[A black-and-white grainy newsreel starts at Adventure Bay ballroom at night; romantic music plays; crowd applauds; Zuma, in his black tuxedo, complete with white dress shirt, black slacks, black loafers and an orange bowtie is walking to the microphone]
Newsreel Announcer: Today, Rocky's best man, Zuma, the member of the PAW Patrol, presented a best man speech, to the wedding guests, and the public.
[The crowd stopped a loud round of applause; the scene fades to various footages of people bowing down to radios, around the world]
Zuma: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, thank you for coming, and for putting down your forks for long enough to give me your undivided attention. Thank you. Thank you very much. For those of you who do not know who I am, I am the best man. And before I say anything else, I would like us all to take a moment to appreciate and raise our glasses to Taiga, Forest, Lucas and Maya, for what has been thus far a wonderful celebration on such a special occasion. Now, I know that most of you do not make it out often and only came here for the free chicken, so I have been asked by Tundra to instruct you not to make a scene — I am looking at you Jomari Jackson. I first met Rocky at the formation of the PAW Patrol, but I really got to know him at any other rescue missions. Do not worry, Tundra. I am not leading to the story you are worried about! So when I first saw Rocky at playtime with Ryder, I could not believe that he was hydrophobia. Now, I know they say that you never get a second chance to make a first impression, but let us just say that Rocky should be grateful that that is just a myth! Rocky stopped doing hydrophobia not long after that meeting, but, happily, he did not lose his overcome on hydrophobia. And for anyone who doubted that he did, let us not forget about our night at the Lookout… Just kidding, Tundra. Rocky was as well behaved… ahem, dull… as Mayor Humdinger. But there is a lot more to being brave to water than hydrophobia. We have all seen Rocky bring his overcome on hydrophobia to his work as a eco-pup and to his pursuit of recycling. And it is definitely been a driving force in a friendship that has lasted three years, with a lot of years yet to come. And, in any case, we all knew that hydrophobia would not last forever. At least we all hoped it would not! If it had, then Tundra probably would not have given Rocky a second look at Pup Park, where they first met. Walking into Pup Park, I am sure neither Rocky nor Tundra expected it to be the start of a journey that would lead us here today. After all, Tundra was so busy with her mountain rescuing, while Rocky was so busy with his recycling, that neither thought that they had room for another person in their life. On August 22, 2989, destiny changed their plans. And this was the first of many changes to come in Rocky's life. First of all, gone were his wetness and his bad fashion! But, more importantly, we started to see Rocky shine in ways we never knew possible. Tundra, whether it was through her happiness or her introducing Rocky to marriage, brought a new dimension of happiness to him that even I had never seen. But, having got to know Tundra's family a bit more in recent weeks, now I understand where this happiness comes from. In fact, tonight I see two very happy families coming together. And we all know how delicate interfamilial relations can be — particularly when one family is Toonatopian and the other is Toonatopian. But whether it is over a steaming plate of dog biscuits or getting together around the Cross, it all comes down the same thing: love and mutual respect. And I think you would all agree that there is a lot of that in this room today, and I think you would also agree that there is a lot of that between Rocky and Tundra. So let us all raise our glasses to the happy couple. Rocky may not hydrophobia anymore, but with Tundra at his side, his overcome on water is now perfectly matched. Thank you. Cheers!
Wedding Guests: Cheers!
[Wedding guests gave a toast with glasses and applauds again; romantic music changes into an epic music; the scene cuts to morning San Francisco, with a Filipino-American newspaper boy shouting to get newspapers; newspaper machines are printing newspapers showing that Tamriel is now under its own Resource Wars; the scene cuts to the Imperial Legion fighting the Thalmor]
Filipino-American Newspaper Boy: Extra! Extra! Read about it! Tamriel is now at war due to the depletion of fictional resources and oil!
[The scene cuts to two newspapers showing the first one: "WEDDING GUESTS TURNS AGAINST US AFTER SONG JONG-BAK'S DEATH!", and finally the second one: "NEWLYWEDS ENEMIES OF THE STATE?"]
Radio Announcer: Residents are advised to pause for a public address.
[The scene flashes by camera to show President John Henderson, an African-American human, addressing a speech; shortly after pictures show all wedding guests, Korean People's Army personnel, Republic of Korea Army personnel, rogue US soldiers and rebels from around the world slaughtering civilians living in and around wedding host cities]
President John Henderson: Romance has been betrayed as those lovely newlyweds and all wedding guests and participants from all weddings have now turned its sinister hands against us! It is an offense in which we can no longer abide too! All newlywed arch-traitors may have escaped, but their families, including all wedding guest families and all wedding participant families has been made an example for those who rebel against the state! To those of you, my fellow Americans, the citizens of our great nation of the United States of America, who still possess the strength to fight with every resource you have, then do so and rise up! My fellow Americans, join me in repelling the iron fists of all wedding guests and participants in the name of romance and country! Even in death, the American race shall prevail and die with valor in the name of Uncle Sam, and George Washington!
[The scene cuts back to John Henderson; the audience cheers very loudly; red, white and blue confetti falls; cameras flashes even more; the scene cuts to black]