1ST CHAPTER

With Mikey there to guide him through this … demented parody of his beloved city, "new york", he felt less scared and nervous. Mikey even reassured him that it was safe to go by rooftop. Still, he warned Don with a strange ferocity to stay close and be quiet.

As they came upon a vent, steam pouring out of it, mikey knelt down to remove the metal bars covering it. Don took this time to contemplate on what he had just seen. Up on the rooftops, he clearly saw the extent of the damage wrought by the shredder. Thousands of dark aircrafts flew overhead in seemingly endless neat rows and groups. Down below, soldiers clad in black complete with heavy artillery and armor moved about on the streets. Don found it a bit odd as to why they were so heavily armed when there was not even a single civilian or any other life form for that matter other than the foot roaming around. Truly, this city that was once so busy and alive, looked dead and gray. Once familiar spots around the city, like that one corner where this old guy sold Mikey's favorite hotdogs, were now just cement and gravel. All gray and dust. Dead.

'even the skies are gray…' Don whispered to himself as he stared at the sky. Don brought back his attention to his brother who was just about to jump into the steaming hole.

"where are we going mikey?" he asked.

"I'm taking you to master splinter." Mikey replied, eye ridges furrowing even further and eyes taking on an even sharper edge tinged with pain. But all this went unnoticed by Don as a single word rang out in his mind…

'alive!' He couldn't help but grin. "he's still alive! Thank god!" he said aloud.

Mikey looked at him oddly at this and looked like he was about to say something but stopped himself. he let out a single breath and said, "look… we should get going." And with that mikey dropped into the hole.

"hurry up." Mikey's voice echoed up the dark shaft.

"mikey?" don asked uncertainly as he stared after his brother before following him into the dark abyss.

Not knowing how long that dark shaft was or where he was going, falling down that vent felt longer and more taxing than it would have been. it being pitch dark didn't help matters at all either. So as Don reached the ground below, his knees buckled out of surprise more than anything, and promptly toppled over onto his shell. Quickly picking himself up off the ground, he looked about for his brother.

Seeing mikey's shell as he turned left around a corner, he ran fast to catch up to his little brother. "hey mikey! Wait up!"

Mikey looked over his shoulder to see Don running up to him. For a moment there, he felt like time stopped. Seeing his brother, Donny, right there. Young. unscarred. It felt odd. like he was some figment of his imagination. A long forgotten memory that once again sought to haunt him. His brother being there, just seemed so… unreal.

"so… are leo and raph with master splinter?" don asked mikey, but mikey simply turned his back on him and kept on walking. It hurt to see his youngest brother, be so cold and indifferent like this to him. "are they… alright?" he persisted. Even if they WERE alive, he had to know. Were they alright? After all, Don was their medic, and as far as he knew, his brothers don't know a thing about dressing a wound and such. Which may explain why mikey now had a stump for an arm. "and your arm? What happened mikey?" he asked again with more urgency and a hint of hysteria.

"mikey?" Don once again asked as he reached out to grasp his brother's arm. Still feeling like he was in a dream, that single touch brought Mikey back down to reality like a slap in the face.

Mikey flinched out of don's grasp as though it burned his skin. "don't touch me… donny." He said, spitting out don's name like it had an unpleasant taste to it.

"i… mikey…?" don asked quietly as mikey turned his back to him. With sad eyes, he looked on at his brother's retreating figure. As much as it hurt to see his brother this way, he can somewhat understand why he was feeling this way. From what mikey said earlier, it seems that he thinks he'd been missing for over 30 years. That's a very long time. 'I don't get any of this…the only possibilities I can think of is that, I was sent into a different dimension or a different timezone. Quite possible actually, considering that Drako used the Daimyo's septer.' Don wrinkled his nose at that. why do they always get mixed up with these kinds of messes?

'whatever the case, he's still my brother. And right now, I'm really worried about him.' Don thought as he continued looking on. 'and the rest of my family as well… where are they…?' he thought as his brow furrowed. And with that Don soon followed Mikey through the long dark tunnels in silence.

With his peripheral vision, Mikey stole small glances at his brother. He felt bad saying what he said earlier, but that doesn't mean that he didn't mean it. After all, meeting your brother who for 30 years you've thought was dead may just be a bit … TOO awkward. But still, after all this time thinking that, here he is. Back from wherever the heck he went. And here HE was, being mean and ignoring him. What a great brother he was. Then again, Don hadn't been a great brother himself has he. 'it would've been better if he didn't come back.' Mikey thought, instantly regretting actually thinking such a thing.

Mikey clenched his jaw and balled up his fists as he turned around to face his brother, fully intending to scream his guts out at Don. But stopped as he saw his brother's face full of concern and love that only a brother could exude. Only his Don, his brother could exude. Don… where did you go…

"mike… what happened bro?" don once again asked.

Why did you go, don?

"are you alright?"

Why.

Why?

"Mikey?"

FLASHBACK

With wide eyes, mikey stared into the blazing TV screen. Simply staring, not really seeing. Curled up on that couch, it was so easy to just slip out of this very harsh and cruel reality. In the darkness, the screen seemed to grow as Mikey continued to stare into it. It's been five years since Don had disappeared. They've searched the whole city for their brother, but to no avail. He just wasn't there. No trace of his brother at all. Not even their enemies knew about his whereabouts.

It was so silent in that lair. Mikey didn't like it. He fidgeted on the couch and shifted into a different position, the springs underneath groaning in protest. He missed the sounds of life in the lair back then. The soft tinkling of porcelain as Master Splinter sets down a set of five cups of tea, Raph punching away at his punching bag muttering obscene words at the inanimate object, the soft whistling of Leo's swords as he slashes down an invisible enemy, Mikey's own exuberant yells as he completes yet another level on his gameguy, and Don…. He won't even go there. It was too painful.

He sighed as he remembered 'the good old days'. No matter how hard he tried to keep them together, his family was drifting apart.

Raph was rarely home now, actually, neither was leo. It's more of like a cat and mouse chase really. Raph goes topside to bash in some punk's skulls and Leo goes after him to bring him back home safe and sound, through whatever means necessary. This usually meant Leo beating the shell out of his vigilante brother.

But it's not like Leo was any better than his younger brother. He was just as restless. One could assess that much, with the unhealthy amount of practice he puts himself through in a day. His big brother complex just went from bad to worse as he frets over every mistake made and every injury acquired. The training sessions and practices have become even more intense and with the new rules he set up, he practically banned them from leaving the lair, what more going topside. Not that Mikey blames him.

In the five years that Don was gone, Shredder's forces have grown stronger and stronger. Disabled by their loss, the turtles haven't been successful as of late with thwarting any of the shredder's plans. They never realized just how much they depended on Don to get through a mission. They were a team, and they've been a team all they're lives, a family. They acted as one body, and every one of them had a function in that body. Losing one part makes the whole vulnerable and cripples that perfect team that they were. It just wasn't right.

If Don was the brain, then Raphwould definitely be the (), Leo the soul, and Mikey, the heart.

Mikey frowned at his train of thought. 'the heart huh?'

'a broken heart maybe…' he thought to himself as he closed his eyes. It was getting tiresome, he had to admit. Day in, day out, his brothers quarreled. He just couldn't take it anymore. At least when don was there, he had support to keep the peace between the brothers, and usually he could take it easy and let don handle the peace keeping thing. But that wasn't the case anymore. Never again. Finding Don now is all just wishful thinking. The only people who haven't given up yet are probably Casey and Master Splinter. But even then, all their fruitless searches already seem to be taking a toll on their resolve.

Speaking of which, Master Splinter wasn't getting any younger either. they're father was old now, and as hard as it is to admit, he knew he didn't have all that much time left in this world. Mikey frowned at that thought. He wondered how that loss, on top of Donny's would affect his family. Things were already bad as it is.

Mikey suddenly heard a ringing in his ear. 'Silence can do that to you sometimes', he thought with a shrug. As the ringing went on and on, mikey raised his head and looked about. 'wait… that's not just me.'

It was the lair's intruder alert.

Mikey jumped off the couch and winced as it made a loud groan. 'great… just gave off my location.'

Looking about warily in the dim light from the television, 'good thing I put the damn thing on mute.' He thought as he glanced at it cautiously. Mikey crept along the walls silently all the while gripping his nunchuks tightly in his fists. He met eye contact with Master Splinter who had somehow slipped out of his room and gave a nod.

as he inched along the wall, he could hear a grunting sound and a strangled sob from the big dark lump that stumbled in through the lair's entrance.

"mi-mikey…" the dark figure gasped out as he collapsed under the weight of two other figures leaning onto him.

"Leo?!" Mikey screamed out as he recognized the stranger's voice. Splinter quickly turned on the lights with a flick of his tail and joined his son by Leonardo's side.

"Oh my god… Leo, Raph, Casey!" Mikey exclaimed as he took in the sight before him. Blood was everywhere, and right in the middle of it all were his brothers and Casey.

Leo swayed on his spot and knees giving away, knelt on the floor, arms limp around Casey and Raph. He drew in a ragged breath before everything went black.

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"leo…" Raph whispered roughly as Leo fell onto the floor unconscious, his arms around Raph and casey dragging him down with him. With a light splash, he slid forward onto the puddle of blood pooling around their bodies. There was so much blood.

Casey's blood.

Raph tiredly shrugged off Leo's arm and reached out for his friend. "c-casey…" he whispered, his voice breaking. A large lump started to form in his throat as he desperately tried to crawl over to Casey's side. His whole body ached with the effort, but he just couldn't reach him. With a shaky hand, he tried to reach out to touch that dark blood matted hair over his unconscious brother's back. "no…" he cried out painfully, tears obscuring his vision.

A warm furry hand had grasped his shaking hand and pulled him into his lap. In the comfort of his father's embrace, tears freely poured from his eyes and broke down in sobs. Something he hadn't done since he can't even remember when.

"Master Splinter! He's dead… he's dead! Casey's dead!" Raph cried out brokenly. Splinter simply held his son closer, as he himself felt hot tears roll down his furry cheeks.

Raph wept loudly, he and Casey were led right into a trap as they followed this particularly suspicious evasive pack of purple dragons that night. The next thing they knew, foot ninja had them surrounded with the shredder leading them. Tired out by the chase, it didn't take long for the foot to bring the turtle and human down. In the dim light of the waxing moon, he could see the shredder pick casey up off the ground.

Raph wanted to bite off the damn man's head off but met resistance as he struggled against several foot ninja holding him down. He growled at his own weakness but he smirked smugly at the ninja surrounding him, but was quickly wiped off his face as the shredder struck casey suddenly through the chest with his gauntlet. Blood had splattered raph's face but he just couldn't find the strength to wipe it off. what more, move, as the shredder made a grab for raphael's neck.

At that point in time, Leo had come in like a flash of lightning, impaling their foe's arm upon his katana. But Raph barley registered Leo's sudden appearance as he stared blankly at Casey's unmoving body. His heartbeat was so loud in his ears, prevailing over all other sounds. It was so loud, his heart's beating. His heart was beating. Casey's wasn't. and at that, Raph almost felt his heart stop as well. he was dead.

Suddenly a pain filled cry filled the air as Leo fell to his own sword. There, on his side, was a gaping six inch long gash from the blue decked katana in the Shredder's hand. The sight of which rousing Raph out of his trance like state.

Blinding rage filled him and with a loud cry, he threw his sai at the shredder with all his might. It pierced right through the dark armor and skewered the shredder's shoulder throwing him off balance for a second or two. Using this to his advantage, Raph jumped up and slashed at his foe's head, all the while roughly pulling out his sai from the shredder's shoulder. He stabbed him once again on the chest before kicking off his chest landing on his feet with a cat like grace. With a dark glare directed at the turtle, the shredder called his elite guard to him. And with that, they left.

Raph huddled further into his father's lap and shuddered as he remembered Casey. He was dead now. No more nightly vigilante fun. No more trash talking contests. He had lost a friend and a brother that night. No more casey. He closed his eyes, letting sweet slumber take its hold over him.

END FLASHBACK

"what's it to you?! Huh?!" screamed Mikey.

"why would you care you bastard?!" years worth of unshed tears finally sliding down the sides of his face. "how could you just leave us like that?!" he cried.

"how could you…" the force of his sobs sending him down to his knees. Arms encircled his cold body in a strong yet gentle and warm embrace. He sobbed openly now, into that warm body. It's been so long since he had felt such comfort. Too long. He cried for many things. He cried for those who have passed away in their line of duty, he cried for his home now rubble and dirt. And lastly he cried for himself and his family, broken in body and in mind.

"why… why… why did they have to die…" he whispered brokenly into Don's plastron.

Don flinched at what Mikey had just said. Died. Somebody died.

"w-who? Mike… who died?" don asked, voice trembling.

Mike looked up into his eyes and simply asked once again, "why?" but quickly looked away. And added in a soft voice, almost inaudible, "why did you come back…"

Donny's heart broke at the sight of his youngest brother looking so distraught. Even at this age, he just had this air or innocence that not even the shredder could completely destroy. Don almost smiled, 'that's Mikey for you', he thought pulling him even closer into his body.

"I-… mike." Don started with a stutter.

"mike, I'm sorry… the thing is, the truth is… I might not be your Donatello."

Brows furrowed in confusion, mikey looked up into his brother's eyes again.

"it's… a long story. I don't know if this happened in your dimension too, but the daimyo's son and drako had somehow merged into one being." Donatello went on, to his relief he could see a hint of recognition in mikey's eyes.

"so, the last thing I remember is drako swinging the daimyo's septer they had most likely stolen. And considering that WAS the daimyo's septer, well… it's not entirely impossible."

Silence filled the air as don finished his story. As the silence stretched even further, Doatello's grip on michelangelo's shell got tighter and tighter.

"I… I'm sorry mikey…"

"no." mikey said looking away.

Don gulped back down the saliva and bile that was pooling in his mouth. "I-…"

"no… Donny… don't say sorry, I don't care." Mikey butted in burying his head into donny's chest.

"I don't care. You're here donny, you're really here, you came back," mikey rambled on, his voice slightly muffled as he whispered into don's plastron.

"I'll never let you go." He tightened his hold around don's shell.

"never again."

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Right… that was one veeeeeeeeeery long flashback. Well, that's the first of many other flashbacks to come. Fufufu. Actually, this chapter came out longer than I expected. Hmmm.

Sorry, the last part was a bit crappy, I was really sleepy back then and I just didn't care, I just wanted to finish the damn chapter. it was getting too long. Hehe!

So there.

Review please! and no flames please... if you can help it! J

it kinda kills off my very tiny and incompetent muse. hohoho.

Constructive criticism is welcome though!