out to practice on, well, anything, I'm looking for a fight, and damn it I'm going to get one. I need to get better before I encounter anything worse in bigger quantities.
My sword, Wilson, and I went out to go find some prey to destroy. I found a skeleton under a tree who shot me in the shoulder with an arrow, a creeper who blew the buttons off my shirt and probably pushed my organs to the back of my torso, and a zombie who tore up my arm. I am not a good swordsman, no matter how much six-year-old me thought I was. Still, I had experience with the four main things that want me dead. Experience is better than instinct, I guess.
I headed back home and set Wilson down on the furnace, and then I made some makeshift shears out of two iron bars, and sharpened the shears on a piece of cobblestone. I headed out the hole in my house and sheared the sheep to almost naked skin, and left some wool on them for the upcoming blizzard. The biomes are moving, and fast. The blizzard was a couple more blocks closer than it was this morning. This morning, I estimated the temperature to be about 80, now it's at 75-ish. Tomorrow, it might be 65 degrees out. That isn't too good for the Girl who may show up in a frozen beach.
I made a couple bed frames from wood and made some mattresses and pillows out of the wool I got from the sheep couple (who are apparently having a better time than me, working all day long). I threw myself into the bed and catnapped a bit. My house is turning out great.
Problem is, I'm about to share it with someone real soon. Bigger problem, I have no experience with girls. From all the Minecraft fiction I've read, the guy is usually some awesome jock brainiac who knows how to manipulate girls into marrying him somehow. I mean, you don't even have a priest. I can't even get a girl to tell me the time of day.
Yet, I sit on my workbench and think about her a usual teenager my age would think. Is she cute? Is she smart? Does she have boobs? Is she going to be friendly? Would she do her share of the chores I'm going to have every day? Will she be 21 or 8? I'm only 15, and I barely even make my bed. Doing these mundane tasks today nearly killed me. I cut my hands on the glass and nearly fell off the mountain I climbed for that last piece of coal. I bandaged my hands with leftover fish, but now I had extra wool to make bandages. My hands hurt like hell now. So I guess Minecraft in this world has specific types of damage, other than poison and fire. I can get cut and my limbs can be maimed, I've learned that much.
Nightfall was coming once again. I hate night. I ran to my chest and checked to make sure I had some fish leftover in the double chest, and then I crafted a door. 2x3 grid of planks sat down, and a mini door popped out of the workbench. I threw it on the empty hole in the wall, took off my rucksack and placed on it on the other bed, and put my sword by my own bed. I drifted off to sleep, dreaming of sheep and fish...
CLANK CLANK CLANK
Oh God there's a bunch of them. And I think I heard a spider humping my door.