Valentines Day
When Brennnan did finally manage to get himself out of bed in the morning (actually it was almost noon), he headed straight to the kitchen to make a pot of the blackest, strongest coffee he could conjure up. It didn't surprise him to see the door to Shalimar's room shut tight, with her still fast asleep inside, no doubt. She had partied a lot harder than he had at the Red Club last night.
The thought reached him again that it really wasn't like her to take things quite so far as she had last night. But everyone had to go a little overboard once in a while, right? Shal did like to have a good time, but he couldn't ever remember having to carry her and help her to bed – as he recalled, the last time they went out it was she who had been helping him get safely to bed at the end of the night.
What it was about her that made him feel like something was off was hard to pinpoint. It was just a feeling. Truthfully, it was probably nothing. He didn't need to worry about her. His head was hurting too badly at the moment to let him to worry overmuch anyway.
She'd wanted him to stay last night, and he'd been trying not to think about it. Why hadn't he stayed? Because he'd wanted to kiss her? It seemed she'd been asking him to do just that the entire night. So why hadn't he? It hadn't sounded like teasing, or felt like it with her arms tight around his neck, when she'd asked him to stay, and she'd felt so good in his arms... They had both also had a lot to drink. He had been trying to do the right thing. Something about her always brought that out in him. Should he have let it get in the way of being close to her, maybe even having a little fun? If it wasn't so hard for him to tell where he stood with her sometimes, he might have had an answer. He thought he knew, but there were times when he wasn't sure at all. Like last night at the club. Like last night in her room. Like the time he'd almost kissed her before.
Thinking about it was only making his head pound harder. He downed another cup of coffee and tried to forget about it. They were friends and he cared about her. End of story.
When he came back from the kitchen, finding Shalimar up and around caught him by surprise.
"Hey, Shal," he called to her.
She winced, squinting across the room at him. "Not so loud," she groaned.
He walked over to her, giving her a sympathetic smile. "Are you okay?" he asked in a softer voice.
"Aside from the five-alarm hangover? Peachy." There was more than a little sarcasm in her voice.
He frowned. "Is something wrong?"
"I don't really want to talk about it, Brennan."
Slap.
She saw his reaction, and felt badly for the way that had sounded – he could see it.
"Thanks...for taking care of me last night," she said.
"Sure."
One last small smile and she was gone, walking away from him and into her room, closing the door behind her.
Something was definitely bothering her.
He didn't see Shalimar for most of the day after that. When she did finally come out of hiding, it was to take up a position in one of the common room's chairs to brood in silence. Brennan didn't know what to do – it really bothered him when she was upset.
Was it something about last night? Surely that couldn't be it... Now that the fear had entered his mind, he couldn't shake it.
He didn't say anything to her at first, just sat down in the chair across from hers. She didn't look at him. In fact, she ignored him.
"Hey."
"Hey," she said back.
He waited, to see if she would say anything more. She didn't.
"Hey," he said again, trumping her I-don't-want-to-talk response.
She sighed, but not in a way that suggested she was getting angry with him. "I don't feel much like talking, Brennan."
He wasn't going to give up that easily.
"Did your hot date call and cancel?" he asked.
She looked at him then, and stared. "What?"
"Well, it is Valentines Day." He grinned. "I have a hard time believing that you didn't have a date lined up."
She wasn't smiling back.
"Let's just say I don't like Valentines Day very much," she told him sourly.
"C'mon. You're just saying that because you're not gonna have anyone to spend it with," he teased.
He'd never noticed her being upset on Valentines Day before. Of course, he'd always been occupied with activities of his own before. Maybe if he'd been around, he would have noticed.
"If it makes you feel better," he said, trying to sound comforting, "I don't have a date either."
"It's not that," she said. "Just...bad memories."
Silence stretched. He wasn't sure what he should say next, or if he should ask what those bad memories were. Shalimar kept on brooding, and he stayed put, unsure of what to do. It surprised him when she spoke up on her own.
"Zack ditched me on Valentines Day."
"Zack Lockhart?"
"Yeah. It was Valentines Day when the police raided our apartment and found the stuff Zack had stolen in my freezer. I got arrested, and by then Zack was long gone. I spent what was supposed to be a romantic evening for two alone in a cold jail cell with a broken heart."
There it was, that little jut to her lower lip that she always got whenever she was hurting... His heart went out to her. Zack really was a bastard if he could let someone like Shalimar take the fall like that, then show up only to screw her all over again. He would never hurt her like that. He had known from minute one what Zack was all about, and that he was no good for her.
"So that's why you were so pissed when he showed up again."
She just nodded.
"Don't let him keep ruining this day for you, Shal."
She sighed. "I'm over the Zack thing. It's just...ever since then, Valentines Day had been one bad experience after another."
"I'm sorry," he said softly.
A small, rueful smile touched her lips. "It's not your fault, Brennan. It's just not a good day for me, that's all."
He thought of something then that might make her feel better. Jesse was gone on a hot date of his own, and Lexa was off seeing some guy named Marco – it was just he and Shal alone, unless they had to call their teammates back for some kind of emergency. No one was around to hear him say it...
Just say it...
"I'll be your Valentine."
She smiled, a genuine, warm one this time. When she looked at him, she had that familiar twinkle back in her eyes.
"That's sweet," she said warmly. She leaned forward in her chair, reaching out to pat his knee. "If I was looking for a Valentine."
She stood.
"Think about it," he said before she could walk away.
She just smiled.
It was probably for the best that she retreated back into her room after that. Otherwise she might have caught on to what he was planning. It was okay, really – she tended toward solitude when things bothered her. He didn't think it was because she didn't want his company. It was enough for her to know that he was nearby, if she wanted him.
He had to run out for a bit to get what he needed, but he didn't want to leave without telling her. Walking up to the door to her room, he knocked softly. He could hear her moving around inside. She opened the door a minute later, just a crack, and peered out at him.
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm going out for a bit, for some fresh air, and maybe make a food run," he told her. "I shouldn't be gone too long. Unless you want to come with?"
She shook her head. "No, that's okay. I'm going to be laying down for a bit." A little half smile. "Thanks anyway."
"Sure."
He tried not to look relieved. It was the answer that he had expected, and for a moment he hadn't been so sure that he was going to get it. "I'll be back."
"Okay."
A last little smile and she closed the door. He'd seen it in her face, that she didn't really want to be alone here. But what he had to do wouldn't take long and it was going to make her feel a whole lot better.