"It took you but ten seconds to come to that conclusion?" Loki groaned, levering himself up into a sitting position. "Are you quite sure?"

"I know this scene." Tony grumbled, because really, this? The machine in the center, the audience, Steve, Peggy, Tony's dad… urgh, there was no way to mistake what this was. Tony had seen the videos before. He knew exactly what was going on. "This is definitely 1943."

"Name." Peggy Carter demanded, gun trained on the eyes of the suit. She probably thought it was the closest thing to a weakness that the suit had. That was a lie, of course, but at least she was trying. Good old Aunt Peggy.

"Uh… yeah, no, not gonna give that right now. I'll tell you who the ass in rubble is, though. That should count for something."

"I am neither a posterior nor a donkey."

"Sure you're not." Tony waved Loki's anger away like it was made of little more than spider silk. He wasn't going to bother wondering about whether this was a joke or a genuine misunderstanding, considering just what kind of tone Loki was using. "Anyway, the guy back there really is Loki, the Norse God of Mischief. He's causing some trouble in New York right… well, it was all of two minutes ago for me, but I guess it's a good seventy-ish years into the future for you."

Tony was doing one of the things he did best, other than science and sex: talking until the other person got so caught up in trying to figure him out that they could no longer quite remember why they were angry at him in the first place.

"You want us to believe that you've time-travelled here?" Howard asked, and that skepticism, that derision was so thinly veiled that Tony felt like he was maybe three seconds away from punching the man, which would probably be a bad idea, because the suit was stronger than Tony was, and if he killed his own dad by accident, he'd never be born at all, and that was one paradox he did not have the time to deal with. Maybe. It really all depended on how he was planning on getting back to the future.

Now if only there was someone here that would actually get the joke…

"Well, I'm standing in front of you in ridiculously high-tech armor, even for 2012, and I could probably call out half of you by name," Tony paused, and then slowly, so very slowly, shifted his weight and turned towards the men on the balcony.

He still hadn't taken off the suit's mask.

"Including the HYDRA agent lurking up there in the corner." Tony tilted his head. "Heinz Kruger, was it?"

"What the hell are you-?"

Howard Stark's somewhat enraged question was cut off by the gun that went off midway through, the HYDRA agent in question apparently deciding that, if nothing else, he could still get around to killing Erskine.

Too bad for the HYDRA agent that Tony had already expected this and moved to intercept the shot. He was glad that bullets weren't as fast as they would be in the future, because that made it so much easier to jump in the way. Hell, they weren't even scratching the armor that badly. "You know, I'm used to a little more witty banter when I'm fighting. You know, some fun repartee, a little tête-à-tête. Even Hammer at least tried."

One of the others on the balcony must have had some form of military training, because they were currently wrestling the HYDRA agent down with ease. Tony couldn't resist calling out some more advice. "Watch out for the cyanide pill in his tooth; if he goes all crunch-crunch, you lose your interrogation victim."

"Hammer?" Loki wasn't fighting anyone or anything, which was weird, but at least he seemed to be putting some effort into the previously mentioned witty banter, which the rest of the room was evidently not used to. He also seemed to be ignoring most of the chaos going on in the room, including the half dozen guns that were still pointed at both of them. "You mean to suggest you engaged in some form of flyting with Mjolnir?"

"No, actually, though that sounds like it could be interesting." Tony turned and shrugged, knowing that Loki wouldn't be able to see his expression at all, given that the faceplate was still down. Up. Whatever. Point was, no one could see Tony's face. "Nah, there's just a guy that thinks he's my rival, and that's his last name."

"Much less interesting."

"You just want to see someone insulting your brother's weapon." Tony started shifting his weight from one leg to the other. "So, you're being scarily calm."

"I'm looking for a chance to destroy you and return to the battle, or simply walk out and begin establishing safeguards to establish my victory in the future." Loki's answer was so blasé that it almost didn't register as a threat.

"Well, that's rude." Tony blinked behind the mask. "At least you're being nice enough to tell me. Most of my enemies aren't that courteous. Wouldn't that cause a paradox?"

"So long as I ensure that my actions have no effects that clash with what I am already aware of occurring, then I have nothing to fear." Loki's eyes were nearly twinkling, pale blue and still very creepy. "This is not my first time playing with time, Man of Iron."

This was the point at which one of those lovely military types from the balcony finally decided to try to get involved.

"What the hell is going on here?!"

Too bad. They'd been having ever so much fun.

o.o.o.o.o

A/N: A few people have asked about Natasha. She's going to show up. Just not in the first two chapters. She'll have her moment. Patience.

Also, I'd like to remind you all that I did say this would be a very short story.

Ja ne,

Phoenix