Last week, we actually cheated. We picked two numbers at first, but they were ItaSaso. Laur thought that was too cannon, so she picked again, and the pairing is... BOMBERxPSYCHOPATHICSHARK!! If that's not crack, I dunno what is. 8D But we've decided NO MORE CHEATING. Even if we get something painfully cannon, like PeinKonan. We must write on!! But for the hell of being reasonable, ItaSaso appears as a side-pairing.
And we kinda sorta messed up next week's, too. I said "OMG (insertnameofcrackpairing)" and she was like "HOLY SHIT DUDE THAT'S FUCKING AMAZING" and then I figured out that I told her the wrong name. DX So for next week, there's another side pairing. D: I'mma try to be more careful!!
Title: The Nervous Game
Pairing: DeiKisa
Genre: General
Rating: A high T for mature discussions.
Summary: When their partners are out, Deidara forces Kisame to play a special game with him.
Credits: You know that game where two people put their hands on each other's legs and move it higher and try to scare the other person into backing out? Yeah, I totally came up with that, and Naruto. No wonder they're both so amazing. (?!)
Crack Wednesdays 2
The Nervous Game
"This is the stupidest game in the world," Kisame complained, his eye fidgeting.
"Nah, you're just nervous." Deidara taunted, sliding his hand further up Kisame's thigh. He smirked, feeling the leg tense under his touch. "Kami, you're such a prude, Sharky. Are you still a virgin?"
The blue one's face darkened in embarrassment. "What, are you?"
The shorter boy laughed at this, sweeping a strand of hair back. "Hell no, un. I've fucked many, many people."
"Whore," Kisame snapped back, gingerly moving his hand the smallest fraction up Deidara's thigh.
The blonde looked at the hand in disbelief, his bright blue eye wide in incredulity. "What the hell was that, un?" He asked, a smirk playing over his lips. Ignoring the flush staining his friend's cheeks, he moved the larger palm higher on his own leg. "Are you nervous?" He taunted, a devilish smirk on his face.
Shamelessly, the blonde repeated the question, scooting his long fingers higher on Kisame's leg. The muscles only tensed more. Clearly, Kisame was nervous, but his pride was far too great for him to back down now.
"Seriously, this is the most idiotic game ever," the Kiri-nin protested, making to stand up.
"Oh, shut up, un," Deidara countered laughingly. "Sasori no Danna and Ita-bastard are out on their mission. There's nothing to do while they're gone, un. Especially since they're most likely going to be out the whole day."
"Out screwing each other," Kisame corrected under his breath, trying not to look at the tan hand so casually placed on his higher thigh.
"Exactly," the blonde smirked, obviously relishing the idea of his superior being fucked by an Uchiha. "So when they get back, we gotta have some story for them."
The Kiri-nin blanched in horror. "Oh Kami, no, Deidara—"
"Are you nervous?" The sculptor hissed, his hand now well next to the shark-nin's crotch.
The sword-wielder shifted uncomfortably, perspiration beginning to bead on his neck. Yes, hell yes, he was nervous. But he swallowed, not wanting to be beaten by a blonde whore. He stared challengingly into the azure iris, pushing his sweating palm far on Deidara's leg. Instantly, his eyes widened in horror. His fingers were perfectly positioned above the blonde's dick. He'd moved too much.
Uncaring though, the terrorist leaned towards his friend with a leer of satisfaction. "Someone's getting a little antsy, un..?" Pointedly, he looked down at Kisame's pants, which were suddenly not as loose as they should've been.
The blue-skinned man stood up, denial on his face. "Deidara, this has gone too far." He slapped the blonde's hand off his thigh, and ran his fingers through his short hair. "I'm going to go take a cold shower." He grunted, walking away.
"Aw, Kisa, you spoilsport!" The bomber laughed, pure humor in his voice. "Watching the other guy get horny is half the fun!" When the defiant man continued to ignore him, he opted for blackmail. "Look Sharky, you keep playing, un, and I won't tell Danna and Weasel that you got an erection."
The taller man froze, horror crossing his face. He slowly turned around, hate drawn on his expression. "You are an evil, evil little brat." He growled, despair in his tone. Grudgingly, he sat back down, and winced as the tan hand reclaimed its place on his hip.
"Where's your hand?" Deidara asked cheerily, patting his own pelvis.
Kisame groaned in misery, randomly placing his hand just above the blonde's knee.
"Cheater, un," the shorter man scolded, sliding the other's hand back to where it was. "Play by the rules, Sharky. And it's your turn."
The Kiri warrior flushed again, and decided to get over the rest of the difficulties. His hand quickly swept over Deidara's groin and onto the blonde's stomach. He silently exhaled, simply relieved that he'd passed the most awkward part.
The bomber pouted, obviously having hoped for a more eventful passing, but didn't complain. His own hand moved much slower over Kisame's dick, the most sadistic grin on his curled lips.
"Now what?" The shark-nin asked in a ragged breath.
"Keep going, un." The blonde informed him. "There are other intimate parts on a man's body, dipshit."
Deidara was right. Kisame found his hand on the blonde's chest another uncomfortable place. It would've been alright with any other man, but the large mouth on the terrorist's torso was free enough from its bonds to chomp lightly on his fingertips through the fabric of the blonde's shirt, and the damn extra orifice was doing nothing to help his little problem down below.
"Are you nervous?" The sculptor asked again, eyeing Kisame's crotch again suspiciously.
"Goddammit whore, stop staring at my dick!" The taller man yelped in distress.
"Right, right, gomen, Kisa." Deidara chuckled, moving his hand to snake onto his friend's shoulder. "Just playin' the game here."
The blue man muttered some oaths scathingly under his breath, shifting his hand higher as well.
Just then, the dim sound of voices could be heard, drifting down the hallways softly.
The shark-nin froze again, his heart racing in panic. "Deidara- they're back." He hissed, terrified.
The blonde grinned, nodding. "I know, un." But he continued moving his hand, until it was cradling the curve of Kisame's shoulder.
There was the creak of the doorknob moving, and all too soon, Itachi was backing Sasori into the puppeteer and bomber's room, their lips locked in a violent kiss. Luckily, they were both unaware of the activity going on at Deidara's side of the room.
After staring at his partner for a moment, the blonde turned to the blue-haired ninja, a wide grin on his lips.
"Deidara?" Kisame asked warily. He yelped in shock as the terrorist suddenly launched himself forward, using the hand on the shoulder to pull the taller toward himself. Surprise saturated the room as Deidara captured the warrior's lips with his own.
The kiss seemed to last much longer than the three seconds it'd been, and when Kisame yanked himself free, a thick blush was coating his cheeks, and he stared in mortification at Itachi and Sasori, who were watching in amusement.
His embarrassment grew as Deidara's hands found his upper thighs again, and the blonde's face covered his vision. The cerulean eye seemed to smirk at him in triumph.
"Rematch, un?"