When Konan heard the Uchiha's question, she briefly wondered if someone had slipped a drug into her food and that she was now imagining things. Or maybe she was under a Gen Jutsu? Madara liked to pull pranks on the Akatsuki members and then pretend it was someone else's doing. Yes, it had to be. A horrible, horrible Gen Jutsu to get on her nerves.

She could tell the illusion of Madara was getting impatient by the way he started shifting his weight from one side to another and sighing annoyed a couple of times.

The woman opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again, reconsidering the effects her words could have. If this was a Gen Jutsu, it would be a total waste of time and not to mention ridiculous if she fell for it and told the mirage everything she knew, but there remained the possibility that this was in fact real and Madara was honestly asking her these things, so it would be better if she really did answer. The Uchiha could hold a grudge for decades and in regards of her and Pain's upcoming mission to capture the Kyuubi, it'd be better to stay on his good side.

Ah, to hell with it. Besides, Konan enjoyed reminiscing about the time when it was just her and Yahiko and Nagato and when she acted as their mother.

Suppressing the urge to giggle at the absurdity, because Madara truly outdid himself this time, she willingly shared her information about how to care for a child of the age from about ten to sixteen.

After the incredibly eerie, one-sided conversation, she strolled down the corridor to Pain's room, quietly chuckling to herself. "Oh Nagato, I have something to tell you...You won't believe me!"

Unbeknownst to the blue-haired woman, Madara stayed behind and nodded, satisfied with what he'd heard. A pity that she had been the last person he came across because this way he had asked all remaining Akatsuki members before getting the information he needed. Suigetsu, Zetsu and Nagato were completely useless in this matter because they'd been too young or had too inharmonic relationships with their parents to provide anything useful. Juugo too knew nothing about being a parent, but at least could give him some tips and while Karin revealed that out of all members she was the only one out of a perfectly normal family without any hidden tragedies or anything, she only knew the perspective of a child and thus her knowledge was rather scarce and overlapped with what her male comrade had said.

At least Konan proved to be reliable and suddenly, he was happier than ever to have her in the organization.

And now the ancestor of the Uchiha sat down at a table, took a sheet of a paper and a pen and wrote a list because he is a neat person and likes to have things organized. So he made a list of all things he would need.

First – kitchen utensils. Because the kitchen of the current hide-out consisted of a fridge, a sink and a cupboard, which was rather sad. And Karin said she loved it when her mother cooked something for her.

Second – cook books. Madara never bothered to learn how to cook and he would NOT ask anyone for help ever again because his ego and Uchiha-pride were already bruised enough.

Third – parenting books. He'd make sure to hide them very damn well.

Fourth – some things out of the Uchiha compound that Sasuke yet had to specify. This one was a little difficult since it meant that Pain or Konan would have to get those things while they're in Konoha.

Fifth - the Kyuubi.

Madara took another look at what he'd written down to check if everything was on it, transferred the first three things onto a separate note and a Henge no Jutsu and three minutes later, he practically smacked the piece of paper into Kisame's face which was still a little pale from their last encounter.

" Kisame, purchase these things as soon as possible. I do not accept failure."

The man grumbled a little to himself, then shoved the note into the sleeve of his cloak and disappeared again with a strained "Of course, Pain."

Oh-ho, Madara's plan actually worked. Kisame hadn't even looked at the list! If he had, then he might have noticed it wasn't Pain he was running errands for. Sometimes the Uchiha seriously wondered if his subordinates only acted incompetent when he was around.

Nah, time to see after Sasuke. Last time he saw him, the crying had stopped completely and the boy told his mother that he was especially fond of Onigiri and tomatoes. Madara was looking forward to getting to know (not that he would say this out loud) his daughter (and not to mention spoil to no end!) and once again resisted the urge to skip.

"Don't tell me... you were stuck in that Gen Jutsu, too?"

Suigetsu's face scrunched up in a mixture of shock, fear and disgust. Juugo, that weird guy with all those piercings and that blue-haired chick and even Kisame had confessed that indeed, they all had been struck by the same jutsu they wished they never experienced. At least, the white-haired male thought so because never in his life had someone asked him a weirder and more disturbing question.

They were huddled up in the conference room as he had dubbed it, careful to watch out for Madara's chakra and ready to run as soon as they felt it.

"What are you talking about" questioned Karin as she stepped into the room and Suigetsu cursed her for her ability to mask her chakra completely. He didn't feel like including the redhead into the discussion and he relished in the knowledge that it would piss her off immensely if all others knew something she didn't. Yet Konan (the traitor) kindly informed the new arriver and the red-haired bitch had the nerve to smirk triumphantly at him!

"Uhm...Sorry to tell you but..." Karin trailed off when she noticed the rather intense stares she was getting and quickly cleared her throat, readjusted her glasses and continued matter-of-factly "...that wasn't a Gen Jutsu."

"How could you tell?" At this, Karin regained her cocky smirk and explained "Well, I couldn't sense any disturbance in my chakra, meaning that what I saw and heard was real."

It was quiet for a while as the words sank in. For Suigetsu who didn't know Madara well it wasn't too much of a shock, Kisame, Pain and Konan were another matter entirely, though. Ah, they probably felt like he had done when they'd been at the coast and Sasuke started to cry and sob all of a sudden. Crying and sobbing. Like a girl would.

The expression on Konan's face turned into a thoughtful one and she wondered out loud "Why does Madara want to know about—about—parenthood, anyway?" "How should I know?" replied Suigetsu and started throwing small paper balls at Karin, his aim horribly off and hitting Juugo instead.

"We could spy on him—" began the girl, yet was cut off by Kisame who thought that was a great idea. A little helpless, Karin spluttered "but—that won't be easy and what if we get caught?" Nobody listened to her objections. Apparently all older members were very keen on finding something to black-mail or at least annoy Madara with, as if they wanted to avenge something. From what Suigetsu knew, Madara liked to stalk his comrades and acted like a freaky mother hen who at the same time bullied her/his own chicks.

"Hey girl, didn't you say you can mask your chakra?"

Everyone turned their attention to Karin again who gulped and shrunk under the gazes of everyone. Suigetsu loved the way she struggled and realized that her attempts were futile.

"I hate you. All of you."

"Hey, Pain. Why did you order me to buy this stuff?"

"Hoshigaki, I didn't order you to do anything."

"..."

"...what did he tell you to buy?"

"Wait, I got a list...here. "

"...I'm starting to doubt the sanity of Madara."

What. Have. I. Done. Take two.

I can't believe I finished this so fast...I don't know. I just had SO MUCH FREAKIN' INSPIRATION. Oh, you wouldn't believe it. This chapter is kind of a filler, which sadly seems to have affected the quality T_T I ask you for forgivness. The next chapter(s) should be complete soon, but school starts for me next week and my teachers don't like us students...

Oh, and thanks for the favorites, the alerts and the reviews :3 Very much.

Again, please leave a review :)