They spent almost week at the twins house, and would have been there a full week had Sigyn not shown up. That had them leaving after a good laugh at Gabriel's expense when she managed to hit him in the ass with the pointy end of one of her knives.
Gabriel had called Jade a traitor, but she had cattily replied "I said I would give you a head start dad, I never said how much of one."
That had Narvi and Vali howling with laughter.
The twins left their house, after giving Jade a hug and stating she was definitely one of them now.
Sigyn was too busy talking to Gabriel's new lover to notice her children were heading to Earth to spread chaos. She didn't mind Sam, but she would use her ex-lover as target practice every time she saw him.
Gabriel was wondering why Lucifer didn't try to stop her.
Lucifer gave his little brother a Look.
"Brother, I might love you enough to help rescue your children, but there's no way in the pit I'm getting in between a spat with your ex," deadpanned Lucifer.
Gabriel pouted.
They were almost to the Marvel Earth when it happened.
Narvi and Vali had warned them about the Bifrost. Had told them of the side effects and how to know when it was active.
And yet they were still blindsided by the damn thing.
All three groups were sent spinning out of control, but it was Gabriel's who got thrown completely off course. They ended up in Asgard of all places.
Castiel's group ended up somewhere during Iron Man 2, to the amusement of Jade.
Out of all three groups, only the one containing Jade and Lucifer made it to the destination agreed upon by the group.
"Ow. Remind me why we let Dean pick the destination?"
"You were outvoted," said Lucifer flatly.
"Which one did we land in?"
"Looks like we hit the mark, but the place is a bit iffy. Why is there this much sand around?"
Jade immediately grabbed a pair of Omniculars out, and cursed under her breath.
"Good news, we landed where we agreed. Bad news, it's roughly when Tony gets picked up. Still, we might as well go keep him from dying of dehydration."
It took Jade ten minutes to get to Tony, and another five for him to realize that no, the fashionably dressed young woman and her group were not a mirage. He gratefully accepted the water bottle she handed him.
"You're not really dressed for the desert," he pointed out, once the fact he wasn't going to die of thirst finally sunk in.
"Of course we're not. We landed in the wrong damn continent. If those idiots in Asgard hadn't been using their fancy space bridge we would be in Malibu, not the Afghanistan desert," said Jade flatly.
Tony stared.
"Asgard? Space Bridge?"
Jade rolled her eyes.
"Are you aware of the multiverse theory?"
"That there are countless alternates of Earth scattered around time and space? It's a load of crock," said Tony.
"Less a load of crock and more along the lines of the paperwork is a nightmare to go through just to travel between the various planets. Time travel is less headache inducing. Either way we landed wrong because we weren't expecting the Asgardians to use the Bifrost while we were so close to this particular Earth," she said.
"Okay, I'm going to need liquor and a long explanation before I accept you're not from this planet," deadpanned Tony.
"You provide the liquor to everyone but the runt, and we'll explain things in a way that won't make your brain explode from the possibilities," said Lucifer amused.
"Deal. But first we'll need to get out of the desert," said Tony. This was too entertaining not to let them crash at his house. And he had a feeling that it would be worth the potential headache.
"Isn't that one of those weird helicopter things you told Crow not to get you?" said Fenrir.
Jade grimaced at the reminder.
Crowley had, one year, attempted to get her a helicopter as a joke before she made angel. Her Raziel movies would have made getting one simple.
The thing was she had no desire to get a pilot's license for something she wouldn't use that often. Besides, the FAA was a pain in the ass to deal with when she looked up what the requirements for owning a helicopter were and taking off. Dealing with the control towers in Hollywood for aircraft was simply too much a hassle.
So he compromised and got her a yacht...that she also never used except when she was between shoots. Really, she didn't see the point of big expensive toys when she rarely had the inclination to use the damn thing. Not to mention it was hard to keep the stalkers off her case when she was out in the open like that.
"Tony!"
"Ow. What the hell hit us?" asked Gabriel.
"I think we got caught in the bifrost by accident. Didn't the twins warn us about that thing?" said Sam wincing.
"Yeah, but I thought they were kidding!"
"Dad, shut up. The sun is too loud," winced Jor.
They all shut up when they heard a less-than-amused cough. Looking up, they found someone who rivaled Sam in the height department with dark skin and hawk-like eyes.
Gabriel took one look past him and grimace.
"Dad dammit... we landed on Asgard. Jade's never going to let us live this down."
"Any idea where Dean and the others landed?"
"Probably got thrown ahead of time. He was right behind the others remember?" said Gabriel finally standing up, though it was a bit shaky. He helped Sam and Jor up.
"Who are you and how did you pass through the bifrost?" asked the tall man bluntly.
"My name is Sam and this sugar-crazed idiot didn't take his son's warning about the bifrost messing with interplanetary travel seriously," said Sam equally flat.
"Well how the hell was I supposed to know that the damn thing was on roughly the same energy wavelength we use?!" said Gabriel annoyed.
"Vali and Narvi told you it would effect it before we left!" said Sam irate.
The man coughed again, a bit impatiently. He was a hair's breath between calling the guards and possibly Thor.
"Right, call me Loki, and this runt is Jor. We were trying to reach Midgard through an older path and somehow we ended up on the tail end of the bifrost. I'm guessing since we were in the front it grabbed us and dragged us to Asgard for whatever reason," said Gabriel.
"You are not Loki," said the man.
"Not your Loki. I'm from an alternate Earth," corrected Gabriel annoyed. He should have thought that much was obvious.
"Next time take the warning from your own damn children serious Loki!" said Sam. He could take a hint.
"And why exactly were you traveling on the old paths to here?" asked the man patiently.
"My brother demanded a vacation, and Loki mentioned it was possible to travel between Earths. It was just a pain to agree on which one," replied Sam automatically, before asking Gabriel "So can you sense Cas or Luc?"
Gabriel closed his eyes and winced.
"Whatever the hell this bifrost is made of, it's screwed up my power. It would take a week for this mess to straighten out, but knowing Jade's luck they simply missed the landing and Dean ended up in the wrong time. We were hit the worst from what I can tell," he answered.
"Great..." said Sam tiredly.
"I will inform Odin about your arrival. Stay put," said the man finally.
Gabriel and Jor winced. Odin was the reason why most of Gabriel's children were imprisoned until Lucifer killed him. Jor hid behind Sam and his father.
Gabriel was bored, Sam was exasperated, and Jor was almost near a panic-attack being in any version of Asgard with his father's power currently short-circuiting. Especially being that close to Odin.
Sam's first impression of Thor was that he was a stronger, much more annoying Dean. Loki was, well, Gabriel with a much stronger penchant for being an ass. And Odin? He reminded Sam of Lucifer for some reason. Or possibly Bobby when he was in protective-dad mode and not happy with them. It was Frigga who somewhat reminded him of either Jade or Ellen. Mostly Jade.
Jor was quite firmly hiding behind Gabriel.
"So, you somehow ended up on Asgard and claim to be Loki," said Odin finally. The alternate Loki perked up at that news.
"We were warned from his twin sons that the Bifrost can and would affect travel if we happened to be caught in it. Our group just had the phenomenal bad luck of being the closest," said Sam.
"When you say group..." started Loki.
"There were three groups. Ours was the one in front. The one in the middle we can only assume landed where we initially planned to go and right now we believe the last one landed somewhere either ahead or behind the timeline we chose," said Sam.
"Time travel is impossible," said Loki.
"For your technology maybe, but we weren't planning to travel through time just yet," said Sam shrugging.
Angels had the ability to go through time. He had accepted this as fact years ago.
"There is still the matter of the fact you claim to be Loki," said Odin.
"I never said I was the Loki from this side of the universe. If humanity has accepted that the multiverse theory is possible, if highly unlikely, then why hasn't Asgard?" countered Gabriel smugly.
"That reminds me. Lo' was it your real ability that was messed up or was it all of it?"
"Haven't tried my Trickster magic yet," mused Gabriel. With a snap of his fingers, Thor's hair turned a eye-gouging shade of bright pink. Loki looked ready to crack up. "Okay, so it's my original power that's messed up. Trickster magic seems to be working fine."
Judging by the local Loki's expression, he absolutely wanted to learn how to do that.
"Until we learn exactly how you ended up here and what your intentions are, you are not to leave the palace unescorted," said Odin finally.
"We already said how we ended up here. Loki's ability to travel between worlds somehow got mixed with the bifrost. Despite the fact his twin sons warned him twice about that problem before we left. Was your Odin this unreasonable?" asked Sam.
"No. My Odin was much, much worse," deadpanned Gabriel with a tone that said everything about how he felt about that.
Jor winced.
"I'll watch them," offered Loki immediately. They were the most entertainment he had in centuries now.
"SON OF A BITCH! That hurts!" shouted Dean.
Castiel grimaced at the sound of Dean's loud voice. He knew his mate was angry at the rough landing, but it wasn't helping his migraine.
"Could you keep it down?" asked Sleipnir.
"Where are we?"
"You're currently in the middle of a race, and if you three don't get out of the way you'll get run over," said a voice blandly.
"Sis!" said Sleipnir.
Jade looked amused and helped the three off the track before the cars came back around and hit them. She then handed over some migraine potions.
"What the hell happened anyway?" asked Dean.
"Long story short, the Asgardians were using the bifrost and blindsided us. Gabriel and the others landed in Asgard, while our group landed right at the point Tony got rescued from the desert. For some reason you lot got thrown a year too far and a few countries off," said Jade blandly.
"I'm not drunk enough for you to explain the complicated crap. Make with the simple explanations," said Dean.
"Gabriel foolishly ignored the warnings the twins gave us, and therefor didn't think to check before we entered the area. The Asgardians somehow managed to snag Gabriel's group, we were sent to the desert, and you three landed a year ahead of us," explained Jade.
"And the migraine we're currently sporting?" asked Dean.
"Backlash. It will take Cas a week to return his Grace back to normal, and until then we're staying with Tony. Apparently he loves the fact I can talk rings around his annoying Board of Directors and his assistant loves the fact he can't seduce me," said Jade blandly.
Dean snorted. The only one who could outdo Jade when it came to tricking people into doing stupid shit was Gabriel or Lucifer. Sam and Crowley were close seconds.
Only an idiot tried to outperform a professional actress.
And that is all we'll see of Dean, Castiel and Sleipnir until the timeline catches up to the other two groups. Until that point it will mostly be Gabriel, Lucifer, Jade, Loki, Fenrir and Jormungandr. Let the chaos begin!
Also, the cover art is Raziel in full angel mode. Just to let you all know, since I'm sure most of you were curious what she looked like.