My take on John and Kayleigh attending Donna and Rick's Wedding.
Peter Kay's Car Share: A Christmas Surprise
Chapter 2
A few muffled chatter and whispers followed John and Kayleigh, while they were quickly trying to find the seats and avoid further embarrassment. The worst thing of all, they had entered the church just as the vicar was asking the question "If anyone knows a reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace." Donna couldn't believe how long they were taking to find their seats. Two of the sales colleagues Esther and Darren watched on as Kayleigh had managed to find her seat as well managing not to knock over one of the festive candles that had been placed at the end of the oak church pew bench. As there was plenty of room, she gestured for John to sit next to her.
"Bet, Mr Redmond and Kayleigh have been shagging somewhere."
"Darren! You can't say shagging in a church"
"Why not?"
"it's unacceptable that's why."
"Well everyone's probably thinking it, thinking the same as me. So it needs to be said."
The vicar carried on once John and Kayleigh were now seated. Being the centre of attention was not what John had wanted today. However, Kayleigh was clearly loving being under the watchful eyes of her colleagues. She and John were officially a couple, besides they had nothing to hide anymore from those who they work with at the supermarket. Donna looked pretty unimpressed by John and Kayleigh's late arrivals while she listened to Rick saying "I do", repeating the vicar's words.
After Donna and Rick had exchanged their vows and rings, they were then declared husband and wife. Kayleigh wasn't watching the couple as Rick sloppily kissed Donna, no she couldn't take her eyes off John. Remembering what she'd said back in the car earlier. She was looking forward to how the rest of the night would pan out for them. Hopefully ending the night in bed with John's arms wrapped around her she imagined.
"Kayleigh? Hello Kayleigh?" John could tell, she was experiencing another one of her daydreaming moments. He had to whisper in her ear, the wedding service was over and that they were now allowed to leave along with the other wedding guests. She snapped out of her daydream when the strong tone of John's voice managed to get through to her.
"I'm so sorry... I didn't say anything smutty did I?" Kayleigh whispers back. She waits for the last of the guests to walk past before she moved from the bench area and onto the walkway.
"No, you didn't. If you had you could have had us escorted out of the church. Oh, Rick was looking our way when he and Donna went past, probably thought this could have been you, Kayleigh. Just give me the word and I'll have him in a headlock." John's protective instincts were wonderful to see. Protecting the woman he loves. Kayleigh's heart melted at the sight of him suggesting he would teach Rick a lesson not to eye up Kayleigh again.
"Come on let's get out of here before I start singing Sex Bomb, You're My Sex Bomb, Jonathan Redmond at the top of my voice." Kayleigh said with a huge smile on her face.
John and Kayleigh then walked hand-in-hand out of the church and across the snow-covered pathway that led out of the church gates.
She and John were glad the wedding reception/party wasn't until 7:30 pm that evening. Although John had originally been invited only for the wedding itself, Kayleigh had managed to persuade Donna to upgrade his invite to an All-Day one instead.
"I don't want to be staying too long at the party. I mean what if Elsie tries and gets her hands on me. That woman will shag anything that moves. Christ..." John shuddered at the thought of finding himself alone with Elsie.
"She won't get her hands on you. I'll see to that, that she doesn't. Anyway, I don't think she'll be able to do much after she got a telling off from Dave Thompson aka the dickwad" John couldn't help but laugh at Kayleigh's new nickname for Dave, it was certainly one that suited the grumpy Scot. "Remember she tried it on with his nephew, who'd come to visit the store the other week."
"Can't see her getting off with anyone at the party." John lived Elsie wouldn't stand much of a chance of getting lucky with anyone at the party.
"Why?"
"Well, she'll only be the single person there, won't she?"
"I heard Rick's gone and invited Stink Ray to the reception. Ray's single too." Kayleigh pulled a vomit-like face as soon as she realised she was going to be in the same room as him for a few hours.
"Oh yeah, so he is." A lightbulb moment suddenly hit John. "Them two will go together like two peas in a pod."John smiled, knowing he can possibly relax better now knowing Elsie will be more likely to get her claws into Ray, the moment he says something nice about her.
"Well, they're welcome to each other as far as I'm concerned." Kayleigh agreed. She wondered how long it might take her two colleagues to get it on with each other. Fingers crossed, it wouldn't take the two long to disappear off somewhere for their get together moment.
"I thought you're meant to be her best friend?" John asked.
"I am but sometimes she can be a right nightmare. Just wants to know how your sex life is. She kept asking me three days on the run before Christmas if I've ridden you like a Grand National horse yet." Kayleigh revealed one of the many questions Elsie had asked her while the two were spending their lunch break in the staff canteen.
"Me a Grand National horse?! Cheeky woman! So, what did you tell her?" John was slightly offended to hear which words Elsie had used to describe him as.
"Course, I didn't tell Elsie anything because I know she's a right nosy cow." Kayleigh promised she hadn't breathed a word to her Irish busybody colleague.
"Tell me about it. Anyway, fancy heading back to the car? We could check to see if there's a service station around here, that'll fill her up and then maybe afterwards. We can drive up the hotel and book into our hotel room. How does that sound?" John couldn't wait to check out the hotel room he had booked for him and Kayleigh.
"I think that sounds like the best plan ever" Kayleigh said before placing a kiss on his cheek. She was desperate to do a whole lot more than kissing him on the cheek. They didn't seem to mind the walk back down the steep road to the car park of the nearby pub where the car had ended up in.
The Lancashire village looked tranquil and pretty. A place where you could easily settle down if you weren't a fan of living in the city and preferred the quiet country life instead. The first building they walked past was named David Dickinson's Crown Jewels and then another building, which was a Mini Supermarket named Mourinho-sons.
"What groom wears Liverpool socks and black trainers for his wedding day?" Kayleigh asked. She had seen the colours of Rick's socks not long after she and John had taken their seats. She easily recognised the club's badge on the side of his left foot.
"I don't know. Wouldn't be something I'd do at a wedding."
"And then has 'Oops I Did It Again' as their Just Married song."
"I know. Don't think I've heard someone have a Britney Spears song as their wedding song before. Anyway, you can talk, you told me a few months ago you wanted Runaway as your wedding day song." John laughed. He could never understand why any couple could choose such a cheesy song as their wedding day song.
"Yeah alright leave it." Kayleigh giggled like a schoolgirl. Once she calmed down a moment or two later, she decided to tell him which new songs she had in mind for her own wedding one day. "Well, if we do get married someday. I was thinking me and you could have a song each."
"Oh, and how would that work?"
"Well, you could the song for me to walk down the aisle to."
"Do we have to do this now? discuss wedding days song choices while we're walking."
"Uh yeah! So which song would you choose John?"
"Alright then, Wonderwall by Oasis." John looked reluctant at first to discuss wedding day song choices but seeing as she had brought it up and knowing she obviously wouldn't let him get away with keeping tight-lipped about his answer, he knew he had to reveal what song it was.
"Aww I like that song but what would it really say if you have it as your wedding day song" Kayleigh asked. She needed a better description of why this song by Oasis might be a suitable choice for their future wedding day.
"How much we love each other and that you're MY Wonderwall Kayleigh Kitson or better still, we could just have one of Robbie Williams' songs, I've always liked She's The One." SAs they got more into their conversation, John seemed to relax better and to open up more about wedding day song choices.
"I've never liked Robbie's solo music. The only song I've liked of his was... Angels. Had it for my Nan's funeral 10 years ago. Beautiful song." Kayleigh surprised John by revealing she's never really followed much of Robbie Williams' music from the moment he quit Take That.
John and Kayleigh had been talking so much after leaving the church that they had just come to realise they were now standing on the corner of the street of which John had made a failed attempt to drive up, over an hour ago.
"Aye, it is. So where's my car then?" John asked while he walked around, searching for it in the wrong car park, the car park in question belonged to a local Dental Surgery named Rylan Clark's Dazzling Dental Surgery. Kayleigh had to tell him he had unfortunately picked the wrong car park to look for it in.
"It's in that pub car park over there" Kayleigh pointed towards the pub where she last remembers seeing it. A few tree branches covered in snow had ended up on the roof of the White Fiat, once it came to a stop. The pub landlord wasn't best pleased with how close it was to one of the outside benches.
"Eh? what that one called The McWee Pub?" John looked amused when he saw the name of this pub. "What's the pub landlord's name then, Ewan McEwanFace?" John shook his head in disbelief.
"John now you're talking silly. Come on let's get your car. I'm sure the SatNav Lady's missed you." Kayleigh couldn't resist winding him up a little bit more.
"Pfft, the SatNav Lady missing me. You're winding me up" John's facial cheeks flexed while laughing away at Kayleigh's suggestion as he strolled over the road ahead of her. "I'm not turning her on soon as we get the car filled up." John had a number of CDs he wanted to listen to on the drive up to the Haigh Lodge Hall. He couldn't bear another minute of listening to the SatNav driving him up the wall.
"Okay, whatever you say." Kayleigh thought best to leave the matter alone and concentrate on getting the car up and running again. They had only three and half hours to get the car sorted once and for all, surely this would be a piece of cake for them?
John opened the door of the Fiat and checked the dashboard to see if the fuel light was still signalling a low fuel warning. It was. He wasn't willing to give the car another push along another street especially after the disaster that unfolded earlier. Seeing as he hardly knew much about the area, John went inside the pub to ask any of the locals where there was a local service station around the village.
Kayleigh sat in the car, while she waited for him to return. She text Mandy, updating her with the latest news from the wedding.
"Wedding was okay. Rick the A-hole looked like he'd got changed into his suit in the back of a car. Donna looked lovely although she looked mad at me and John for turning up late. I'll phone you later once I and John have booked into our hotel room x"
Kayleigh glanced over at the pub, which had the loveliest of festive decorations around each of the windows - Snowflake lights and garlands.
John promised her, he would only be in there for a minute, nearly ten minutes later he was still inside the pub. She knew she would have to go and fish him out of there if he failed to return in five minutes time. It was getting a bit frustrating, she had to admit. John finally returned back to the car and was immediately met with a bit of a frosty reception from Kayleigh.
"John! you told me you weren't going to take long asking the locals about the nearest service station." Kayleigh folded her arms and sat back in the car.
"I know. I'm sorry for keeping you waiting. A few of them said they would give us a push up to the petrol station. Apparently, it's only within the next road." John hadn't meant to upset her over something as silly as not sticking to a promise.
"You weren't watching the football, were you? Steve did say there were a few matches being played today. Donna said Rick supports Liverpool. I wouldn't be surprised if he was wearing his Liverpool shirt underneath his wedding shirt as his lucky charm for today."
"I might have done. Anyway, forget that now. We've just got to wait for...here they are." Two heavy muscled blokes who looked like they could be long distance relatives of the Mitchell Brothers left the pub, were the blokes John had asked to help with pushing the car into the next road.
Kayleigh was busy admiring the bloke on her side of the car. She thought he was quite fit. John had nothing to feel worried and jealous about because the bloke was wearing a wedding ring and was too occupied with pushing the White Fiat, to notice he had gained an admirer in Kayleigh. Kayleigh smiled lovingly at him, interlacing her fingers with John's. It was her way of saying she isn't upset with him now.
"Kayleigh I'll make it up to you tonight, any way you want me to, you know." John suggested, little realising he had just planted a stack of ideas in her head. You're in for a big surprise soon as we settle into our hotel room, John Redmond She consciously smiled to herself. She wasn't going to give the game away just yet.
"Why are you smiling like that for?" John was completely stumped by her body language, one minute she's upset, the next minute she's calm and then the next minute she's looking the picture of happiness.
"Oh, nothing. Just me being myself as usual." Kayleigh tried her best to keep the perfect poker face, which she soon started to find she was getting really good at.
"I bet you are." John grinned, he knew she wasn't fooling him with her unconvincing answer. He'll get her back for it later. "Right we're here." They were practically there outside the petrol station within two minutes, thanks to the assistance of the blokes from the pub. John stuck his head out the window and gave them two thumbs up.
"Oh, so we are." Kayleigh said. "I'll get us a few treats for the road while you fill the car up with diesel."
"Diesel...Christ, you finally got it right. You have been listening to me. All you need to do now is get my band name right." Once he stopped talking, John rewarded her with a kiss on the cheek. John's kisses were so adorable and sweet to feel as he placed them on her cheeks and lips.
"So I have. Well, you keep telling me it's diesel. I guess the more you keep telling me it's the diesel the more the word sticks in my mind." Kayleigh explained, she wasn't as ditzy as John thought she was. Kayleigh had surprisingly become a very good listener.
A few minutes later, Kayleigh popped inside to the service station's shop to go and buy some sweets and crisps. Meanwhile, John was making sure that the Fiat was filled up with enough diesel for the 20 minute trip up to the Haigh Lodge Hall's hotel. John wasn't surprised when Kayleigh returned with a large plastic bag containing Revels, Pringles, Maltesers, a bottle of Vimto and other items which John didn't recognise.
"And they're meant for the road, are they? Feels like we're going to a music festival than going to a wedding reception, with the amount of food you've got for us in your bag for life." John thought it might be a good idea if Kayleigh left her bag for life in their hotel room.
"What's that there? Why have you got a tin of squirty cream in your bag?" John suddenly spotted the tin poking out of the bag. What on earth was she doing with that in her bag? Just like lightning striking a tree, John was struck by the possible fear that see intended to make use of this tin of cream in more ways than one.
"Yeah." Kayleigh gave a straightforward answer but she gave away no hint as to why she had it in her bag.
"Erm Kayleigh, I hope you don't mind me asking but what are you planning to use it for?" John asked as a few nerves crossed his mind.
"To put on food from room service, why what else did you think I was gonna use it for?" Kayleigh' seemed to be oblivious to John's assumption.
"On me, on yourself. Alright, love" John nervously greeted an elderly woman, who had been waiting impatiently to get past Kayleigh who was standing in her way. It looked as though she had the misfortune of overhearing part of their conversation. John and Kayleigh both became aware of the possibility of this and not wanting to hang around, they jumped straight into the car.
"And here was me thinking I was more of the fantasist out of the two of us." Kayleigh grinned to herself. John certainly had shown himself to be a little bit of a dark horse, so she thought but was something which John hadn't quite thought of himself as being.
xxx
After the SatNav Lady had pulled another stunt, this time involving her telling John to take a U-turn and then a left turn, while the Fiat was trying to navigate its way around a roundabout through busy traffic. The drive afterwards thankfully hadn't taken too long. In a matter of minutes, the couple had finally arrived at the swanky looking hotel.
"Hold the phone and start the trumpet fanfare, the king and queen are here" Kayleigh excitedly proclaimed as she took a moment to take in the view of the hotel from its Parisian-inspired main entrance. She was hugely tempted to throw her arms around John and give him the best kiss she had ever given him however she decided it would be far better to wait just a little longer until they entered their hotel room before she divebombed herself onto him and practically snogged him silly on the kingsize bed in their room.
"King and Queen?" John silently mouthed, raising his eyebrow while he was meant to be retrieving their belongings from the boot of the car. Being the absolute gentlemen he is, John insisted on carrying her two small suitcases into the hotel lobby. The suitcases weren't half heavy. Whatever she had in them, made it seem as though she had packed for a romantic week away somewhere.
The hotel's exterior and colour looked even more impressive, John and Kayleigh soon discovered upon entering the foyer of the hotel. Kayleigh was hoping none of the other guests from the wedding had booked themselves rooms here in the Lodge Hall's hotel.
As the evening slowly wore on, the weather was getting colder outside by the minute and the fear of snow was back on the cards, what with how orange the sky looked. John and Kayleigh were happily snuggled up on their bed while they listened to the Forever FM app on her phone.
"It feels so right, so warm and true
I need to know if you feel too"
"Look at that eh?" John caught sight of her, how amazing and beautiful she looked with her face lit up while quietly watching the 52-inch tv. When waking up every morning, he constantly had to keep pinching himself and reminding of the fact, that he was head over heels in love with a gorgeous firecracker called Kayleigh Kitson.
"John do you mean me or her off Hollyoaks on the tv?" Kayleigh had hardly paid much attention to what he said.
"I mean you, I certainly did mean that one off Hollyoaks with a right gob on her, did I?" John wasn't a fan of Hollyoaks, it was a soap he never really watched but had been forced to since the batteries in the tv remote weren't working. She tilted her head to the right, thoughtfully smiling to herself before she gazed up directly at him and eventually locking eyes with him.
"John!" Kayleigh giggled, he felt it instantly reverberating against him and through her body.
"Maybe I'm wrong
Won't you tell me if I'm coming on too strong
This heart of mine has been hurt before
This time I wanna be sure"
It had been less than 10-12 hours since they last kissed but now felt like the perfect moment to make up for that gap with a memorable kiss. Kayleigh put both hands on either side of his face and slowly leaned up to kiss him. John met her kiss with great ease and such remarkable confidence that made it look as though he was quite an expert at kissing.
"I've been waiting for a girl like you
To come into my life
I've been waiting for a girl like you
A love that will survive
I've been waiting for someone new
To make me feel alive
Yea, waiting for a girl like you
To come into my life"
Kayleigh crawled up on top of him as their kiss quickly took on an urgency like no other and straight away made good work of running her hands across his chest for the short time she was allowed to before John rolled her over, so she could lie back on the bed and he could kiss her deeply, take her breath away. She didn't want it to be that way not quite yet, so she flipped John onto his back.
"Uhh! What is that? What have I got on my arse?" John realised he had something soft and cold on his trousers particularly around the backside area. Their moment of intimacy had come to a hilarious halt much to the disappointment of the couple.
Kayleigh gasped putting her hands over her mouth to hide her shock and embarrassment, as she realised she had left a few items in the bed. "Oh, John I'm sorry. I think you've just rolled over my box of strawberries."
"You're having a laugh?" John climbed off the bed and headed straight into the bathroom, to inspect the fruity mess which was now squashed into the fabric of his trousers.
"No. If I was having a laugh, I'd be laughing now right in front of you, wouldn't I? I feel terrible now." So she ought to be but John couldn't let a moment of silliness like this spoil the early part of the evening for them. He had an extra pair of trousers in his suitcase, he planned on wearing for the reception. They were tartan trousers, ones he preferred to wear for some of Compendium gigs.
"Looks I'll have to get changed then, into my evening clothes." John shouted from the bathroom. His booming voice echoed the four corners of the bathroom walls.
"Mind if I watch?" Kayleigh asked while she was sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning on her hands.
"Cheeky woman." John mouthed to himself. He glanced over his shoulder, to make sure she wasn't having a sneaky peak from behind the bathroom door which he'd forgotten to close. It took John only 5 minutes to wipe most of the strawberry mess off his trousers with a handful of tissues.
"Come on let me watch...please" Kayleigh begged him.
"Alright. But don't be going all Full Monty on me, will you." John knew exactly what naughty antics Kayleigh was capable of getting herself up to, so he thought 'Why not?' no the reason why he shouldn't let her.
Anyway, it wasn't the first time she had seen him minus a pair of clothing. She had seen him in his vest minutes after' Pissgate' happened and again when he came over to Mandy's house at the beginning of December to pick her up but ended up getting sprayed with water by Alfie's water pistol. She'd persuaded him into allowing her to dry his trousers in the dryer.
John stepped out of the bathroom in his underwear, with his trousers draped over his right arm. Kayleigh's eyes feasted on this very delightful sight. She got so drawn to his legs that she forgot that she too needed to get ready soon for the evening wedding reception.
"Ahem...Hello, Kayleigh, I'm up here, not down there." John coughed loudly to get her complete attention.
Kayleigh gave an embarrassed giggle.
"I know. I can't resist myself can I. Well, you can't blame a girlfriend like me, for eyeing up her lovely boyfriend. There are no rules which states that I can't." Kayleigh was more happy to inform of this fact.
Kayleigh pulled him down with her on the bed. She intended to pick things up where they left off. John wriggled about like a worm. He didn't push her away which suggested he was up for having a few moments of passion with her.
"Christ, Kayleigh you're behaving like a woman possessed with me." John said before he felt her heavenly lips silencing him with a heartfelt kiss. The strands of Kayleigh's curly fiery red hair tickled both sides of his neck as she nuzzled closer to him, while she kissed him lingeringly. John ran his hands through her hair as he responded well to her warmest and tenderest of kisses.
The kiss felt like it had lasted forever by the time, they eventually withdrew from each other and relaxed their head back on the bed pillows. John slipped his arm around her waist, as he held her close to him like he had done some minutes ago and breathed in her hair.
"Can we not go to the party tonight and just stay in a room, you know...order room service and we could have our own private party instead. What do you reckon?" Kayleigh was beginning to enjoy spending some quality time in their hotel room so much so that she'd decided she wasn't going to attend the reception.
"I wish we could but I think us not being there might annoy Donna. I mean you went out your way didn't you, to talk her into allowing me to attend the wedding reception and if she sees we haven't"shown up she' isn't going to be best pleased with the both of us."
"She'll be too busy, enjoying Rick stroking her curls out with that bloody hand of his." Kayleigh had a pretty good feeling of knowing what will happen during the party. Donna had told her she was quite fond of Rick's bearlike hands. Kayleigh couldn't help but cringe afterwards. She didn't want to bear thinking about that hand especially after that time he was lusting after and slapped her arse a few times with it, as his way of saying he fancied her. He plucked up the courage to ask her but she shot him down with a unanimous 'No' within moments.
"Maybe so but that doesn't change the fact. We'll be snubbing the happy couple. Still, we can always take the chance to sneak out when their backs are turned." This was always the plan for John all along, he too didn't really wish to stay there too long.
"Oh, I wish I'd thought of that" Kayleigh pulled a 'How typical of me, not to consider this' look. "I suppose I need to change into my evening dress." Kayleigh lifted his arm up and placed it on the duvet. She sauntered across the room to retrieve her suitcase. She had handpicked two dresses for the weekend, one was a red Lace Skater dress from Dorothy Perkins and the other dress was an Emerald Green dress. Both were guaranteed to knock John for six.
She picked up the suitcase and put it on the bed, her hair needed straightening out and her curls restyled. She was going need to take at least 30 minutes to get ready.
"Close your eyes." Kayleigh said.
"Eh? What you on about? Why do you want me to close my eyes for?" John said as he fitted his legs into the trousers he'd chosen for the evening do.
"I want to try on my dress and I don't want to ruin the surprise of which one I'm wearing for tonight, do I?"
"Oh, and you don't want me to see you naked in case I get a...never mind." Only a few minutes earlier, he was in the exact same position, not wanting to be under the gaze of her eyes while he stripped down to his underwear.
"In case you...oh." Kayleigh bit her bottom lip, once she realised what revelation he very nearly admitted to.
"Well, you might as well blindfold me then because I'm shit at keeping my eyes closed." John didn't mind being blindfolded.
Kayleigh being careful, lightly blindfolded him with a piece of fabric she'd torn from one of her clothes inside her suitcase. This felt like a rather unusual yet teasing scenario they were sharing. Kayleigh proved she wasn't an expert at blindfolding as John could still see her through the piece of fabric. He didn't say a word though while she was getting changed into her red dress. It felt very much like witnessing one of his many fantasies happening for real.
Oblivious of the fact John had a sneaky glimpse of her dress through the blindfold, Kayleigh removed it from his eyes and did a half spin in the dress on her standing spot.
"So what do you think?" She hoped he loved it.
John didn't take long to give her his verdict. "It's perfect, Kayleigh. We best get going to the party then." He took hold of her hand and led her out of their room.
The evening was only just beginning but for John and Kayleigh, it was sure to be one they would never forget. What Kayleigh didn't know was that John had a small red box which he left in the room. It contained his Nana Rose's engagement ring. He had chosen tonight to propose her.
End of Chapter
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