Ooops! I'm an idiot and deleted the chap 2 instead of delete the document (I know, idiot). So, chap 2 up (again).

I hope you like this chapter, I really do.

Chatper one, part I: Good bye old world.

"Great" I sighed, as soon as I put a foot in the entry after that my benevolent grandmother, the dictatorship of Prue, Holy Piper and the self-righteous attempt to be like me of Paige, had been returned to the car and gone back to their stupid lives trying to make me believe that "this" is best for me.

"Good afternoon Phoebe".

A woman greeted me with a cynical smile, exaggerated outlined eyes and a red lipstick that didn't look good on her, but I think she insisted to painting like that to mock the best of the unfortunate souls who were imprisoned there against our, healthy or unhealthy, wills.

I said nothing, crossed my arms and swung my small backpack, looking at anywehere except to that crazy woman...yes, she was the real crazy, not me, I have no idea what was a person like Phoebe Halliwell doing in rehab...or well, I could have a little clue of why I was here or, actually, why I was locked up here, despite my clear attitude of "I dont want to go" althought I never refused or did a scandal out loud...I thought -and still thinking- they will regret their decision soon and come back for me...or that was what I wanted to believe.

"Phoebe" Said the grim voice of my grandmother, Penny, who was peeping in my room waiting for my arrival.

I don't think she had been a long time there, because she knew that I never appeared before three in the morning, and for a twist of fate -specifically by the police raid at the club where I was partying- the party was over at about, four o'clock.

"What " I asked, trying to don't pass out because of my obvious state of intoxication that I tried to hide, as every time I was drunk ... which happened often, every Friday, Saturday and Sunday of the week, although sometimes I had the luxury to do whatever I felt like it during the week also, and mess up in school and skip classes.

My grandmother looked at me with a serious face, cold and expressionless, but deep down I knew she was shattered ... as much as me ... she had given everything for me and my three sisters after my mother died when I was three and my father left the house before I could reach four... and we both knew that that was the main an common problem at home: the reason why my grandmother had to be a mother again, when it should be resting and playing with us when we come to visit. It is the reason why Piper focuses on her studies and doesn't like going out with boys, for fear of hurting her or leave her ... is the reason that Prue is a person so extremely repressed, responsible and so demanding, even to herself ... is the reason why I feel that no-good, since neither my father loves me ... and is the reason that Paige feels so different to others kids, having been raised by her grandmother and also be our half-sister ...

I looked at her with an air of superiority and pretend that none of us knew we really love eachother and wanted to live happily ever after like in fairytales. I closed the window which I had just come to my room ... way out that Paige had learned from me ...she was the reason of why I was drunk, after a big scandal a few hours ago.

"Follow me, please" Asked the same nasty lady, taking me out of my thoughts and painful memories, leaving me with a bitter taste in the mouth at the thought of my younger sister.

They all had struggled to separate us as much as possible when she turned fifteen and began to imitate my rebel ways to live: they all went against me for giving this kind of example to the girl who vomited in the bathroom of the house at two o'clock after escaped without permission, but anyone noticed that I felt it more than anyone.

That night, I went to her bed and talked to Paige. I asked her not trying to be like me ... I didn't want her to be as unhappy as I was, of course I didn't say it that way so pitiful, but I have to assume, in a cruel and hurtful way: then everything got worse from that day forward, because, Paige began to try to be better than me at being the worst scum of the world...

"Paigy, Hey" I told her mockingly the next day, when I saw her lying in bed next to mine, with a hangover from hell.

"Did you see what I did Pheebs?" She asked me, proud and happy of her acting, with bright eyes, waiting for my comment of support, congratulations or something, which broke my heart.

"Sure, the whole neighborhood heard that you didn't know how to run away and that you even needed help to throw up 'cause you couldn't do that little and easy thing right, and of course, they put you on your cute and sweet favourite pajama bear! to ensure a good night of rest and sleepy after your first and last night of being a fake rebel girl".

The eyes of my little sister filled with tears with every word I said rubbing her mistakes without a slightest caring, making her feel dissapointed of herself. I was sure that she hated me as much as I hated myself because of, as her twisted mind was telling her, not being as good as I was being a mess.

"Don't try to be like me Paige, you're not like me and you'll never be" I told her before leaving the room to go to school "Oh, and a tip" I added from the door, with an evil smile "Get yourself a personality, you do need one kiddo".

I remember that, after that, my sister's surly attitude became increasingly visible, but without trying to misbehave again ... and so remained for nearly six months: she felt that anybody understood her, and I didn't stop being a trouble maker.

I sighed as I walked behind the woman, thinking that I had imagined the whole place a little more cloudy than it actually looked so far ... and still didn't stop cursing yesterday. Yesterday, I stayed home for the simple fact of being tired and things had turned around eighty degrees impossible to reverse: it was my second argument with Paige after me unable to spend much time with her, and was also the last one.

I lay down to rest. I was sleepy and didn't care to sleep at eight o'clock in the afternoon, I mean, I was Phoebe...strange. I have no study habits, or sleeping habits or any habit...I was not required to explain why I decided go to bed early. The day had been exhausting. Started with the football competition that my class won, of course, following by the biology class where Todd and I released the frogs, before making blow some nice bottles in the chemistry lab that we knew we shouldn't mix ever...but, the prohibition did that impossible to resist.

I turned in bed, closing my eyes to recall the last hours at school, thinking about the punishment I would receive as soon gramms come home, which would be past ten p.m, now that she spent so much time working to pay the hospital bills in which I had spent nearly a week after an unfortunate car crash four months ago under Prue's charge ... I don't remember exactly what happened, or why we had the accident, I just know that I had never seen my sister so weak and fragile as when, after five days without talking or seeing me, she fell apart in tears while I was sleeping ... or pretending to. I loved my sister, my sisters, each one with all my heart, but I also knew that we were not what anyone might define as "united" and also knew that I hated myself for not being not even a third of what they were...and that wouldn't let me show how strong were my feelings for my family.

The door to my room burst open, and I could see the annoyed face of Piper, who had the telephone attached to a hand, looking at me accusingly.

"The principal just called" Said, crossing her arms. I refused to look at her "He wants to talk to gramms, said it was bad, what did you do now?"

My sister's voice was shivering, she seemed worried about me...I knew she was, and even when I was dying to run to her arms and hug her, telling her how much I loved her and that I had no idea why I acted the horrible way I use to, I didn't.

"Nothing, but you'll go to find out when she comes here yelling insanely after talking with that nasty and gossipy man".

Piper slapped her face, exhausted, and left my room ... I swear I saw her mourn.

I sighed and gasped on the pillow, furious about all this, feeling so guilty about the fact that I had people around loving me and caring about me, and I was not appreciating it ...and feeling deeply lonely and hated in my own home.

I remembered that I had not bathed, something I should have done after so much action in the afternoon, but was so tired and didn't want to do it...the only thing I had in my mind, was the deeply need to be in Todd's arms and get lost among our groans, wich -along with alcohol and flirting- were the only thing that released my mind from the mess I called life...

"You, jerk" I sighed, hatinghim like never before ... but I needed him here, with me ... even though I knew we would never see us again: we were through.

Our relationshop was over a few hours, or well, ours relationshop was to speak in a way, because in reality we were nothing. It started it end in the afternoon when they sent us a direction after the episode of chemistry, and we had the nerve to take the director's absence there for a couple of hours to did it on his desk...was not that I hadn't done it ever, but the adrenaline that the situation gave us made everything more exciting, at the point that we didn't realize when the door opened just when we were in the "end" of our brave action.

I smiled under my pillow, God, it was good! ... although I knew I was expelled after that, and tomorrow would be the day my grandmother knew ... at school, they knew she was too busy working, because she was very concerned about our educationl, so I always had the facility to go home without problems until they could communicate with her, more likely it was to talk to her tomorrow, failing that, when she has time.

Was an exciting afternoon with my best friend at school, that, I guess also end up being expelled, or failing that, found a way to save his ass turned the blame on me ... because that's the what we did: we just lived for our own, and nobody gets angry with anyone ... because there are no loyalties, we are free with each other ... and he was not the best person in the world, he really was a jerk ... and had a girlfriend, Paula. She was a successful cheerleaderr, known for Prue, but they didn't get along, and it was not a secret that her boyfriend and I were friends, and although I really don't sleep with the first guy that passed my way and, indeed, I had not had more than two sexual partners in my life, was known as "Freebe" so that the matter of Todd and I fooling around was an open secret ... they all knew, even Paula, who acted as she didn't know and used the information to humiliate me anytime she could...and that happened this afternoonm when my class was leaving the school and Todd and I were talking. She appeared and began to fight with him. I was so fed up with her cries, and just couldn't resist beating her to leave me/us alone ... making sure her operated nose ended broken again.

After that, I ran next to Ramona, a loser who was a sort of lap dog that did everything I ordered or asked, thinking she was part of our group. Later I met with Todd again, we did it again a couple of times, when he confessed that he had managed to say that I had forced him and was not his fault ... as I predicted, I would be the only one expelled... and hiding behind an alley, was the last time we were together and also the first time I felt raped by him.

After dressing and turn around without saying goodbye, I took the way home, crying silently for the injustice that was making me and for having lost the only person I had in my life ... it was true that both had begun to kiss passionately, he sat at the desk and I stood in front of him, and it was true that both couldn't help but get excited ... but was him who, in a quick and unannounced movement, had lifted my skirt and sat me on the top of him, before I'd have time to realize that his pants were unzipped and would penetrate me there: in that situation and without prior consensus ... I'm not saying that I didn't want and he forced me or anything, but I thought we were waiting to leave the school -or at least, get locked in the bathroom or under the bleachers-.

Now I was trying to sleep, exhausted by so many emotions and activities, and without realizing it, I fell asleep.

I awoke when I heard someone screaming and unplugged at me sharply. I jumped surprised, sitting in my bed and thinking that probably, my grandmother had already talked with the principal, and was the next day in the morning.

"Where is Paige!" Cried Prue, being the only thing I understood of everything else she screamed.

I shook my head in confusion, why I had to know where was that girl? In general, they hardly left us alone, and now I had to be the GPS and tell where she was.

"Phoebe!" Repeated shaking, and then I had to react.

"Ehh ... Paige?" I Stammered confusing.

"Yes, Paige!" Shouted, making me a slap on the arm and would have protested if I wasn't so confused "Your sister!, Black hair, brown eyes, white, aged fifteen, of this size " Indicated putting her hand near her eyebrows.

Prue looked like a raging bull, and I still didn't understand anything.

"Stop shouting" Piper intervened, as usual, trying to impose peace "Don't you realize she doesn't understand a word of what you're saying?"

" Piper ... Don't you dare to defend her!" Prue refuted, while arguing.

"I'm defending anyone! Stop arguing! " Answered my sister, I wanted to smile feeling protected by her, but I was still confused with everything.

"Pheebs, we can't find Paige" She said, giving me at last to understand why Prue shouted, and why to me "She escaped through the window, and only when Prue came back home, she realized that she left"

I rubbed my face, and now I understood a little bit: both, Prue and Paige, shared a room so that Paige would "stick" decency and had beside her a good example rather than a bad one like me.

"Do you know where can she be?" Asked Piper.

She seemed shattered, Prue too, as I wanted to know what time, what day we were living and where my grandmother was ... well, my head was spinning after Todd and me had drunk almost four bottles of rum after school...

"Must be ... today was ..." I started thinking, angry because I had a headache "Wait, wait, today there's a party at Debbie Connor's" I said putting up, staggered to one side "Must be there, she have heard that from me, she always wanted to go".

"Why I'm not surprised that this is because of you?" Barked Prue, ready to start yelling something "I thought she had forgotten to want to imitate you".

I shook my heaed, stood up and while though I was in pajamas, ran out of the house looking for my sister. I took the car, stunned, knowing that I should't drive being drunk, but had done several times without problems and this time would not be an exception ... it was about Paige's sake.

I came to a place full of lights, smoke and people having sex in the bushes, other injecting things, drinking, and I thought I'd die if I ever find Paige in those conditions...and was also, the first time I put in my family's place, understanding how they felt about me when they saw me so lost in life.

I shook my head and parked as the music helped to increase my migraine. I found my sister dancing with Todd, too close and then kissed as if tomorrow doesn't exist. I ran and fell to the ground, stumbling with some people lying on the floor, busy dreaming with their LSD, so I decided to walk this time, albeit slower, but come without setbacks.

I saw the asshole of Todd move his hand to Paige's shirt zipper, starting to download it, showing her underwear. I almost vomited. It was disgusting to see the face of confusion in my little girl, who I knew was just trying to look bigger and didn't know how to stop the situation, allowing him to take off her shirt.

"Take your hands off! " I screamed, hitting him in the face and knocking him to the floor, seeing him contracting painfully.

"Phoebe!" Cried she, angry and ashamed, covering her torso with both hands and looking for her bluse.

"We are going home" I shouted taking her arm, dragging her to the car, but she kept kicking and complaining, of course I paid no attention, it hurt too much to look at her and recall Todd's arms around her neck.

"I hate you!" Paige cried, staring at me with a deep resentment and even, scaring me.

She staggered as she was drunk and I hoped she had not taken anything else than a little bit of alcohol.

"I don't care" I lied, pulling her into the car with violence and starting to drive as fast as I could to avoid she trying to thrown out the door with the car running. It was something I'd do.

"You do" grumbled, and though I knew it was true, I said nothing.

Upon arriving home, I grabbed her arm and pushed her to the door. We heard the hysterical screams of my grandmother and Prue, and Piper was crying.

"Are you insane? Have you ever heard 'don't drink and drive'?" Cried Prue "You may have killed Paige!"

I smiled, Was she only worried about Paige? ... No, I knew that she meant "you may have killed yourself" she couldn't bear to see the same thing happen twice in such a short time.

"Stop talking as if I wasn't here!" Paige complained and I let her go of my arm, but was attached by my grandmother.

"We need to talk" She said seriously.

"Isn't my bussines!" Screamed trying to scape. Her eyes were covered with tears, angry, frustrated at being arrested as well.

"Stop acting like Freebe!" Prue screamed, covering her mouth at once, ashamed of what she just said.

I felt uncontrollable urge to mourn ... I could hear those comments from anyone, and it hurt ... but from my own sister was too, too hard. I could see the regret in her eyes, but ... she would never ask me for forgiveness. Her ego was bigger. My ego too.

"She will never be like me" I said, listening as arrogant to others, but speaking with deep pain "She needs to find a personality, and not a copy of ours, neither a foul copy mine".

"Why do you keep hating me if I have always supported you completely! The first time I tried was a failure! and it took me six months to learn how to do it well, to have a plan to get away without anyone noticing and... I just want to be like you!, what is wrong with that?" Paige screamed, and my heart broke again: If she hadn't tried anything, it was because she was learning the method before...

"Everything!, You're not me, get it over!" I screamed with all the pain I was feeling in my chest, to see that in some part, it was my fault, that she was doing that.

"What's the fucking problem!, Is it only you can have fun, be free and...?"

Paige was making me sick and tired. She was talking nonsense without knowing, and I didn't want to hear more...I could only hear the cries of Piper, the screams of gramms asking us to come home. Without knowing why, simply giving vent to my emotions out of control, I raised my hand and slapped Paige.

"You never do this again" I said through clenched teeth, seeing how hurt she was...none of us would have expected something like this before "You have a future, dreams and talent, do not ruin your life".

Most looked at me confused, especially Prue. Paige shrugged to vomit, soiling whole. After Piper and gramms took her to her room.

I hugged myself, and I turned around, hearing the voice of Prue.

"Where are you going?" She was still affected by what she said and also what she had heard of me.

"Freebe has a reputation to take care of" I said, knowing it was stinging in her wound by repeating the nickname I hated and resented me.

I walked slowly and no one stopped me, I wanted to go far, far away.

"This is your room" said the woman.

Both entered in a small room with two bunk beds: white, perfectly clean and tidy, and I thought that only one person so neat freak like Piper, and as strict as Prue may have a place like that. I felt like fainting...my sisters...I needed them so much...

"Anything you need, do not forget to tell, your teammates will arrive in two hours after they run out of sports out there, take some time to accommodate you, at five it's time to eat, do not forget, however, let your time in your portfolio" She said, leaving the famous folder on the top bunk of the bunk on the right, I assumed that I would sleep there.

The woman left and I closed the door behind me, leaning against the wall and couldn't help mourn as never before...or well, twice before: when dad left and when my mother died.

I needed a hug from Piper; one of those I hadn't receive since three months ago, the day of my birthday ... one that I almost refused after saying that "seventeen years is too old for sweet and childish hugs from your big sister"...Now I was dying for her embrace.

Prue...I needed her...yes, only when you're as desperate as I was you realize you need your dictator big sister...that you actually know it's not as dictator and that's only seeking for your welfare ... I wish I had heard her advice before, when she said "Do not mess with these guys" Why didn't listen when I was banned the first time? Because when something was forbidden was irresistible...and her opinioon as gramms just made me want to do those wrong this with more pleasure, just to make them angry and...just because I wanted them to hate me as much as I hate myself.

But I couldn't help but be resentful, because they had me locked up here since I was "addicted to alcohol and parties, because I had a terrible performance and needed help" ... That wasn't true. I was not an alcoholic, never had tried drugs, I think had never smoked grass more than once, as they all could swear I do...but if they wanted an addict, I'll give them one: because that's what I do, bring the counter ... Do you want I upgraded?, then I will do everything I can to discharge.

I dried my tears, enraged, wanting to kick everyone and stopping to see the new room where I was. It had four doors the size of a long locker and wanted to go to look, seem to need convinación and be locked. I took the folder and threw my backpack on my new bed, and there was the combination of my locker so that no one dared to steal my stuff ... like I care.

With the folder still in my hands, I went and looked up the numbers 8924, hearing and issued a slight "click" that let me open the large door now. I looked inside and noticed that that it was actually my closet with the suitcase that my grandmother had left at the entrance when she left me, at the same time that I was sent to talk to the counselor to explain the rules of the center to me, that of course, I didn't listen.

I put the folder inside, trying to memorize the number, just in case, and I jumped to the bunk bed, remembering old times when Paige and I had eight and ten years old and we shared one, taking turns each night to sleep in the top bunk.

I wonder if this will work to give a good shake"up, and make her understand that this kind of life is not what she is looking for...I hope that me being in this jail help, so that what Prue tried -and couldn't- do for me, I can do with Paige : protect and make reconsider.

I hope that gramms' plan work out ... I remember her exact words the day I arrived home after discussing with Paige and gone to get some distraction from the same party where I was gone. She looked me, sitted in my bed after I entered through the window and told me a chilling "Phoebe" to which I replied with a drunken and mispronounced "What ?"...

The memory that the creepy woman who brought me here had stopped, just entered this place, and returning to its painful course.

"This afternoon I was told you were expelled" she said, sternly.

I put latch to the window that just closed, only to do something.

"I know what you did in the biology lab, the disaster in chemistry class and your scene in the principal's office".

"Did they tell you that we were in full orgasm?" I asked, only to provoke more, feeling her hand hit my face with such intensity that I couldn't hold my tears.

I turned my face to a side, she sat back down after standing as fast as lightning, and bit the second phalanx of the index finger.

"I don't know what to do with you" she confessed.

I could see her shivering hand, also her chin: she was about to say something important.

I walked to my closet and looked for another shirt to sleep, I was sweaty from dancing so much and also my blouse was soiled with vomit of Paige, who was already dry, and I could be many things, but I wouldn't sleep with that. I began to undress, because I was not ashamed of my body to anyone, and my gramms was the one who had changed my diapers and teached me all of biology I needed to know as I grew.

"Look at the example that you give to your sister. Look at the problems that causes in class ...I need you to grow up, to mature ..." I said, watching me walk.

I went through the room and only had my underwear on, looking for something to put among my laundry, because I just pulled my pajamas that I wore when I went to the party and also had not thrown my clothes to wash for almost two weeks and would have nothing to wear the next day if I took something of my closet now.

"I do not know what to do with you" she repeated, and I heard her crying, covering her face, then looked at me with pursed lips and glassy eyes...She was looking at my torso, focusing on my breasts full of brands that Todd had made sucking and bitting in the afternoon.

I was embarrassed, almost for the first time. I put a shirt on top quickly, I was not able to seeing her cry in that way, the pain was so strong that for the first time, I gave in and hugged her. She stroked my hair, like when I was little girl and slowly separated from me.

"You're more drunk than you were".

I closed my eyes, feeling like life whipped my face and I said that the love, family and the relationship we had when I was fourteen years old, was absolutely dead.

"What do you came to say?" I asked walking up to my window, only to open it a bit ... I was suffocating.

"I want you to sleep, tomorrow I'll wake up you early to do your suitcase".

"Case?" I managed to ask, spinning me to see her.

"For your sake, and for Paige's" said, she was more sorry for her "Tomorrow we are going to intern you".

"We are?, intern you?" I asked about going into hysterics, understanding everything but understand nothing at the same time.

"I made a decision, your sisters already know..."

"Admission to where?"

I looked scared, she sighed heavily before answering.

"A rehabilitation center dear, I can not do anything more for you".

I froze.

I felt her lips kissing my forehead, said something I did not hear, perhaps one of her typical "Blessed be" and left my room.

I know I cried, but I don't remember more...I also know that that day my life was turned upside down as the unexpected and violent car crash I had lived four months ago... I know that I know nothing.

I felt my stomach complaining, I was hungry, and with reason. I had not eaten since the previous day. I had not had breakfast, busy vomiting hangover, nothing more than wandering in my bed...

I felt steps into my room and opened one eye, seeing Piper crouched between my clothes and selecting one to put in the suitcase she was doing for me, but didn't say anything until she left.

Later, gramms asked me to come down to eat, and I did, impressed myself by not saying a word.

The meal was served, I sat down at my empty plate and filled my glass.

"Do you want potatoes?" asked grammsr, the only one who dared to speak.

The others looked at me with guilt: Prue was still sorry after calling me Freebe, Piper for failing to "Save me" and Paige seemed to have ceased to hate me now that she knew that somehow, through her own fault, I was going to be admitted in a mental home.

"Claro" I smiled broadly, in a terrorific way to.

"You have to eat well, today will be a tough day" She said scanning me carefully, as if looking for a reaction in me.

I nodded, poured myself a strong portion of everything on the table, each of them and without forget any food.

The girls seemed amazed that I was so calm, but none had the courage to say anything.

"Thanks" I smiled, leaving both covered on the table, drinking my glass of soda from a single sip, just to annoy and pretend it was beer, rum, or something.

Gramms didn't say anything, and stared at me, knowing me, she knew something else had to come, I was not so peaceful, calm or type to be controlled ... but the truth was that I was discouraged, yet full of rage inside that I didn't know how to express in a nonviolent way, because I have not the strength to scream or kick. I was very tired.

I took the plate with both hands and stood with it, then walked slowly and deliberately, pausing impascible ...to the another header, in view of all and in front of her.

"Delicious" I said with a smile almost macabre, before dropping the plate on the floor, looking very innocent, and hearing how it cracked, watching the food roll on the floor with no one stopped ...to the last pea rolling close to the chair of Piper.

I went to my room, giving me the pleasure or displeasure of seeing the surprised faces of my sisters and my grandmother exhaustion and Prue. I went back to bed and fell asleep, waking up when I got into the car ... it was time to go.

Now I regretted not having eaten anything, and having wasted my favorite food...yes...despite not having even a little heart to be as exaggerated to send me to a rehabilitation center, had all the tact to make me feel loved, appreciated... and deep down I knew that if I was there was for Paige... I was trying to help her to find her way, showing her what would happen to her if she tried to be like me, and also knew that there I could, perhaps, find some meaning to my life...if my all world was a mess, a change of scenery might do one of two things: Help me make someone out of my own, or end to sink. I Bet winner in both cases, if I have nothing ... nothing I can lose.

I heard the sound of the door, and sat down at once on a matter of inertia, waiting to meet some of the other girls or staff person, but never the guy who appeared standing in the door.

"Are you the new one?" He asked as I jumped off the bed slowly and stood infront of him.

So? Does it get messy with all those flashbacks? Well, here you have the reasons of why Phoebe is where she is and, from now, her adventure begins. Who's the guy in the door? Have you an idea already? I'm pretty sure you do.

Any comment is acepted if it is respectful, in a review (you can leave one even though you don't have a Fanfiction account, just clicking on the yellow button over there, and making a nickname).

Review response(s):

ViryMousy: Hahaha, yes it was because the original prologue was in english silly! The rest of the fic is in spanish, so is driving me crazy to translate to english. Thank you for being so supportive.

Pholefan: Thank you for your review! I hope you liked this chapter, and decide to keep reading until the last one :B it would mean a lot, seriously. (btw, when are you going to update your fics?).