A/N: This one is based on this tumblr post here: post/156812824757/awwheartno-liberteaandjusticeforall-tfw-you

Steve stared at the box for two hours. Bucky knew because his dumbass punk of a best friend had it in his lap when he left for a grocery run at eight, and it was still there when he got back at ten. The box hadn't even been opened, so how Steve knew it was the gift he bought for Darcy, Bucky didn't know. It had been three months since he ordered the damn thing, and they'd pretty much consigned it to the abyss where all lost packages went.

But there Steve sat regardless, hunched over and staring at the neatly applied tape and brown cardboard with a packing stamp bearing his name. He'd perfected his 'woe is me' puppy dog face to a truly pathetic degree.

"Okay, do you want me to punch you? Or are you ever going to stop moping?" Bucky asked.

Steve moaned and his head sunk lower. Bucky ground his teeth.

"Seriously, Steve, you have to pull yourself together. Just talk to Darcy again. It's been two weeks. By now she has to have cooled off."

"I doubt it," Steve said miserably. "You know how she is. She holds grudges like there's no tomorrow."

"So you missed one date! It's no big deal."

"Five dates," Steve said, his voice breaking. "In a row."

Bucky blinked. "Five dates? How?"

"HYDRA."

"Goddammit." Next time they found one of those secret hidden cells, Bucky was going to kill it extra slow. "All right, maybe you could take her on a trip. Some nice tropical island on one of Stark's yachts. Repay her for those five dates and then some."

"She'd have to be talking to me first," Steve said. "But she's not. Last time I called, she hung up on me."

"That was a week ago. You really think she's still steaming at the ears?

Steve's answer was another moan, followed by sinking his head into a throw pillow as the package containing Darcy's new iphone cover slid to the floor. While he sulked and felt sorry for himself, Bucky stomped into the kitchen and grabbed his cell phone.

"Hey, Janie, it's me" he said when she picked up. "Doll, we have to do something about this. Stevie's been crying all day, and I think if he doesn't talk to Darcy soon, he's going to do something drastic. Like start writing terrible goth love poetry."

It was loud in the background like he'd caught Jane at a bar. That was odd because for all the time that he'd known her, she'd never been the drinking type. Then he heard a familiar voice in the distance.

"NOBODY KNOWS THE TROUBLE I'VE SEEN!" Darcy drunkenly sang. "NOBODY KNOWS MAH SORROOOOOOW!"

"Bucky, believe me," Jane muttered, "you are preaching to the choir right now."

"NOBODY KNOOWS THE TROUBLE I'VE SEEN! NO NO NOOOOOOO!"