Thank you for all of your reviews. It was very interesting to see what you thought of the finale, some of you liked it, others not so much (I'm one of the latter)

This chapter is dedicated to my first reviewer Moon Fox as she seemed to share my opinion on most aspects of the ending. Pus as my first reviewer she earned the right to a dedication so here you go :D

I wish I owned Merlin

Enjoy ^.^

'So … let me get this straight' Arthur said as he leaned forwards on his horse 'You exchanged your magic for my life?' Merlin nodded, tight lipped, he hadn't seen fit to explain the whole I also gave up my soul and I'm dying part yet. Especially as even one sentence seemed difficult for the clot-pole to grasp.

'Why?' Merlin jerked his head around to look at Arthur

'What?'

'Why would you do that for me?' Merlin gaped slightly. Not really knowing how to answer

'Why wouldn't I?'

'You've been lying to me for almost ten years Merlin, to protect your magic, and you would give it up just like that? Just for me?' Merlin closed his eyes, not wanting to have this conversation. He didn't want to be reminded of his loss, and he could feel his strength begin to wane. It was physically painful to be separated from his magic, like he had been turned inside out. But he gritted his teeth and answered

'You were dying, I had to do something and it was the only way' They fell silent for a time

'Thank you' Merlin glanced at his king and away, the pain too raw to accept his thanks. Arthur seemed to notice this.

'I just thanked you and you look like you're about to cry, you're such a girl Merlin' That got a grin, a small one, but it was a grin nonetheless.

'What is wrong with you?' Arthur asked a moment later 'I'm alive, you're alive, everyone's alive and well, you should be happy'

'Why do you care whether I'm happy or not? I'm just a sorcerer remember?' Arthur blinked, and looked at Merlin, really looked. He was pale and miserable and that strange pain was still in his eyes

'You're not a sorcerer any more' he ventured gently, noticing his manservant flinch 'And that's a bad thing because...?'

'Because I feel like my insides are being ripped apart, I feel empty, I've lost everything that made me who I was and I did it to save your sorry life, when all you've ever done is persecute my kind! I need my magic and now it's gone! And it hurts!' Merlin let out a sob then, just the one, before pulling himself upright and settling his face into neutral. Arthur was taken-aback. He always thought of magic as an evil presence, and when it was gone, the sorcerer would feel better. Not this. Merlin looked like he was grieving. He was in pain. He pulled up his horse, noticing the panic in Merlin's eyes

'What are you doing?' Arthur slid from his horse, clutching his side as his ribs jarred

'I need to rest. And so do you. It's nearly sunset, we won't get much further today'

'We can't stop' Merlin didn't move from his horse, he was staring down at Arthur in horror, like he had suggested that he was going to sleep on the edge of a cliff 'We have to keep moving'

'The horses need to rest Merlin and so do I.' Arthur settled himself against a tree trunk and slid down to the ground, wincing. Merlin was looking between him and the treeline 'Why are you so worried? We have all the time in the world to get back to Camelot' Merlin looked at him like he was insane and then let out a defeated sigh and dismounted

'We aren't staying long' he declared, opening one of the food packs and tossing Arthur a handful of nuts

'I'm the king Merlin. I decide when we move on'

'No you don't' his voice was so firm that Arthur dropped of the nuts in surprise

'Excuse me? What is with this desire to run our horses to death to get us back to Camelot' Merlin hesitated

'I need to talk to Gaius'

'What about?' Merlin shook his head and sat on the floor, but he was jumpy and wouldn't sit still. Arthur sighed 'Merlin! I already know that you were a sorcerer, what else aren't you telling me?' Merlin stilled and stared at Arthur, considering him. Then he sighed. He might as well tell him, he'd find out soon enough anyway.

'The bargain I made wasn't just for my magic. I mean, it was but that wasn't all they took'

'What? What are you talking about?'

Merlin stared at the leafy ground

'I am a creature of the Old Religion' he began 'I am no ordinary sorcerer; magic isn't just a part of me, it is me. I am magic. To take my magic is to also take my soul' Arthur blinked and Merlin met his eyes. There was so much pain in his gaze that Arthur couldn't bear to look. But he couldn't look away.

'But...' Arthur began 'You're fine! I mean, you're still you.' Merlin shook his head

'Not for long. Only for the time it takes for you to grow to full strength, then the bargain will be complete and I will cease to be me.'

'What do you mean?' Arthur couldn't comprehend this. He had barely gotten over Merlin being a sorcerer and still a good person, but now he was losing both? Why couldn't he be simple?

'I mean that in a day or so, when you are fully healed, I will lose my emotions and my memories and I will live on as a shell of myself. That is why I need to get back to Camelot. So I can say my goodbyes and ask Gaius to help me.'

'How will he do that?' Merlin shrugged as if it wasn't important but he answered anyway

'Poison. He can make it painless. I don't want to live like that. I don't want to be a burden on you.'

'Merlin' Arthur said it so softly, so full of compassion and feeling that Merlin felt his eyes fill with tears. 'You didn't have to do that' Merlin sniffed

'Of course I did' he said, the sound strangely muffled 'there was no other way and I couldn't lose you'

'I'm sorry' the apology was so unexpected that Merlin's head shot up, their eyes met

'What?'

'I'm sorry that you felt you had to do that for me'

'It was my choice to make, it is not your fault Arthur.' Arthur looked down then. He wasn't worthy to look upon this man, his friend who had sacrificed everything he had for him. Merlin sighed as he looked at his ashamed king.

'Get some rest Arthur. We need to make it back to Camelot as soon as possible'

So what do you think? I think that some bits could have been phrased better and I'm not sure I really got the emotion across but I tried, and this is at least a template of the conversation I wanted them to have

Let me know if you liked it or not :)

Love Tibbins xx