Crowley was drawn deep within his own mind. It was dark and cold. His surroundings were familiar, almost nostalgic. A rainy road in Scotland. He remembered taking the road many times as a boy. Every stone and speck of dirt was engraved into his mind. For what felt like weeks, he had been walking this road. It never ended.

As he walked, he would hear voices. Unpleasant ones. Past lovers and associates, cursing his name. Souls he'd damned, pleading for him to undo the deal. Those he'd tortured and murdered, screaming in agony. The more they called, the harder it got to walk.

There was one voice that rang louder than the rest. A voice he'd never thought he'd hear again.

"Gets harder ta trudge on with all this weight on yeh. Eh, Father?"

Crowley looked over. As usual, "his son" was right beside him, glaring at him. He'd been here since Crowley fell into this state.

"Yer sins sure did pile up. Yeh we're a horrid father, an' a despicable demon…"

"The latter goes without saying, doesn't it, Gavin? Glad to see you've remained a idiotic waste of my-"

"Yeh beat me! Ah was just a wee lad! Ah didn't have no one ta protect me!"

"Well, wasn't my fault your mother wasn't around."

"Mum was dead!"

"A tragedy and a blessing. You didn't know her like I did. Have you honestly run out of my shortcomings to berate me with?"

"Gavin" was silent a moment. "Yer avoiding tha issue."

"What issue?" Crowley sniped back.

"Tha one at tha crossroads…"

Sure enough, in the distance, there was a crossroads. Crowley remembered it, too. He'd sold his soul there, after all.

"Yeh know yeh almost died." "Gavin" continued. "Yeh know yeh have the choice ta die. Yer just afraid ta make it."

"Why the hell would I…?"

"Yer afraid ah what's waitin' for yeh on either side…"

Crowley shook his head. He knew there was a reason he was holding on. He thought back to his conversation with Cas, weeks ago.

"What could humanity possibly offer me?" He'd asked.

"Crowley…" A voice said.

He turned his head, he swore he saw a golden light next to him. He kept onward, the crossroads getting closer.

"Crowley, please. If you can hear me… Come back…"

Crowley saw the light again. It took a form. A humanoid form.

He kept onward.

"I know it's hard. Facing everything. You've made mistakes. So have I. Mistakes we can't erase. But, I could help you…"

The light started to grow more human. It looked like…

"Just… Wake up." Sam said, fully forming from the light. "Please. There are so many things I was going to tell you. That I wanted to look into…"

Crowley stopped, mere feet from the crossroads. "Sam…"

"The Hunter?" "Gavin" said, incredulous. "He's the reason you're clinging to life?" He laughed. "You're not even sure if he returns your feelings."

Crowley sighed. That was true.

"How could he love you? All those terrible things you've done? You will always be The King of Hell. The one who screws over everyone…" "Gavin" shifted into Meg. "Killed everyone who got in your way…" "Meg" shifted into Sarah Blake. "And hurt those they cared for to hurt them." "Sarah" returned to "Gavin". "Honestly, you're meant to be damned."

Crowley sighed. The voices got louder. A sign appeared at the crossroads. One of the signs read: "End".

It sounded rather pleasant.

Crowley looked over to "Sam". "Sam" looked at him, with those puppy-like sad eyes. He could tell he was disappointed. And it stung. Crowley couldn't believe he'd ever feel this for Sam. He didn't want to hurt Sam anymore.

It remembered how he wanted to be worthy of Sam. It was why he'd taken the blood in the first place.

"Well, I can't do that dead, now can I?"

The other sign lit up. It faded, only bright letters remaining.

"New Beginning".

Crowley looked at his options. "Gavin" continued to harass him. "Sam" still said nothing. Crowley stepped forward. He felt something as stepped forward. He started remembering things.

Sam's visits to the dungeon, including the "not date". Saving Sam's life. Kissing him. Twice…

The look on Sam's face as he started succumbing to the blood.

He looked at "Sam". "Not the most pleasant note to leave on, is it?"

"Sam" shook his head.

Crowley rolled his eyes, sighing at how ridiculous this was. "You're as bad as this one when it comes to guilt trips…" He said, pointing at "Gavin".

He headed for "New Beginning".

"I was never one for dying anyway."

~0~

Crowley slowly opened his eyes, everything was white.

He could hear Dean shouting at his brother. Gabriel's voice rang out as well.

Crowley blinked a couple times. The white infirmary came into focus.

"…Some space, Dean…" He caught Gabriel say. There was a snap.

Crowley looked to his left. Gabriel and Dean were nowhere to be seen. There was only Sam. His hair was disheveled, like he'd been sleeping not that long ago. He was smiling down at him, almost relieved. Crowley could almost swear he saw tears in his eyes.

"Hello, Moose…" Crowley said, still a bit weak.

"Hey, Crowley…" Sam replied.

Crowley glanced at his bedside. "What? No flowers?"

Sam chuckled. "Haven't had the time…" Sam blinked, his smile slowly melting away. "Crowley, I have to tell you: you're not…"

Crowley felt his eyelids grow heavy. His head, a bit clouded, couldn't understand why.

"Moose, could you tell me later? I'm still a bit… tired…"

Sam nodded. "Sure. Sure…"

Crowley looked over at the bed next to his. It was unmade.

He closed his eyes. "Do me a favor. Sleep in your own bed tonight…"

And with that, he drifted off to sleep.

~0~

Happy Halloween. Have a new chapter. Carry on my Wayward Companions. -CH