A/N: hey guys! sorry for the wait but here it is da da!
so far this story has been a little difficult to write, because Jasper and Alice are so perfect together!
some things will come to light soon though!
so read and reveiw i love to here what you all think!

Disclaimer: i own a pair of battered blue converse, but not twilight sadly, it all belongs to the brilliant mind that is Stephanie Meyer!

Enjoy! xx

Chapter 2 – Like it or Not

We can fight our desires
But when we start making fires
We get ever so hot
Whether we like it or not
They say we can love who we trust
But what is love without lust?
Two hearts with accurate devotions
And what are feelings without emotions?

I'm going in for the kill
I'm doing it for a thrill
Oh I'm hoping you'll understand
And not let go of my hand

Alice POV

Two weeks later...

'Alice!' came a high pitched voice, then I nearly fell over as a brunette slightly taller than me, practically hurled herself at me, squeezing me tightly.

'Hey, Bells, can I get some air?' I squeaked tapping her on the shoulder. I Smiled at my best friend and her fiancée, who looked so adorable together, he couldn't keep his eyes off of her.

Grabbing her left hand, I took a good look at the delicate platinum engagement ring. I let out a low whistle.

'It's gorgeous' I said smiling as Edward gave me a friendly hug, linking arms with Bella we walked to the car while Edward was left to deal with my two large suitcases. Edward struggled to them into the boot of his Volvo.

'Geez, Ali your only here for a couple of weeks. Did you pack enough?' I pouted, while Bella giggled.

'I only brought the essentials!' I whined, Edward ran his hands through his hair, then attempted to get the car boot shut. He managed to do so, barely.

All the way to the Cullen's, Bella and I were deep conversation about the wedding, from the band they had hired down to what type of cutlery they had ordered. I told Bella the dresses were due to arrive tomorrow, I had them shipped over.

Bella was to have three bridesmaids as well as me as the maid of honour and Edward was to have three groomsmen, not including his best man. Bella's bridesmaids were Rosalie Hale her close friend, from college, along with Angela Webber, Leah Clearwater. Edwards groomsmen were Seth Clearwater, Emmett and Jacob Black, Jasper was his best man.

Arriving at the huge house that was the Cullen's home, we were greeted warmly by Esme, Edward's mother, she showed me to one of the guest rooms, telling us dinner would be promptly at 6:30pm. Leaving my suitcases for the time being, I sank down on to the bed, indicating for Bella to sit next to me.

'So I want all of the details. How exactly did he propose?' she launched into a very romantic and surreal story, about how he had taken her to Greece. One night he suggested a moonlight walk along the beach, as they were walking along they saw fireworks, spontaneously he proposed to her, he didn't even have a ring! She had said yes, naturally, then they told their family who were all, happy for them. It sounded slightly clichéd but they were so endearing, it worked for them.

The next day, at promptly eleven in the morning the dresses arrived, checking over each dress meticulously before I signed for it. The messenger was impatiently tapping his foot, as I looked over Bella's wedding dress, checking for the slightest tear. Satisfied that each dress was in perfect condition I finally signed for it, as the messenger let out a sigh of relief, I got Rosalie, who had arrived two and a half hours before hand, to help me carry in the dresses.

We hung the dresses, still in the cases in Bella's huge closet. Not that she had a lot of clothes, just that she was marrying into a rich family. In the next couple of hours the other bridesmaids and groomsmen would be arriving, so until then the fitting would have to wait.

The whole household was abuzz with the preparations for the upcoming nuptials, Esme was preparing the menu for the wedding, her own catering company, the pink shrimp, taking care of it. I was helping Bella with turning the Cullen's garden into a location suitable for a wedding. It was very understated and simple, very Bella. She stuck to her guns, knowing exactly what she wanted and was not willing to compromise.

'No, I ordered a thousand lilies, not red roses! How can you mess that up!' Bella was shouting down the phone at the unfortunate florist, who had gotten her order wrong. Walking into the kitchen to grab a glass of water for Bella, I bumped into Esme who was running round the kitchen, with possible starters. Spotting me she placed a place with three miniature starters.

'Goat cheese starter, crayfish soup or pork liver pate?' I took a delicate bite of each one.

'the salad and the pate' smiling at her, she relaxed a little, continuing to test out some new recipes. She told me the groomsmen would be going right to the fitting, as they were running a little late. Walking back to Bella who was now telling Edward he was going to be late for his fitting.

'Where are the groomsmen?' she said throwing out her arms. Handing her the glass of water, I pated her on the arm, reassuringly.

'Seth called Esme ten minutes ago, they are going straight to the tailors, they'll be there in five minutes' Edward smiled gratefully at me, kissing Bella and giving me a quick hug, before making a swift exit into his car.

'Angela and Leah just arrived'

'good, let's go up stairs and try on your dress' she beamed at me, she couldn't wait to see the dress.

Each of the bridesmaids dresses were the same Purple and silver that Bella had wanted. The dresses were not all the same, having seen photos of the girls before I had designed dresses to suit each of them.

Angela's dress was a knee length one shoulder, chiffon dress with layered bias ruffle detail at neckline and matching matte satin silver belt at the waist. Leah's dress was a cocktail length, cap sleeve dress with pleated scoop neckline, the pleated skirt has pockets at side seams with scallop edging. Rosalie's dress was a knee length dress with draped bodice and silver sash. My own dress was also knee length scoop neck dress with pleated detail at bodice, wide silver waistband and pleated skirt with pockets at side seams.

As they tried on their dresses, Bella was vibrant with joy, she love the dresses they were simple but flattering. The dresses fitting them almost perfectly, only a few adjustments needed to be made, nothing that would take too long.

'That just leaves one more dress, Bella' Rosalie got out the wedding dress, carefully unzipping the bag, picking up the dress showing them the handstiched detailing. Bella let out a small gasp, gently figuring the beading on the bust, she picked up the dress. Slipping the dress on it fit her perfectly, hugging her curves. It was a chiffon floor length dress with a sweetheart, halter neck, slim A line with a short train, just underneath the bust there was a cluster of beads, and of few pleats on the side of the dress. Walking to the mirror, she took it all in.

'wow, Bella you look gorgeous, Edward won't know what hit him' said Rosalie. She smiled at me.

'Thanks Alice, it's amazing' she spoke softly, lifting the train up and twirling it round, so she could hug me.

Two hours later, me Rosalie, Angela and Leah made our way to Seattle to pick up some necessities for the hen night in two days time. We had agreed that it would be best to have the hen night a few days before the wedding, in order to let the bride, and the rest of us, recover before the big day.

The girls had already gone ahead as, I found a place to park my car. As I was locking up my car, I slung my handbag over my shoulder, making my way to the shopping centre, I froze as I heard a familiar voice.

'Alice?' it was soft and enquiring, exactly how I remembered but now more mature and smoother, than the last time we saw each other. I turned round to see Jasper. Jasper was still good-looking, he was more muscular with a dusting of stubble on his chin, he wore a long sleeved green button down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to show his muscular arms, along with a pair of dark jean and ratty black converse.

There was a long pause. I decided to break the silence.

'Jasper, hi. I haven't seen you in-'

'six years' I couldn't decipher the look on his face, he remained calm. He moved his hand as if to touch my cheek thought better of it then dropped his hand awkwardly. Another silence.

'you cut your hair' he then said pointing to the short spiky style I had adopted. I nervously tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

'I needed a change' this conversation, was incredibly uncomfortable. More silence.

'I like it, it suits you'

'um...thanks?' there was another awkward silence 'Well the girls will be waiting for me. I have a lot of stuff to be done'

'oh, right for the wedding!'

'yep, so I'll see you round?'

'definitely' then he smiled at me, it was only a small self conscience smile, but a smile nonetheless. Hesitantly smiling back, I started to walk away.

'it was nice seeing you again!' he said after I was halfway across the car park. He waved and I waved back, hurrying to find Rosalie and he others.

Jasper POV

The first time in six years that I see her and all I can say is 'you cut your hair'. I had always imagined what it might be like to see her again. But in most of my fantasies I said something cool or romantic and she confess she still loved me, that her leaving was a mistake. But no I had mess it up.

The conversation had been tense and awkward, there had been so many things I wanted to say to her. Are you still single or married? How is your work going? You look beautiful, I am still madly in love with you.

The past six years since she had left I had managed to get a decent job as a photographer and I thought that I had managed to move on, when I had met Tanya. But one meeting with Alice and everything I thought I knew was wrong. I had never quite gotten over Alice, nor the way she shut me out of her life.

She didn't respond to my texts or calls and deleted all my emails. I knew she was taking to Bella, for she always gave me a sympathetic look whenever I tried to convince her to send her a message for me. I managed to convince her one time, but it didn't work. She still didn't respond.

As she had tucked a stray piece of hair, I caught the unmistakable glimmer of a ring on her left hand. She was engaged.

As soon as I realised that my heart sank.

My phone started to belt out Muse, feeling good, checking the caller ID, I saw it was Edward.

'How long does it take to park the car man?' came the irritated voice of Edward.

'Sorry, I bumped into an old friend I'm on my way'

'well hurry up man. I have a million things to do, today or Bells will freak!' he was seriously stressed about this wedding, but that's what you get when you leave less than a month to plan for it. Bella had taken charge, but she was stressing so much, by the time it came to the wedding she would probably, just want it over and done with. Edward was in charge of the honey moon and wanted to take Bella someplace romantic but not clichéd.

'Chill out, Ed I'll be there' he hung up. I made my way inside the store, attempting, and failing, not to think about Alice.

Alice POV

Arms loaded with goodies for Bella's hen night, we loaded our spoils into the boot of my car. I didn't Jasper again.

Waving goodbye to Angela and Leah, Rosalie and I made our way back to the Cullen household, where Bella was in the kitchen with Esme, cooking up dinner. She seemed much more relaxed, it was probably Esme, being the calming influence that she is.

As I walked through the front door with Rosalie, I smelt the undeniable scent of steak, I felt nauseous. Getting a funny look from Rosalie, I ran to the nearest bathroom. I made it just in time and started violently puking out my guts.

Rosalie silently, pushed my hair out of the way, until I was done. Feeling a light sheen of sweat on my forehead, I rested my head n the side of the toilet, but Rosalie wouldn't leave me alone.

'C'mon sweetie we need to get you cleaned up' she crooned stroking my head, helping me to stand, she flushed the toilet, handed me a glass of water, I rinsed out my mouth and then brushed my teeth. Rosalie was silent, I guess she was used to taking care of people.

'Alice what's wrong?' Bella was patting my arm as I perched on the side of the bathtub.

'I'm fine, I must have had some dodgy food, damn airlines' Bella looked unconvinced. I knew I was in for grilling, because she could tell when I was lying. So I decided to put her off for a while.

'I am feeling a little tired so could I just have a little rest?'

'Sure, you can eat when you feel better' I nodded making my way to the room I was staying in. It was a decent sized room, with a minimalist feel decorated with neutral colours it was very modern, like something out of a magazine.

Taking my time to undress, I slipped under the covers into the large double bed, falling into an uneasy slumber.

'Is it true Alice?' I was confused this was big news, but it was good news. So why was James acting like it was the end of the world?

'Yes, I'm pregnant' I bit my lip, in anticipation. He was quiet for a few minutes. He ran his hand over his chin, he had a light dusting of stubble there, he closed his eyes and turned away from me.

'Okay' Putting his hands on his hips he walked over to the window, picking up a cigarette from the pack in his pocket and lighting up opening the window more.

'Is that all you can say?' taking a long drag he refused to look at me.

'What do you want from me Alice?'

'I want you to step up, I want for you to be there when I go for my ultrasound, and the antenatal classes. I want you be a father and love our child'

'But, I'm not ready for a child, not yet, maybe someday' he still wouldn't look at me, how immature.

'So where does that leave me? Because I am not giving up this child, this tiny little human that needs us!' he took in another long drag, subsequently stubbing out the cigarette. Walking back over to me he held my face in both of his hands.

'I'm not sure, I can do it' he murmured.

'Can't or won't, James?' I snapped, as I shoved his hands away.

'If you don't this baby then you don't want me either' I stormed out of the room, making my way into our room I grabbed a bag and started packing anything I could get my hands on. James walked into the bedroom.

'Alice, please don't do this!' I turned my back on him, picking up some clothes from the dresser.

'Where are you going to go?' I thought about it for I moment. Taking out my mobile, I quickly dialled Emmett's number. He picked up after the second ring.

'Hey Alice, what's up?' he sounded happy and carefree.

'Emmett, can I stay with you for a while?'

'Sure, what happened?'

'I'll explain when I get there'

'Do you want me to pick you up?' shit my car was still being fixed.

'Yes please' I heard the sound of a door being shut.

'Sit tight, I'll be there in ten minutes'

'Thanks Em' hanging up, I walked past James into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me, I walked to the mirror. Taking a few deep breaths, I attempted to hold back the tears that could wait until I was away from James. In the ten years that I had been with James, he had never seen me cry, in fact I hadn't cried since leaving Jasper in that airport years ago. Collecting my toiletries I walked back into the bedroom, James was sitting on the bed.

He didn't say anything just watched as I packed up. Not saying anything when I heard the honk of Emmett's Jeep, or when I left, giving him a fleeting look when I left.

I awoke with a jolt; sitting upright I rubbed my eyes, willing myself to forget. My phone began to ring, checking the caller ID it was Emmett.

'Hi Emmett, is it not a little early for you to be awake?' I sighed it must be at least six in the morning.

'A bit but I wanted to catch you before you went to sleep' too late for that.

'I managed to wrangle a week off work so I can come to Bella's wedding I'll arrive next week on Tuesday'

'How did you manage that?' I was slightly taken aback the head teacher at the school that he taught at was a mean hawk of a woman. Her name was Stella O'Donnell, she was 45 with short fake blond hair, dark brown eyebrows and a stout frame. It was no secret that she had a soft spot for Emmett, but he wouldn't date a colleague.

'Well I may have, flirted a little...'

'Emmett! That is horrible, you know she likes you'

'It didn't stop her from landing me with organising the school fair by myself!' I laughed when Emmett had first started at Chase Bridge Primary School, he had been propositioned by the headmistress, he had turned down her advances but since then he had always gotten the jobs none of the other teachers would take involuntarily. But other than that he loved his job, he was brilliant with children and all of his pupils adored him.

Laughing at Emmett's remark, I sat up on the bed, reaching for my dressing gown and wrapping it round me.

'Bella will be pleased to hear that you are coming. Email me the details of your flight and I'll pick you up'

'Cool, talk to you later, Ali'

'Bye Emmett' putting the mobile away I decided to go for a walk. Pulling on a pair of jeans and a long sleeved top, I slipped on a pair of boots and grabbed my jacket hanging on the back of a chair. I could hear voices form downstairs it sounded like Edward and Bella were watching TV. Walking into the living room, I saw that I was right. Edward was lounging on the long cream coloured sofa, with Bella snuggled up next to him. As I approached them Bella heard my footsteps she turned round to see who it was.

'Hi Ali, are you feeling better now?'

'Um yeah, I was just going to go for a walk, get some fresh air' I zipped up my jacket opening the front door.

'Do want me to come with you?' I shook my head.

'No you just relax, I won't be gone long' I smiled at Bella, who in return sighed, smiling and turning towards Edward who laid a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Walking into the cool breeze, I felt a little calmer. Walking onto a trail that led into the forest, I took in my surroundings noting how different it all looked at night time. I let my mind wander to the first year of mine and James' marriage. We had gone through a lot together and had taken its toll on our marriage.

Sticking to the path I continued to walk, thinking about how it could have been so much different for me and James.

'Don't worry, just relax, a woman in your condition. You should be taking it easy' said Emmett as he fluffed the cushions behind me.

'Emmett I'm pregnant, not sick' I rolled my eyes at him as he brought me a steaming mug of hot chocolate. Taking the cup from him, I inhaled the chocolate goodness. I was nearly five months pregnant and he was fussing over me like a little child.

'Well, you better get used to it, because until you go into labour, I'm looking after you'

'But I c-'

'Nuh uh, not another word, you heard what that doctor said' I gave him a disapproving look. I had been having frequent nausea, severe headaches, swollen feet and pains in my upper abdomen, the doctors were convinced I had pre-eclampsia.

'Plenty of rest and no stress' kissing me on the forehead, he pulled a blanket over to me, where I was stretched out on the sofa.

'Fine' placing the mug on the table I picked up my pad and continued sketching out a dress I was working on earlier.

'Okay then, I'll be off, so you'll call me if you need anything, Ali, right?'

'Stop being such a woman, just go already!' I playfully pushed his arm, smiling at him. Smiling back at me he grabbed his keys and his books, shutting the front door behind him gently.

Shaking my head, I took a sip of the hot chocolate, burning the tongue in the process. Jumping up from the sofa I made my way to the kitchen barefoot, to get a glass of water, and search for some food. I was craving a cheese and pickle sandwich, pottering around the kitchen, I absentmindedly began to stroke my belly with my free hand.

Stretching upwards to put the pickle back in the cupboard, I had a shooting pain go through my abdomen, doubling over I shut my eyes, willing the pain to go away, I slowly walked to the guest bedroom, the pain intensifying, and reached for the medicines that my doctor had prescribed. Quickly swallowing the tablets I curled up on the bed, with my eyes closed, until the pills worked and I drifted off to sleep.

An hour later I was awakened by the shrill ring of my blackberry. It was on the bedside table and the incessant ringing was piercing my skull. Answering the call I let out a horse greeting.

'Hello?'

'Alice, I wanted to talk to you'

'What is it James?' I was in no mood to talk to him. I just wanted to sleep. Why had I picked up the phone in the first place?

'Please come back home Alice' his voice almost breaking at the end.

'No' the pain in my stomach was not subsiding, the pain was merely intensifying, as I got more wound up at James.

'Please, I'll try, I'll try to be a good husband, a good father'

'You shouldn't have to try' I took a deep breath, rolling on to my back, fighting the urge to scream at him.

'You should want our baby' I gasped as I felt another sharp pain in my lower abdomen. Sitting up on the bed I looked down as blood painted the sheets red.

'Alice? What happened?' he was worried as he heard me break down into tears.

'No, No, No...' I trailed off. I had to call an ambulance. I had to call Emmett. Hanging up as James frantically repeated my name to get some answers, I fumbled with the buttons, dialling 999 as fast as I could.

As soon as I was connected I spoke so quickly the male operator, had to ask me to slow down and repeat what I had said. After I had given them the address, I was told they would be there in fifteen minutes. Lying back on the bed I barely had enough energy to call Emmett.

'Alice what's wrong? I could hear a door shut and a few people talking in the background.

'Something's wrong' I choked out.

'I'm on my way, just stay put okay. It will be okay' he didn't sound convinced.

The school was ten minutes away so he got there just as an ambulance arrived. Letting them in he jumped in the ambulance when two paramedics with a stretcher carried me out.

The next few hours were a blur, I passed in and out of consciousness, unaware of what was happening. Catching snippets of conversations around me.

'...the placenta detached...'

'...need to get the baby out...'

'...crucial that we proceed immediately...'

'...not going to make it...'

Later on I woke up in a small private room, there was a small window to my left that was firmly shut, a plump nurse was currently checking my blood pressure and heart rate. Seeing my eyes flutter open she gave me a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

'Hello dear. How do you feel?' she had a thick Scottish accent. My mouth was dry, she handed me a glass of water, as I moved to sit up I felt a tug on my abdomen, causing me to take a sharp intake of air. The nurse's eyebrows creased.

Holding my arm with one hand and resting her other hand on my back she helped me to sit up. Looking down I lifted up the ugly hospital gown. On my lower stomach there was a long line of stitches, like a centipede across my body. Dropping the gown, I silently took the glass of water, sipping it gently.

And for the first time in eight years, tears trickled down my face, they tricked down my cheeks until I was sobbing uncontrollably. Through my tears I didn't see the nurse leave or Emmett come in behind her as she returned. A familiar arm wrapped itself around me and held me as I wept, occasionally wiping away a few tears.

We sat there in silence, not wanting my fears to be confirmed, but morning the loss of my baby, all the same.

Would it have been any different, had I not lost my baby? Would he had loved our child and could we have been a happy family?

Stroking my stomach I sighed to myself. Turning around, I slowly walked back to the house making the most of the serenity and calm that surrounded the woods.

A/N: just to let you know i am working on my other story, After Midnight.
i'm not going to abandon this story, it just might take a while for me to update.
r & r guys until nxt time! :) xx