So, I'm not going to lie, I'm already a little hooked to updating this story and I've only written the first chapter...
Rollins POV
For the second morning in a row, I'm rudely dragged from my slumber. The pounding of the door, that I am slouched against, rudely awakening me. A very nearly empty bottle of whiskey led down on the floor beside me. It takes me a minute to rouse myself enough to even contemplate moving.
Ignoring the door, I glance at the clock on the wall. Shit, shit, shit, it's already 10.30am. I'm exceptionally late. Pulling my cell out of my pocket quickly, I notice the battery is dead. Shit. I quickly stand, checking the spy hole on the door. Shit. Olivia.
It's too late to hope she'll just leave. Especially if she's been trying to call me since god knows what time. I rest my head against the cold wood door for a second. Trying to think, the pounding in my head making that nye on impossible.
Olivia bangs on the door again. The knocking causing the door to vibrate through my already painful skull.
"Alright, Alright." I say, mostly to myself since I'm in a situation I can't even explain my way out of right now.
I open the door, and turn my back towards the entrance before heading to the kitchen for water. I don't even bother to greet my boss. She's probably going to fire me on the spot, so there's no point even trying. I turn the faucet on and run it for a second, grabbing a glass off the side. I fill it up and down the water, instantly regretting the speed at which I have drank it as my stomach begins to churn.
Leaning slightly over the kitchen sink, I half expect Olivia to have started shouting by now, but she hasn't said a word since I opened the door. I take a shaky breath.
"Say whatever you came to say." I tell her quietly, as I feel her gaze on me from the kitchen door.
"What can I even say Amanda?" She responds. The use of my first name isn't lost on me. I think it's the first time I've ever heard it escape her lips.
"If you're going to fire me, just do it lieutenant." I fire back, the bitterness evident in my tone.
"Is that what you want?" She answers, Olivia's tone softer than it's ever been when she's talking to me. The kindness catching me off guard as I turn to look at her.
"Why are you even here?" I ask after a few moments of silence, choosing to ignore her question about whether I want to lose my job or not.
"Because your phone kept going straight to voicemail." She tells me. I pull my cell from my pocket and launch it towards her. She catches it, takes one look at it and rolls her eyes before placing it down on the kitchen side.
"Battery died." I say noncommittally with a shrug.
"And the not calling the precinct? Was that because your cell is dead or because you were passed out drunk?" The question surprises me.
"Both?" I answer, causing her eyebrow to raise as I shrug. There's no point in me lying. She almost definitely stepped over the nearly empty bottle from last night on her way through the front door.
A silence settles between us again. I turn back to the sink, filling my glass with water again, drinking it slower this time. Thinking about the crappy situation I once again find myself in.
"What's going on Amanda?" My lieutenant finally asks me. Her body now alongside mine at the kitchen sink.
"Nothing." I state bluntly. I don't want to talk about it, I never want to talk about it.
"Ok, well, go shower. I need your help." She tells me, her tone infinitely softer than usual.
I nod sharply and leave the room, heading to the bathroom to shower before I have to endure a day with my boss who happens to hate me and think I am incompetent. This should be fun. I don't rush with my shower, waves of nausea washing over my body regularly. I lose myself in the warm water.
Banging on the bathroom door. I'm having a bath, I know I've been in here a long time, but locking myself in the bathroom is the only way I have of escaping the hell that lives within my house.
My stepfather is banging on the bathroom door. I ignore him. Dropping my head below the water line, the liquid muffling the sound ever so slightly.
Raising my head back out of the water, I finally respond to him. If I don't, I know he'll never go away.
"What?" I shout, my tone one filled with annoyance, even for a twelve year old.
"Hurry up." He shouts back, and a few seconds later I hear him head back downstairs. I release a shaky breath. One of relief.
I pick up the razor from the side of the bath, beginning to shave my legs. Anything to prolong the time within this locked room. I knock the skin on my ankle, the sharp metal of the razor causing the skin to tear and bleed quite rapidly for a tiny cut.
Something in me changed that day. Something big.
I quickly finish in the shower, unable to stand the water any longer. Within a few minutes, I've brushed my teeth, ran a comb through my blonde locks and I'm dressed, standing back in my living room. My living room that looks substantially cleaner than when I left it for a shower.
"You didn't have to do that." I say, completely embarrassed that my boss seems to have cleaned up my mess, once again.
"I don't mind. It was better than standing around waiting. Are you ready now?" Olivia asks me, compassion and honesty filling her tone. I just nod, grabbing my keys and my cell that is now partially charged thanks to the lieutenant.
"Where are we going?" I ask once we are settled in her car.
"To see the victim from yesterday." She tells me, and I suddenly wish I could have just stayed passed out on my living room floor. Great. This is going to be a fun day.
"Why? Has something changed?" I ask cautiously.
"No, I just want to try and convince her again to talk to us. She deserves that chance. A chance to tell her story." Olivia tells me and I know she's right, but why does it have to be this case, this victim? And why me?
"Why me? Why not Fin or Carisi?" I ask, my voice clearly showing my exasperation.
"Because they're men, and you aren't. You know how this works Rollins. She's just a kid, she's a little girl, that's been terrorised by a man. She is never going to open up to one of the guys. You know this." She tells me.
"I know, I know." I respond, taking myself to looking back out of the window.
I'm sat in the passenger seat of my stepfathers car, we are driving through country lanes. Heading home, whilst I stare out of the window. Obviously averting my gaze from him. Suddenly I feel his hand on my thigh.
Typically I have a skirt on, of course I would. His hand slides up the inside of my thigh, coming into contact with my panties below my skirt.
His fingers brushing against my most intimate area.
I feel like I'm going to be sick. Opening the car door, I lean out quickly and empty the contents of my stomach into the road. It's then that I suddenly realising I'm not even in my stepfathers car, but Olivia's. I can't tell if she's pissed off or worried, her expression is really hard to read right now.
Olivia hands me a bottle of water from her bag, allowing me to swill my mouth out. The sentiment greatly appreciated.
"Rollins, that's twice in two days." Olivia stated flatly. I'm not sure what she wants me to say about it so I just shrug at her, before training my gaze back out of the window.
Shortly, we arrive at the house of the young victim we need to speak to. Olivia leads the way, I hang back, not even really wanting to be here as it is. But I put on a brave face, I do my job. Somehow I need to try and prove I'm not a complete fuck up, not matter how much I am.
A few seconds after Olivia knocks the door, a young girl opens it.
"Hi Elena. I'm Olivia, we met yesterday, do you remember? Is your mommy home?" My lieutenant speaks softly to the young girl who nods, then allows us in the house.
We follow her into the living room, where her mother is lead on the sofa, looking a lot worse than either of us expected. Olivia and I share a look.
"What are you doing here?" Elena's mother asks, her voice hoarse, her breathing shallow as if she can't catch her breath.
"We can't to see if we could talk to Elena again." I say trying to keep my voice devoid of any anger.
"Why do you want to talk to her? She said she didn't say those things." The girl's mother begins to get angry and we are left with no choice but to leave. She's extremely sick and if Elena won't talk, there isn't much we can do at this point.
We leave without saying another word. I hand a card to Elena just before she shuts the door behind us, telling her she can call me anytime.
The ride back to the precinct is quiet. My mind is occupied with that poor girl. Olivia doesn't say anything. She just leaves me to my own thoughts.
It isn't until hours later, when I'm sat at my desk and rubbing my temples due to the pounding headache I have that Olivia interacts with me again.
"Rollins, my office." She says from her office doorway.
I sigh before standing. Here we go again.
I enter her office and she closes the door behind me this time before telling me to sit down on the couch. I do at a I'm told. Too exhausted to argue right now.
I head my lieutenant moving around but keep my gaze on the floor. Not entirely ready for the ass kicking that I expect is coming.
Feeling Olivia sit down next to me, I finally stop looking at the floor to look at the woman beside me. She hands me a bottle of water and two Tylenol. She doesn't say a word, just waits for me to take the pills with the water. I sit for a minute, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it doesn't. The silence continues.
"Why are you being so nice? All I've done lately is cause you hassle." I eventually ask when the quiet becomes too deafening.
"You're clearly not ready to talk about whatever is going on. But I'm your boss, you're part of this team. I care about you Amanda, we all do. I was out of line yesterday, you don't need tough love at the moment and I see that now. I just want you to know, we are all here for you, whatever it is, whenever you're ready to open up." She tells me, her hand gently stroking my back.
Her words catch me completely by surprise. This is a stark contrast to yesterday. I'm not sure what has changed but I appreciate it all the same.
Hit review please guys. I hope people aren't finding this too hard to read. Please look after yourselves and don't read anything which may cause you pain. Thanks x