Thanks for all the reviews !
WARNING : LOGIC DOES NOT APPLY IN THIS STORY, SO PLEASE DO NOT MAKE YOUR HEAD HURT BY FIGURING OUT OBVIOUS DETAILS SUCH AS HOW COMPUTERS EXIST IN VAMPIRE MOUNTAIN.
A LOT OF KURDA BASHING IS INCLUDED, SO PLEASE AVERT YOUR EYES IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE THE SADISTICNESS!
(The authoress can be seen sobbing in the background because she is a major Kurda fan but she is literally squashing him to a bloody pulp in this story.)
So continue reading and enjoy !
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Chapter 3.
Late one evening …
Frankenstein : Have you seen Seba ?
VampirePrince : Yeah, he found out about his pet spider being bug juice and got mad at Kurda , so I caught him making a list of painful things he is going to do to him once he finds him. ( shivers at the thought of the list )
Frankenstein : What sort of things ? Maybe I could contribute a few more ideas.
VampirePrince : Are you sure you want me to write this on the net ? Because Seba wants to get full credit for this-
CreepyCrepsley : Yes !
VampirePrince : ( groan ) Mr. Crepsley, this is a private conversation !
CreepyCrepsley : ( snort ) Yes, and Seba was my mentor, so anything that concerns him is also my priority.
Frankenstein : He does have a point, Darren.
VampirePrince : Okay, but don't blame me if word leaks out -
OneEyeHero : Hi ! What's up ?
VampirePrince : ( groan ) Not now Vanez …
Frankenstein : Darren was about to tell us about a list Seba made to torture Kurda for squashing his spider.
VampirePrince : HARKAT !
Frankenstein : Oops…
CreepyCrepsley : And people say I'm a blabbermouth.
OneEyeHero : Nice word Larten; I had no idea your vocabulary comprises of so many words like that.
CreepyCrepsley : ( turning red, all though this cannot be seen online ) Did you just insult me ?
Frankenstein : Anyway, do you know where Kurda is hiding right now ?
VampirePrince : In Gavner's closet, I think.
Frankenstein : Oh, well if he can take the stench of Gavner' s socks, then I guess he really must be desperate to get away from Seba.
VampirePrince : Yup.
ILuvTheBars : Hi people !
VampirePrince : Who are you ?
ILuvTheBars : Arra, of course. Who did you think it was, the bogeyman ?
OneEyeHero : No, I thought you were just another show girl who was interested in looking at Larten's pink underwear .
Frankenstein : You have a pink underwear ! ( looking at Mr. Crepsley at the corner of the room who was turning crimson again and pestering Cyrus to type faster )
Creepy Crepsley : I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT !
Frankenstein : Are you gay ?
ILuvTheBars : Oh Larten, you should have just told me ( emotionally sobs in the background )
CreepyCrepsley : I AM NOT GAY !
ILuvTheBars has signed off .
OneEyeHero : Oh My God, Larten, you actually chased her off !
CreepyCrepsley : VANEZ BLANE ! I AM GOING TO RIP YOUR TONGUE OUT AND STRANGLE YOU WITH IT !
OneEye Hero : Bring it on plenty, brother !
( The chat room is interrupted by a sound of a computer being smashed over someone's head )
Frankenstein : ( winces ) That ought to hurt.
VampirePrince : Yeah and I complained when Steve hit me with a frying pan once.
( Larten reenters the chat room, looking triumphant )
OneEyeHero : Oh, lookie at all the pweety colours- ( faints )
OneEyeHero has been eradicated from the chat room because he dishonored Rule 8 (a) : Anyone who gets smacked on the head by a computer and blabbers incoherently will be thrown out of the chat room and bear the title : MORON.
CreepyCrepsley : There are actually rules for this thing ?
VampirePrince : Don't look at me, I didn't create this thing. I just use it.
Frankenstein : Back to the list, Darren.
VampirePrince : Oh yeah ! Anyway it goes like this-
SnakePro : Darren, have you seen my snake ?
VampirePrince : Evra ! I was just about to tell Harkat and Mr. Crepsley about Seba's sadistic list !
CreepyCrepsley : ( ignoring Darren's outburst ) Where did you leave her ?
SnakePro : I gave her to Gavner a few days ago because he said he was bored and he promised to return her back.
Frankenstein : I smell trouble.
VampirePrince : But you don't have a nose !
Frankenstein : I meant figuratively speaking, not literally.
VampirePrince : Oh. Yeah. Right. ( sheepish eyes )
CreepyCrepsley : And if I know one thing about Gavner, he always throws unused stuff in the closet.
SnakePro : Am I missing out on something ? Because I really need to feed my snake.
VampirePrince : ( ignoring Evra ) Wait a sec, isn't Kurda taking refuge in Gavner's closet -
( Right on cue, a high pitched scream can be heard followed by a loud gulp and an even louder BURP!)
Frankenstein : ( sigh ) Look on the bright side, at least we feed someone's snake.
SnakePro : ( oblivious to the fact his snake had just swallowed Kurda ) She has eaten then ? Ok, that's good. Contact me if you need any help !
SnakePro has signed off.
Frankenstein : ( blinking unbelievably at the screen due to Evra's departure ) Weirdo.
VampirePrince : What's all that commotion ?
( A loud yell followed by a thumping noise can be heard in the background.)
CreepyCrepsley : Let's go look.
VampirePrince has signed off.
Frankenstein has signed off .
CreepyCrepsley has signed off .
( Seba is apparently trying to get Evra's snake to cough Kurda out by sitting on its belly and continuously screaming, " Spit him out ! I worked hard on getting that sadistic list done and I am not going to let it go to waste !" Amidst all the commotion, Harkat quickly grabbed the list and posted it in the chat room .)
10 Ways to Torture Kurda Smahlt .
1 . Castrate him, roast his testicles and force him to consume it afterwards. Then, clip his nails, grind the clippings in a blender ( borrow Mika's - he always uses it to grind his special coffee beans ) and force him to drink the concoction.
2. Disembowel him and hang his intestines on the Guardians of Blood fake Christmas tree they bought on eBay 2 months ago.
3. Pluck his nose hair while he is being restrained and then proceed to his armpit hair.
4. Put him in the same room with a bunch of rabid fan girls and leave him there for the next two months.
5. Strap him to a chair and force him to watch Barney reruns for the next 48 hours. If he is still sane, switch to Teletubbies.
6. Knock him out, take him to a plastic surgeon and get him fake breasts with a D cup.
7. Force him to make out with Larten in a pink thong and later with Gavner in a G-string if Gavner is available.
8. Dye his hair red, put red colored cutex on his nails, paint him with permanent purple paint and give him red contacts. Convince him he is in another dimension whereby he is a vampaneze before throwing him into the Hall of Princes during a "Let's kill any vampaneze we see" meeting .
9. Shave his head bald and strip him naked before tossing him into a gay bar with a signboard hung around his neck saying, " I am the perfect sex toy you have been looking for all these years". Make sure the bar is heavily padlocked so escape would be futile.
10. Put him in a tutu and make him do a ballet recital with a bunch of 5 year olds on mother's day. Make sure Paris and Mika are present during the show.
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My apologies if it is too sadistic or crappy, but I am in a weird mood right now; everything is a bit out of hand.
PLEASE REVIEW OR I'LL SEND A RABID BUNNY AFTER YOU!