Come Back to Me
Still own nothing.
So, um, more Angst in this chapter (that capital A is on purpose). My nerves are shot from writing this. Enjoy!
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Avery stood on the stage and looked out at the name cards in the seats in front of him. Bono was to the left. Lady Gaga to the right. Tim McGraw and Faith Hill directly in front of him. It should have made him nervous, but in the past year, the only place that he had really felt at home was on the stage. Yet still he was in awe. And he was grateful that Juliette was seated all the way on the other side of the arena. He wouldn't have to look at her while singing a song he wrote about her so long ago.
He looked over to see his band mates walking up the stairs to join him.
"Hey!" the young woman said with a smile as her boyfriend moved to grab his guitar. "Can you believe we are doing this?"
He nodded, small smirk playing on his lips. "Crazy, huh?"
Zoey looked out over the empty seats and Avery could see the moment that the reality hit her. "Holy crap. All those famous people are going to be staring at us in a few hours."
Gunnar had joined them and they all three stood there taking it all in. "We are not at the Bluebird anymore, folks."
"Nope."
The Bluebird had cleared out after the final performer that night, but the sound of music still pierced the air. The trio was completely gelled together, sounding better than they ever had. It was only in moments like this that Avery felt human. Off stage, he was a mess. He was moving on, but every ounce of his being still missed her. The constant reminders of the woman he loved were all around him. On tabloid magazines, on every entertainment website, gossip columns. The joke inside the industry was who would Juliette Barnes be sleeping with next? Her exploits should have made it easier to be without her, but it only made him wish he had fought just a little bit harder to keep her from making these mistakes. It didn't matter now.
As the song ended, the sound of clapping came from a dark corner of the room that they didn't know had been occupied. "That was awesome, y'all!" Rayna Jaymes walked toward them, huge smile on her face. "If I'd have know that the after-show show was this good, I would have stayed later months ago."
Gunnar, stepped off the stage first and shook the legend's hand first. "What are you still doing here?"
"Well, a friend told me that I needed to hear you guys. My girls are with their dad, so I thought I'd hang out and see what he was talking about."
They all knew she was talking about Deacon. He had been their biggest cheerleader since he walked in on them working through Avery's song at Gunnar's place.
"Sit down with me." They did as they were asked. "So. In Scarlett, I have a girl singer on my label. I just signed Deacon. Now all I need is a band. You guys are the best band I've heard in a long time. Those harmonies ... amazing. What would you think about signing a deal with Highway 65?"
"Morning, guys!" Rayna's cheerful voice grabbed their attention as she walked up to them from backstage, Glenn following closely behind her. "Are you totally freaked out by the view?" she asked, pointing out to the empty room.
"Oh, yeah!" Zoey responded enthusiastically.
The show's director walked up, filling them in on the details, telling them that they'd get started in a few minutes. Zoey and Gunnar moved over to their mics and testing out their ear monitors.
Avery looked over to see Rayna standing in place, staring at him silently.
"What?"
Rayna moved close enough to talk to him without the others hearing. "You okay? After last night?"
He knew that she could tell how shaken up he had been. Despite their rocky relationship, Rayna and Juliette had come to an understanding before Juliette had left. The older woman worried about both of them, and he appreciated it. "I'm good."
"Promise?"
He shot her a look that clearly said, 'back off, I'm fine.' She smiled and raised her hands up in surrender. As she joined Glenn in the front row, Avery knew she was worried about him, but he really was fine. He didn't have a choice. He had lay in bed throughout the sleepless night and come to terms that his goodbye to Juliette in the elevator was more than likely pretty final. He knew that eventually he'd have to move on, but he wouldn't push it, and when the time came, he wouldn't compare other women to that girl that disappeared into the LA night.
It was the second radio call-in they had done that morning. Some small market station in Washington State. The call started out normally enough, talking about the single and working with the legendary Ms. Jaymes, and how they got there start singing together. None of them saw it coming before it happened.
"So Gunnar, you've had quite a bit of luck with song writing," the overly stylized voice of the DJ said, through the speakers. "You hit number one with 'Ball and Chain' a few months back and now 'What if I Was Willing' by Will Lexington is sitting at Number 3 and looks like it will top next week's charts. That's got to feel good!"
Gunnar nodded, then realized that nodding didn't help on the radio. "Yeah, it's exciting. Will's a good buddy of mine, so I'm really happy that he's having this kind of success. It's really cool to be a part of it."
"And Avery, you've got a few big time credits to you're name too." Everyone in the room stilled, eyes wide and glued to the man in question. They knew what was coming, and so did he. And there was no way to stop it. "You produced Deacon Clayborne's 'Live at the Bluebird' record which is killer. And Juliette Barnes' had a hit with a song you co-wrote called 'Dreams', and we understand that you also co-wrote the song she sang at her Opry induction."
There was a pause, and it was obvious to all who could hear that the DJ was fishing for a story. Before the pause got too awkward, Avery responded. "I ... did."
"Kind of controversial. You two must have been close. Have you been keeping an eye on her as she tries her hand at the pop world over in LA? Do you talk to her at all? Because she's been all over TMZ in the past few months. With the DUI coming last week, how do you feel about all of that?"
Unsure about how to respond, he looked up to Rayna, who looked both furious and apologetic at the same time. There was no way to help him at this moment of live radio. He took a breath and answered as diplomatically as he could. "I .. um ... you know, I think she's living life her way. I hope she is taking care of herself."
"So you haven't spoken to her lately?" The DJ was relentlessly pursuing the line of question. Avery refused to give in.
"No." he fought to keep the irritation out of his voice.
"And we're getting the signal that we are out of time, so thanks guys for calling in. The name of the single is "Ain't Leaving Without Your Love" and it's racing up the charts. You guys are going to have a number one of your own real soon."
As soon as the call ended, Avery pushed his chair out and stalked out of the room. Rayna, Bucky and Glenn were immediately in crisis management mode. "Bucky, call ahead to the next two stations and tell them that they are only going to have Zoey and Gunnar for the interview. Then call the stations after that and let them know that if they bring up anything about Juliette Barnes, we will stop the interview right then and there and hang up."
"What do I tell the first two about him," her manager and business partner asked.
"I don't know," she said, exasperation dripping from her words. "He's running late or something. Make it up."
Bucky nodded and was immediately on his phone.
Rayna turned to the band's manager. "Glenn, you stay here with these two and go over diffusion tactics. I'll be back in a few minutes."
Not exactly sure where he had gone, she finally found him sitting in a chair overlooking her pool. She walked up and sat down on a table in front of the chair. They sat there in silence for a minute. "Hey."
He pulled his eyes from the pool and looked her in the eyes. She saw nothing but pain and frustration there. "How did we not know that was going to happen?"
"It was my job as your label head to protect you, and I didn't," the redhead shrugged. "I just assumed that since they have barely spoken her name on the air in months, that the radio stations wouldn't even go there. I was wrong. I am sorry."
Shaking his head, he stood and walked over to the pool and stared at his reflection on the water. "No. It's not your fault. I should have expected it too. You can't protect us from everything."
"I can try." Rayna ran her fingers through her hair, watching him closely. "We are making sure those questions don't come up, but you don't have to do anymore interviews if you don't want to."
"I'll be fine," he said, glancing back in her direction so that she could see the commitment to the project in his eyes.
She moved to join him next to the pool. "You still miss her don't you."
"I know I shouldn't," he confirmed, as a sigh escaped from his lips. "Not with all the problems she's having right now. But I still want to fix her. Help her. Make her see that she is so much better than what she's become. And I can't. Or I want to be able to move on. To forget her. But I can't do that either."
"I know what that feels like," Rayna said, eyes growing distant and seeming to look back in time. "The wanting to fix someone, knowing that you can only do so much. Feeling helpless. It's not easy. But you have to. No matter how much it hurts. Sometimes it comes back around. But it may not. That's part of the danger of giving your heart away completely.
"You know what's really sad?" He looked up into her eyes. "Even if I had known what was going to happen, I still would have done things the same."
Rayna nodded, understanding completely.
It was when they started the third run through of their hit debut single that the trio on stage noticed a change in the crew's demeanor. The first sign of trouble was a college-age intern darting into the room through back of the arena. The kid was out of breath when he got to the director. He whispered something in the older man's ear. The director's eyes went wide and he immediately pulled out his cell phone and disappeared back stage.
Avery, Gunnar and Zoey exchanged looks as they sang and watched as the news of something big spread from one side of the enormous room to the other. It eventually made its way to Rayna and Glenn, via a production assistant. Glenn went pale and immediately sat in the closest seat, which contained JLo's place card, and Rayna's eyes were suddenly glued to Avery.
He felt his blood run cold as they finished the song. Something was very, very wrong. Before they knew what was happening, their label head and manager had ushered them into a dressing room backstage.
"What is going on? Was there a bomb threat?" Gunnar asked, tightly gripping Zoey's hand.
"No," Rayna said, eyes meeting Avery's. "Um ... hotel security found Juliette in her room this morning. She ... um ... she overdosed. They've taken her to Ceadars. She's on life support."
"Oh my God!" he heard someone, maybe Zoey, say but it didn't register. Everything sounded muffled, as if he were under water. All he could comprehend was the pounding of his heart in his chest. The others around him were still talking, but nothing made any sense. He felt frozen.
"Avery!" He snapped back to attention at Glenn's voice. Looking up, he saw a mirror of emotion in the older man's eyes. "We've got to get you out of here now. There are about forty reporters in the arena and there's going to be about 4,000 outside once word spreads. Everybody knows that you two were close. They'll want comment."
Rayna nodded. "Get with security and get a car to the loading dock in the back. It's a restricted area for the press. They'll still get photos of the car leaving, but hopefully not too many shots inside. Do we know if they are making any changes to the show itself?"
Glenn shook his head, already on his phone taking care of business, though the worry for his former boss was still evident.
Avery sat motionless on a chair, trying to make sense of it all. Just hours earlier, he had resigned himself to moving on. Now, with the possibility of losing her permanently looming over him, his heart broke all over again.
Watching the who's who of the Nashville music industry mix and mingle around the legendary venue, Avery leaned against the bar, nursing a beer in silence. He watched as Zoey and Gunnar chatted with a radio programmer. Rayna, talked to Bucky and the sound guy making sure that everything was set for the evenings festivities. Deacon laughed in the corner with a songwriter buddy of his near the front door.
This room held so many memories for him ... for them. He remembered seeing her there a time of two with Deacon, before they had really met. And she had thrown the older man a birthday party there, not that he had been invited. It was where she had fixed their friendship after their first fight and offered an olive branch in the form of a studio key. The sound booth was where he held her hand as they watched Deacon on stage recording his album right after they had gotten together. And up on stage is where she first heard him sing the song she inspired. The song that had gain the band success, long after she left. It was the song they were there to celebrate.
"Hey, Avery!"
A voice pulled him from the memories and back into reality. Looking up, he saw Deacon walking over to him. "Deacon. Hey, man."
The pair shook hands as Deacon patted him on the shoulder. "Nice party. Tried calling you earlier to congratulate you on the nomination too, but it said your voicemail was full."
"Thanks. I had to turn my phone off completely. Damn thing wouldn't stop ringing," he said with a sarcastic chuckle.
"Anyone interesting?" Deacon asked, and Avery knew exactly what the older man was asking.
"Nope."
Nodding, Deacon looked down at the younger man, clearly seeing the intense look on his face. It was obvious that he was still hurting and Deacon wondered if the kid would ever be able to move on. "You know she's going to be there. What are you going to do?"
Avery shrugged. "Staples Center is a big place. I think I can avoid her for one night. I hope so anyway."
"Hey guys!" Rayna said walked up to Deacon and Avery with Gunnar and Zoey in tow. "Sorry to interrupt, but I think it's just about time to thank everyone for coming. Deacon, excuse us."
The three bandmates followed their label chief to the stage as Rayna gracefully stepped up to the center microphone.
"First of all, I just want to say thank you to everyone of you for being here at The Bluebird for another Highway 65 number one party," Rayna said from the stage. "It's very fitting that we are having a party for these guys at the place that brought them together in the first place. Personally, I first heard Zoey, Gunnar and Avery play this song on the very stage where I am standing. And it was just as great then as it is now hearing it on the radio. And it will sound just as good when they are singing it on the stage next month at the Grammys, where we just found out this morning that these guys are nominated for Best New Artist!"
Cheers and applause and glasses were raised at Rayna's words.
"Now I want to bring up the man who, no only sang, but also wrote and produced the song "Ain't Leaving Without Your Love." Avery Barkley."
Forcing a smile to his face, he took Rayna's place at the microphone.
"Thank you everybody. I ... would rather be singing at a mic, than talking at one, so I'll keep this short." He turned to look at his label head. "I have got to thank Rayna first. We could not have asked for a more perfect fit for a record label. You have taken us under your wing with grace and integrity and I know that all three of us have learned so much from you. Glenn, our manager. I've known you for a long time, through good and bad times. This band wouldn't be what it is today without you on board. Deacon, you have always been our biggest cheerleader and we are grateful to have you in our corner.
"And finally Zoey and Gunnar. When I wrote the song, I knew it was a decent song, but it needed something. Needed more. Your voices made it what it is. I can't take all the credit. I just put some words together. What we did together was give it life. So thank you. You guys are the best and I'm so glad we are going on this journey together." Avery turned his attention back to the audience. "So many times at these things, songwriters tell the story behind the song, but I think in this case, the song should just speak for itself ... so, Gunnar, Zoey, how about we just play it."
He was avoiding the topic and everyone in the room knew it. But it didn't matter. He had diffused the tension perfectly and soon the entire room was enthralled by the trio's acoustic performance of the song. He just wished his heart would stop hurting every time he sang the words he wrote.
They had made the decision quickly. As much as they had wanted to perform on the show, it just didn't seem right. To any of them. As it was, Avery had spent the entire day pacing aimlessly around Rayna's suite as they watched the media frenzy on CNN. On the couch, Zoey sat extra close to Gunnar and Deacon, had been on a plane on his way out when he got the news, sat on the armrest of Rayna's chair.
Twice the news anchor had falsely announced Juliette's death, only to retract the announcement shortly thereafter. Each time, Avery felt a little piece of himself die inside.
After several hours, about the time they would have been starting their trek down the red carpet, Glenn finally managed to get through to Howie V. The look of relief when he finally got some answers out of the mega-producer, made Avery relax for the first time in hours. "She's improved enough for them to take her off the ventilator," he reported after he ended the call. He smiled at Avery."She's going to be okay."
Everyone in the room breathed a sigh of relief. Choking back his emotions, Avery quietly excused himself and walked outside to the terrace that overlooked Beverly Hills. Looking down on the chic boutiques and eateries, he placed his hands on the railing and tried to compose himself, taking a few deep breaths before giving into his emotions.
The tears came in sobs as he realized how futile his plan to move on had been. No matter what she did, how she acted out, he would always be in love with that girl who showed up at his door with pink macaroni and a confession. He would never believe that she had truly become what she pretended to be. He had seen her eyes in the elevator. Somewhere deep down, she was still his Juliette. And he had almost lost her forever.
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