*WARNING! Numerous anime and manga spoilers ahead. If you haven't finished the original TG series, read at your own risk.*

A/N: Hello everybody. I'm Caleb, and I have a story for you. I was slightly unhappy with the way that the Tokyo Ghoul manga and anime played out. So I've taken it upon myself to rewrite some of the happenings in the canon to fit my desires, while still seeming as realistic as possible. So in my Tokyo Ghoul AU, it has been three months since the Anteiku raid, but Kaneki is still Kaneki, and he never fought Arima, but Kaneki is going insane still and is trying to fix himself and regain control. Unfortunately Hide is still MIA, but only to give some personal drive to Kaneki's character. As well, Amon is alive for anyone who grew to like him, and I've added my own special characters who I'll be switching to the POV of every once in a while. And one more note: this story also features a Touka x Kaneki pairing and light dustings of romance later on. Please leave whatever constructive feedback you have, and enjoy!

Prologue

KANEKI

A white haired young man stumbled through the underground canals of Tokyo. These areas had become known as the 24th Ward by the local ghouls, and only they dared venture into the depths of the city. The young man had no choice. He was being hunted, and this place would give him refuge. He trembled, made weak from a long battle, and collapsed into a cold, damp wall. His vision was cloudy, any shapes in the dark becoming muddied and smudged together. "Come on, Kaneki. Breathe… get a hold of yourself."

He took several slow, controlled breaths and allowed himself to rest. He was relieved to be away from the gunshots, blazing fire, screaming, burnt rubber, and death. So much death. And over what? Ghouls, of course. Ghouls who rarely if ever did anything to disturb the peace. The CCG never seemed to care when it came to his kind. They simply killed, or rather exterminated the ghouls.

Tonight, Ken Kaneki could label himself the better person in this conflict. He had a chance to kill a very dangerous investigator, but decided against it. That investigator, Amon Koutarou, would hopefully live on to remember their encounter and the reluctant mercy of his opponent. That's unlikely, thought Kaneki, but maybe he will. No harm in hoping.

The young man regained some of his sight and composure. He stood from the concrete wall, supporting his own weight again. I should leave the ward, he thought. But something kept him here. An old friend he needed to find. Hide had to be somewhere close. If only he had some ideas as to where. He stood in silence for a time, thinking and trying to keep his mind clear of a panic attack.

GiVE it To ME… gIve UP yOUr MinD…

Panic attacks were the least of his worries. The leftovers of those he'd eaten still gnawing at his brain, the scraps of Rize and Yamori echoed guttural commands to his mind. "No…" he began. "That's mine… let me keep it." He wanted to finally have control again. It would not let him.

Ever since leaving Anteiku for Aogiri Tree, Kaneki struggled to maintain his emotions or restrain his actions. The loose ends he never tied up, Yamori and Rize, the ghouls he ate, never left him alone anymore. Give me back control…" He whimpered.

Kaneki could no longer restrain his kagune. It burst from his back and thrashed about. The force behind the hulking tendrils picked him up off the ground. He shot across the tunnel and landed face first in a puddle, his nose crunching on the concrete.

He collapsed in the putrid water beneath him and fought a war in his mind, writhing and flailing, wailing and screaming for it to stop. He begged to be free. The demons in him would not let him be free. He kicked and thrashed and clawed at the air, with no success. His pain only increased.

AMON

"Amon… please." A woman called to him. It was so quiet, like a whisper directly in his ear, but it seemed so far away. Was he dying? No. He couldn't be. He still had work to do. His colleagues needed him

Amon saw light in the distance. People always said not to go toward the light. He followed their instructions and opened his eyes, coughing dryly. Akira? She was kneeling over him, a single tear in her eye.

"Come on Amon, stay with me. Don't leave me, damn it!" Akira never spoke like this. He must have really been close to dying.

"I'm not going anywhere yet," he wheezed, cracking a tired smirk. She let a half-smile creep onto her lips, then wrapped her arms around Amon's still limp body. Why do I feel numb? He could feel his body was all there, but he couldn't move it.

Amon strained to recall the events of the night. Cold, death and destruction, a determination to fight and win. There was something else as well. Pain, something punching through him, warmth, and the nearby embrace of death. "What happened to the Eyepatch?" The reason why Amon ended up in this situation in the first place. They had met each other in battle and resorted to their only option, fight to the death.

But something about their encounter seemed wrong. Amon should have died if the Centipede was strong enough to put him in this condition. So why wasn't he dead?

Akira shook her head. "He escaped, Amon. But he wasn't the objective. We did what we came for, I think. I hope."

KANEKI

He coughed up water and blood, regaining some control over himself. Tears, water, and more of his own blood streamed down his face. He shakily found the will and the strength to stand. If this was not Hell, he was unsure how different it could be from this. If nothing else, he could now tell others he had been through Hell. All because he decided to eat another ghoul.

I need to find someone to help me, he commanded himself. He had a feeling Mr. Yoshimura was dead. Anyone else from Anteiku was likely dead as well, or far away from here. Knocking on CCG's front door would be utter suicide. Hide was likely gone; his family might never have existed. He was alone. He had nobody.

Maybe nobody could help him. Maybe he would suffer like this, totally alone, until he fixed himself. No, he could not accept that. He needed to hang on. He did not want to be alone. Selfish bastard, he scolded himself. But is that really so bad? If I want to help others, I need to help myself first. I can't give up yet. I can't let myself down.

Kaneki steeled himself. He did want to help the people he cared about, whether for his own gain or for them did not matter to him right now. He needed to keep fighting. He needed to keep getting stronger. He needed to save himself, and honor Mr. Yoshimura's dying wish. And he would.

"I won't let you control me," he told the voices in his head. They who had tormented him endlessly and indiscriminately for the last three months finally stopped screaming in his head for a moment. Like when he drank his first coffee as a ghoul, Kaneki felt hope. As his mind made room without the voices he would normally hear, a thought came to him about who he could now go to, if anybody.

"Touka and Hinami will never forgive me," he figured. They would sooner turn themselves in to the CCG than welcome him back to their lives. He still had to see if they were safe, at least. He would let them choose what to do with him from there.

Kaneki hardened his resolve once more, finding a way out of the sewage canals and into the midnight streets of Tokyo. I have a feeling Touka came looking for me. Even if she's upset with me something always seems to draw her back. If she ended up anywhere during the night, Anteiku would have been the place. He would look there first.

Even before seeing Anteiku he could tell it was gone. From around the corner,the amber glow of flames gave the answer to his question. He prepared himself for the worst. As the building came into view, he knew what he was looking at but could not comprehend it at the same time. The building had caved in and was now no more than a smoldering mess. No surprise, the CCG had purged everything to do with the 20th Ward ghouls they could get their white gloves on. The ruined building used to mean safety, a haven for any ghoul in need. In front of it knelt a slender figure, trembling and sobbing. Touka.

Kaneki carefully approached her from behind, not daring to touch her. She did not move. She was as still as a corpse, save her trembling. Kaneki stood mere feet behind her, for too long.

Kaneki took another step and Touka flinched. Kaneki stopped in his tracks. Touka croaked, "You just had to leave, didn't you?"

"Touka… I'm sorry," Kaneki replied in the only way he knew how to.

"You're damn right!" She stood and turned to face Kaneki. She stared into his soul. Kaneki had become jaded. She could no longer affect him. He stared right back. "What are you doing here?" Touka continued.

"The same thing you are. I'm paying my respects. And hoping to comfort a friend."

Touka's face wrinkled in a mix of anger and sadness. She tried to speak, but only squeaks and croaks escaped her mouth. She angrily cleared her throat. "If you think we're friends after everything you've done…" Touka clenched a fist, wanting nothing more than to punch him hard in the jaw.

The half ghoul shook his head. "I'm not looking for a lecture, Kirishima. Just to talk."

Touka had none of it. She threw her punch, closing the gap between them in one second. Her punch met Kaneki's hand, and he closed it tight around her fist. Touka wanted to bring her knee into his gut, but she was in no condition to continue. She fell forward into Kaneki's chest out of pure exhaustion, both mental and physical. Kaneki held her up and placed his free hand on the back of Touka's head.

She let herself sob into his tattered shirt. "It's gone… it's all gone."

"I know," he whispered. There was nothing else to say. Touka continued to sob, and Kaneki continued to run his hand over her hair. Within a minute, she had fallen asleep. Kaneki breathed a laugh, surprised she dozed off so fast. He slid an arm under her legs and cautiously picked her up. "I'll take you back to Yomo."

This moment in history felt like an end to conflict for some. Those who knew better planned for the next crisis. Nobody, however, comprehended what could come next. Not completely. Tokyo, in due time, would get torn apart at the seams.